Jump to content

What does one do?
*updated on pg 2*


  • Please log in to reply
22 replies to this topic

#1 ihope82

Posted 18 November 2012 - 09:38 AM

Tv? Nope....friggin didn't know i was pregnant seems to be on every damn channel....

Housework? Where to even start.....

Walk dogs? Too depressed to get dressed...

Shop? See above...plus unhealthy fear of pregnant bellies and newborns....

Sit and mope...and feel every twinge, every ache of impending doom....is all I can seem to do...

Edited by ihope82, 20 December 2012 - 08:28 PM.


#2 Chelli

Posted 18 November 2012 - 09:42 AM

Hi there,
I have moved this topic to the miscarriage forum as there are some wonderful and supportive members who will understand what you are going through at the moment.

I am very sorry this is happening to you and I hope you are surrounded by lots of love and support.

Regards
Chelli

#3 ChunkyChook

Posted 18 November 2012 - 09:49 AM

I am so sorry you are going through this sad.gif

I just flaked on the couch all sad and sorry for myself. It had been a massive night and TBH I was still in a bit of shock I think (I had gone to the hospital with bleeding and they were just like "Yeah looks like you are losing the baby, go home and wait it out there is nothing we can do for you") Being naive I was just in shock that there was nothing they could do to try to stop it.

Do you have a favourite place? Somewhere peaceful you can just zone out and try to get through it?



#4 librablonde

Posted 18 November 2012 - 09:51 AM

Lay in bed with large amounts of comfort food, magazines, dvd's, sleep a lot, possibly after consuming a bottle wine... I'm so sorry OP  sad.gif  My heart goes out to you  sad.gif

#5 elmo_mum

Posted 18 November 2012 - 09:52 AM

play stupid mind numbing games on fb

bejewlled
rummycub

pogo games

#6 EsmeLennox

Posted 18 November 2012 - 10:06 AM

I would drink, eat and watch movies, as opposed to what I actually did which was hold a birthday party for a family member.

I am sorry you are going through this,

#7 Shellby

Posted 18 November 2012 - 04:15 PM

I actually went to work - I hadn't started bleeding yet and luckily my shift was only 5-9am and I didn't have to deal with anyone or customers so knew it was safe and used up my time. Then I had 3 days off, which I honestly did nothing but read books until most of it was over and then went back to work.

I am sorry you have to go through this time, and its even worse when you have to wait around for it. May the physical side be quick for you.

#8 Peta Feral

Posted 18 November 2012 - 04:26 PM

Wine. A whole bottle.

I'm so sorry you are going through this OP.

Edited by PetaSiddle, 18 November 2012 - 04:26 PM.


#9 ~kacee~

Posted 18 November 2012 - 04:28 PM

We went out for breakfast. Trouble is, it was a nice place, but now I can never go back there again.

Look after yourself. I'm sorry you're going through it.


#10 pinkchutney

Posted 18 November 2012 - 05:50 PM

I am so sorry and hope you are ok. I just shut down. I didnt force myself to do or see or talk to anyone if I didn't want to. But then I didn't have any support from DH. I got all my support from my online friends who had gone through the same thing, as I found noone around me knew how to help me or what to say.

Don't listen to anyone who tells you what you should think, or how you should react. You need to grieve. In your own way.

Just look after you.

#11 pinkchutney

Posted 18 November 2012 - 05:53 PM

.

Edited by pinkchutney, 18 November 2012 - 05:55 PM.


#12 GreenEyedGirl

Posted 18 November 2012 - 07:42 PM

Do whatever you feel you need to .... curl up in bed ... read, play mindless games, I am not too sure...whatever yuo do take care of yourself that's all.
*hugs*
think after my ectopic op and waiting for the major bleeding a lot of my time was spent in the shower sitting there crying or just walking around mindlessly ... neither of which I would recommend but if that is what you feel like doing then do it.
There is no right and wrong reaction at times like this....you just do whatever.

#13 nik_klinger

Posted 18 November 2012 - 07:54 PM

Sorry to read & big hugs,
I had to wait 4 weeks from when i was told there was no heartbeat at 8 weeks, and at 12 weeks i miscarried naturally which was what my obst wanted,
It was only in May but i can't tell you what i did to get through it, so obviously it's a blank,
i remember working, trying to keep busy and just an agonising wait, in the end it happened of an evening and i was only home with my DS who was already in bed, it was calm, painless and almost natural, it was the waiting that did my head in, so please be prepared for the wait and then the ... nothing, the sadness.
Recently I miscarried again, this time was different, I was pregnant, and then at six weeks my perios arrived and then i wasn't pregnant anymore. Still the feeling of nothing and then the sadness.
I wish you well in getting through it all xx

#14 aleksandrap

Posted 28 November 2012 - 01:12 PM

I don't have answers for you. I've been trying to get my mind off it by spending time with my mum and sister who have been amazingly supportive. But today I just wanted to stay home and am wandering around a little aimlessly. I have my d&c scheduled for tomorrow and I am petrified of ending this, even thought the constant reminder that my body still thinks its pregnant is really hard too. hugs to you and I'm so sorry for your loss xx

#15 hanz33

Posted 01 December 2012 - 06:34 PM

I'm having one now - I'm crying on essential baby and eating everything I denied myself.

#16 whisk_

Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:39 AM

I went out for a big lunch with my husband and drank copious amounts of wine at one point.  Then we stayed out all afternoon and went somewhere for dinner and I got horribly drunk and fell over a chair.  It didn't really help in the long run, but we spent a day together out and about and talked a lot about what was happening and he was patient when I cried or had to sit down from the pain.  It got me out of the house for a while.  We planned a holiday that we took after we lost the baby to get our minds focussed on something else.  That day is what I think about when I recall my first miscarriage, and now we laugh about the chair incident and other aspects of the day, and I don't focus on the terribly time of the miscarriage so much.  

My second miscarriage was a lot more painful than the first, and I had to wait for it to happen too.  I parked myself on the sofa and spent days watching the olympics.  Fortunately at that point there was something other than pregnancy on the tv, but if you can't find something, go and get some tv series on DVD and watch the whole thing in one day.  I read a lot of books, too - crime novels and things which did not have anything to do with babies.  

Look, there's not much that helps take your mind of waiting for the inevitable.  I found the old adage "keeping busy" was useful, but my heart wasn't in whatever I was doing as my mind drifted constantly.  My first miscarriage happened unexpectedly, so I didn't have to wait for it, but my second I knew was on the way and just had to wait for things to start.  I went to work in the waiting period, until it got too painful to bear and I went home for the aforementioned sofa time.  Work wanted to send me home but I knew I would stare at the walls and think too much.  

One thing I must urge you not to do is sit anywhere near a computer.  (After checking these replies, get offline quickly!).  Google did nothing to make me feel better.  I found miserable story after miserable story and it just caused me to get more depressed.  People with happy stories never seem to post them.  I think I must have wanted to torture myself though as I fixated on searching for things on google and in my dark days my searches got more negative.  It did nothing for my recovery or my mental health.  

I'm sorry you are going through this.  Miscarriage is cruel and lonely, and terribly unfair.  I can tell you though things do get better but it takes a while.  Some, longer than others.  Take your time and don't let anyone make you feel guilty for hating the world.  

Am always here if anyone wants to PM for a chat.


EDITED:  have just seen OP posted a little while ago.  Hope you are okay.  Have kept my reply here for the benefit of others in the same situation.

Edited by whisk_, 05 December 2012 - 11:40 AM.


#17 N@K

Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:50 AM

I read through all three of the Girl with a Dragon Tattoo books.
And I'm sure there was some horror / thriller / action movie watching involved - keeping away from mushy stuff

bbighug.gif  I am very sorry you are going through this OP

#18 Ferelsmegz

Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:32 PM

QUOTE (librablonde @ 18/11/2012, 07:51 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Lay in bed with large amounts of comfort food, magazines, dvd's, sleep a lot, possibly after consuming a bottle wine... I'm so sorry OP  sad.gif  My heart goes out to you  sad.gif


This...

QUOTE (PetaSiddle @ 18/11/2012, 02:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wine. A whole bottle.

I'm so sorry you are going through this OP.


And this....

I had to wait 2 weeks.

sad.gif Sorry this is happening to you OP.

#19 ihope82

Posted 20 December 2012 - 08:27 PM

Hi all,
I thought I should come back in and update...
Thank you so much for your kind replies & advice.
I'm relieved to say that this baby is still hanging in there....despite Drs telling me otherwise, and being hospitalised with severe pain / bleeding etc.
While I'm thankful for each day I still fear the very worst is just inevitable and I truly truly wish that none of us ever have to go through it.
I hope no one finds this upsetting .. If u do I'm truly sorry, I haven't meant to hurt anyone and I do completely understand the pain of loss.
I hope everyone has a peaceful and restful Christmas
Xo

#20 adl

Posted 20 December 2012 - 08:39 PM

Thanks for updating,....I read but didn't post originally....I think finding there's others , so many others  who understood makes it a little less lonely... And sharing can help whether now  or maybe later I wish you all the best for a happy outcome..be kind to yourself ..

#21 flyingfree

Posted 20 December 2012 - 09:07 PM

So happy to hear bub is still hanging in there.

Hoping the rests of your pregnancy is uneventful, I know to well the heartache of loss after a loss is.

PM me is you are interested in joining the pregnancy after stillbirth facebook page.

Mandy

#22 Fillyjonk

Posted 23 December 2012 - 12:35 AM

Fingers and toes crossed for you. Sorry you had a scare... hopefully everything settles down and the rest of the pregnancy is boring.

Edited by with the goo goose, 23 December 2012 - 12:35 AM.


#23 Natttmumm

Posted 24 December 2012 - 12:20 PM

I have my fingers crossed for you. All the very best. Take it easy as you can


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Dealing with a toddler's morning tantrums

Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?

Child in suitcase 'could have died eight years ago'

A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.

MP breastfeeds baby during parliamentary session

An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.

My baby's first seizure

It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.

Portable pools 'more dangerous than permanent ones'

Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.

Heartbreaking moment mum kisses her one-week-old goodbye

At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.

The amazing Tee Pee bed and kid-friendly Frankie Bunk bed

These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.

The funny things kids say when you're pregnant

Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.

The real problem with having one child

In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.

Six-week-old baby found dead, believed stabbed

A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.

The fire hazard in more than 70,000 Australian homes

So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.

How having a baby can bring on OCD

We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.

IVF gender selection being considered for Australian parents

Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.

The best age to get married (according to the latest study)

Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.

Yes, you can get pregnant before your period returns post-baby

After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.

Fellow diner rewards mum after toddler's tantrum

Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown. 

IKEA begins massive safety campaign after two toddler deaths

Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.

Beaneasy: sweet nursery furniture with a twist

If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.

A dad's guide to hyperemesis

I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.

Woman adopts best friend's four daughters after cancer tragedy

Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.

Baby Leo's mum excluded from $500K trust 'for her own protection'

Samuel Forrest didn't want his wife as a trustee of their baby Leo's half million dollar trust for her own "protection", it has emerged.

Confirmed: men gain weight when they become dads

Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study

Carer investigated over washing machine photo posted 'for a laugh'

She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.

Mum's premature labour nightmare after high tea salmonella outbreak

An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.

The day my son started a fire

Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?

Prince George celebrates second birthday

Prince George's second birthday has been marked by the release of an official picture showing the toddler smiling as he is held by his proud beaming father.

Which beauty treatments are safe in pregnancy?

Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?

The five ways I know my 'baby' is no longer a baby

The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.

Review: Cybex Platinum PRIAM pram

I'm not usually one who believes in love at first sight but that's exactly what happened when I first saw the Cybex PRIAM.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Why I'm choosing to be a single mother right from the start

I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.

Mother and baby units are a necessity for mental health, not a luxury

I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.

30 French baby names

French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.

New mum's Spanish maternity nightmare

A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.

Preparing Rover to be a good dog with baby

Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?

Company offers to ship working mums' breast milk home

First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.

Prince William speaks of his pride at wife Kate and 'little joy of heaven' Charlotte

The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.

'Glowing' eye saves baby Mason's life

A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life. 

Parenting and decision overload

Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.

Proof that toddlers can't be left unsupervised - ever

Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!

Meet Jeremy Ryan, The Voice contestant with seven kids

If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.

Baby's adorable reaction to wearing glasses for the first time

Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.

Police officer buys supplies for family after mum of six caught shoplifting

When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.

Why pregnant women on antidepressants shouldn’t panic about birth defect claims

The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.

Arrests made over children's birthday party brawl

Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.

Family shares awesome drone baby announcement

Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.

Young warrior Owen defies doctors' predictions

Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old

Advice for dads: when to approach your wife for sex

The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.

I might be fat, but I don't need saving

I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.

The rookie mistakes we make as parents

Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.

 

FREE TICKET

See Pinky McKay live in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.