Jump to content

What does one do?
*updated on pg 2*


  • Please log in to reply
22 replies to this topic

#1 ihope82

Posted 18 November 2012 - 09:38 AM

Tv? Nope....friggin didn't know i was pregnant seems to be on every damn channel....

Housework? Where to even start.....

Walk dogs? Too depressed to get dressed...

Shop? See above...plus unhealthy fear of pregnant bellies and newborns....

Sit and mope...and feel every twinge, every ache of impending doom....is all I can seem to do...

Edited by ihope82, 20 December 2012 - 08:28 PM.


#2 Chelli

Posted 18 November 2012 - 09:42 AM

Hi there,
I have moved this topic to the miscarriage forum as there are some wonderful and supportive members who will understand what you are going through at the moment.

I am very sorry this is happening to you and I hope you are surrounded by lots of love and support.

Regards
Chelli

#3 ChunkyChook

Posted 18 November 2012 - 09:49 AM

I am so sorry you are going through this sad.gif

I just flaked on the couch all sad and sorry for myself. It had been a massive night and TBH I was still in a bit of shock I think (I had gone to the hospital with bleeding and they were just like "Yeah looks like you are losing the baby, go home and wait it out there is nothing we can do for you") Being naive I was just in shock that there was nothing they could do to try to stop it.

Do you have a favourite place? Somewhere peaceful you can just zone out and try to get through it?



#4 librablonde

Posted 18 November 2012 - 09:51 AM

Lay in bed with large amounts of comfort food, magazines, dvd's, sleep a lot, possibly after consuming a bottle wine... I'm so sorry OP  sad.gif  My heart goes out to you  sad.gif

#5 elmo_mum

Posted 18 November 2012 - 09:52 AM

play stupid mind numbing games on fb

bejewlled
rummycub

pogo games

#6 EsmeLennox

Posted 18 November 2012 - 10:06 AM

I would drink, eat and watch movies, as opposed to what I actually did which was hold a birthday party for a family member.

I am sorry you are going through this,

#7 Shellby

Posted 18 November 2012 - 04:15 PM

I actually went to work - I hadn't started bleeding yet and luckily my shift was only 5-9am and I didn't have to deal with anyone or customers so knew it was safe and used up my time. Then I had 3 days off, which I honestly did nothing but read books until most of it was over and then went back to work.

I am sorry you have to go through this time, and its even worse when you have to wait around for it. May the physical side be quick for you.

#8 Peta Feral

Posted 18 November 2012 - 04:26 PM

Wine. A whole bottle.

I'm so sorry you are going through this OP.

Edited by PetaSiddle, 18 November 2012 - 04:26 PM.


#9 ~kacee~

Posted 18 November 2012 - 04:28 PM

We went out for breakfast. Trouble is, it was a nice place, but now I can never go back there again.

Look after yourself. I'm sorry you're going through it.


#10 pinkchutney

Posted 18 November 2012 - 05:50 PM

I am so sorry and hope you are ok. I just shut down. I didnt force myself to do or see or talk to anyone if I didn't want to. But then I didn't have any support from DH. I got all my support from my online friends who had gone through the same thing, as I found noone around me knew how to help me or what to say.

Don't listen to anyone who tells you what you should think, or how you should react. You need to grieve. In your own way.

Just look after you.

#11 pinkchutney

Posted 18 November 2012 - 05:53 PM

.

Edited by pinkchutney, 18 November 2012 - 05:55 PM.


#12 GreenEyedGirl

Posted 18 November 2012 - 07:42 PM

Do whatever you feel you need to .... curl up in bed ... read, play mindless games, I am not too sure...whatever yuo do take care of yourself that's all.
*hugs*
think after my ectopic op and waiting for the major bleeding a lot of my time was spent in the shower sitting there crying or just walking around mindlessly ... neither of which I would recommend but if that is what you feel like doing then do it.
There is no right and wrong reaction at times like this....you just do whatever.

#13 nik_klinger

Posted 18 November 2012 - 07:54 PM

Sorry to read & big hugs,
I had to wait 4 weeks from when i was told there was no heartbeat at 8 weeks, and at 12 weeks i miscarried naturally which was what my obst wanted,
It was only in May but i can't tell you what i did to get through it, so obviously it's a blank,
i remember working, trying to keep busy and just an agonising wait, in the end it happened of an evening and i was only home with my DS who was already in bed, it was calm, painless and almost natural, it was the waiting that did my head in, so please be prepared for the wait and then the ... nothing, the sadness.
Recently I miscarried again, this time was different, I was pregnant, and then at six weeks my perios arrived and then i wasn't pregnant anymore. Still the feeling of nothing and then the sadness.
I wish you well in getting through it all xx

#14 aleksandrap

Posted 28 November 2012 - 01:12 PM

I don't have answers for you. I've been trying to get my mind off it by spending time with my mum and sister who have been amazingly supportive. But today I just wanted to stay home and am wandering around a little aimlessly. I have my d&c scheduled for tomorrow and I am petrified of ending this, even thought the constant reminder that my body still thinks its pregnant is really hard too. hugs to you and I'm so sorry for your loss xx

#15 hanz33

Posted 01 December 2012 - 06:34 PM

I'm having one now - I'm crying on essential baby and eating everything I denied myself.

#16 whisk_

Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:39 AM

I went out for a big lunch with my husband and drank copious amounts of wine at one point.  Then we stayed out all afternoon and went somewhere for dinner and I got horribly drunk and fell over a chair.  It didn't really help in the long run, but we spent a day together out and about and talked a lot about what was happening and he was patient when I cried or had to sit down from the pain.  It got me out of the house for a while.  We planned a holiday that we took after we lost the baby to get our minds focussed on something else.  That day is what I think about when I recall my first miscarriage, and now we laugh about the chair incident and other aspects of the day, and I don't focus on the terribly time of the miscarriage so much.  

My second miscarriage was a lot more painful than the first, and I had to wait for it to happen too.  I parked myself on the sofa and spent days watching the olympics.  Fortunately at that point there was something other than pregnancy on the tv, but if you can't find something, go and get some tv series on DVD and watch the whole thing in one day.  I read a lot of books, too - crime novels and things which did not have anything to do with babies.  

Look, there's not much that helps take your mind of waiting for the inevitable.  I found the old adage "keeping busy" was useful, but my heart wasn't in whatever I was doing as my mind drifted constantly.  My first miscarriage happened unexpectedly, so I didn't have to wait for it, but my second I knew was on the way and just had to wait for things to start.  I went to work in the waiting period, until it got too painful to bear and I went home for the aforementioned sofa time.  Work wanted to send me home but I knew I would stare at the walls and think too much.  

One thing I must urge you not to do is sit anywhere near a computer.  (After checking these replies, get offline quickly!).  Google did nothing to make me feel better.  I found miserable story after miserable story and it just caused me to get more depressed.  People with happy stories never seem to post them.  I think I must have wanted to torture myself though as I fixated on searching for things on google and in my dark days my searches got more negative.  It did nothing for my recovery or my mental health.  

I'm sorry you are going through this.  Miscarriage is cruel and lonely, and terribly unfair.  I can tell you though things do get better but it takes a while.  Some, longer than others.  Take your time and don't let anyone make you feel guilty for hating the world.  

Am always here if anyone wants to PM for a chat.


EDITED:  have just seen OP posted a little while ago.  Hope you are okay.  Have kept my reply here for the benefit of others in the same situation.

Edited by whisk_, 05 December 2012 - 11:40 AM.


#17 N@K

Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:50 AM

I read through all three of the Girl with a Dragon Tattoo books.
And I'm sure there was some horror / thriller / action movie watching involved - keeping away from mushy stuff

bbighug.gif  I am very sorry you are going through this OP

#18 Ferelsmegz

Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:32 PM

QUOTE (librablonde @ 18/11/2012, 07:51 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Lay in bed with large amounts of comfort food, magazines, dvd's, sleep a lot, possibly after consuming a bottle wine... I'm so sorry OP  sad.gif  My heart goes out to you  sad.gif


This...

QUOTE (PetaSiddle @ 18/11/2012, 02:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wine. A whole bottle.

I'm so sorry you are going through this OP.


And this....

I had to wait 2 weeks.

sad.gif Sorry this is happening to you OP.

#19 ihope82

Posted 20 December 2012 - 08:27 PM

Hi all,
I thought I should come back in and update...
Thank you so much for your kind replies & advice.
I'm relieved to say that this baby is still hanging in there....despite Drs telling me otherwise, and being hospitalised with severe pain / bleeding etc.
While I'm thankful for each day I still fear the very worst is just inevitable and I truly truly wish that none of us ever have to go through it.
I hope no one finds this upsetting .. If u do I'm truly sorry, I haven't meant to hurt anyone and I do completely understand the pain of loss.
I hope everyone has a peaceful and restful Christmas
Xo

#20 adl

Posted 20 December 2012 - 08:39 PM

Thanks for updating,....I read but didn't post originally....I think finding there's others , so many others  who understood makes it a little less lonely... And sharing can help whether now  or maybe later I wish you all the best for a happy outcome..be kind to yourself ..

#21 butterflyangels

Posted 20 December 2012 - 09:07 PM

So happy to hear bub is still hanging in there.

Hoping the rests of your pregnancy is uneventful, I know to well the heartache of loss after a loss is.

PM me is you are interested in joining the pregnancy after stillbirth facebook page.

Mandy

#22 Fillyjonk

Posted 23 December 2012 - 12:35 AM

Fingers and toes crossed for you. Sorry you had a scare... hopefully everything settles down and the rest of the pregnancy is boring.

Edited by with the goo goose, 23 December 2012 - 12:35 AM.


#23 Natttmumm

Posted 24 December 2012 - 12:20 PM

I have my fingers crossed for you. All the very best. Take it easy as you can


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

Baby for Asher Keddie and Vincent Fantauzzo

Fans followed every step of her on-screen pregnancy in Offspring, now Asher Keddie is going to be a mum in real life too.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong': the fight for Kaden's diagnosis

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reaction to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Empowering bikini photo of 46-year-old mum goes viral

When a group of teenagers made rude remarks about her body as she walked past them in a bikini at the local beach, Julie Cross refused to cover up.

Devastated widow discovers she's pregnant the day before husband's funeral

They had been trying to conceive a baby for seven years. Tragically Kristy Kirchner found out she was pregnant the day before her husband Royce's funeral.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Gabriella Goat sues Peppa Pig

Every toddler's favourite television pig is being sued by an Italian woman who shares a name with a Peppa Pig character.

Meet the Mpregs, the male pregnancy enthusiasts

"Men can't have babies - that's something only women can do! But our community is full of like-minded people who wish otherwise."

Your new motherhood survival kit

Forget about the bright, pretty baby things - while you're in survival mode, all you'll need are the essentials.

More than 100,000 cars recalled globally after death of pregnant woman

The announcement of a mass recall comes as Malaysian police investigate the death of pregnant woman in July.

I had a 'good baby' but still suffered from postnatal depression

I had a much wanted precious baby girl, a 'good baby' who slept well, self settled and was mostly content. It just seemed implausible to think I could succumb to depression.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

'It's not you, it's me': Boston bombing survivor mum to have leg amputated

Rebekah DiMartino is going through a break-up. She even wrote a farewell love letter. But it's not to her husband.

What it's like to go through early menopause

In a cruel twist, Carla had been breastfeeding and perimenopausal at the same time. But she's far from the only one to go through menopause early.

Restaurant served alcohol to two-year-old

Busy restaurants can be forgiven for getting food and drink orders mixed up from time to time, but not when the confusion leads to a two-year-old being served an alcoholic cocktail instead of the child-friendly beverage they ordered.

Julia Morris tells of miscarriage on a flight

Julia Morris has spoken about the devastation of suffering a miscarriage while on an international flight.

Woman's survival after birth 'a story of two miracles'

A US mother is home and tending to her new baby less than a month after surviving without a pulse for 45 minutes.

Eating ice may give mental boost to the iron deficient: study

A new study proposes that, like a strong cup of coffee, ice may give those with insufficient iron a much-needed mental boost.

Tiny lives in caring hands: Thank U NICU Day

Each year in Australia, over 40,000 newborns need the help of a special care nursery or neonatal intensive care unit. One day a year, the staff are honoured by the parents they help through those dark days.

I paid $50,000 to have a girl

This time my husband and I hadn't taken any chances. We had paid $50,000 and travelled 13,000 kilometres to make sure the baby growing inside me was female.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Dear firstborn, I'm sorry

Being a first-time mum is tough for so many reasons – particularly because you really have no idea what you're doing.

A trace of sesame could kill my son

Helen Richardson son's had two anaphylactic reactions in a month. It's traumatic for everyone.

When you know before the test says yes

It wasn't a pregnancy test or missed period that told me I was pregnant with my second baby; it was too early for those things. A doner kebab told me I was going to be a mum again.

What not to do when your partner is in labour

Robbie Williams stole the show during his wife Ayda's labour, pretty much demonstrating everything on the "what not to do when your partner is in labour" list.

Best maternity swimwear and beach cover-ups

Thinking about a tropical babymoon but have nothing to wear? Here are some great swimwear and beach cover-up options for mums-to-be.

'Chopstick Baby' born at 23 weeks

Given the nickname of 'Chopstick Baby' by local media, a baby born weighing 660g has survived a week outside the womb.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.