Jump to content

Kids choosing who is in their class?
Wrong or not?


  • Please log in to reply
46 replies to this topic

#1 Duechristmasday

Posted 17 November 2012 - 12:33 PM

Just interested.

My son in Prep was asked to write down 2 names of kids he would like to be in class with next year and also had to write 2 names of kids that he did not want to be in class with next year.

He told me who he wrote for the 2 he wanted and said that he cant remember who he wrote for the ones he didn't.  I asked him why and he said that he didn't dislike anyone, and he then said "but I had to put down two names".

What are others opinions about this?  I feel it is a little inappropriate.

#2 bakesgirls

Posted 17 November 2012 - 12:40 PM

I agree with you. It seems unfair to me to ask kids to pick their 2 favorite people and their 2 least favourite. I feel sorry for the kids that had no one put down their name at all. I think kids should be encouraged to try to find a way to get along, and accept everyone, not point out who they like least.

ETA- I know it doesn't always work out like that. I know some kids just don't get along for whatever reason. I still don't like the idea of naming people you don't want to be in class with. I think if there is an issue between kids, the teachers most likely know about it, or parents can make a request if being in a certain class with another child will be to their childs detriment.

There's also the fact that sometimes children are not very discreet. Its one thing for an adult to say they don't wish to work with someone. Chances are they won't go around letting everyone know. That would hardly be professional. Kids on the other hand, well, I can see some of them telling who they want and who they don't want. Discussing it with their friends. Choosing whatever friend is the flavour of the week. Being mean about it. Saying 'I don't want you in my class and I'm going to tell everyone to say they don't want you either' or words to that effect. How hurtful to that child.

Edited by bakesgirls, 17 November 2012 - 12:54 PM.


#3 fancie

Posted 17 November 2012 - 12:41 PM



There is no guarantee that whoever he has listed in the want or don't want will actually eventuate.  

I think it is quite an interesting strategy though.

Some children work well with some other children and some children don't work well together personality wise.



#4 Lyra

Posted 17 November 2012 - 12:41 PM

Teachers have a fairly good idea of who should go with whom the following year and an exercise such as this is good for confirming that your hunch is on the mark. Or wrong LOL

However, when I do things like this I would state: you don't have to write down a name if you don't want to

edited to clarify: each year it would be preferable that each child has at least one friend in the class they are going into. For PP other students don't get to see who chose whom IYKWIM  And, if a student doesn't have anybody choose them that is actually good for the teacher as it means that you might need to work a bit with that child on his/her social skills and keep an eye on them in the yard to see how they are interacting

Edited by Lyra, 17 November 2012 - 12:45 PM.


#5 Expelliarmus

Posted 17 November 2012 - 12:43 PM

Why is it inappropriate? I think asking kids how they feel is respectful and desirable.

#6 jenbi

Posted 17 November 2012 - 12:43 PM

My DS school always does this - but it is worded as who do feel you work best with rather than who do you like. It is quite surprising who they come up with - and its not always the best friends either!

I would imagine the Teachers wouldn't base the decision solely on the childs request so I don't really have a problem with it.

I do agree thought that having to name 2 kids you don't want to work with is not really necessary.

#7 *Lib*

Posted 17 November 2012 - 12:44 PM

What a logistical nightmare!

#8 Expelliarmus

Posted 17 November 2012 - 12:45 PM

QUOTE (jenbi @ 17/11/2012, 12:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I do agree thought that having to name 2 kids you don't want to work with is not really necessary.

Why? Why do we have a fear of kids telling us who they don't like? Why do we want to shut that voice down?

Sure, it might not be possible to accommodate, but giving kids a voice about it isn't wrong.

#9 Lyra

Posted 17 November 2012 - 12:48 PM

QUOTE (howdo @ 17/11/2012, 01:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why? Why do we have a fear of kids telling us who they don't like? Why do we want to shut that voice down?

Sure, it might not be possible to accommodate, but giving kids a voice about it isn't wrong.



I agree with this! I have worked with many adults that I would rather not work with and have requested that I don't work with a staff member again due to differences. Why should children also not have the same respect?

#10 Propaganda

Posted 17 November 2012 - 02:40 PM

I think it's quite horrible to be honest. Forcing children to consider which students they dislike the most in their class can hardly be a positive thing.

There would be children who would benefit from not having certain children in their class due to ongoing issues, but I imagine most of time the teachers would know who these children are, or at least the parents could go in and request that their child not be put in the same class.

I just don't think fingerpointing who you don't really like when you don't actually have strong feelings that way against anyone, is encouraging the wrong kind of thinking.


#11 Oriental lily

Posted 17 November 2012 - 02:56 PM

I agree it's horrible to pick this way.
What if a child has three favorites?
What if the children discuss who they chose?
Imagine if one child found out that a large percentage of kids picked them as not being wanted in the class.

Don't underestimate how much children would talk about ths. In theory it seems like a good practice if done anonymously.

Seems like it could result in all sorts of confrontations and feelings of rejection.

I imagine my dd who suffers anxiety would find it very difficult and confronting.


I don't mind the idea of a child picking five kids they like playing with and would like in their class. This gives the people planning classes gt the chance to make sure t least every child has one friend.

But the rigid two dislike and like is not something I am comfortable with.





#12 ~She~

Posted 17 November 2012 - 03:02 PM

Our school does the same except they can list 5 kids they wish to be with next year and are guaranteed one. We don't have the option of writing who we don't want though, I almost wish we did wink.gif

I think it's a great idea to encourage the kids continuing friendships, but I can't imagine it makes the schools job any easier.

#13 Julie3Girls

Posted 17 November 2012 - 03:41 PM

Our school does this.
Option of writing down 3 names of friends they would like to be in with.
They also have the option of writing down names of people who they don't want to be in a class with.

Both are OPTIONAL.

I have no problem with either. The kids know that it isn't a guarantee, although the school do their best to match them with at least ONE person on their list.

The names of people you don't want to be with .. I have no problem with this either. There are often social problems going on that the teachers aren't aware of . There might be a child that teases them a lot. Or simply someone that they find disruptive.
Again, no guarantees, but it's helpful information for the teachers when planning classes.

#14 Guest_zeus359_*

Posted 17 November 2012 - 04:07 PM

QUOTE (howdo @ 17/11/2012, 12:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why? Why do we have a fear of kids telling us who they don't like? Why do we want to shut that voice down?

Sure, it might not be possible to accommodate, but giving kids a voice about it isn't wrong.


er because kids change who they dislike and like hourly. Because kids as indicated in the OP, may just put down anyone that they don't play with at lunchtime for the kids they "dislike".  The OP's son is in prep,  hasn't even been in school for long enough to blink, let alone form deep and meaningful friendships.

#15 pencil

Posted 17 November 2012 - 04:07 PM

Ours do it, six they want to be with though, and no 'don't want to be withs'.

One of mine is already well aware that she will be separated from a certain child, but wrote down her name anyway! I look forward to a (hopefully) calmer year next!

#16 Alina0210

Posted 17 November 2012 - 04:20 PM

I have been the the deputy principal and requested a child to be with my DD, and also i have requested a child not be... already at 4yrs old she is a girl that all the girls want to be with and they talk about her constantly yet this girl is very much like a "Mean Girl"... argh at 4!!!....



#17 kpingitquiet

Posted 17 November 2012 - 04:29 PM

I think it's silly to ask young children because best friends and enemies can change with the wind. This week "I hate Tommy!" "Why?" "He took my crayon!" Next week, "Can Tommy come to my party??" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, he's my beeessst frieeend!"

Adults tend to be, though not without exceptions, a bit more solid in their judgement and rarely shift so quickly, in the case of co-workers etc.

#18 *Lib*

Posted 17 November 2012 - 05:15 PM

I know I have written to the school about requesting that my DD not be with 2 certain children, but I think giving children the power to decide who is with who is giving them way too much responsibility and power. What happened to turning up to school and finding out your class, and just dealing with it??? (Provided there is no issues with children) Children are given WAY too much responsibility since I was a kid.

#19 *Ker*

Posted 17 November 2012 - 05:27 PM

We have it at our school (with no limits on names for the yes and No's) but the parents fill it out. I do ask my kids who they would like to be in class with. DS wanted to be with his best mate, but I put him on the No list because they muck around too much.


#20 CallMeFeral

Posted 17 November 2012 - 06:03 PM

Awful.
I did have teachers do this to me, as a child, for who we'd like to sit next to in class, which was a bit more reasonable. Unfortunately the most annoying girl in the class refused to put down 3 names as requested, and just put ME (and obviously nobody put her), so I was stuck with here all year sad.gif

#21 0zeKid

Posted 17 November 2012 - 06:59 PM

Wow, my DD gets to write down three of her friends and they try and place the group together. Never been asked about the ones she doesn't like though!

I remember in school getting to write down names too. I recall in the 8th grade we managed to coordinate so that a group of 8 of us ended up in one class for the year - it was a great year original.gif

#22 brazen

Posted 17 November 2012 - 07:04 PM

i wish the school would send the names home for comment - this year 2 of my kids were placed in classes with no friends. when i questioned it i was told that they'd put X & Y on their lists and that's who they were with - but X & Y were kids that they were sometimes friends with, sometimes not, and had never had a playdate with etc etc!!! with emelia she hasn't been friends at all with X and with ryan we have had a year of being good friends with Y and then not wanting anything to do with him sad.gif

so while i like the idea in theory i think there should be more looking into it than just taking the child's word...

#23 liveworkplay

Posted 17 November 2012 - 07:21 PM

Our kids get to choose 5 people they would like to be in class with and are guaranteed one. I have no problem with the system and if they had to put who they would least like to be with  then so be it.

Edited by liveworkplay, 17 November 2012 - 07:22 PM.


#24 Ianthe

Posted 17 November 2012 - 07:24 PM

They've always done this at my kid's school. They know that it may not happen but I think it is nice they consider the kids in the decision.

#25 Princess.cranky.pants

Posted 17 November 2012 - 08:18 PM

PPs are making it out to be more than it is. It's done at DD's school and causes no issues.

I think it's a good thing. It took my DD half the year before she settled into grade 2. She had no friends in her class and found the transition very difficult. She was so unhappy that she was refusing to go to school. She wrote a story in class about how much she hated school and was going to run away so mummy wouldn't make her go.  sad.gif

DD's teacher said she feels it's important that students have at least one friend in their new class. With some kids (like my DD), the reassurance of a good friend in your class can really help with transtion.

I have had several meetings with the teacher this term about next year. The teacher feels that it's really important DD have a good friend with her and principle also agrees. I asked that she be put with child she loves with from another class and they have agreed. I am so relived because DD is going to so happy to be with S and she won't be so anxious when school starts.

So I struggle to see how it's a bad thing. And at DD's school they put down 5 names but the teachers know who is friends with who, what kids are a good mix and those that should be separated.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

Toddler freed after getting trapped in escalator

A shopping centre escalator needed to be pulled apart to free a toddler's trapped hand.

Why I'm kind of excited about my daughter's nits

Is it weird to say that I am secretly thrilled to find that my daughter Edie has nits?

Baby born at 10:11 on 12-13-14

Well, it's actually 13-12-14 to us over here. But still, Clare Elizabeth Keane's consecutive numerical birth time is pretty special.

On holding tightly and loving fiercely

We can't live in fear. This post is about Christmas and how at this time we should be celebrating life and grateful for what we have: our loved ones who we cherish fiercely.

Babies, relatives and coping with Christmas day

Everyone will love your baby but your baby may not be so happy to be passed around a lot of new people - nor may you want to feed with an audience.

Why I won't be posting pictures of my baby on Facebook

There are pros and cons to this policy.

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.