Jump to content

Kids choosing who is in their class?
Wrong or not?


  • Please log in to reply
46 replies to this topic

#1 Duechristmasday

Posted 17 November 2012 - 12:33 PM

Just interested.

My son in Prep was asked to write down 2 names of kids he would like to be in class with next year and also had to write 2 names of kids that he did not want to be in class with next year.

He told me who he wrote for the 2 he wanted and said that he cant remember who he wrote for the ones he didn't.  I asked him why and he said that he didn't dislike anyone, and he then said "but I had to put down two names".

What are others opinions about this?  I feel it is a little inappropriate.

#2 bakesgirls

Posted 17 November 2012 - 12:40 PM

I agree with you. It seems unfair to me to ask kids to pick their 2 favorite people and their 2 least favourite. I feel sorry for the kids that had no one put down their name at all. I think kids should be encouraged to try to find a way to get along, and accept everyone, not point out who they like least.

ETA- I know it doesn't always work out like that. I know some kids just don't get along for whatever reason. I still don't like the idea of naming people you don't want to be in class with. I think if there is an issue between kids, the teachers most likely know about it, or parents can make a request if being in a certain class with another child will be to their childs detriment.

There's also the fact that sometimes children are not very discreet. Its one thing for an adult to say they don't wish to work with someone. Chances are they won't go around letting everyone know. That would hardly be professional. Kids on the other hand, well, I can see some of them telling who they want and who they don't want. Discussing it with their friends. Choosing whatever friend is the flavour of the week. Being mean about it. Saying 'I don't want you in my class and I'm going to tell everyone to say they don't want you either' or words to that effect. How hurtful to that child.

Edited by bakesgirls, 17 November 2012 - 12:54 PM.


#3 Dowager fancie

Posted 17 November 2012 - 12:41 PM



There is no guarantee that whoever he has listed in the want or don't want will actually eventuate.  

I think it is quite an interesting strategy though.

Some children work well with some other children and some children don't work well together personality wise.



#4 Lyra

Posted 17 November 2012 - 12:41 PM

Teachers have a fairly good idea of who should go with whom the following year and an exercise such as this is good for confirming that your hunch is on the mark. Or wrong LOL

However, when I do things like this I would state: you don't have to write down a name if you don't want to

edited to clarify: each year it would be preferable that each child has at least one friend in the class they are going into. For PP other students don't get to see who chose whom IYKWIM  And, if a student doesn't have anybody choose them that is actually good for the teacher as it means that you might need to work a bit with that child on his/her social skills and keep an eye on them in the yard to see how they are interacting

Edited by Lyra, 17 November 2012 - 12:45 PM.


#5 Expelliarmus

Posted 17 November 2012 - 12:43 PM

Why is it inappropriate? I think asking kids how they feel is respectful and desirable.

#6 jenbi

Posted 17 November 2012 - 12:43 PM

My DS school always does this - but it is worded as who do feel you work best with rather than who do you like. It is quite surprising who they come up with - and its not always the best friends either!

I would imagine the Teachers wouldn't base the decision solely on the childs request so I don't really have a problem with it.

I do agree thought that having to name 2 kids you don't want to work with is not really necessary.

#7 *Lib*

Posted 17 November 2012 - 12:44 PM

What a logistical nightmare!

#8 Expelliarmus

Posted 17 November 2012 - 12:45 PM

QUOTE (jenbi @ 17/11/2012, 12:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I do agree thought that having to name 2 kids you don't want to work with is not really necessary.

Why? Why do we have a fear of kids telling us who they don't like? Why do we want to shut that voice down?

Sure, it might not be possible to accommodate, but giving kids a voice about it isn't wrong.

#9 Lyra

Posted 17 November 2012 - 12:48 PM

QUOTE (howdo @ 17/11/2012, 01:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why? Why do we have a fear of kids telling us who they don't like? Why do we want to shut that voice down?

Sure, it might not be possible to accommodate, but giving kids a voice about it isn't wrong.



I agree with this! I have worked with many adults that I would rather not work with and have requested that I don't work with a staff member again due to differences. Why should children also not have the same respect?

#10 Propaganda

Posted 17 November 2012 - 02:40 PM

I think it's quite horrible to be honest. Forcing children to consider which students they dislike the most in their class can hardly be a positive thing.

There would be children who would benefit from not having certain children in their class due to ongoing issues, but I imagine most of time the teachers would know who these children are, or at least the parents could go in and request that their child not be put in the same class.

I just don't think fingerpointing who you don't really like when you don't actually have strong feelings that way against anyone, is encouraging the wrong kind of thinking.


#11 Oriental lily

Posted 17 November 2012 - 02:56 PM

I agree it's horrible to pick this way.
What if a child has three favorites?
What if the children discuss who they chose?
Imagine if one child found out that a large percentage of kids picked them as not being wanted in the class.

Don't underestimate how much children would talk about ths. In theory it seems like a good practice if done anonymously.

Seems like it could result in all sorts of confrontations and feelings of rejection.

I imagine my dd who suffers anxiety would find it very difficult and confronting.


I don't mind the idea of a child picking five kids they like playing with and would like in their class. This gives the people planning classes gt the chance to make sure t least every child has one friend.

But the rigid two dislike and like is not something I am comfortable with.





#12 ~She~

Posted 17 November 2012 - 03:02 PM

Our school does the same except they can list 5 kids they wish to be with next year and are guaranteed one. We don't have the option of writing who we don't want though, I almost wish we did wink.gif

I think it's a great idea to encourage the kids continuing friendships, but I can't imagine it makes the schools job any easier.

#13 Julie3Girls

Posted 17 November 2012 - 03:41 PM

Our school does this.
Option of writing down 3 names of friends they would like to be in with.
They also have the option of writing down names of people who they don't want to be in a class with.

Both are OPTIONAL.

I have no problem with either. The kids know that it isn't a guarantee, although the school do their best to match them with at least ONE person on their list.

The names of people you don't want to be with .. I have no problem with this either. There are often social problems going on that the teachers aren't aware of . There might be a child that teases them a lot. Or simply someone that they find disruptive.
Again, no guarantees, but it's helpful information for the teachers when planning classes.

#14 Guest_zeus359_*

Posted 17 November 2012 - 04:07 PM

QUOTE (howdo @ 17/11/2012, 12:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why? Why do we have a fear of kids telling us who they don't like? Why do we want to shut that voice down?

Sure, it might not be possible to accommodate, but giving kids a voice about it isn't wrong.


er because kids change who they dislike and like hourly. Because kids as indicated in the OP, may just put down anyone that they don't play with at lunchtime for the kids they "dislike".  The OP's son is in prep,  hasn't even been in school for long enough to blink, let alone form deep and meaningful friendships.

#15 pencil

Posted 17 November 2012 - 04:07 PM

Ours do it, six they want to be with though, and no 'don't want to be withs'.

One of mine is already well aware that she will be separated from a certain child, but wrote down her name anyway! I look forward to a (hopefully) calmer year next!

#16 Alina0210

Posted 17 November 2012 - 04:20 PM

I have been the the deputy principal and requested a child to be with my DD, and also i have requested a child not be... already at 4yrs old she is a girl that all the girls want to be with and they talk about her constantly yet this girl is very much like a "Mean Girl"... argh at 4!!!....



#17 kpingitquiet

Posted 17 November 2012 - 04:29 PM

I think it's silly to ask young children because best friends and enemies can change with the wind. This week "I hate Tommy!" "Why?" "He took my crayon!" Next week, "Can Tommy come to my party??" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, he's my beeessst frieeend!"

Adults tend to be, though not without exceptions, a bit more solid in their judgement and rarely shift so quickly, in the case of co-workers etc.

#18 *Lib*

Posted 17 November 2012 - 05:15 PM

I know I have written to the school about requesting that my DD not be with 2 certain children, but I think giving children the power to decide who is with who is giving them way too much responsibility and power. What happened to turning up to school and finding out your class, and just dealing with it??? (Provided there is no issues with children) Children are given WAY too much responsibility since I was a kid.

#19 *Ker*

Posted 17 November 2012 - 05:27 PM

We have it at our school (with no limits on names for the yes and No's) but the parents fill it out. I do ask my kids who they would like to be in class with. DS wanted to be with his best mate, but I put him on the No list because they muck around too much.


#20 CallMeFeral

Posted 17 November 2012 - 06:03 PM

Awful.
I did have teachers do this to me, as a child, for who we'd like to sit next to in class, which was a bit more reasonable. Unfortunately the most annoying girl in the class refused to put down 3 names as requested, and just put ME (and obviously nobody put her), so I was stuck with here all year sad.gif

#21 0zeKid

Posted 17 November 2012 - 06:59 PM

Wow, my DD gets to write down three of her friends and they try and place the group together. Never been asked about the ones she doesn't like though!

I remember in school getting to write down names too. I recall in the 8th grade we managed to coordinate so that a group of 8 of us ended up in one class for the year - it was a great year original.gif

#22 brazen

Posted 17 November 2012 - 07:04 PM

i wish the school would send the names home for comment - this year 2 of my kids were placed in classes with no friends. when i questioned it i was told that they'd put X & Y on their lists and that's who they were with - but X & Y were kids that they were sometimes friends with, sometimes not, and had never had a playdate with etc etc!!! with emelia she hasn't been friends at all with X and with ryan we have had a year of being good friends with Y and then not wanting anything to do with him sad.gif

so while i like the idea in theory i think there should be more looking into it than just taking the child's word...

#23 liveworkplay

Posted 17 November 2012 - 07:21 PM

Our kids get to choose 5 people they would like to be in class with and are guaranteed one. I have no problem with the system and if they had to put who they would least like to be with  then so be it.

Edited by liveworkplay, 17 November 2012 - 07:22 PM.


#24 QueenIanthe

Posted 17 November 2012 - 07:24 PM

They've always done this at my kid's school. They know that it may not happen but I think it is nice they consider the kids in the decision.

#25 Princess.cranky.pants

Posted 17 November 2012 - 08:18 PM

PPs are making it out to be more than it is. It's done at DD's school and causes no issues.

I think it's a good thing. It took my DD half the year before she settled into grade 2. She had no friends in her class and found the transition very difficult. She was so unhappy that she was refusing to go to school. She wrote a story in class about how much she hated school and was going to run away so mummy wouldn't make her go.  sad.gif

DD's teacher said she feels it's important that students have at least one friend in their new class. With some kids (like my DD), the reassurance of a good friend in your class can really help with transtion.

I have had several meetings with the teacher this term about next year. The teacher feels that it's really important DD have a good friend with her and principle also agrees. I asked that she be put with child she loves with from another class and they have agreed. I am so relived because DD is going to so happy to be with S and she won't be so anxious when school starts.

So I struggle to see how it's a bad thing. And at DD's school they put down 5 names but the teachers know who is friends with who, what kids are a good mix and those that should be separated.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

What not to say to a new mum

Some phrases just pop out before you really think about them, but there are some things you should try to not say to a new mum.

Why I'm glad to be an indulgent granny

The phone calls started a couple of weeks ago. At about 5.30 each evening - if I am lucky - I will be greeted by a sweet, excited voice declaring: "'Allo Annie".

Is this the worst relationship advice ever published?

You sometimes have to wonder whether relationship/sex advice from magazines is designed to help or humiliate.

How you talk to your baby now can impact social skills later

People used to think that social skills were something kids were born with, not taught.

Three truths about C-section mums

Lately I've been thinking about the caesarean stories and the brave women who birth their children with strength and beauty.

Scientists predict when you should start a family

Scientists have calculated at exactly what age you need to start trying to get pregnant to have the best chance of realising your dream. 

Differently abled child

When 'protecting' a child is really a cover for judgement

Why are people so concerned for this happy child and his mother?

When toddlers have strange obsessions

When it comes to two-year-olds and birthday cakes there are a few requests that are usually at the top of the list. But a cake featuring a local personal injury lawyer?

When Mama Bear strikes

When we become mums, our instinct to protect our children and keep them safe from harm is so strong we're often likened to a Mama Bear protecting her cubs.  

Immunity boosters for kids

There are no guaranteed ways to avoid the dreaded winter illnesses completely, but there are ways we can boost our children's immunity.

Mum shares portrait of her proudly breastfeeding three-year-old

Jade Beall usually chooses to breastfeed her son, now 3, in private. This week, however, she shared portraits of her breastfeeding her preschooler.

Dealing with a toddler's morning tantrums

Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?

Child in suitcase 'could have died eight years ago'

A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.

MP breastfeeds baby during parliamentary session

An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.

My baby's first seizure

It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.

Portable pools 'more dangerous than permanent ones'

Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.

Heartbreaking moment mum kisses her one-week-old goodbye

At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.

The amazing Tee Pee bed and kid-friendly Frankie Bunk bed

These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.

The funny things kids say when you're pregnant

Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.

The real problem with having one child

In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.

Six-week-old baby found dead, believed stabbed

A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.

The fire hazard in more than 70,000 Australian homes

So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.

How having a baby can bring on OCD

We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.

IVF gender selection being considered for Australian parents

Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.

The best age to get married (according to the latest study)

Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Yes, you can get pregnant before your period returns post-baby

After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.

Fellow diner rewards mum after toddler's tantrum

Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown. 

IKEA begins massive safety campaign after two toddler deaths

Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.

Which beauty treatments are safe in pregnancy?

Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?

A dad's guide to hyperemesis

I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.

The five ways I know my 'baby' is no longer a baby

The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.

Woman adopts best friend's four daughters after cancer tragedy

Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.

Beaneasy: sweet nursery furniture with a twist

If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.

Confirmed: men gain weight when they become dads

Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study

Carer investigated over washing machine photo posted 'for a laugh'

She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.

The day my son started a fire

Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?

Mum's premature labour nightmare after high tea salmonella outbreak

An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.

The science of 'hangry': why some people get grumpy when hungry

Where does hanger come from? And why is it that only some people seem to get hangry?

What a baby with whooping cough sounds like

It's a heartbreaking video that anyone who has ever considered not vaccinating against whooping cough must see.

Couple's million dollar bill for premmie baby born on holiday

An Australian couple could face a medical expenses of more than $1 million after their baby boy was born three months prematurely while they were holidaying in Hawaii.

Coffee a day to keep disease at bay

Don't be surprised if your morning brew does more than wake you up. There's more to this magical elixir than you might think.

Why Prince George has 'two different looks'

Days out from Prince George's second birthday, his parents' tendency to dress him in classical style clothing has been revealed as a cunning ploy.

Husband films mum giving birth in moving car on freeway

An incredible birth video shows a mother delivering her own baby as her husband drives along a freeway in a vain attempt to reach hospital.

Breastfeeding while pregnant: is it safe?

Many women happily breastfeed well into pregnancy while others wean sooner; yet others continue to breastfeed both infants together. This is a personal choice.

Womb to world: transitioning your new baby

One minute they're contentedly snuggled in the sanctuary of their mum's tummy, and the next they arrive into an overwhelming reality of lights, cameras and action.

Gadgets

iSperm: the iPad home fertility test for men

A new gadget uses a tiny microscope and the camera on an iPad to calculate sperm count and motility.

The tiny twins who were strong from the start

I cried when a specialist told me at exactly 28 weeks that our twin boys would have to be born within 48 hours.

One day when I didn't know

Julia Watson, a mum of four young girls, was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer in December 2013. She shares her latest blog piece with Essential Baby. 

 

FREE TICKET

See Pinky McKay live in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.