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Facebook birth announcement - no visitors at hospital

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142 replies to this topic

#1 ChunkyChook

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:08 AM

Just wondering what everyone would think if the following appeared in their newsfeed or as a text on their phone.....

Micheal & Aimee are thrilled to announce the birth of Noah James born 4.46am this morning. Mum and bubs are doing great. We kindly request no visitors at the hospital and welcome you all to our 'open house' visits any time between 10am and 2pm on Sunday the 25th of November.

Applies to everyone except Grandparents.

Would you be peeved if Aimee was your sister? Or cousin. Or just not care.

#2 Lucrezia Borgia

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:11 AM

Maybe Aimee's sister got a phone call or something that said "please visit if you want, we just don't want everyone to come.." ...her cousin? No.

We've had friends request this....totally fine and understandable....

Eta...sorry...didn't see the last bit about it applying to everyone bar grandparents....yes, still fine though I reckon...it can be a tough time for some people...

Edited by Lucretia Borgia, 17 November 2012 - 10:13 AM.

#3 Halcyon~

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:12 AM

I wouldn't care.  I probably wouldn't bother with the open house either.  I would go and visit in a few weeks once the dust has settled.

Some people just don't reaiise that they aren't the first person to have a baby and they wont be the last, so there really isn't need to be precious

#4 zande

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:12 AM

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I had no visitors at hospital only my immediate family too. But I also didn't "announce" the birth, I called close friends and family that needed to know, others found out in due course. I also wouldn't have had an open house LOL, I arranged visits over the first couple of weeks we were home.

#5 boatiebabe

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:15 AM

I would be cool with that.

To be honest having visitors who came and camped out at the hospital for hours on end was a pain in the butt when I had my first. I was so so so tired.

Second time around I had much fewer visitors and it was lovely.

#6 Imaginary friend

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:16 AM

Seems reasonable to me - maybe sister can ask if she can come with the grandparents.

I am assuming Aimee does have a sister - or maybe it is grandparents only because there aren't any siblings or none living close by.

Cousins can just wait.

Anyway 25th Nov is only a week away - if parents want anyone to wait a week that doesnt seem too difficult.

#7 TillyTake2

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:19 AM

Wouldn't bother me. If I was the sister & we were close then yes it would bother me. I'd expect immediate family to be able to meet the baby first but everyone else can just suck it up! Cousins don't get any special treatment for us, personally I'd say they could wait.

Are you the sister? Or cousin?

Edited by TillyTake2, 17 November 2012 - 10:21 AM.

#8 Jeyamoo

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:20 AM

Sounds perfectly sensible to me

#9 ChunkyChook

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:21 AM

Yes Aimee has a sister who is having a melt down lol I can kind of see both sides though. But I have had a baby.

#10 causeway

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:21 AM

I think it is a fantastic idea and one Ill be using if we are lucky to have another baby. With DD, we were away from our family & we only had 2 visitors & that was enough... Especially after an emergency caesar. Next time Ill be in the thick of family & friends & Im not really keen on all and sundry seeing me post caesar and all bloaty. I plan on spending the week after discharge with my mum, before going home 5 hours away. People can come and visit then!

#11 Feral Becky

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:22 AM

I think it is a freakin great idea.

#12 sarahec

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:25 AM

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

#13 Pocahontas

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:25 AM

I would be offended if I was the sister and being lumped in with all and sundry for a general viewing at the open house.  Unless there are some personal issues going on, I think siblings should be allowed to see the baby as it's close family.  My SIL and her kids were in the birthing suite shortly after DSs birth which was probably a little soon but I wouldn't have excluded them from the hospital.

Counsins not so much unless they are very close.

#14 Feral_Pooks

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:29 AM

Perfectly reasonable, I wish I'd done similar.

#15 bikingbubs

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:29 AM

wouldnt bother me.  makes sense to do  a mass announcement rather than each person individually when they ask when they can visit

#16 Cacti

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:30 AM

I would be hurt if my sister said that without discussing it with me beforehand - I'd be wondering what I'd done wrong.

If this was a cousin or friend, I'd be happy and marking the open house on my calendar!

#17 MintyBiscuit

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:31 AM

If it was my sister and I found out via facebook rather than phone call or text, I'd be peeved. The visiting wouldn't bother me too much, because I was super strict with hospital visits so I can understand it from that perspective

ETA - I also think an open house with a one week old sounds like a recipe for disaster, and personally I'd be avoiding it and waiting a few weeks

Edited by HollyOllyOxenfree, 17 November 2012 - 10:32 AM.

#18 Betty_D

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:31 AM

I don't have an issue with the concept and we might even do something similar second time round.

BUT, I'm very close with my siblings and I would never lump my brother and sister with everyone else in that way. I would want them there. I also have a good enough relationship with them to be able to say "please go now" if I feel like they've overstayed their welcome at the hospital.

Depending on how close she is to her sibling, I can understand why the sister is upset.

#19 No girls here

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:33 AM

I'd be pretty disappointed if it was my sister, but cousins or friends I can't see a problem.

#20 Riotproof

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:34 AM

Honestly, it sounds fantastic.
How long is the average hospital stay now anyway? 2-3 days?

#21 Tarantara

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:35 AM

I would be pretty upset if my sister posted that and didn't even contact me personally to explain the reasons etc, and even moreso if she hadn't told me beforehand that was her intention.

Personally, I much preferred the idea of visitors in hospital anyway, since there was no need for me to be presentable, have my house presentable, have milk for cups of tea, prepare for an open house (cannot think of anything worse lol).

At the hospital, yes learning to be a mum was time consuming, but if people turned up mid feed or anything the midwives just fended them off to the coffee shop or something till I was organised and clothed.

#22 minidiamond

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:39 AM

Did the sister only find out via text / FB?
Are there other siblings on either side ?
I think it's a very reasonable request but I also think it would be reasonable, assuming the sisters get on well, for the new mum to let her sister know in advance.

#23 Bluie

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:40 AM

QUOTE (Pocahontas @ 17/11/2012, 11:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would be offended if I was the sister and being lumped in with all and sundry for a general viewing at the open house.  Unless there are some personal issues going on, I think siblings should be allowed to see the baby as it's close family.  My SIL and her kids were in the birthing suite shortly after DSs birth which was probably a little soon but I wouldn't have excluded them from the hospital.

Counsins not so much unless they are very close.

Totally agree with this.

#24 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:42 AM

Thats what I did, unfortunately people have no boundaries when it comes to a new baby, they have very little respect for the new parent trying to bond with baby, Mum trying to recover etc.  They think they have some sort of entitlement to see the baby the second it's born.
If people were more respectful then there wouldn't be a need for these types if messages.

#25 la di dah

Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:45 AM

As a cousin I wouldn't be offended at all. I have a LOT of cousins so therefore most of my cousins have a LOT of cousins and nobody wants to see all of them in the day after they had a baby.

I don't think I'd post the Facebook message myself but I wouldn't have to. Aunties and uncles and cousins would obey my family's natural law: nudge my MOM for details, not me. wink.gif

As a sister I'd let it go but I'd be really hurt. My sister would not do that to me, though. A future SIL might and I would have a little chin-quivering cry at home but I wouldn't yell at her or my brother.

I could never do that to my brother or my sister (or my BIL, for that matter, but I suspect he would find it messy and uninteresting - he's a rather persnickety 14 year old boy!)

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