Jump to content

WDYT about requesting which class
your child does or doesn't go into?


  • Please log in to reply
57 replies to this topic

#1 *Lib*

Posted 16 November 2012 - 05:17 PM

My daughter is in grade 2. She is just about finished the hardest of her 3 years at school. There is a clique of 4 of them and they are BFF's one minute, then they run away from each other and they are really nasty to each other. I'd like to respectfully request that my daughter not be in a class with them again next year. We've had issues all year, and I havne't got the emotional strength to help my daughter through another year of this. The kids have all been spoken to about it, my DD claims she is NEVER nasty....but we all know what kids are like Tounge1.gif

So I thought I might ask the head of jnr school for consideration when choosing classes. I never wanted to be one of those parents, always said I'd trust the school to worry about that and my DD would adjust to fit, but its so hard. We've had lots of issues getting her to go to school, and regularly coming home in tears.

We've tried to use this to teach her about not everyone being friends, but she just can't seem to distance herself from this group.....so mabye me getting involved will help.......

Do you think I should ask, or just leave it to chance?

Edited by *Lib*, 16 November 2012 - 05:20 PM.


#2 mum850

Posted 16 November 2012 - 05:21 PM

QUOTE (*Lib* @ 16/11/2012, 06:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My daughter is in grade 2. She is just about finished the hardest of her 3 years at school. There is a clique of 4 of them and they are BFF's one minute, then they run away from each other and they are really nasty to each other. I'd like to respectfully request that my daughter not be in a class with them again next year. We've had issues all year, and I havne't got the emotional strength to help my daughter through another year of this. The kids have all been spoken to about it, my DD claims she is NEVER nasty....but we all know what kids are like Tounge1.gif

So I thought I might ask the head of jnr school for consideration when choosing classes. I never wanted to be one of those parents, always said I'd trust the school to worry about that and my DD would adjust to fit, but its so hard. We've had lots of issues getting her to go to school, and regularly coming home in tears.

We've tried to use this to teach her about not everyone being friends, but she just can't seem to distance herself from this group.....so mabye me getting involved will help.......

Do you think I should ask, or just leave it to chance?


Definitely ask!! Totally reasonable.

#3 MsNorbury

Posted 16 November 2012 - 05:24 PM

I would ask.  My DD had similar issues last year and the teacher actually requested the girs be split up. I think in this case its perfectly reasonable.

#4 Tigerdog

Posted 16 November 2012 - 05:30 PM

I guess it depends on how severe it is and whether you think it actually strays into the territory of bullying for your DD.  Are the teachers actually dealing with the nasty behaviours as they occur?  I would expect that they would be doing so, and fairly for all concerned.

It's good that you're using this as an opportunity to teach social skills and I agree that it's easier said than done.  It's easy to tell a child to just stay away from the nastiness but we forget what it's like to be a kid and to just want to be accepted, if they've been on the outer for a while then get shown some interest again of course a child is going to gravitate back toward the group.

I agree with PP, put it in writing, that way they need to respond rather than try to just brush it off.

Edited by Tigerdog, 16 November 2012 - 05:31 PM.


#5 Guest_CaptainOblivious_*

Posted 16 November 2012 - 05:31 PM

I don't see that as quite in the same category as I want/don't want X teacher.

We requested separate days at preschool for DD1 and her 'best friend'.  They were going to different schools in the long run and the friend was very controlling and manipulative. We had concerns about DD1's ability to make friends with the BF on the same day.

They went different days, made new friends and lived happily ever after.

I think in your DDs case, I would make sure the teachers knew about the issue and that you'd be happy for her to be given the opportunity to make new friends.

#6 Puffin

Posted 16 November 2012 - 05:32 PM

I would ask. My MIL is a retired principal and her thoughts on parents asking were that as a principal you would rather parents be on your side so to speak and have an enjoyable year, rather than having to deal with frustrated parents all year. So if at all possible to grant a parent's request regarding which class, then she would - obviously there were times when this couldn't happen for whatever reason, but she would always try.

So I guess that' a long way of saying yes, ask. You've got nothing to lose and lots to gain.

#7 *Lib*

Posted 16 November 2012 - 05:33 PM

QUOTE (Tigerdog @ 16/11/2012, 05:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I guess it depends on how severe it is and whether you think it actually strays into the territory of bullying for your DD.  Are the teachers actually dealing with the nasty behaviours as they occur?  I would expect that they would be doing so, and fairly for all concerned.

Their teacher is a first year male teacher dealing with 4 b**chy little girls. He's actually been really good with them.

#8 jewel2

Posted 16 November 2012 - 05:33 PM

Hubby is a primary teacher and he has always said that quite a few parents request a class or specific teacher for the next year.

School usually tries to accomodate requests if they can.

So I would contact the principal or deputy principal to make the request. Class teachers dont make the final decision.

J

#9 *Lib*

Posted 16 November 2012 - 05:34 PM

QUOTE (CaptainOblivious @ 16/11/2012, 05:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think in your DDs case, I would make sure the teachers knew about the issue and that you'd be happy for her to be given the opportunity to make new friends.

Ohhhh thats good!!!! Thank you!  original.gif

Edited by *Lib*, 16 November 2012 - 05:35 PM.


#10 Tigerdog

Posted 16 November 2012 - 05:39 PM

QUOTE (*Lib* @ 16/11/2012, 06:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Their teacher is a first year male teacher dealing with 4 b**chy little girls. He's actually been really good with them.


Then yes, if you feel all options have been explored re. dealing with the behaviours (which don't seem to sit with one child in particular but more the interactions within the group), then I'd definitely go ahead and make the request.

My DS1 (who is 4) and his cousin of the same age go to the same daycare, his mother and I have decided to send them to different schools and preschools from next year as they have a tendency to gang up on other kids when together (they also see each other a lot out of daycare).  When they're on their own with other kids they're fine.  Same at swimming lessons, they didn't get anything out the classes as they mucked around so we only had them together for one block, it was separate groups after that!

Edited by Tigerdog, 16 November 2012 - 05:57 PM.


#11 Ferelsmegz

Posted 16 November 2012 - 05:49 PM

Definately ask.

I did - but they had already decided to seperate my DS and his friend as they just messed around all day!

#12 *Lib*

Posted 16 November 2012 - 05:53 PM

Well, I bit the bullet and sent an email off....can't hurt to try eh?

#13 SkyeMummy

Posted 16 November 2012 - 06:00 PM

OP I could have written your post word for word apart from the fact that it is just 2 girls - my DD and another.

I have done exactly that. Put it in writing addressed to the Principal. I named names - which of course you have to if you want them separated, but did not get into nitty gritty about behaviour, just that the 2 girls had been together for the first 3 years of their schooling and as their personalities are developing they are tending to clash and it is becoming a problem. I explained that I am encouraging my daughter to resolve her own problems and learn some resilience and of course I know there are 2 sides to every story. My own DD has had a fair bit to deal with this year and I am just trying to help her cope with everything a little without getting directly involved.
I hope this gets her in a separate class to the other girl next year.

#14 Chocolate Addict

Posted 16 November 2012 - 06:00 PM

I did last year. And would do it again if need be. Our school gives us a few weeks to put in class requests for the next year (closed today). They don't guarantee they will do as you asked but will try their best.


(PS - your sig is huge and is putting the whole page out, at least for me, anyway) original.gif



#15 *CalamityJane*

Posted 16 November 2012 - 06:02 PM

Our school is quite specific that they will not accept requests for particular classes.  In fact they put several notices in the school newsletter that all requests will be binned.  Their reasoning is that the requests are rarely for educational reasons.  (They do make an exception for multiple births - we get asked our  preferences for same or separate classes).  

However, the teachers have input and I know that if I spoke to DDs' teachers about reasons for putting them in classes with or without certain children they would definitely take that into consideration when making their recommendations.  It might be worth speaking to your DD's teacher as well in case your school has a similar approach.

#16 FeralProudSwahili

Posted 16 November 2012 - 06:04 PM

I'd definitely ask.

#17 Dionysus

Posted 16 November 2012 - 06:05 PM

As a Head of School, I am happy to deal with parent requests re classes - home groups in my case, as I deal with seniors

Often, I have already been thinking about which groups to split up  original.gif



#18 SkyeMummy

Posted 16 November 2012 - 06:05 PM

Just saw your update about the email OP. I would put it in writing as well and hand a copy to Principal. They get hundreds of emails a day and I would hate to see your email get missed.

#19 somila

Posted 16 November 2012 - 06:05 PM

Up until this year we were encouraged to submit class placement requests, but now it has been vetoed (new principal).  Having said that I would still raise this as it is a specific issue, not  "I want teacher x".

#20 Julie3Girls

Posted 16 November 2012 - 06:09 PM

I would put it writing.

Explain that there have been a lot of social issues which have been causing a lot of problems this year. That you think it would be preferrable for her to have the opportunity to develop new friendships away from these girls.
Be specific. Use names.
And don't make out your child is the angel, make it clear the problems have been between all the girls, and you would prefer them to seperated if possible.



#21 *Lib*

Posted 16 November 2012 - 06:10 PM

QUOTE (Chocolate Addict @ 16/11/2012, 06:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
(PS - your sig is huge and is putting the whole page out, at least for me, anyway) original.gif

Sorry someone told me that yesterday and I thought I had shrunk it.......will go fix it now. Thanks

#22 JustBeige

Posted 16 November 2012 - 06:30 PM

QUOTE (Ibea @ 16/11/2012, 06:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Totally fine.

I'd write to the school rather than speak to them so the message gets tot the right person and just say you want to draw their attention to the ongoing issues and request they take that into consideration when planning next years classes. If you phrase it like that you can just be a concerned parent rather than being a "one of those" pushy parents.

This is the way I would approach it also.

#23 elmo77

Posted 16 November 2012 - 07:23 PM

At the school I work at, the teachers ask the kids for some friendship group suggestions...might be an idea for you to talk to your DD about who else (other than the kids you're concerned about) she'd like to be with.  We also have a staff meeting where classes are put together with other teachers of the grade, taking into account behaviour, special needs, spread of abilities, friendship groups that work (or perhaps don't), etc.

You might find too that your DD's teacher is thinking the same as you.  I would also talk to them about it...sometimes it's nice for us teachers to get the requests as well as the execs or principal.  Depends on who is doing the organising of the classes though I guess :-)

#24 Expelliarmus

Posted 16 November 2012 - 07:31 PM

I'm so glad you did. 4 b**chy little girls? Oy Vey.

Why no, I haven't ever encountered the energy sucking draining vortex that is 4 b**chy little girls at all - why do you ask? Tounge1.gif

They are probably already thinking it - a parent request adds weight and makes it closer to happening IMO.

#25 CupcakeMumma

Posted 16 November 2012 - 07:35 PM

Definitely ask, whilst I'm not in the camp of asking for specific teachers, I think a request like this is more than reasonable and I'm pretty sure you'll find that your request will be accepted, provided they have enough rooms to split them up.  

We can discuss with our principal any concerns we have such as this and they try very hard to help us.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

An open letter to Tony Abbott: please salvage our super

We face financial ruin, but most of us don?t realise it. If we don?t act together to salvage our superannuation, I have no doubt the new GFC will be the Girls? Financial Crisis.

'I'm happy to know I'm changing lives': surrogate mum of two

I know that once the baby is born, I will focus on the gift I have given, and watch the parents with their new child. I can't wait for that day.

Birth trauma and the issue of informed consent

There is a perception that women should just be happy they have a healthy baby in their arms. But for women who experienced birth trauma, there's a lot more to it.

Tips for managing pollen allergies and hayfever

They're simple tips, but they can have a big impact on those who suffer from hayfever and pollen allergies.

Ada Nicodemou shares tribute to her stillborn baby

Just over one month since Ada Nicodemou and her husband lost their second son, the Home and Away star has shared a touching poem for her baby.

Mum causes stir breastfeeding on train

?To the woman breastfeeding her kid on the train. Seriously! On the train?" began the letter of complaint.

10 things they don?t tell you about being pregnant

As I slowly waddle my ever-changing pregnant body towards the finishing line of my due date, it?s becoming increasingly clear there are a lot of things they just don?t tell you about pregnancy.

Overcoming a fear of the dark

A toddler's fear of the dark is very normal, but there are ways parents can help children through this stage in their development.

Kids, TV and movies: how young is too young?

It seems you don't have to throw the TV and iPad out the window - it all boils down to moderation, supervision and interaction.

Video: Baby's first birthday is a special day for mum, too

?A baby?s first birthday is also mum?s first birthday.?

The day Supernanny came to tea

Prince William's favourite celebrity child trainer Jo Frost puts Bryony Gordon and her toddler through their paces.

The words I hated hearing as new mum

It was less than a week after my son was born that I first heard it - from my mother.

To the pharmacist who sold me baby formula

On the rare occasion I catch sight of you at school, or around town, I think back to our earliest exchange. I?m sure you have no recollection of it at all.

Babies may benefit from autism therapy

Children showing signs of autism don't usually receive early intervention until well into toddlerhood or later, but a new study suggests infants with symptoms of the developmental disorder might benefit from therapy from as early as six months.

Knatalye and Adeline born with an everlasting bond

Knatalye Hope and Adeline Faith are a lot like any other identical twin girls, but there is one dramatic difference: they're joined at the chest and shares several internal organs.

The question this dad wishes he'd asked his wife

I should have seen that my wife wasn't the same person I'd fallen in love with, but we were both too focused on simply trying to get by.

Why we should talk about the deaths of the Hunt children

The deaths are too horrible even to think about. Yet we owe it to the children - Fletcher, Mia and Phoebe Hunt - to think long and hard about it all.

Baby dies of meningococcal weeks after vaccine application denied

A six-month-old girl has died from meningococcal disease just weeks after an application for government funding of a vaccine for the most deadly strain of the virus was rejected.

Finding the right balance when playing with your kids

Being too involved in our children?s play and not allowing our kids enough free time for unstructured activities can mean our kids miss out on the value that play offers.

Creative DIY light shades

The Pop Light light shade comes in a flat pack already made - it's up to you to design it as you'd like.

The battle of iParenting versus imagination

Have we forgotten how to be imaginative, resourceful parents?

Why movement is so important for your baby's growth

Letting your child move as much as possible in the early years ? using all senses, engaging in the real world, preferably outside ? will help them grow up healthier, smarter, calmer and stronger.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

Dying mum saves baby with last breath

Dying from a gunshot wound, Jessica Arrendale used the last of her energy to hide her baby from her killer.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Reader offer

2 FOR 1 TICKET OFFER

For Shopping, For Advice, For Baby & You. Enjoy a special day out with fabulous shopping from over 200 brands, leading parenting experts offering advice on a range of topics, and amazing children?s entertainment

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.