Jump to content

Changing surnames


  • Please log in to reply
12 replies to this topic

#1 Ianthe

Posted 15 November 2012 - 04:40 PM

Does anyone know how complicated it is to change a child's surname? Do you need the other parent's permission?

My kids have been asking if my husband and I divorce would I start using my maiden name. I said I didn't know but possibly. I have all brothers so all of 'my' family have the same surname. One has now asked if we could hyphenate our two surnames. I cannot imagine my ex will like that idea at all but anyone know how complicated it is?

And is having a double barrelled surname a pita?

#2 julia*v

Posted 15 November 2012 - 04:46 PM

I am pretty sure if the children are under 18 you need both parents to sign the 'change of name' form.

You change your name legally through Births, Deaths and Marriages - so look up the one for your state to see each of the rules.

It is a very easy process. I think it costs about $150 (in WA) to complete.

#3 ~Mintie~

Posted 15 November 2012 - 07:51 PM

As PP's said you would need his permission as well as ID from him. If you can't get that you need a court order that specifies you can change the names. The cost is $166. It's not a complicated process as long as you can meet the ID requirements, but takes about 6 weeks to complete.

#4 Feral Madam Mim

Posted 16 November 2012 - 01:40 AM

I THINK you don't need permission if you have been out of contact with the father for 2years? Don't quote me on this as I could be very wrong, but I think I heard it somewhere.

#5 JustBeige

Posted 16 November 2012 - 05:29 AM

QUOTE (mad madam mim @ 16/11/2012, 02:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I THINK you don't need permission if you have been out of contact with the father for 2years? Don't quote me on this as I could be very wrong, but I think I heard it somewhere.

Yep. I 'think' also you have to be unable to contact him. I remember a conversation with a mum going through this a couple of years ago.  She had the added stress of trying to get them passports too.


BD&M will be able to tell you.

#6 idignantlyright

Posted 16 November 2012 - 05:37 AM

We started using DH's surname at school for eldest DD, and at the doctors. So her file had written on it her new name, but her birthname was also there. It helped when she wanted to change it properly later.

#7 wombat

Posted 16 November 2012 - 05:52 AM

My DD has a double barrel surname and does not find it a problem.  As for whether you need your ex to agree I'm not sure, but I do know that years ago my cousin changed her kids names to hers and her ex objected, but it was allowed as both the kids were adamant they wanted to same name as thier mum.  Not sure of the process to make that happen however.

#8 FeralRebelWClaws

Posted 16 November 2012 - 10:29 AM

When my parents split up, I hypenated my name. My Mum went back her maiden name because she was her Dad's only child, and he was an only child etc.

However, my Dad refused to sign the form. So until I was 18 I was legally unhyphenated. However, back then (in the 90s) we just told the school I wanted to be known with the hypenated name and then used my school report to change my bank account. Though my learners license was in the unhypenated name because that is what my birth certificate and medicare card said. My HSC and university enrolment was in the hypenated name, and I changed it legally when I turned 18 in the January before starting Uni.

TBH having a hypenated name does make it a lot more complicated for me, but I also have an unusual and difficult to spell first name.

I'm glad I did it for my mother though. However I will be changing my surname to my fiances surname when we are married in April.

#9 Giota

Posted 16 November 2012 - 10:46 AM

I have just done this. You can either get your ex to sign the papers or go to court.

The courts look at what is in the best interest of the child. If the child resides 100% with you, it would be more beneficial for the child to have the same name as the custodial parent. If it is shared care, and the children are already at school, the courts will be more reluctant to make the change.

PM if you want more details as I have just changed my daughters name.

#10 Curly Wurly

Posted 16 November 2012 - 12:00 PM

My mother changed my name (not legally) to my stepfathers.  I resented it. To me it was robbing me of my identity without my consent. When I turned 18yrs old the first thing I did was change everything back to my real name.

#11 FiveAus

Posted 16 November 2012 - 12:28 PM

Keep in mind the kids can use whatever name they like. It then becomes their "preferred name", and the one they were born with stays their legal name.

My youngest daughter used her stepfathers last name from when she started high school. She barely knew her father, we had separated and divorced when she was very small, and he had moved overseas, so she felt no obligation to continue to use his name, and she didn't particularly like it anyway.

For various reasons she decided she wanted to use her stepfathers name, and she just started using it. It's not legal, her real name still appears on her drivers license and her passport, but right through high school she was known by her stepfathers name, she joined various clubs with that name and all of her friends knew her as that name.

#12 Phascogale

Posted 16 November 2012 - 01:49 PM

QUOTE (Curly Wurly @ 16/11/2012, 12:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My mother changed my name (not legally) to my stepfathers.  I resented it. To me it was robbing me of my identity without my consent. When I turned 18yrs old the first thing I did was change everything back to my real name.

This is exactly how I felt/feel. When you are 9 and have a hard to spell eastern European name you jump at the chance to have a short Aussie name.  And initially i thought it was great. But as I got older I resented it more and more.  I didnt change my name back though I really wanted to because then my mum would see it as a slight to her and it wasn't worth the drama. I knew I would change my name when I got married but I really felt for my dad as my brothers name was changed too.

I wouldn't change the name officially and just use a preferred name and your child can change it when they are 18. But it does depend on the  circumstances of why you broke up. Even if there is no contact now the child may want it later.

#13 Luckyseven

Posted 16 November 2012 - 02:28 PM

When I separated from my X, our DD wanted to change her name to my maiden name that I had reverted back to, her and her dad did not get along and she hated having his surname (she was 11) I looked into changing her name and yes you can do it if you have the fathers permission and it does cost a bit but my X was very hurt by her wanting to change her name so I respected that and so did she in end so she has kept her dads name as have her little brothers.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Mums reveal their nappy bag essentials

Ever wondered what other mums carry in their nappy bags? We have, so we asked mums to tell us their must-have nappy bag items.

Toddler died because he wasn't given antibiotics soon enough

A 15-month-old boy would almost certainly be alive today if doctors had given him antibiotics sooner, a coroner has ruled.

VIDEO: moment a toddler falls on to train tracks in Melbourne

Shocking footage has emerged capturing the moment a pram carrying a toddler rolled off a platform and onto train tracks in suburban Melbourne.

Sold on natural birth? Read the fine print

In the excitement and anticipation of a first pregnancy, I ignored the fine print: some women, some of the time.

Child with alcoholic mum who drank while pregnant won't win pay-out

A young child is not entitled to criminal injuries compensation after her mother drank excessively while pregnant.

Superbugs killing India's babies, posing wider threat

A deadly epidemic that could have global implications is quietly sweeping India, tens of thousands of newborns dying because antibiotics no longer work.

Can you teach a toddler to sleep in?

Parents share their tips on getting their early risers to sleep in, even for just a little bit longer.

Keeping your relationship on track as new parents

About 70 per cent of couples experience a slump in their relationship within three years of having a baby. Here's how we tried to get back on track.

America's favourite baby names of 2014

Americans are turning to television, Netflix and sports for ideas for what to name their wee ones.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.