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Is it too much to ask
8 replies to this topic
Posted 14 November 2012 - 11:27 PM
Is it too much to ask that when I ask my MIL to babysit, that the kids are in bed on time (or close to it). It was 9 pm when I got home and both my 20 month old and my 4 yr old are still awake, extremely overtired and need to be woken at 6am tomorrow for day care.
I know I was asking a favor, but she is well aware that I suffer with anxiety and my DH works FIFO, and so I run a strict routine so I am able to cope.
Posted 14 November 2012 - 11:30 PM
I would say its not too much to ask - but maybe the kids were too much for her to put to bed?
I know my mum struggles with my nephew as she can't be tough with him so she just does the naughty nanna thing and caves in to let him stay up and spend time with her!
6am will be tough, but at least you get to drop them to daycare to deal with then!
Posted 14 November 2012 - 11:36 PM
and sometimes little ones think it's a great game to disobey their grandparents and want the play time to continue.
Posted 14 November 2012 - 11:44 PM
My mum is the same. She's an absolute push over when it comes to her grandchildren. They just have to make up excuses to not go to bed, start playing with her or cry and she just crumbles. She always says it's her job as their grandmother to spoil them. Sometimes her reasoning about spoling them annoys me, but most of the time I'm OK with it. She is after all doing me a favour by having them.
As a PP said, perhaps she had trouble getting them to sleep and it was easier on her to just go with the flow?
Posted 14 November 2012 - 11:52 PM
Perhaps she can manage dinner and bath, but not getting them to stay in bed? If that's the case, she could be sitting quietly with them until you get home (no tv, no games, no lollies), if that isn't too bad an alternative.
Then all you have to do is put them into bed and they should hopefully zonk out.
It's not ideal, I know, but at least gives you a better chance of settled overtired children, instead of hyped up (perhaps full of sugar) ones.
ETA: I mean this kindly; when you need help, sometimes you can only take what's on offer with good grace. It may in fact be too much to ask to have it exactly as you want it, but there are ways of working together with your MIL to achieve something that is manageable for you both - and keeps your kids in good hands.
I wish you the best of luck in working through this with your MIL.
Edited by poss71, 14 November 2012 - 11:57 PM.
Posted 15 November 2012 - 12:03 AM
I understand what you are saying poss1, I guess it's just frustrating to know my kids will go to sleep for my mum, my grandad, their babysitter and yet won't go for her.
Posted 15 November 2012 - 05:33 AM
I'm of the opinion that if someone looks after your kids just be greatful. My mum often can't get my kids to bed when she looks after them when I work and I come home at 9.30pm to them awake. Yes it is frustrating but I couldn't work if she didn't have them so I smile and thank her.
Posted 15 November 2012 - 05:42 AM
I'm a little bit in the way be thankful she does it for you, if I had the help whilst its annoying and would have been nice for them to be tucked up in bed asleep I probably wouldn't be complaining about it. Sorry..
Posted 15 November 2012 - 06:31 AM
Nope, its not too much to ask. Its not like you're demanding an advanced manouvre from her.
If she tried all she could and it didnt work out for her, then I'd be understanding. IF she just blatently disregarded your instructions and did her own thing I'd be p*ssed too.
Its also possible for the OP to be grateful that the MIL is looking after them and annoyed that the kids are still up at the same time.
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Q: My mother and I have always been close, but now that I have a baby, she has not helped out as much as I thought she would.
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