Jump to content

Temperamental nearly 4 year old


  • Please log in to reply
12 replies to this topic

#1 SashaN

Posted 14 November 2012 - 08:13 PM

Hi girls my DS is 4 in two weeks his always been a bit temperamental compared to other children I see and not so temperamental as others but the last month his began to get this aggressive streak and now gets quite aggressive when playing with his father and it turns into unacceptable behaviour.

He can  be happy one minute then the next have a meltdown.

I have heard and read about boys getting like this around 4 due to maybe a testosterone surge so not sure if this is true or this is why.

He also is so naughty and so defiant with discipline he does not respond to time out (never worked for him) and to put him in his bedroom he will try and kick the door we are in a semi so have adjoining walls to next door and they have a young bub so i am concious of him making too much noise so i have to open it so this does not work.

I m also worried that this means his going to be temperamental all his life my husband and i are very or were usually calm people and hate conflict.

Has anyone else had a DS/DD around this age act like this and grow out of it to be calmer once they reached 5 or started school?

Sasha

#2 Missy Shelby

Posted 14 November 2012 - 08:18 PM

I will be stalking for replies wink.gif I am in the same boat as you atm op!!

#3 spando

Posted 14 November 2012 - 08:22 PM

I'm stalking as well

#4 imamumto3

Posted 14 November 2012 - 08:24 PM

sounds like my dd.  she has improved in the last week.  we have been doing the fed up diet, although not strictly, I think it has helped

#5 Angelina Ballerina

Posted 14 November 2012 - 08:25 PM

I think my 3.5 DS is going through this too. I had wondered if it was a developmental stage.

#6 Missy Shelby

Posted 14 November 2012 - 08:28 PM

Nice to know that we are not the only parents dealing with this!!

#7 wallofdodo

Posted 14 November 2012 - 08:39 PM

4 in Jan, while not exactly the same,  we have got a lot of yelling, and kicking when things don't go his way. Aggressive, but not physically like you described with playing.

he has been this way for a few months now, and I feel we are getting a handle on it. Lots of talk about being frustrated and angry. And how there are better ways to deal with these emotions.

Actually the turn around was when a friend's son piffed a trainat his head. He got really upset and asked why he did it. I explained that friend was just a bit angry and frustrated, and how he was feeling,  is how I feel when he kicks or yells at me.

So I don't think it is an indication of personality but just a stage that needs more management, and maybe a two year old to throw trains!! Haha. Hope I don't eat my words!

#8 my serenity

Posted 14 November 2012 - 08:46 PM

I call 4 in boys the dark side (10 isn't  pleasant either) and have told many s friend this it passes just be consistent in punishments.  some days/weeks worse than others .

#9 Hootabelles

Posted 14 November 2012 - 09:13 PM

Same here with my DD who is 4 in a month.  She has always been a bit more of a 'challenging' child.
We are also in an old Victorian so I am surprised that Docs haven't turned up yet (yet being the operative word wink.gif )

I have changed myself a bit as I started to lose it with her.  Now I count to 10 and go to her and give her a big cuddle  (try anyway)_ and get her to count with me.  Sometimes she hits out at me, other times she slumps in my arms defeated & crying out how tired she is.
I just feel consoled in knowing she isn't the only one.  I am probably at the lowest point I have ever been with her.  I'm on executive b for the stress and don't go anywhere without my Rescue remedy for me either!
We had a park play with kinder kids today and she had a total meltdown kicking and screaming.  SHe hit out at me and I picked her up and took her away.  The anger in me was beyond anything I have felt and was in tears.  I sat her down and held her in my arms. When she calmed down we talked and I waited a few minutes to go back and she was fine.
It's like she hits this crescendo where you cannot go near her and then if you can catch it the right time (along with a few hits along the way sadly) then I find I can get her to calm...but it is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with.  It is disheartening and sometimes I wonder what I have done wrong.
Ok...I have just hijacked so sorry.  I think I am just letting out some pent up feelings....
Hope it gets better for you OP..I wish I knew the answer to this behavior but know you are not alone and it is definitely not only boys!!

#10 SashaN

Posted 15 November 2012 - 06:05 AM

Hi girls thanks for all your posts its good to see we are not the only one going through this trying stage and also its not just boys as well.

I hope we all find this stage ends quickly and does not go on for too long.

Bubba08 hang in there i have had days where i have had tears or felt like tears then days that are wonderful they seem to go up and down and yes i agree to when tired and hungry it escalates.

As Angelina Balerina said prob a developmental stage.

hugs to all

Sasha

#11 Mum2TwoDSs

Posted 15 November 2012 - 06:23 AM

QUOTE (SashaN @ 14/11/2012, 09:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi girls my DS is 4 in two weeks his always been a bit temperamental compared to other children I see and not so temperamental as others but the last month his began to get this aggressive streak and now gets quite aggressive when playing with his father and it turns into unacceptable behaviour.

He can  be happy one minute then the next have a meltdown.

Has anyone else had a DS/DD around this age act like this and grow out of it to be calmer once they reached 5 or started school?



My DS is 7 but I don't recall him being anything as described. He did have two kinder mates who behaved like that.  one kicked furniture and his mum didn't know what to do. Another always like to play the bad person eg Decepticon instead of an autobot. Both boys are Ben 10 fans.

#12 SashaN

Posted 15 November 2012 - 08:43 PM

Hi Mum2TwoDss he doesnt kick furniture normally or destructive it was only when i put him in his room and closed the door normally he is not violent like that at all so this is why i am hoping its a stage that he will come out of quickly he also doesnt like being the bad guy in role playing if thats what your saying i dont think that has ever come about at all.

His more into Curious George, Team Umizooms etc.

Daycare say his one of the more responsible and sensible children there...

Hmmm will just have to ride this one out.

Sasha

#13 rogue-shadow

Posted 15 November 2012 - 10:14 PM

Glad to know it's not only my just turned 4 yr old. He's been a nightmare for the last few months. Doing my head in.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

Toddler freed after getting trapped in escalator

A shopping centre escalator needed to be pulled apart to free a toddler's trapped hand.

Why I'm kind of excited about my daughter's nits

Is it weird to say that I am secretly thrilled to find that my daughter Edie has nits?

Baby born at 10:11 on 12-13-14

Well, it's actually 13-12-14 to us over here. But still, Clare Elizabeth Keane's consecutive numerical birth time is pretty special.

On holding tightly and loving fiercely

We can't live in fear. This post is about Christmas and how at this time we should be celebrating life and grateful for what we have: our loved ones who we cherish fiercely.

Babies, relatives and coping with Christmas day

Everyone will love your baby but your baby may not be so happy to be passed around a lot of new people - nor may you want to feed with an audience.

Why I won't be posting pictures of my baby on Facebook

There are pros and cons to this policy.

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.