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Temperamental nearly 4 year old

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#1 SashaN

Posted 14 November 2012 - 08:13 PM

Hi girls my DS is 4 in two weeks his always been a bit temperamental compared to other children I see and not so temperamental as others but the last month his began to get this aggressive streak and now gets quite aggressive when playing with his father and it turns into unacceptable behaviour.

He can  be happy one minute then the next have a meltdown.

I have heard and read about boys getting like this around 4 due to maybe a testosterone surge so not sure if this is true or this is why.

He also is so naughty and so defiant with discipline he does not respond to time out (never worked for him) and to put him in his bedroom he will try and kick the door we are in a semi so have adjoining walls to next door and they have a young bub so i am concious of him making too much noise so i have to open it so this does not work.

I m also worried that this means his going to be temperamental all his life my husband and i are very or were usually calm people and hate conflict.

Has anyone else had a DS/DD around this age act like this and grow out of it to be calmer once they reached 5 or started school?


#2 Missy Shelby

Posted 14 November 2012 - 08:18 PM

I will be stalking for replies wink.gif I am in the same boat as you atm op!!

#3 spando

Posted 14 November 2012 - 08:22 PM

I'm stalking as well

#4 imamumto3

Posted 14 November 2012 - 08:24 PM

sounds like my dd.  she has improved in the last week.  we have been doing the fed up diet, although not strictly, I think it has helped

#5 Angelina Ballerina

Posted 14 November 2012 - 08:25 PM

I think my 3.5 DS is going through this too. I had wondered if it was a developmental stage.

#6 Missy Shelby

Posted 14 November 2012 - 08:28 PM

Nice to know that we are not the only parents dealing with this!!

#7 wallofdodo

Posted 14 November 2012 - 08:39 PM

4 in Jan, while not exactly the same,  we have got a lot of yelling, and kicking when things don't go his way. Aggressive, but not physically like you described with playing.

he has been this way for a few months now, and I feel we are getting a handle on it. Lots of talk about being frustrated and angry. And how there are better ways to deal with these emotions.

Actually the turn around was when a friend's son piffed a trainat his head. He got really upset and asked why he did it. I explained that friend was just a bit angry and frustrated, and how he was feeling,  is how I feel when he kicks or yells at me.

So I don't think it is an indication of personality but just a stage that needs more management, and maybe a two year old to throw trains!! Haha. Hope I don't eat my words!

#8 my serenity

Posted 14 November 2012 - 08:46 PM

I call 4 in boys the dark side (10 isn't  pleasant either) and have told many s friend this it passes just be consistent in punishments.  some days/weeks worse than others .

#9 Hootabelles

Posted 14 November 2012 - 09:13 PM

Same here with my DD who is 4 in a month.  She has always been a bit more of a 'challenging' child.
We are also in an old Victorian so I am surprised that Docs haven't turned up yet (yet being the operative word wink.gif )

I have changed myself a bit as I started to lose it with her.  Now I count to 10 and go to her and give her a big cuddle  (try anyway)_ and get her to count with me.  Sometimes she hits out at me, other times she slumps in my arms defeated & crying out how tired she is.
I just feel consoled in knowing she isn't the only one.  I am probably at the lowest point I have ever been with her.  I'm on executive b for the stress and don't go anywhere without my Rescue remedy for me either!
We had a park play with kinder kids today and she had a total meltdown kicking and screaming.  SHe hit out at me and I picked her up and took her away.  The anger in me was beyond anything I have felt and was in tears.  I sat her down and held her in my arms. When she calmed down we talked and I waited a few minutes to go back and she was fine.
It's like she hits this crescendo where you cannot go near her and then if you can catch it the right time (along with a few hits along the way sadly) then I find I can get her to calm...but it is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with.  It is disheartening and sometimes I wonder what I have done wrong.
Ok...I have just hijacked so sorry.  I think I am just letting out some pent up feelings....
Hope it gets better for you OP..I wish I knew the answer to this behavior but know you are not alone and it is definitely not only boys!!

#10 SashaN

Posted 15 November 2012 - 06:05 AM

Hi girls thanks for all your posts its good to see we are not the only one going through this trying stage and also its not just boys as well.

I hope we all find this stage ends quickly and does not go on for too long.

Bubba08 hang in there i have had days where i have had tears or felt like tears then days that are wonderful they seem to go up and down and yes i agree to when tired and hungry it escalates.

As Angelina Balerina said prob a developmental stage.

hugs to all


#11 Mum2TwoDSs

Posted 15 November 2012 - 06:23 AM

QUOTE (SashaN @ 14/11/2012, 09:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi girls my DS is 4 in two weeks his always been a bit temperamental compared to other children I see and not so temperamental as others but the last month his began to get this aggressive streak and now gets quite aggressive when playing with his father and it turns into unacceptable behaviour.

He can  be happy one minute then the next have a meltdown.

Has anyone else had a DS/DD around this age act like this and grow out of it to be calmer once they reached 5 or started school?

My DS is 7 but I don't recall him being anything as described. He did have two kinder mates who behaved like that.  one kicked furniture and his mum didn't know what to do. Another always like to play the bad person eg Decepticon instead of an autobot. Both boys are Ben 10 fans.

#12 SashaN

Posted 15 November 2012 - 08:43 PM

Hi Mum2TwoDss he doesnt kick furniture normally or destructive it was only when i put him in his room and closed the door normally he is not violent like that at all so this is why i am hoping its a stage that he will come out of quickly he also doesnt like being the bad guy in role playing if thats what your saying i dont think that has ever come about at all.

His more into Curious George, Team Umizooms etc.

Daycare say his one of the more responsible and sensible children there...

Hmmm will just have to ride this one out.


#13 rogue-shadow

Posted 15 November 2012 - 10:14 PM

Glad to know it's not only my just turned 4 yr old. He's been a nightmare for the last few months. Doing my head in.

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