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Feeling stressed about pregnancy weight gain
13 replies to this topic
Posted 12 November 2012 - 07:29 PM
Looking for some perspective here please.
I am currently 27 weeks pregnant and have put on 15kg. This is my second pregnancy and last time I put on 20. I was a healthy BMI pre pregnancy and lost my weight within 6-9 months afterr, so had been at pre pregnancy weight for at least 9 months prior to falling pregnant again. This time however, for health reasons, and also because I struggled in the 3rd trimester, I was determined to try and limit my weight gain to 15kg.
In both pregnancies I have had hyperemesis early and lost some weight, but then when my appetite comes it comes with the vengeance, and I put on a lot of weight in the 2nd trimester. I try and eat well, but I eat alot, and even though most of my food choices are good one, I definitely eat too much high calorie snack foods. I exercised regularly throughout the second trimester but not huge amounts, I work full time in an active job and look after my almost 2 year old as well.
I'm starting to feel very depressed about the fact that despite being so motivated and aware this time, I only weigh 1kg less than I did at the same stage last pregnancy. While I do like food, I don't seem to have any problem controlling my weight when I'm not pregnant. Am I being too precious here? I am quite tall (178cm), should I just relax and accept for whatever reason that is what my body does during pregnancy. I'm torn between getting to obsessed with this and not wanting to cause health consequences to myself and baby through excessive weight gain. And I'm also VERY hormonal and vulnerable because I'm on night shift at the moment, so little things upset me more.
Thanks in advance.
Posted 12 November 2012 - 07:38 PM
I'm like you OP - we are even almost the same height. I also put on 20kg when pg but lost it all (except the last two pesky kilos!) easily.
I think it's best not to stress about it. I realised after I had DS how puffed up I had been with water retention. So I think a lot of the weight was just water, not fat iykwim.
I know it's hard, but given that last time you had no weight issues post-pregnancy, I think just relax ad accept that it's how you're meant to be when pg.
Posted 12 November 2012 - 07:45 PM
My SIL is like you in height OP, and a healthy pre-pregnancy weight. She was told by her OB to expect to put on 20 kilos or so in her first pregnancy, and did so. She also lost it quite quickly. She'd have put on a similar amount in her second pregnancy, but is already on the way to get back to her normal weight.
It can be hard watching the scales go up and up. My worst moment was when I couldn't even see over my bump to read the scales, so had to have the receptionist come out and inform me how much more I had put on. Very humiliating! I'd try to focus on the fact that you are lucky enough to lose the weight quickly and easily afterwards, I struggled for over 3 years to lose mine.
Posted 12 November 2012 - 07:50 PM
When pregnant with DS1, I stacked on 18kg. On a 52kg pre-preg, 163cm frame (healthy BMI), I can tell you this was massive. I ate reasonably well and walked to and from work each day (6km round trip) but it didn't matter. After DS1 was born, I dropped below my pre-preg weight before stabilising at my pre-preg weight when he was around 18months old (we were still BFing at that point).
I had DS1 through the public system and was always hassled about my weight gain. It irritated me.
DS2 was a planned homebirth and I threw away the scales. My midwife was not keen on weigh-ins, which delighted me. I didn't weigh myself once the entire pregnancy, but I can tell you I put on *at least* the 18kg I did with DS1. Throwing away the scales was the best thing I ever did. I learnt through my midwife to trust that given I was eating well and exercising moderately, my body would put on the weight it needed to birth and feed my baby.
I didn't stand on the scales again until DS2 was around 6 months old. I have never been one to overly stress about body image, but I must admit not having the (subconscious) pressure of weight gain and weight loss was just lovely.
Have you thought about throwing away your scales and just forgetting about it? You can't obsess and worry about what you don't know.
Posted 12 November 2012 - 08:19 PM
Have you thought about throwing away your scales and just forgetting about it? You can't obsess and worry about what you don't know.
Yes!!! I guess that is what I am leaning towards now, getting my husband to put the scales in the attic where I can't reach them, and instead just concentrate on eating healthily, exercising moderately, and enjoying the last 3 months. To be honest stressing on this is starting to detract from my enjoyment of the pregnancy.
The irony is no one else is giving me a hard time, my lovely ob does a single weight at 10 weeks and hasn't mentioned my weight since, and last time the midwife actually told me at 39 weeks that 20kg was fine for my height. The problem is I'm a health professional and a "good girl" and I've been very focused on the 11-16kg advice as being the "healthy" weight gain for a pregnancy.
Posted 12 November 2012 - 08:36 PM
I started this pregnancy in the healthy weight range and I have put on nearly 15 kilos and I am currently 26 weeks. I think I put on about 20kg overall last pregnancy, but I lost all but two or three kilos within 2 weeks of the birth (probably not totally healthy but I was in labour for three days and couldn't eat at all, then hardly ate after my emergency caesar coz I felt so sh*t), but then 12 months after DS was born I was even a few kilos lower than my pre-pregnancy weight, which I credit to all the breastfeeding.
So this time I am not so stressed about all the weight gain. I think some people do just put it on more when they are pregnant. The only negative I can see is that we may end up with bigger babies.
I am confident I will lose it again, although I am six years older this time, so expect it to take a little longer.
Try not to worry too much - using the words of my midwife "you'll be fine as long as you don't eat junk".
Posted 12 November 2012 - 08:37 PM
I think sometimes your body just does what it wants to do.
I am 'tiny' or so people often tell me. Short and slight. I put on 25 kgs both times I was pregnant and I really didn't eat that much more than usual. I am not a huge eater and my eating probably just increased to what most people eat but my body held on to every single gram.
Even after the second, being a bit older and not having the ability to go for walks as easily with 2 I lost the weight pretty easily. My walks with the pram to get a bit of air became strolls at DS1's pace!
Posted 13 November 2012 - 01:09 PM
I could have written your post about a week or 2 ago....actually im pretty sure i did.
Im just over 26 weeks and i weighed myself about 10 days ago and I had put on 11kgs and was so worried....I also had bad HG until 20 weeks.
I then posted and all the lovely ladies on here were so helpful.
basically as long as you are not eating chocolate for breakfast lunch and dinner and getting a balanced diet dont worry about what you put on......and if you are still really worried, talked about it with your doctor.
I am not hopping on the scales for the rest of my pregnancy unless i have to.
I hope you feel better about things now!
Posted 13 November 2012 - 03:10 PM
Yes!!! I guess that is what I am leaning towards now, getting my husband to put the scales in the attic where I can't reach them, and instead just concentrate on eating healthily, exercising moderately, and enjoying the last 3 months.
Posted 13 November 2012 - 03:17 PM
I'm only 162cm and with my first I put on 30kgs for a variety of reasons. It all came off pretty quick. With number 2, I refused to weigh myself, even to the point of when they weighed me on the day of my caesarian, I insisted they not tell me the weight!
This time round I'm doing the same thing - was healthy before I got pregnant, am eating well and refuse to weigh myself. I know I'm retaining water and I am having trouble being active so I know I'm stacking it on. Its just easier not to focus on or worry if I'm not attaching a number to it.
Posted 13 November 2012 - 03:23 PM
It's been a while since I had my two (they are 8 and 6) but I will give you my perspective.
I am 176cm and weighed about 58kgs when I got pregnant with my first. I was a bit underweight at the time but really liked myself and was healthy etc (I had been sugar free for about a year before getting pregnant and my usual weight was around 64-65kgs). I was exercising a lot.
My body craved all kinds of carbs right from the start and I stopped weighing myself when I got to 85kgs (30kgs!!!!) at about 36 weeks.
I had the most massive iced chocolate EVERY day of my pregnancy. I have never touched one or desired one when not pregnant. Apart from that I ate pretty well and exercised regularly.
I lost all the weight without really trying by about 10 months. I just ate well I think I got down to 62kgs.
I got pregnant with DS about a year later and again put on about 25kgs. I really watched what I ate this time but it made little difference - I did go for those iced chocolates again. I had zero willpower when it came to them!
Within a year I again was about 64kgs which is good for my height and age etc.
I would say, just go with it. You will lose the weight later. I felt that my body was just holding on to everything it needed for a reason.
I would love to be one of those people who puts on 12-15kgs but I would pretty much have to starve and deprive myself to do that.
Just go with it and enjoy your pregnancy! As long as you are not eating crap all day long, you shoudl be fine.
Posted 15 November 2012 - 03:24 PM
OP I have been feeling stressed and I had a mini-meltdown yesterday in the car on the way to work, after spending 30 mins trying to find something to wear that didn't show off cellulite that has recently appeared on my thighs I am earlier on than you - about 8 weeks behind but it has been on my mind quite a bit. I am also tall - 175cm and had an extra 5 - 7kgs more than what I would have liked, pre pregnancy.
I came to the conclusion that I am growing a baby and not entering a bikini competition and whilst I can do my best by eating healthy and doing moderate regular exercise, I have to go with my body's flow. I feel heaps better coming to the above conclusion.
Try not to be so hard on yourself, your body is doing an amazing thing!
I know a girl who shed off all of her baby weight purely by breast feeding alone - she weighed less a couple months after bub than she did pre-pregnancy.
Edited by elco, 15 November 2012 - 03:30 PM.
Posted 15 November 2012 - 04:11 PM
I will go slightly against the grain here.
I am overly pedantic about weight gain in pregnancy (and when not pregnant - It's a life long battle for me). I have PCOS for starters. I was 100kg when I was 18 and lost 35kg but gained some back during my fertility struggles. So for me limiting my weight gain was a big thing. With DS I gained 14kg and managed to lose that by the time he was a year old (but was still 8kg overweight). With DD I gained 8kg by the time I was 25 weeks and was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. After my diagnosis I went on a strict low GI eating plan and was forced to pay attention to everything I ate. By the end of my pregnancy I had gained 9kg in total (only 1kg since my GD diagnosis).
I think it's important to assess how you feel about it. If you're worried about gaining more weight, change your eating habits. Look at doing low GI and eating like you have GD. It's an extremely healthy lifestyle regardless of diabetes.
If you're not that worried about it, let it go. I could not mentally do that because losing weight is a very hard thing to do for me so it makes more sense to not have to lose that weight after if I had control over it.
I personally disagree with the whole thing about losing the weight later and breastfeeding will do it. Probably 1 in 10 women I know personally actually lost their weight easier. If it were that easy you would not see five million programs advertising the ability to help "shift" shift baby weight.
This is purely my own views for myself. It does not apply to anyone else or alter my opinion of anyone elses actions or choices. It's an each to their own scenario. I have an unhealthy relationship with my self image and I admit that openly. I can't think of anything more depressing than having a baby and realising I suddenly have to lose 25kg knowing that last time when I lost 35kg it took me 5 years. DD is now 3 years only and I have only just this year lost the weight I gained with her.
People say they eat healthy and behave but don't often really look at what they are eating or how often. My demon is picking. Those little things that sneak in which you think "don't count".
This probably doesn't help at all. But chances are all you need to do is reassess what you're eating. Get myfitnesspal if you can and use that to record the calories you are taking in. Not to calorie count but as a way of simply looking at what you're eating. Or write it down. Every little bite you eat, for a couple of days only. Look at the sugar content as well. One of the biggest traps is eating 'fat free' products that taste so great because they are full of sugar. You might surprise yourself and see where you can make some changes. You might see the end result and think "nope that's pretty good" and that is great too. Then you'll know and can do what you need to do.
Posted 15 November 2012 - 04:20 PM
I usually gain a lot of weight in pregnancy as well. I'm 174cm and gained 23kg in my first pregnancy and 26kg in my second. It was mostly fluid retention that caused it as well.
Have you thought of consulting a dietician that specialises in pregnancy? We are TTC#3 and I plan on seeing a dietician when I get pregnant so that I can find out what foods can minimise fluid retention and weight gain.
I usually eat fairly healthy foods, but for some reason I just balloon when pregnant and while I know that it wasn't because I was eating junk food all day, I was just so uncomfortable and miserable about my size that I didn't enjoy being pregnant at all.
Good luck OP
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