Jump to content

Neighbour's conversation this morning
Warning *Mentions sexual assault* ...What would you do?


  • Please log in to reply
36 replies to this topic

#1 brownowl

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:33 AM

deleted

Edited by pajanimal, 24 February 2014 - 03:57 PM.


#2 Feral Becky

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:36 AM

His problem, not yours.

#3 brownowl

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:37 AM

.

Edited by pajanimal, 24 February 2014 - 03:57 PM.


#4 beccajayne

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:40 AM

Seems a bit strange your neighbors behavior but I think you were right with your first impulse, it was a stranger.
Maybe your neighbor is having a bad day which could explain his behavior.

Just keep an eye out next time and try to get a good look at the car if you see it again.

#5 Feral Becky

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:41 AM

QUOTE (pajanimal @ 12/11/2012, 10:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Further to this, my husband's concern is what if it actually WAS the neighbour following me?  I can't swear to it either way.



That went through my mind too. The first wife being raped story could have been BS.

#6 Mummy Em

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:42 AM

I don't know, that doesn't sit right with me either. Try not to worry about him being offended, you have explained and that is all you can do.Hopefully he will settle down and realise he is over reacting. How sure are you that it wasn't him, would you have recognised his voice?

ETA - just saw your update. My feeling is that he sounds defensive. I'd just keep your distance TBH.

Edited by Mummy Em, 12 November 2012 - 10:46 AM.


#7 Katie_bella

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:43 AM

How were you to know what had happened to his wife?

I would probably have done the same thing as you did. Could you write a short note apologising for upsetting him and explaining that you weren't trying to accuse him of anything but were just trying to make sense of a situation that had frightened you? Attach it to a box of chocs or something?

I think keeping neighbours friendly is worth the effort.

#8 Ally'smum

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:44 AM

You have apologised so I would just leave it at that and avoid him.

1) Why is he taking offence to it in the first place?
2) Why is he stewing over it?

Something isn't right there and I would leave it well alone.

You need to be wary because it could have been him and he could have been acting inappropriately.
DH knows the route that I run (on busy streets) and what time I should be back by and I always carry my phone.

#9 brownowl

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:44 AM

Because it was pouring with rain, the driver was behind me and I was puffing I actually wasn't sure it is was or wasn't him.  Only reason I thought it was a stranger was because he kind of sped off when I stopped at the milk bar which seemed really strange.   The car was similar, but it was a very common car.

#10 brownowl

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:47 AM

QUOTE (loggedin @ 12/11/2012, 11:44 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You have apologised so I would just leave it at that and avoid him.

1) Why is he taking offence to it in the first place?
2) Why is he stewing over it?

Something isn't right there and I would leave it well alone.

You need to be wary because it could have been him and he could have been acting inappropriately.
DH knows the route that I run (on busy streets) and what time I should be back by and I always carry my phone.


I actually joined a gym after that so I run on a treadmill now.  I always ran the same route (not many options) at the same time (when kids were looked after) so I was highly predictable.

#11 Feral Becky

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:48 AM

QUOTE (Katie_bella @ 12/11/2012, 11:43 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
How were you to know what had happened to his wife?

I would probably have done the same thing as you did. Could you write a short note apologising for upsetting him and explaining that you weren't trying to accuse him of anything but were just trying to make sense of a situation that had frightened you? Attach it to a box of chocs or something?

I think keeping neighbours friendly is worth the effort.


NO WAY!!! I think he would see that as you encouraging him.

Keep your distance, he sounds weird to me.


#12 qak

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:53 AM

QUOTE (loggedin @ 12/11/2012, 11:44 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You have apologised so I would just leave it at that and avoid him.

1) Why is he taking offence to it in the first place?
2) Why is he stewing over it?

Something isn't right there and I would leave it well alone.


I think this too. Six months? It really sounds to me like it was him in the car.

#13 la di dah

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:57 AM

He sounds like he's trying to intimidate you and make you feel guilty for natural reactions so you'll give him more leeway to be creepy.

I wouldn't have any ****ing time for his bullsh*t but I wouldn't engage him. I would have given him a single level, toneless, "I'm sorry you feel that way..." and nothing more.

#14 Escapin

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:57 AM

I all sounds VERY odd. I'd stay well away. In fact, I'd almost consider making a police report re both incidents, just in case there's more to this than you know.

#15 LookMumNoHands

Posted 12 November 2012 - 11:02 AM

That must have been really awful, and I would have felt intimidated by him this morning too.

I would not say any more to him about the matter, and I would do my best to avoid him at all costs in the future.

He sounds like a weirdo, and very creepy, whether it was him who followed you or not.

#16 rabbit hyde

Posted 12 November 2012 - 11:04 AM

If you inquired as to whether it was him and explained that you were concerned about appearing rude if it was.  But you couldn't see given the weather conditions, I don't understand why he felt the need to stew on it and confront you.

Also to disclose what happened to his first wife and other family is weird.

I'd just keep my distance and not bother with interacting with him unless you have too.  Making you feel guilty for being aware of your safety and doing what felt comfortable to you at the time is unnecessary.

If he pushes it again, just simply say you're sorry he's confused what you meant and leave it at that.

#17 ~Jodama_Feral~

Posted 12 November 2012 - 11:05 AM

QUOTE (Katie_bella @ 12/11/2012, 11:43 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
How were you to know what had happened to his wife?

I would probably have done the same thing as you did. Could you write a short note apologising for upsetting him and explaining that you weren't trying to accuse him of anything but were just trying to make sense of a situation that had frightened you? Attach it to a box of chocs or something?

I think keeping neighbours friendly is worth the effort.


No it isnt and dont send a letter or chocolates,if it was him him, it will send the wrong message and may encourage him, if it was him.

I would be extremely wary of him. I would be polite if I happened to see him. A 'hi, how are you' and keep walking is fine but not engage in a conversation. Sounds very odd and something about it isnt quite right.

#18 Feral Becky

Posted 12 November 2012 - 11:06 AM

QUOTE (Escapin @ 12/11/2012, 11:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I all sounds VERY odd. I'd stay well away. In fact, I'd almost consider making a police report re both incidents, just in case there's more to this than you know.


I agree with this. If he has a history, police would have it on file and he may be up to his old tricks again.


#19 shanta

Posted 12 November 2012 - 11:07 AM

QUOTE (Escapin @ 12/11/2012, 10:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I all sounds VERY odd. I'd stay well away. In fact, I'd almost consider making a police report re both incidents, just in case there's more to this than you know.



Same. It can't hurt.

#20 MaeGlyn

Posted 12 November 2012 - 11:11 AM

I'd avoid him.

Maybe he wasn't following you in his car, but why would he need to tell you all that stuff that is highly personal if you don't talk much? Seems innapropriate boundaries

And projecting a bit onto you stuff.

I would feel a bit assaulted if someone told me all that stuff, and if he was following you, it would seem a bit creepy.

It could be creepy or just innapropriate but either way I'd  keep a polite outer orbit distance.

Edited by MaeGlyn, 12 November 2012 - 11:11 AM.


#21 Baggy

Posted 12 November 2012 - 11:12 AM

You've already apologised. I'd just leave it and keep my distance. I definitely wouldn't try to apologise with chocolates or a letter or anything like that.

#22 Sweet like a lemon

Posted 12 November 2012 - 11:16 AM

QUOTE (pajanimal @ 12/11/2012, 11:33 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Now I don't know what to do, if anything.   What do you think?  Am I over reacting, should I do more?


Nothing?
It sounds like a the guy just off loaded. I once broke down in the doctor's room after having a go at the receptionist and then continued to blab my whole miserable sob story out to the poor woman. It happens under extreme stress.  shrug.gif

#23 Propaganda

Posted 12 November 2012 - 11:18 AM

I don't think there's anything you should do. He probably was somewhat offended by you asking him if it was him, not because you did anything wrong but because of his previous experience with those kinds of situations, he was a particularly sensitive.

The disclosure of such personal information was probably not intentional, he was probably just all over the place and it slipped out. I know I go into far more detail than necessary when I'm a bit emotional.

I don't think he has a right to be aggressive, but I'd just put it down to him being in a emotionally poor place, and leave it alone. I'd just not really have much to do with them again.

#24 ComradeBob

Posted 12 November 2012 - 11:18 AM

You've apologised and that's all you need to do. Do not pander to his issues, when you are not in the wrong. He obviously has issues, not you, especially when you consider that this happened 6 months ago, and you had a legitimate concern that the person following you may have been up to no good. I will also say that your safety is much more important than his hurt feelings.

I also second going to the police. OK, it may not do anything. But equally, it might.

Edited by BobTheKelpie, 12 November 2012 - 11:18 AM.


#25 Mummy Em

Posted 12 November 2012 - 11:22 AM

Another thing, what does your body do when you are around him? We teach kids to listen to their early warning signs - body hairs standintg up, jelly legs, butterflies in tummy etc - but often forget to listen to them ourselves.

Ladidah makes sense. He's trying to accuse you of creep shaming. http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-04-11/the-so...ng-is-total-bs/




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Dealing with a toddler's morning tantrums

Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?

Child in suitcase 'could have died eight years ago'

A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.

MP breastfeeds baby during parliamentary session

An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.

My baby's first seizure

It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.

Portable pools 'more dangerous than permanent ones'

Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.

Heartbreaking moment mum kisses her one-week-old goodbye

At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.

The amazing Tee Pee bed and kid-friendly Frankie Bunk bed

These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.

The funny things kids say when you're pregnant

Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.

The real problem with having one child

In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.

Six-week-old baby found dead, believed stabbed

A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.

The fire hazard in more than 70,000 Australian homes

So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.

How having a baby can bring on OCD

We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.

IVF gender selection being considered for Australian parents

Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.

The best age to get married (according to the latest study)

Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.

Yes, you can get pregnant before your period returns post-baby

After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.

Fellow diner rewards mum after toddler's tantrum

Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown. 

IKEA begins massive safety campaign after two toddler deaths

Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.

Beaneasy: sweet nursery furniture with a twist

If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.

A dad's guide to hyperemesis

I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.

Woman adopts best friend's four daughters after cancer tragedy

Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.

Baby Leo's mum excluded from $500K trust 'for her own protection'

Samuel Forrest didn't want his wife as a trustee of their baby Leo's half million dollar trust for her own "protection", it has emerged.

Confirmed: men gain weight when they become dads

Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study

Carer investigated over washing machine photo posted 'for a laugh'

She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.

Mum's premature labour nightmare after high tea salmonella outbreak

An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.

The day my son started a fire

Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?

Prince George celebrates second birthday

Prince George's second birthday has been marked by the release of an official picture showing the toddler smiling as he is held by his proud beaming father.

Which beauty treatments are safe in pregnancy?

Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?

The five ways I know my 'baby' is no longer a baby

The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.

Review: Cybex Platinum PRIAM pram

I'm not usually one who believes in love at first sight but that's exactly what happened when I first saw the Cybex PRIAM.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Why I'm choosing to be a single mother right from the start

I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.

Mother and baby units are a necessity for mental health, not a luxury

I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.

30 French baby names

French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.

New mum's Spanish maternity nightmare

A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.

Preparing Rover to be a good dog with baby

Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?

Company offers to ship working mums' breast milk home

First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.

Prince William speaks of his pride at wife Kate and 'little joy of heaven' Charlotte

The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.

'Glowing' eye saves baby Mason's life

A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life. 

Parenting and decision overload

Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.

Proof that toddlers can't be left unsupervised - ever

Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!

Meet Jeremy Ryan, The Voice contestant with seven kids

If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.

Baby's adorable reaction to wearing glasses for the first time

Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.

Police officer buys supplies for family after mum of six caught shoplifting

When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.

Why pregnant women on antidepressants shouldn’t panic about birth defect claims

The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.

Arrests made over children's birthday party brawl

Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.

Family shares awesome drone baby announcement

Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.

Young warrior Owen defies doctors' predictions

Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old

Advice for dads: when to approach your wife for sex

The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.

I might be fat, but I don't need saving

I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.

The rookie mistakes we make as parents

Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.

 

FREE TICKET

See Pinky McKay live in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.