Jump to content

Loving mum too much?
Help needed.


  • Please log in to reply
7 replies to this topic

#1 Feral Nelly

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:07 AM

My little girl is 23 months old now.


She has always had a very strong bond with her Dad and I (never liked going to other people for cuddles etc) - but has been particularly attached to me.



Her behaviour has become even more challenging lately, especially when she is tired and/or upset.



She will push her Dad away and scream 'No, Mama'. He is not 'allowed' to change her nappy, play with her, feed her or interact with her if I am around. This is despite the fact that he has been her primary carer this year. He was a fulltime SAHP for the first 6 months and now works 2 days a week and is at home 3 days.



She goes to childcare 2 days a week and until about 6 weeks ago, she was doing really well. Happy to be dropped off and really enjoying herself.



Since the school holidays, she has become really unsettled and gets very upset when she is dropped off.



It seems like the more time she spends with me around, the more she rejects her Dad. They get along fine Tues-Fri but by Sunday evening (after two days with Mum at home) she is feral again and won't let Dad do anything. This was even more exaggerated after the school holidays when I was home everyday for two weeks. She wouldn't let me out of her sight by the end of the holidays.



I guess this is part vent, part WTHDYTIGOWH (what the heck do you think is going on with her) and part WWYD.



Does anyone else have a mumophile toddler? Will she get over this stage or am I doomed to have my daughter stuck like a limpet to me forever?

Edited by Plappermaul, 12 November 2012 - 10:09 AM.


#2 Sweet like a lemon

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:18 AM

QUOTE
This is despite the fact that he has been her primary carer this year.


DD is much the same with her dad and I am the primary carer. My non-scientific, totally unprofessional opinion is children (especially only children) want the parent who is perceived at the least accessible.

If say "Come we need to go to town" it's met with "I don't like shopping, it's boring, I'm not moving for any amount of bribery." If DH says "I'm quickly popping up to town." DDs immediate response is "Wait for me Daddy! I want to come too! I love shopping with you Daddy." lol.

She and I get along great, have a ball of fun all day but the moment DH walks through the door I'm persona non grata.

#3 lozoodle

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:21 AM

I think its just a toddler thing. Both of mine have gone through phases of only wanting me, and other times only wanting DP.

It seems fairly common and normal from what other parents have said to me as well original.gif

#4 mummy2amelia

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:30 AM

Age quirk.  

My DD went from me to DH and back again as to who was the favourite.  
DS is
QUOTE
stuck like a limpet to me


I call him my shadow.

Edited by mummy2amelia, 12 November 2012 - 10:30 AM.


#5 Princess.cranky.pants

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:37 AM

Separation Anxiety peeks in toddlers about 18-24 months. Sounds your DD is going though it.

My 26 month old has been going though separation anxiety for awhile but is just starting to get a bit better. For a time though it was all about me. S

I find she will let DH do things like change her nappy if I am not in the room.

Crying at drop off is normal too. She just wants you. Like most things it dose pass.

#6 Natttmumm

Posted 12 November 2012 - 11:39 AM

DD1 was like that although DH wasn't at home with her as he worked full time. She just didnt want him at all. She still favours me but is ok with him now. This took until 4 yrs old
DD2 will go to the opposite person so if I'm trying to dress her she wants dad advice versa.



#7 Escapin

Posted 12 November 2012 - 11:44 AM

My DD (19mo) wakes up from every sleep and overnight and her first word is 'Daddy?'. She only learnt to say Mummy yesterday!!! I try not to take all this personally wink.gif

And yes, I'm a SAHM at the moment and DH works long hours during the week.

#8 Feral Nelly

Posted 13 November 2012 - 04:33 PM

Thanks for the reassurance - not nice that other people are also going through it but good to know we're not alone!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How I learnt to relax about routines

After many routine-led, tough years, we've realised that being parenting isn't about being perfect. It isn't about following a schedule to a T.

Should you have a third child or not?

I thought our family had been complete with our two boys. I had no idea how much I needed my daughter until she was here.

Helping a toddler embrace an adopted sibling

A single parent by choice, I am preparing to adopt a second baby from Morocco. And I face a special challenge.

When pregnancy messes with your self-esteem

Pregnancy doesn't make all women feel beautiful. It certainly doesn't raise every woman's self-esteem.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Robbie Williams live tweets wife's labour

And the award for most patient woman in labour goes to ... Robbie Williams' wife, Ayda Field.

Vaccine ignorance is deadly and contagious

In the absence of credible, strong political leadership, paranoia about disease can go viral.

Parenting differently based on birth order

All children have unique personalities, but keeping birth order in mind could help when parenting.

How to get rid of the mum guilt

Motherhood and guilt seem to go hand in hand, but there are ways to focus

Paid parental leave scheme grinds to a halt

The future of Prime Minister Tony Abbott's paid parental leave scheme appears to be up in the air, despite the fact it is due to begin in less than nine months.

The devastation of foetal alcohol spectrum disorders

No one's sure how many Australians are affected by foetal alcohol spectrum disorders, but the consequences for those who are can be devastating.

The pros and cons of finding out the sex of your unborn baby

It’s often one of the biggest choices parents make during the course of their pregnancy; to find out, or not to find out, the sex of their baby before it’s born.

Toddler's awesome dress up month

Two-year-old Willow and her photographer mum, Gina Lee, made October "Dress Up Willow Month". She posted photos of Willow's costumes on her Instagram account, and her creative takes on popular culture are simply adorable.

Childhood around the world

It can be easy to assume our ideas around childhood are universal, but they are particular to where we live, as these practices show.

Best picks for baby and toddler shoes

Here's a great selection of footwear from pre-walker to walker ensuring comfort and style for growing feet.

I lost my wife and daughters to Ebola - then it came for my son

Sunday, September 21, is a day I will never forget.

The 'yucky' illness that took over my life

I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss. It involves toilet talk, and probably caused my miscarriage. But it needs to be talked about.

Prenatal testing: the facts

Prenatal testing is done to check if a baby has certain medical conditions before birth. Here is some important information about what the tests are for and the risks involved.

5 things to do with your baby?s old clothes

Did you think your only option for your baby?s old clothes was to pack them away or give them to the Salvos? Think again.

Why it's possible to not realise you're pregnant until the baby arrives

After hearing about 'surprise babies' born to mums who didn't know they were pregnant, it's common to ask "how did she not realise?" But experts say it's entirely possible for it to happen.

'My miracle is finally here'

How has the world continued on its pace when mine has been altered so drastically?

Dairy can help older women fall pregnant: study

Ice cream may be the ultimate comfort food, but a study suggests it could also help older women to have children.

Megan Gale goes topless for 'sexiest people' cover

Six months after a heavily pregnant Megan Gale posed nude for Marie Claire, the glowing new mum has gone topless for the cover of another magazine.

A new perspective on life from living with two diseases

A mother shares her personal story about the difficulty of living with two conditions, one of which stops her from being able to see her daughter's face.

Warning about Children's Panadol dosage

The Therapeutic Goods Administration has issued a safety advisory warning parents about confusion when using the dosing syringe supplied with Children's Panadol.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Take 'The Coles Big Nappy Change' Challenge

You could become part of our Test Drive team and win one of 200 packs of Coles Little Explorer Nappies as part of our 5-day challenge.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Weird trend

Couple has five babies in 14 months

Julie and David Grygla weren't sure they'd ever have kids - but their dreams have now well and truly come true.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.