Jump to content

Loving mum too much?
Help needed.


  • Please log in to reply
7 replies to this topic

#1 Feral Nelly

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:07 AM

My little girl is 23 months old now.


She has always had a very strong bond with her Dad and I (never liked going to other people for cuddles etc) - but has been particularly attached to me.



Her behaviour has become even more challenging lately, especially when she is tired and/or upset.



She will push her Dad away and scream 'No, Mama'. He is not 'allowed' to change her nappy, play with her, feed her or interact with her if I am around. This is despite the fact that he has been her primary carer this year. He was a fulltime SAHP for the first 6 months and now works 2 days a week and is at home 3 days.



She goes to childcare 2 days a week and until about 6 weeks ago, she was doing really well. Happy to be dropped off and really enjoying herself.



Since the school holidays, she has become really unsettled and gets very upset when she is dropped off.



It seems like the more time she spends with me around, the more she rejects her Dad. They get along fine Tues-Fri but by Sunday evening (after two days with Mum at home) she is feral again and won't let Dad do anything. This was even more exaggerated after the school holidays when I was home everyday for two weeks. She wouldn't let me out of her sight by the end of the holidays.



I guess this is part vent, part WTHDYTIGOWH (what the heck do you think is going on with her) and part WWYD.



Does anyone else have a mumophile toddler? Will she get over this stage or am I doomed to have my daughter stuck like a limpet to me forever?

Edited by Plappermaul, 12 November 2012 - 10:09 AM.


#2 Sweet like a lemon

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:18 AM

QUOTE
This is despite the fact that he has been her primary carer this year.


DD is much the same with her dad and I am the primary carer. My non-scientific, totally unprofessional opinion is children (especially only children) want the parent who is perceived at the least accessible.

If say "Come we need to go to town" it's met with "I don't like shopping, it's boring, I'm not moving for any amount of bribery." If DH says "I'm quickly popping up to town." DDs immediate response is "Wait for me Daddy! I want to come too! I love shopping with you Daddy." lol.

She and I get along great, have a ball of fun all day but the moment DH walks through the door I'm persona non grata.

#3 lozoodle

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:21 AM

I think its just a toddler thing. Both of mine have gone through phases of only wanting me, and other times only wanting DP.

It seems fairly common and normal from what other parents have said to me as well original.gif

#4 Space is Big

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:30 AM

Age quirk.  

My DD went from me to DH and back again as to who was the favourite.  
DS is
QUOTE
stuck like a limpet to me


I call him my shadow.

Edited by mummy2amelia, 12 November 2012 - 10:30 AM.


#5 Princess.cranky.pants

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:37 AM

Separation Anxiety peeks in toddlers about 18-24 months. Sounds your DD is going though it.

My 26 month old has been going though separation anxiety for awhile but is just starting to get a bit better. For a time though it was all about me. S

I find she will let DH do things like change her nappy if I am not in the room.

Crying at drop off is normal too. She just wants you. Like most things it dose pass.

#6 Natttmumm

Posted 12 November 2012 - 11:39 AM

DD1 was like that although DH wasn't at home with her as he worked full time. She just didnt want him at all. She still favours me but is ok with him now. This took until 4 yrs old
DD2 will go to the opposite person so if I'm trying to dress her she wants dad advice versa.



#7 Escapin

Posted 12 November 2012 - 11:44 AM

My DD (19mo) wakes up from every sleep and overnight and her first word is 'Daddy?'. She only learnt to say Mummy yesterday!!! I try not to take all this personally wink.gif

And yes, I'm a SAHM at the moment and DH works long hours during the week.

#8 Feral Nelly

Posted 13 November 2012 - 04:33 PM

Thanks for the reassurance - not nice that other people are also going through it but good to know we're not alone!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Dealing with a toddler's morning tantrums

Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?

Child in suitcase 'could have died eight years ago'

A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.

MP breastfeeds baby during parliamentary session

An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.

My baby's first seizure

It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.

Portable pools 'more dangerous than permanent ones'

Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.

Heartbreaking moment mum kisses her one-week-old goodbye

At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.

The amazing Tee Pee bed and kid-friendly Frankie Bunk bed

These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.

The funny things kids say when you're pregnant

Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.

The real problem with having one child

In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.

Six-week-old baby found dead, believed stabbed

A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.

The fire hazard in more than 70,000 Australian homes

So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.

How having a baby can bring on OCD

We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.

IVF gender selection being considered for Australian parents

Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.

The best age to get married (according to the latest study)

Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.

Yes, you can get pregnant before your period returns post-baby

After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.

Fellow diner rewards mum after toddler's tantrum

Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown. 

IKEA begins massive safety campaign after two toddler deaths

Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.

Beaneasy: sweet nursery furniture with a twist

If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.

A dad's guide to hyperemesis

I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.

Woman adopts best friend's four daughters after cancer tragedy

Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.

Baby Leo's mum excluded from $500K trust 'for her own protection'

Samuel Forrest didn't want his wife as a trustee of their baby Leo's half million dollar trust for her own "protection", it has emerged.

Confirmed: men gain weight when they become dads

Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study

Carer investigated over washing machine photo posted 'for a laugh'

She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.

Mum's premature labour nightmare after high tea salmonella outbreak

An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.

The day my son started a fire

Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?

Prince George celebrates second birthday

Prince George's second birthday has been marked by the release of an official picture showing the toddler smiling as he is held by his proud beaming father.

Which beauty treatments are safe in pregnancy?

Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?

The five ways I know my 'baby' is no longer a baby

The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.

Review: Cybex Platinum PRIAM pram

I'm not usually one who believes in love at first sight but that's exactly what happened when I first saw the Cybex PRIAM.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Why I'm choosing to be a single mother right from the start

I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.

Mother and baby units are a necessity for mental health, not a luxury

I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.

30 French baby names

French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.

New mum's Spanish maternity nightmare

A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.

Preparing Rover to be a good dog with baby

Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?

Company offers to ship working mums' breast milk home

First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.

Prince William speaks of his pride at wife Kate and 'little joy of heaven' Charlotte

The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.

'Glowing' eye saves baby Mason's life

A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life. 

Parenting and decision overload

Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.

Proof that toddlers can't be left unsupervised - ever

Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!

Meet Jeremy Ryan, The Voice contestant with seven kids

If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.

Baby's adorable reaction to wearing glasses for the first time

Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.

Police officer buys supplies for family after mum of six caught shoplifting

When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.

Why pregnant women on antidepressants shouldn’t panic about birth defect claims

The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.

Arrests made over children's birthday party brawl

Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.

Family shares awesome drone baby announcement

Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.

Young warrior Owen defies doctors' predictions

Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old

Advice for dads: when to approach your wife for sex

The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.

I might be fat, but I don't need saving

I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.

The rookie mistakes we make as parents

Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.

 

FREE TICKET

See Pinky McKay live in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.