Jump to content

Loving mum too much?
Help needed.


  • Please log in to reply
7 replies to this topic

#1 Feral Nelly

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:07 AM

My little girl is 23 months old now.


She has always had a very strong bond with her Dad and I (never liked going to other people for cuddles etc) - but has been particularly attached to me.



Her behaviour has become even more challenging lately, especially when she is tired and/or upset.



She will push her Dad away and scream 'No, Mama'. He is not 'allowed' to change her nappy, play with her, feed her or interact with her if I am around. This is despite the fact that he has been her primary carer this year. He was a fulltime SAHP for the first 6 months and now works 2 days a week and is at home 3 days.



She goes to childcare 2 days a week and until about 6 weeks ago, she was doing really well. Happy to be dropped off and really enjoying herself.



Since the school holidays, she has become really unsettled and gets very upset when she is dropped off.



It seems like the more time she spends with me around, the more she rejects her Dad. They get along fine Tues-Fri but by Sunday evening (after two days with Mum at home) she is feral again and won't let Dad do anything. This was even more exaggerated after the school holidays when I was home everyday for two weeks. She wouldn't let me out of her sight by the end of the holidays.



I guess this is part vent, part WTHDYTIGOWH (what the heck do you think is going on with her) and part WWYD.



Does anyone else have a mumophile toddler? Will she get over this stage or am I doomed to have my daughter stuck like a limpet to me forever?

Edited by Plappermaul, 12 November 2012 - 10:09 AM.


#2 Sweet like a lemon

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:18 AM

QUOTE
This is despite the fact that he has been her primary carer this year.


DD is much the same with her dad and I am the primary carer. My non-scientific, totally unprofessional opinion is children (especially only children) want the parent who is perceived at the least accessible.

If say "Come we need to go to town" it's met with "I don't like shopping, it's boring, I'm not moving for any amount of bribery." If DH says "I'm quickly popping up to town." DDs immediate response is "Wait for me Daddy! I want to come too! I love shopping with you Daddy." lol.

She and I get along great, have a ball of fun all day but the moment DH walks through the door I'm persona non grata.

#3 lozoodle

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:21 AM

I think its just a toddler thing. Both of mine have gone through phases of only wanting me, and other times only wanting DP.

It seems fairly common and normal from what other parents have said to me as well original.gif

#4 Space is Big

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:30 AM

Age quirk.  

My DD went from me to DH and back again as to who was the favourite.  
DS is
QUOTE
stuck like a limpet to me


I call him my shadow.

Edited by mummy2amelia, 12 November 2012 - 10:30 AM.


#5 Princess.cranky.pants

Posted 12 November 2012 - 10:37 AM

Separation Anxiety peeks in toddlers about 18-24 months. Sounds your DD is going though it.

My 26 month old has been going though separation anxiety for awhile but is just starting to get a bit better. For a time though it was all about me. S

I find she will let DH do things like change her nappy if I am not in the room.

Crying at drop off is normal too. She just wants you. Like most things it dose pass.

#6 Natttmumm

Posted 12 November 2012 - 11:39 AM

DD1 was like that although DH wasn't at home with her as he worked full time. She just didnt want him at all. She still favours me but is ok with him now. This took until 4 yrs old
DD2 will go to the opposite person so if I'm trying to dress her she wants dad advice versa.



#7 Escapin

Posted 12 November 2012 - 11:44 AM

My DD (19mo) wakes up from every sleep and overnight and her first word is 'Daddy?'. She only learnt to say Mummy yesterday!!! I try not to take all this personally wink.gif

And yes, I'm a SAHM at the moment and DH works long hours during the week.

#8 Feral Nelly

Posted 13 November 2012 - 04:33 PM

Thanks for the reassurance - not nice that other people are also going through it but good to know we're not alone!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

Win Love Child Season 1 & 2 on DVD

To celebrate the release of Love Child Season 2 on DVD from July 9, Essential Baby and Universal Sony Pictures Home Entertainment are giving away Love Child Season 1 & 2 on DVD to 13 lucky winners.

10 things I wish my pre-baby self knew

I look back at my pre-baby self and laugh at how ridiculously easy I actually had it. I remember complaining about how tired I was and how little time I had.

Creative ways to store your child's art

Ideas for storing your child's artworks have moved on from sticking them to the fridge door before guiltily dumping them in the bin.

Child abuse ignored because 'it's not your children': Waleed Aly

Waleed Aly takes apart the immigration law that's designed to "protect politicians"

How a newborn niece changed star Australian basketballer's life

In August 2013 star basketball Abby Bishop was 24-years-old and in the prime of her sporting career.

Guilt is my new shadow

No one warned me that when I gave birth there would be an additional side order of guilt.

12 brilliant Ikea hacks for kids’ rooms

Check out these creative upcycling ideas that transform regular Ikea items into something special for your little ones.

Child's nightmare about 'man with a light' turned out to be real

For three days, a three-year-old boy had been saying there was "a man with a light" outside his window at night.

Toilet truths after giving birth

The thought of going to the toilet after giving birth is often feared, but there are ways to make it less painful.

Woman asks strangers for $1 million to stop her having an abortion

An anonymous woman is taking an extreme moral and ethical stand by seeking $1 million in donations to prevent her going ahead with a planned abortion.

How a woman's dying wish made another woman a mum

"I kind of think about, 'What did I do beforehand? What kept me so busy back then?' Because now I'm really busy."

The parenting do-over: what six parents did differently second time around

In playgrounds across Australia, you can hear parents lamenting, "When we have our next baby I swear I won't be doing THAT again".

A solo birth, a wasp swarm and a forest fire: mum and baby's amazing story of survival

Desperate, out of petrol and low on food, a new mother lit a fire in the hope of attracting attention.

Boy found on swing died of hypothermia and dehydration, autopsy finds

The story was chilling and heartbreaking: a three-year-old boy was found dead in a Southern Maryland park, his mother pushing him on the swing.

Child's play and laughter help battle fatigue

Feeling fatigued? Uh-huh, thought as much. Join the queue.

Dad shares entertaining 'how to hold a baby' clip

For many new dads, their own child is the first baby they have ever held. So one dad has posted an instructive YouTube video titled "How to Hold a Baby".

The Australian baby with 100,000 Facebook fans

She may be only eight months old, but Egypt has already amassed more than 100,000 fans and received a letter from royalty - Hollywood royalty that is.

Tongue tie: what you need to know

Tongue and lip tie can lead to many problems for babies - and their parents. Here are the signs of tongue tie and how it's treated.

My daughter is small but that doesn't matter

My daughter may be small, but it's my job as her parent to refocus back where it belongs - on who she is as a person

Wet wipes linked to rise in allergic reactions

The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

27 funny ultrasound pictures

Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.

What all parents should know about safe babywearing

A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.

Baby's head shape reveals potentially fatal condition

Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.

Why IVF success rates may not be what you think

Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.

Mother-in-law 'from hell' inspires survival guide

The happily ever after Nicola Milan had imagined wasn't to be – and she blames her mother-in-law.

Owning a pair of nail scissors does not make me a hairdresser

It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.

The 83 children who were tragically let down in the last decade

Over a 10-year period, 83 children died from domestic violence abuse in NSW, with three quarters of the victims aged five years or under, the NSW Ombudsman has revealed.

Is it reasonable to expect your partner to give up drinking in pregnancy?

From the moment that I fell pregnant with my son, I realised just how much my life had already started to change.

Stroke victim joins class action against makers of popular contraceptive pill

"I was terrified I would always be this way. The pill needs to come with a much higher warning."

Sexy time

Why you should get excited about scheduling sex

Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.

When newborn photoshoots get messy

When it comes to newborn photoshoots, it is all about the timing.

Expert Q&A: Gross motor skill development in toddlers and preschoolers

Dr Katie Heathershaw answers questions about jumping, toe walking, riding a bike and being pigeon toed.

'Samuel is our firstborn, and he will never be forgotten'

Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.

Dad takes miraculous catch while feeding baby

One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.

Name your baby Quinoa, win a $10K gift card

Choosing a name for your little bundle of joy is always a major decision. It can be something traditional, trendy, creative … or inspired by the menu of your favourite chain restaurant.

On the 10th anniversary of my son's death

This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.

'Help - my toddler hits me!'

My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.

The top 6 misleading parenting terms

From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.

When 'good' nannies go bad

While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.

Woman hospitalised for skinny jeans injury

Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.

Gauze seeding: the bacteria-breeding birth trend

A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.

Jimmy Fallon writes new children's book for dads

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".

28 names for babies born in winter

Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.

 

FREE TICKET

Get your FREE ticket to the Baby & Toddler Show

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.