Jump to content

Why is it derogatory to call a male 'lady' or 'girl'?


  • Please log in to reply
29 replies to this topic

#1 Bart.

Posted 11 November 2012 - 05:56 AM

I've noticed that when you call a man "lady" or "girl", it's intended as a derogatory term.  I see it in the entertainment and media industry all the time where a group of men might be called "ladies", which is meant to talk down to them, or a weak male might be called "a big girl".

Another one is the term 'Son of a b!tch".  Surely that's more offensive to the mother than the son, so why use it?

I don't get it.   unsure.gif


#2 Monket

Posted 11 November 2012 - 06:03 AM

Ah, we women know that it is a complement....but men are too stupid to work that out!

The son of a b**ch thing I take as meaning the person is a dog, so son of a female dog.  Again, a complement in my books.  Most dogs I have met have been nicer than most of the people I have met.

#3 MrsLexiK

Posted 11 November 2012 - 06:15 AM

I don't think it is that different then saying "she's like a man" or "she looks like a bloke"

Son of a biatch well you are insulted the mother in a way yes. Most men don't like to have their mummies insulted so you are hitting them at their core.

#4 Bart.

Posted 11 November 2012 - 06:47 AM

I hadn't thought about the dog aspect.  

MrsLexiK, I see your point.  However, if you said to a group of women, "hello boys", you'd get a lot of  huh.gif .   Tounge1.gif

I wonder why it's an insult to call a person the other gender?

#5 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 11 November 2012 - 06:49 AM

Because being female is the worst insult possible to a man as we all know women aren't half the human men are.

Women acting like men is just as bad because it means she doesn't know her place.



#6 kpingitquiet

Posted 11 November 2012 - 06:55 AM

It's rare that maleness is used as an insult. Much more common for femaleness to be used that way.

The reason is that in the minds of many, most who don't even consider themselves misogynists, femaleness = weak, emotional, unworthy, lesser, frivolous, gossipy, etc. So, to call a man a girl, you are, in this mindset, stripping away his maleness and turning him into what he dislikes the most...a female.

Calling a woman a man is more often seen as a compliment., "You've got balls!" means you were brave, bold, fearless. "You da man!" means you took control of a situation or shut someone else down, successfully. Obviously the rare "She looks like a man" is an insult but you'd probably feel just as insulted if they said "She looks like a horse."

Welcome to gender psychology biggrin.gif

#7 caninestorm

Posted 11 November 2012 - 07:03 AM

QUOTE (Sassy Girl @ 11/11/2012, 07:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It's an insult because it's not the gender they are. It would be just as insulting to call women 'men' or 'boys'

As for 'son of a b**ch', I have always felt that was a two pronged insult both to the person it was directed at and their mother.


I agree. Calling someone something they're not is generally offensive, is it not? huh.gif

#8 Dionysus

Posted 11 November 2012 - 07:05 AM

because being a woman (weak, inferior, useless) is the worst thing one can be

Actually, being a part of the female anatomy (c**t) is even worse than that

What's the equivalent of c**t?

"You are a d*ck"  - mild insult

"You cocked that up" - mild insult

"c*cksucker" is worse than both of the above - meaning you are the effeminate person in a relationship (weak, inferior, useless)










#9 Bart.

Posted 11 November 2012 - 07:10 AM

QUOTE (Dinosaurus @ 11/11/2012, 07:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Because being female is the worst insult possible to a man as we all know women aren't half the human men are.

Women acting like men is just as bad because it means she doesn't know her place.

Admittedly, this was closer to my suspicions.

So then if you call a guy a "big girl", then it's a double insult because you're either an extreme girl or an overweight/tall one.  rolleyes.gif

Edited by Bartholomew, 11 November 2012 - 07:11 AM.


#10 Feral Borgia

Posted 11 November 2012 - 07:10 AM

...and why is it that a word beginning with "c" ...another word for vagina...is considered the worst insult of all, and is unprintable in most publications? Interesting issues to ponder on a Sunday morning....

#11 shutterspeed

Posted 11 November 2012 - 07:21 AM

I think for the vast majority, it isn't about misogyny or being better than women. The insult is meant to imply that they don't know how to be a man.





#12 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 11 November 2012 - 07:24 AM

The c word is the worst insult because it belongs to loose women - nice girls have *cats*

Alas it (gender warfare) is still alive and well - my 3 1/2 year old informs me he doesn't want to go to school with girls because he doesn't like girls! Ah the fun to come!

#13 Bart.

Posted 11 November 2012 - 07:30 AM

It's incredible how common the insult is, though.  My sister called her husband "a big girl" when he didn't want go to Canberra because it was cold.  I asked her what was wrong with being a girl?  After all, she was going and she was a girl.  She honestly hadn't thought about it before and said, "then he's a wuss". laughing2.gif


#14 wombat

Posted 11 November 2012 - 07:31 AM

I have a friend who's husband used to tell thier boys to "stop acting like a girl" whenever they complained about anything.  I pointed out to my friend how wrong this was, that I thought it was giving the impression to her boys that girls were inferior and the absolute worse thing in the world you would want to be.  She said she had never thought of it that way and asked him to stop.  I also secretly wondered what thier relationship must be like if her husband had such a low opinion of females, but I get that to my self wink.gif

#15 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 11 November 2012 - 07:46 AM

Oh Wombat you're nicer than me, when a friend (one in particular) does that in front of me and my sons he cops it on the spot. His wife isn't a lot better though, she has said some of the most shocking things I've ever heard, and then he says "I think we should agree to disagree" and I say "no, you are a sexist pig, it's not a disagreement it's a fact" laughing2.gif

He hasn't said anything like that in a long while though, probably just not in front of me but to be fair I haven't heard it from his son either and he is well of the age of repeating everything.



#16 wombat

Posted 11 November 2012 - 08:04 AM

QUOTE
Oh Wombat you're nicer than me, when a friend (one in particular) does that in front of me and my sons he cops it on the spot. His wife isn't a lot better though, she has said some of the most shocking things I've ever heard, and then he says "I think we should agree to disagree" and I say "no, you are a sexist pig, it's not a disagreement it's a fact"

He hasn't said anything like that in a long while though, probably just not in front of me but to be fair I haven't heard it from his son either and he is well of the age of repeating everything
.
Good for you!!!  As the mother of a daughter I find it hard enough as it is to provide her with positive re-inforcements about her gender, given the stupid things people say.  Another of my favourites is "oh you know, girls are so b**chy at that age"  (apparently at any age according to some people).  I've even been flamed on EB for daring to suggest that this is not true, particularly in my house. Apparently I am wearing rose coloured glasses and my DD MUST be a litlle b**ch, because she is genetically programed that way and it is unavoidable. No wonder males grow up with such a low opinion of women, with so many people re-inforcing this sexist crap. In fact it is just lazy parenting - lets just let the kids act anyway they want and blame it on gender.  People are so stupid it makes my head hurt. rant.gif

#17 Jane F. Jetson

Posted 11 November 2012 - 08:14 AM

Because according to people who think this way, there are two types of people:

1. men (default)
2. sub-humans (women and gay men).

To call a group of men "ladies" is to insinuate that they are sub-par humans, that is, inferior, weak and incompetent. It's nothing to do with simply being called something they're not.

#18 Cat People

Posted 11 November 2012 - 08:19 AM

There are women who are offended by the term "lady" as well; just so you know.  I can't say I'm thrilled about the term myself.

#19 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 11 November 2012 - 08:21 AM

QUOTE (Madame Catty @ 11/11/2012, 09:19 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
There are women who are offended by the term "lady" as well; just so you know.  I can't say I'm thrilled about the term myself.


Why?

#20 Feral like a Lemon

Posted 11 November 2012 - 08:22 AM

QUOTE (kpingitquiet @ 11/11/2012, 07:55 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It's rare that maleness is used as an insult. Much more common for femaleness to be used that way.

The reason is that in the minds of many, most who don't even consider themselves misogynists, femaleness = weak, emotional, unworthy, lesser, frivolous, gossipy, etc. So, to call a man a girl, you are, in this mindset, stripping away his maleness and turning him into what he dislikes the most...a female.

Calling a woman a man is more often seen as a compliment., "You've got balls!" means you were brave, bold, fearless. "You da man!" means you took control of a situation or shut someone else down, successfully. Obviously the rare "She looks like a man" is an insult but you'd probably feel just as insulted if they said "She looks like a horse."

Welcome to gender psychology biggrin.gif


I could have written a response but Kpingitquiet did it so perfectly.


#21 Cat People

Posted 11 November 2012 - 08:27 AM

QUOTE (Dinosaurus @ 11/11/2012, 09:21 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why?


Think about what the term "lady" conjures up in your mind - a neat, tidy woman who doesn't drink, smoke or swear.  She certainly wouldn't answer back or raise her voice, she's a "lady" after all.

From the dictionary -


la·dy/ˈlādē/
Noun:
A woman (used as a polite or old-fashioned form of reference).
A woman of superior social position, esp. one of noble birth: "lords and ladies".

#22 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 11 November 2012 - 08:32 AM

I tend to go with A, interchangeable with woman. I would use it in the context of saying "move out of the lady's way" to DS, I also use it with two e's on the end to call my friends "awesome ladee" when they have done something awesome original.gif

I definitely don't conjure up and image of anything more than a female in my mind, but that's not necessarily true of everyone obviously.

I don't really think about the lords and and ladies context, after all Lady Di was a lady and, well biggrin.gif

I shall definitely refrain from calling you a lady though Madame Catty, if I get in your way at the supermarket which term would you prefer?

#23 Cat People

Posted 11 November 2012 - 08:40 AM

QUOTE (Dinosaurus @ 11/11/2012, 09:32 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I shall definitely refrain from calling you a lady though Madame Catty, if I get in your way at the supermarket which term would you prefer?


Madame of course!


I'm not really offended, as I do it myself.  It doesn't seem quite right to call someone a "woman" as in "say excuse me to the woman ds", the term "lady" seems more polite.  However I do understand the offence.  For example, it's often used as an insult "she's NO lady!" to imply a woman is perhaps promiscuous, loud or uncouth.


#24 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 11 November 2012 - 08:46 AM

I find it helpful when age is questionable, I don't want to call and adult a girl but calling a child a woman also seems wrong. Lady covers everyone.

Yes "she's no lady" is obviously an insult, I don't use it in that context laughing2.gif I haven't heard that for a long time though, I suppose the same people who call their sons girls still tell people their wives aren't ladies rolleyes.gif

I am NOT calling everyone in the supermarket madam in case I run into you - I am certain "move out of the madams way" would hold far more connotations for most than "lady" laughing2.gif

#25 EsmeLennox

Posted 11 November 2012 - 09:06 AM

The idiom son of a b**ch is actually calling a man a dog, a mean and aggressive dog. Shakespeare used it in King Lear.

I dislike the term 'lady' too MC, it makes me feel quite uncomfortable for some reason.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Why are there so few sexy maternity bras?

Rather than feeling ashamed of their post-baby bodies, women should be free to buy lingerie that makes them look attractive and pretty - no matter what stage of life they're in.

Toddler Alliyah one step closer to first trip home

She has lived the first 14 months of her life in a hospital intensive care unit, but Alliyah Broadby's parents hope to finally take their little girl home with them.

'Put people before IVF profits': IVF pioneer Alan Trounson

IVF could be done for hundreds of dollars in Australia instead of $8500 if clinics stopped charging what ''the market will handle'', a pioneer of the technology says.

Expectant parents urged to swap the pub for bub

Nearly one in five women drink while pregnant, but a current campaign is trying to drive down that unhealthy statistic.

Nutella supplies threatened by bad weather

There's bad news for fans of Nutella, the gooey, chocolatey hazelnut spread.

The cost of growing your own vegies

Does it make financial sense to grow your own veggies, or are you better off ordering produce from the local food co-op?

Breastfeeding mums less likely to suffer from PND, but all need support

A new study has shown the a complex relationship between a mother?s intention to breastfeed, her ability to do so, and postnatal depression.

The #loveyourlines Instagram account taking on body issues

A new Instagram account, LoveYourLines, has put the call out for to change the way we view stretch marks.

Mum gets diploma 51 years after being thrown out of school over pregnancy

Sandra Lantz was about six months pregnant and four months from graduation when she was forced to leave high school. Now, more than half a century later, she has finally graduated.

The lowdown on male midwives

How would you feel about having a male midwife assist your baby's birth? For a growing number of mums, the idea is a reality - and the experts all agree that it's something that should be encouraged.

Bomb threat at daycare centre

Worried parents took to social media yesterday after their children's daycare was evacuated due to a bomb threat.

Unusual celebrity baby names

Celebrities love to use their imaginations when it comes to naming their kids! Here's a gallery of some of the most memorable monikers in show biz families.

5 fears I've overcome since becoming a mum

Motherhood has a way of putting any phobias you had pre-parenthood into perspective: you either realise they?re a pointless waste of energy or they simply vanish in a sleep-deprived haze.

Mums review the Dymples range from Big W

The Big W Dymples range offers parents a vast selection of quality products to keep their little ones happy and healthy. We asked the Real Mums Test Drive team to review some items - here's what they said.

Recall: Another cot deemed unsafe

Parents are being warned to check their baby's cot is not one of those which have been recalled in recent weeks due to safety concerns.

The truth about breastfeeding and weightloss

Celebrities often state that their post-baby weight loss is down to breastfeeding, and breastfeeding alone. But that's not the reality for all women.

10 weird things little kids do

Most kids have their own personal brand of oddity. It's usually nothing to worry about, but every now and again you might find yourself scratching your head and asking, ?Really? Is that really a thing??

The app that helps detect signs of autism

Parents can assess their children's progress at critical developmental stages, thanks to this new app.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Smiggle is painting the town red!

We have 3 Red Smiggle prize packs to give away! Enter by posting a photo of something red to your Instagram.

Mum gives birth at school

She went to a doctor complaining of stomach pains, then had an unexpected operation to remove a decades-old fetus.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.