Jump to content

Why is it derogatory to call a male 'lady' or 'girl'?


  • Please log in to reply
26 replies to this topic

#1 Bart.

Posted 11 November 2012 - 05:56 AM

I've noticed that when you call a man "lady" or "girl", it's intended as a derogatory term.  I see it in the entertainment and media industry all the time where a group of men might be called "ladies", which is meant to talk down to them, or a weak male might be called "a big girl".

Another one is the term 'Son of a b!tch".  Surely that's more offensive to the mother than the son, so why use it?

I don't get it.   unsure.gif


#2 Monket

Posted 11 November 2012 - 06:03 AM

Ah, we women know that it is a complement....but men are too stupid to work that out!

The son of a b**ch thing I take as meaning the person is a dog, so son of a female dog.  Again, a complement in my books.  Most dogs I have met have been nicer than most of the people I have met.

#3 MrsLexiK

Posted 11 November 2012 - 06:15 AM

I don't think it is that different then saying "she's like a man" or "she looks like a bloke"

Son of a biatch well you are insulted the mother in a way yes. Most men don't like to have their mummies insulted so you are hitting them at their core.

#4 Bart.

Posted 11 November 2012 - 06:47 AM

I hadn't thought about the dog aspect.  

MrsLexiK, I see your point.  However, if you said to a group of women, "hello boys", you'd get a lot of  huh.gif .   Tounge1.gif

I wonder why it's an insult to call a person the other gender?

#5 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 11 November 2012 - 06:49 AM

Because being female is the worst insult possible to a man as we all know women aren't half the human men are.

Women acting like men is just as bad because it means she doesn't know her place.



#6 kpingitquiet

Posted 11 November 2012 - 06:55 AM

It's rare that maleness is used as an insult. Much more common for femaleness to be used that way.

The reason is that in the minds of many, most who don't even consider themselves misogynists, femaleness = weak, emotional, unworthy, lesser, frivolous, gossipy, etc. So, to call a man a girl, you are, in this mindset, stripping away his maleness and turning him into what he dislikes the most...a female.

Calling a woman a man is more often seen as a compliment., "You've got balls!" means you were brave, bold, fearless. "You da man!" means you took control of a situation or shut someone else down, successfully. Obviously the rare "She looks like a man" is an insult but you'd probably feel just as insulted if they said "She looks like a horse."

Welcome to gender psychology biggrin.gif

#7 caninestorm

Posted 11 November 2012 - 07:03 AM

QUOTE (Sassy Girl @ 11/11/2012, 07:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It's an insult because it's not the gender they are. It would be just as insulting to call women 'men' or 'boys'

As for 'son of a b**ch', I have always felt that was a two pronged insult both to the person it was directed at and their mother.


I agree. Calling someone something they're not is generally offensive, is it not? huh.gif

#8 Dionysus

Posted 11 November 2012 - 07:05 AM

because being a woman (weak, inferior, useless) is the worst thing one can be

Actually, being a part of the female anatomy (c**t) is even worse than that

What's the equivalent of c**t?

"You are a d*ck"  - mild insult

"You cocked that up" - mild insult

"c*cksucker" is worse than both of the above - meaning you are the effeminate person in a relationship (weak, inferior, useless)










#9 Bart.

Posted 11 November 2012 - 07:10 AM

QUOTE (Dinosaurus @ 11/11/2012, 07:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Because being female is the worst insult possible to a man as we all know women aren't half the human men are.

Women acting like men is just as bad because it means she doesn't know her place.

Admittedly, this was closer to my suspicions.

So then if you call a guy a "big girl", then it's a double insult because you're either an extreme girl or an overweight/tall one.  rolleyes.gif

Edited by Bartholomew, 11 November 2012 - 07:11 AM.


#10 Lucrezia Borgia

Posted 11 November 2012 - 07:10 AM

...and why is it that a word beginning with "c" ...another word for vagina...is considered the worst insult of all, and is unprintable in most publications? Interesting issues to ponder on a Sunday morning....

#11 Drowninginferal

Posted 11 November 2012 - 07:21 AM

I think for the vast majority, it isn't about misogyny or being better than women. The insult is meant to imply that they don't know how to be a man.





#12 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 11 November 2012 - 07:24 AM

The c word is the worst insult because it belongs to loose women - nice girls have *cats*

Alas it (gender warfare) is still alive and well - my 3 1/2 year old informs me he doesn't want to go to school with girls because he doesn't like girls! Ah the fun to come!

#13 Bart.

Posted 11 November 2012 - 07:30 AM

It's incredible how common the insult is, though.  My sister called her husband "a big girl" when he didn't want go to Canberra because it was cold.  I asked her what was wrong with being a girl?  After all, she was going and she was a girl.  She honestly hadn't thought about it before and said, "then he's a wuss". laughing2.gif


#14 wombat

Posted 11 November 2012 - 07:31 AM

I have a friend who's husband used to tell thier boys to "stop acting like a girl" whenever they complained about anything.  I pointed out to my friend how wrong this was, that I thought it was giving the impression to her boys that girls were inferior and the absolute worse thing in the world you would want to be.  She said she had never thought of it that way and asked him to stop.  I also secretly wondered what thier relationship must be like if her husband had such a low opinion of females, but I get that to my self wink.gif

#15 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 11 November 2012 - 07:46 AM

Oh Wombat you're nicer than me, when a friend (one in particular) does that in front of me and my sons he cops it on the spot. His wife isn't a lot better though, she has said some of the most shocking things I've ever heard, and then he says "I think we should agree to disagree" and I say "no, you are a sexist pig, it's not a disagreement it's a fact" laughing2.gif

He hasn't said anything like that in a long while though, probably just not in front of me but to be fair I haven't heard it from his son either and he is well of the age of repeating everything.



#16 wombat

Posted 11 November 2012 - 08:04 AM

QUOTE
Oh Wombat you're nicer than me, when a friend (one in particular) does that in front of me and my sons he cops it on the spot. His wife isn't a lot better though, she has said some of the most shocking things I've ever heard, and then he says "I think we should agree to disagree" and I say "no, you are a sexist pig, it's not a disagreement it's a fact"

He hasn't said anything like that in a long while though, probably just not in front of me but to be fair I haven't heard it from his son either and he is well of the age of repeating everything
.
Good for you!!!  As the mother of a daughter I find it hard enough as it is to provide her with positive re-inforcements about her gender, given the stupid things people say.  Another of my favourites is "oh you know, girls are so b**chy at that age"  (apparently at any age according to some people).  I've even been flamed on EB for daring to suggest that this is not true, particularly in my house. Apparently I am wearing rose coloured glasses and my DD MUST be a litlle b**ch, because she is genetically programed that way and it is unavoidable. No wonder males grow up with such a low opinion of women, with so many people re-inforcing this sexist crap. In fact it is just lazy parenting - lets just let the kids act anyway they want and blame it on gender.  People are so stupid it makes my head hurt. rant.gif

#17 Jane Jetson

Posted 11 November 2012 - 08:14 AM

Because according to people who think this way, there are two types of people:

1. men (default)
2. sub-humans (women and gay men).

To call a group of men "ladies" is to insinuate that they are sub-par humans, that is, inferior, weak and incompetent. It's nothing to do with simply being called something they're not.

#18 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 11 November 2012 - 08:21 AM

QUOTE (Madame Catty @ 11/11/2012, 09:19 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
There are women who are offended by the term "lady" as well; just so you know.  I can't say I'm thrilled about the term myself.


Why?

#19 Sweet like a lemon

Posted 11 November 2012 - 08:22 AM

QUOTE (kpingitquiet @ 11/11/2012, 07:55 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It's rare that maleness is used as an insult. Much more common for femaleness to be used that way.

The reason is that in the minds of many, most who don't even consider themselves misogynists, femaleness = weak, emotional, unworthy, lesser, frivolous, gossipy, etc. So, to call a man a girl, you are, in this mindset, stripping away his maleness and turning him into what he dislikes the most...a female.

Calling a woman a man is more often seen as a compliment., "You've got balls!" means you were brave, bold, fearless. "You da man!" means you took control of a situation or shut someone else down, successfully. Obviously the rare "She looks like a man" is an insult but you'd probably feel just as insulted if they said "She looks like a horse."

Welcome to gender psychology biggrin.gif


I could have written a response but Kpingitquiet did it so perfectly.


#20 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 11 November 2012 - 08:32 AM

I tend to go with A, interchangeable with woman. I would use it in the context of saying "move out of the lady's way" to DS, I also use it with two e's on the end to call my friends "awesome ladee" when they have done something awesome original.gif

I definitely don't conjure up and image of anything more than a female in my mind, but that's not necessarily true of everyone obviously.

I don't really think about the lords and and ladies context, after all Lady Di was a lady and, well biggrin.gif

I shall definitely refrain from calling you a lady though Madame Catty, if I get in your way at the supermarket which term would you prefer?

#21 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 11 November 2012 - 08:46 AM

I find it helpful when age is questionable, I don't want to call and adult a girl but calling a child a woman also seems wrong. Lady covers everyone.

Yes "she's no lady" is obviously an insult, I don't use it in that context laughing2.gif I haven't heard that for a long time though, I suppose the same people who call their sons girls still tell people their wives aren't ladies rolleyes.gif

I am NOT calling everyone in the supermarket madam in case I run into you - I am certain "move out of the madams way" would hold far more connotations for most than "lady" laughing2.gif

#22 EsmeLennox

Posted 11 November 2012 - 09:06 AM

The idiom son of a b**ch is actually calling a man a dog, a mean and aggressive dog. Shakespeare used it in King Lear.

I dislike the term 'lady' too MC, it makes me feel quite uncomfortable for some reason.

#23 BetteBoop

Posted 11 November 2012 - 09:12 AM

kpngitquiet said it beautiful. Insulting someone for being like a woman is obviously because women are inferior.

QUOTE (thestylemanual @ 11/11/2012, 07:21 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think for the vast majority, it isn't about misogyny or being better than women. The insult is meant to imply that they don't know how to be a man.


If they don't know how to be a man, what is the alternative? Being a woman.

I doubt many men use gendered insults thinking they're misogynists. But when you insult someone by saying they "run/throw/kick like a girl" that only has one meaning.

I've never heard "you run like a man" being used as an insult.

#24 LynnyP

Posted 11 November 2012 - 09:22 AM

I agree entirley with kpngitquiet.  You can see this playing out in modern naming trends where lots of girls are called Cameron or Elliot or Rylie because they are spunky names but I see very few boys called Emily or Jane or Elizabeth.  You may argue as much as you like that names are just names and it isn't that you see male characteristics as desirable and female as not but until names are indeed just names and there are an equal number of boy children with traditional girls names, I'm not going to believe you.

#25 Imaginary friend

Posted 11 November 2012 - 10:30 AM

QUOTE
Actually, being a part of the female anatomy (c**t) is even worse than that

What's the equivalent of c**t?

"You are a d*ck"  - mild insult

"You cocked that up" - mild insult



But calling someone a prick is a worse insult than calling them a d*ck - not sure why - but anyway I would say that is equivalent to calling them a c***.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win a Mountain Buggy Swift

To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.

Shopping with kids: breaking the pester-power cycle

You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.

eBay jacket may hold clue to murdered girl's identity

A jacket similar to the one found with the remains of a brutally murdered little girl in South Australia has been identified on eBay.

New mum forced back to work early due to paid parental leave 'technicality'

Shelley Parker had to keep driving buses until the date her baby was due and will have to rush back to work at the end of this week after being denied paid parental leave on a "technicality".

Pregnant Amanda Palmer poses naked for book drive

It has to be the most original way ever of promoting a children's book donation day.

The conception dilemma facing many parents today

Some parents who conceived through a sperm donor will be wary of telling the child, while others prefer to deal with it early on. But recent research suggests it makes little difference either way.

The wedding photo the bridesmaid would rather forget

We've probably all seen a passed-out bridesmaid at one wedding or another, but it usually happens towards the end of the night.

Pregnant TV meteorologist takes on haters

Pregnant TV meteorologist Katie Fehlinger has hit back at haters who called her a "sausage in casing".

Honest words from first-time mums

I didn't want to say anything negative to my pregnant friend, but I wish I'd been more honest.

Adorable baby experiences rain for the first time, couldn't be happier

Harper had seen rain from the comfort of indoors before, but had never had the pleasure of being outside and experiencing it first hand.

What it's really like to start a family in your fifties

Many people suppose that it must be much more tiring to have a baby in middle age, but all the mothers in the playground look exhausted, whatever their age.

'Biggest hypocrite ever': Josh Duggar admits to Ashley Madison account

An American reality TV star has been busted with a cheating website account, according to US media.

Long recovery ahead for girl hit by car weeks after baby brother's death

A little girl is more alert and starting to talk after being hit by a car a week ago, but still faces a long recovery.

How to react when a toddler lies

Q: My almost-3-year-old is starting to figure out that he can lie when asked if he ripped the book, threw the food, hit his brother, etc. Totally normal, I know. How do we respond?

The circular experience of a Centrelink client

A mum-to-be experiences the frustration of dealing with Centrelink, myGov and everything in between.

Kelly Clarkson announces live on stage: 'I'm pregnant!'

Singer Kelly Clarkson has announced she is pregnant with her second child during a concert in Los Angeles.

Hack

How to search the leaked Ashley Madison data

At least three sites are republishing Ashley Madison's user data on the public-facing internet.

Mum dances her way through labour

There are a fair few ways to distract yourself and beat pains while in labour, but it's probably a rare woman who chooses her dance her way through it.

'Rest in peace, my little lion': premmie baby Jacob passes away

Baby Jacob, whose photo of him born at just 27 weeks was deemed 'too graphic' for a fundraising site, has died.

Mum killed three young sons 'to help her daughter', prosecutor says

Niall Pilkington's death last summer apparently raised little alarm in Bellefontaine, Ohio. Tragic accidents happen, after all.

Shorter women have shorter pregnancies: study

When a group of researchers studied nearly 3500 mothers and their babies, they noticed a curious pattern.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The worst 20 minutes of my life

Thirty seconds was all it took to turn a shopping trip into my worst nightmare.

Top baby names for England and Wales in 2014

George has overtaken William in the official rankings of most popular British baby names - and Game of Thrones is still having an impact on parents.

Baseball or baby? Dad's tough choice

What's more important, a baby or a baseball? That's a question this dad seems to struggle with.

Childbirth choices: five star or free?

It's not often you hear the words labour and luxury in the same sentence but for some, a 5-star start to parenthood is exactly what they seek. And with a number of private hospitals now offering packages which include a post-birth stay at a sumptuous first class resort, many mums are choosing to recover in style.

'Where did your boobies go, Mummy?' and other soul-destroying comments from kids

Most women carry a smidge of baby weight after giving birth. If you're lucky enough to have an older child in the house, they can keep you on track with your weight loss goals.

Do you read me, baby?

Is it too soon to be reading to my two-month-old son? If not, what should I read?

Minimising sibling rivalry when you've got a baby

Sibling rivalry is an act of competition, but if your children feel involved and special, this type of jealousy will be minimised.

Will studying on maternity leave take you away from your most important job?

I remember when I was trying to decide if I could combine motherhood and furthering my university education.

Win a Pacapod this Father's Day

To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW

Preschooler hit by car shortly after baby brother's death

A mother has had a frantic race to the hospital after her daughter was hit by a car, just four weeks after her infant son died.

Gay couple and Thai surrogate in custody tug-of-war

A six-month-old baby girl is trapped in the Thai capital in a bitter custody wrangle between her Thai surrogate mother and her biological father.

Couple denied IVF over parenting concerns

A mother of six has been denied access to IVF treatment in order to have another child over concerns about her parenting skills.

The book that promises to put your children to sleep

Exhausted parents from around the world are singing the praises of a "miracle" book which promises to put even the most restless child to sleep in just minutes.

5 things every parent who feels guilty needs to know

Parenthood can make you feel bad, but you're not alone.

Royals criticise 'dangerous' attempts to photograph Prince George

The British royal family criticized paparazzi on Friday for what it called their increasingly dangerous attempts to photograph young Prince George.

'No jab, no play' rule to cover Victorian kindergartens and childcare centres

"Anti-vaxxers" face not being able to send their children to childcare centres or kindergarten if they refuse to have them immunised.

15,000 birthing kits on their way to developing countries

Giving birth in a hospital surrounded by medical experts is tough enough, but some women deliver babies without a clean sheet to lie on.

Photo of premmie 'too graphic', fundraising site says

When their son Jacob was born at just 27 weeks, Christina and Jeff Hinks were thrown into an uncertain world.

The latest Bugaboo collections: cool chevron and runner prams

Bugaboo sure likes to keep things fresh, and with the Australian spring/summer season coming up, there are two new Bugaboo pram releases.

Making room for two in the bed

Mum's room or their own room? Cot or bassinets? Deciding where twins will sleep can be tricky.

 

FREE TICKET

See Hi-5 LIVE in Sydney!

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.