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List of demands
Helping out with a new baby

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#1 Copacetic

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:34 AM

So this was actually sent to people. I got it from Gawker.com - reasonable or unreasonable?

We are beginning to settle into a routine with our sweet baby girl and have visitors. [Parent 1] and I put together a list of "helpfuls" if you would like to come over and help us out during this transitional period into parenthood. Please visit this google doc:

Dear friends and family,

The following helpful list are the kind things that we will remember and appreciate forever. This is what [Parent]'s body and soul needs, and will be most helpful for our bonding with the baby. By devoting just a few hours doing one of these things, we will get the support and rest we need with our newborn in the house.

[Two Chill Parents]

1. Ask us what groceries we need around the house and bring them to us. We likely need toilet paper and milk.

2. Drop off a big super greek salad with grilled chicken. We will dress it ourselves at home. Or, drop off frozen homemade food like lasagna we can reheat later.

*Allergies/intolerances include: Soy anything (including tempeh and tofu), carrageenan, guar gum, gum acacia, xanthan gum, carob bean gum (anything with the word GUM in it), lentils — Please read labels. Many of these ingredients are in store bought food.

3. Come over at about 2 in the afternoon, hold the baby while I have a hot shower, put me to bed with the baby and then complete one or more household chores, such as:
-fold laundry
-scoop the litter box
-take Lenny for a well deserved walk or run around the neighborhood or park
-clean the kitchen or the bathroom

4. Come over at 10am, make me eggs, toast, and ½ a grapefruit. Clean my fridge and throw anything out that you doubt — don't ask me, just use your best judgment. Clean the kitchen stove and the kitchen floor.

5. Come over in your work clothes and vacuum, dust, clean the litter box, and then leave quietly. It might be too tiring for me to chat and entertain, but it will renew my soul to get some rest knowing I will wake up to a clean, organized space.

6. Take [our dog] for a well-deserved long walk or run around our neighborhood or Prospect Park.

7. Come over to fold laundry or clean and give [Parent] a break so she can go enjoy some r & r, go to a coffee shop, a bar, or something else fun. Vacuum and fold more laundry. Clean the litter box.

8. Make a giant pot of vegetable soup in our kitchen and clean the kitchen completely afterwards. Then take a big garbage bag and empty every trash basket in the house. Reline the kitchen garbage can with a fresh bag.

FWIW, I'm glad I'm not her slave.

#2 PurpleNess

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:36 AM

WTF - perhaps it's there way to keep unwanted visitors away...it'd work!

#3 bakesgirls

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:40 AM

I think they will soon become a very lonely couple. Who in their right mind would go to their house, so they can be a dogs body to this entitled couple?!

#4 Guest_3Keiki_*

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:42 AM

again I say.... sweet baby jesus!
are peeps for real????
It is a baby, they are not battling some terrible disease!!!
I would happily do these things for a friend or loved one fighting cancer or similar but it is a BABY. Oh my god talk about entitlement

#5 casime

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:43 AM

Where is the task of pulling the poker out of her a*se?  

Surely these tasks are the role of their butler?

#6 LoudMuffin

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:43 AM

QUOTE (PurpleNess @ 10/11/2012, 10:36 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
WTF - perhaps it's there way to keep unwanted visitors away...it'd work!


As much as people might like to do these things for new parents, I wouldn't like to be told how I can help before I offer.

#7 Duck-o-lah

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:47 AM

9. Come over and wipe my a*se for me?!

I would go over and help a friend with a new baby anytime, but making a list of such specific demands? Unreal!

#8 SeaPrincess

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:47 AM

QUOTE (PurpleNess @ 10/11/2012, 08:36 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
WTF - perhaps it's there way to keep unwanted visitors away...it'd work!

My thoughts exactly!

#9 Squeekums Da Feral

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:50 AM

That is funny as!
Who ever would send that must be a 'lovely' person to be around!

#10 feralangel

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:50 AM

I can't stop laughing  roll2.gif this has to be a joke, right?

#11 Floral Arrangement

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:51 AM

snigger snigger this couple live in a totally different world to me, maybe this is the done thing in their circle of family and friends roll2.gif wacko.gif

#12 marnie27

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:51 AM

I just saw this on STFU Parents - it about sums it up for me except it should be STFU self entitled, egotistical w*n*er parents-to-be.

#13 JustBeige

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:56 AM

Someone has waaaay too much time on their hands for having a new baby.

I agree about the 'keeping people away' thing.

They may also be using it (in their self entitled delusional state) as a yardstick to see how many of their friends and family truly love them.  ie: If they stick to our list they must love us

I think I would just send them a card wishing them well and telling them I will stay out of their way till they are settled with their new LO.

Otherwise, anything I did for them would feel like duty or obligation and because "they" told me to. Not because I wanted to because I cared about them.

#14 niggles

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:57 AM

They sound like fun. As in, I'd have a lot of fun at their expense if I had the misfortune to call them friends.

#15 Epitome

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:59 AM

I have a "friend" who is totally capable of pulling that type of bull

In fact, I completely expect to get a similar note next year when her next baby is due

She's also the same person who changes a baby's nappy on top of a restaurant table - (not 10 metres away from a beautifully equipped parents room) insists that all events revolve around her childs sleep schedule and told e my life was meaningless until I had children.

Some people are just a*holes

#16 kay11

Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:01 AM

I like how it was asking to clean the litter box. That surely has to be a joke. I just wouldn't think to ask anyone else to do that outside family.

I like how it also asked them to put her to bed with the baby. I don't think I've been put to bed since I was maybe 5yo?

#17 Gumbette

Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:04 AM

This is either a p*ss take or an ad for a full time housekeeper.

#18 ChickyMumma

Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:04 AM

QUOTE (natangel @ 10/11/2012, 11:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I can't stop laughing  roll2.gif this has to be a joke, right?

I am ROLFLMAO too. Seriously.

I had next to no help with DS1 and loved it. I liked being alone and having the house to myself. All I asked was for visitors to text or call DH before coming around and also asked for no visitors except our parents and siblings at the hospital.

DS2 I had a few helpers as he needed special care for the first week in hospital but never asked or expected it at all.

Very rude to ask and expect it.

#19 CupOfCoffee

Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:08 AM

roll2.gif  Wow...

I understand some people like frozen meals after they give birth... but this list is something else...

Yep, that is why people want to visit you after you have a baby, to empty your trash, clean litter trays and cooking you soup after putting you to bed.

#20 casime

Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:11 AM

I'm really surprised they wasted so much time writing that note.  Wouldn't it have been easier to just send out a roster to let everyone know when they were expected and what their jobs were?

#21 Copacetic

Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:16 AM

I am relieved.  I almost expected to come back and see that someone had thought it was a great idea and was now preparing their list of things to do for friends.

#22 JJ

Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:17 AM

No, I wouldn't call it a great idea as such - the list is a bit offputting... but maybe people around them asked for very specific instructions on how to help?  shrug.gif Over the years I've seen that advice given to many new parents on EB - if someone offers you their help, tell them exactly what you need.

They are obviously taking it to extremes.

#23 JRA

Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:20 AM

Surely it is a joke

#24 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:24 AM

That can't be for real?  WOW.

#25 Broxie

Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:24 AM

When DS was born I sometimes asked my mum or my bestie to watch him while I had a shower and blow-dried my hair. I am now ashamed.

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