Jump to content

List of demands
Helping out with a new baby


  • Please log in to reply
73 replies to this topic

#1 Copacetic

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:34 AM

So this was actually sent to people. I got it from Gawker.com - reasonable or unreasonable?

QUOTE
We are beginning to settle into a routine with our sweet baby girl and have visitors. [Parent 1] and I put together a list of "helpfuls" if you would like to come over and help us out during this transitional period into parenthood. Please visit this google doc:

Dear friends and family,

The following helpful list are the kind things that we will remember and appreciate forever. This is what [Parent]'s body and soul needs, and will be most helpful for our bonding with the baby. By devoting just a few hours doing one of these things, we will get the support and rest we need with our newborn in the house.

Love,
[Two Chill Parents]

1. Ask us what groceries we need around the house and bring them to us. We likely need toilet paper and milk.

2. Drop off a big super greek salad with grilled chicken. We will dress it ourselves at home. Or, drop off frozen homemade food like lasagna we can reheat later.

*Allergies/intolerances include: Soy anything (including tempeh and tofu), carrageenan, guar gum, gum acacia, xanthan gum, carob bean gum (anything with the word GUM in it), lentils — Please read labels. Many of these ingredients are in store bought food.

3. Come over at about 2 in the afternoon, hold the baby while I have a hot shower, put me to bed with the baby and then complete one or more household chores, such as:
-fold laundry
-scoop the litter box
-take Lenny for a well deserved walk or run around the neighborhood or park
-clean the kitchen or the bathroom
-vacuum

4. Come over at 10am, make me eggs, toast, and ½ a grapefruit. Clean my fridge and throw anything out that you doubt — don't ask me, just use your best judgment. Clean the kitchen stove and the kitchen floor.

5. Come over in your work clothes and vacuum, dust, clean the litter box, and then leave quietly. It might be too tiring for me to chat and entertain, but it will renew my soul to get some rest knowing I will wake up to a clean, organized space.

6. Take [our dog] for a well-deserved long walk or run around our neighborhood or Prospect Park.

7. Come over to fold laundry or clean and give [Parent] a break so she can go enjoy some r & r, go to a coffee shop, a bar, or something else fun. Vacuum and fold more laundry. Clean the litter box.

8. Make a giant pot of vegetable soup in our kitchen and clean the kitchen completely afterwards. Then take a big garbage bag and empty every trash basket in the house. Reline the kitchen garbage can with a fresh bag.


FWIW, I'm glad I'm not her slave.

#2 PurpleNess

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:36 AM

WTF - perhaps it's there way to keep unwanted visitors away...it'd work!

#3 bakesgirls

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:40 AM

I think they will soon become a very lonely couple. Who in their right mind would go to their house, so they can be a dogs body to this entitled couple?!

#4 Guest_3Keiki_*

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:42 AM

again I say.... sweet baby jesus!
are peeps for real????
It is a baby, they are not battling some terrible disease!!!
I would happily do these things for a friend or loved one fighting cancer or similar but it is a BABY. Oh my god talk about entitlement

#5 casime

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:43 AM

Where is the task of pulling the poker out of her a*se?  

Surely these tasks are the role of their butler?

#6 Feral_Mumma

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:43 AM

QUOTE (PurpleNess @ 10/11/2012, 10:36 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
WTF - perhaps it's there way to keep unwanted visitors away...it'd work!


This!

As much as people might like to do these things for new parents, I wouldn't like to be told how I can help before I offer.

#7 Duck-o-lah

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:47 AM

9. Come over and wipe my a*se for me?!

I would go over and help a friend with a new baby anytime, but making a list of such specific demands? Unreal!

#8 SeaPrincess

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:47 AM

QUOTE (PurpleNess @ 10/11/2012, 08:36 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
WTF - perhaps it's there way to keep unwanted visitors away...it'd work!

My thoughts exactly!

#9 Squeekums Da Feral

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:50 AM

That is funny as!
Who ever would send that must be a 'lovely' person to be around!

#10 feralangel

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:50 AM

I can't stop laughing  roll2.gif this has to be a joke, right?

#11 Floral Arrangement

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:51 AM

snigger snigger this couple live in a totally different world to me, maybe this is the done thing in their circle of family and friends roll2.gif wacko.gif

#12 marnie27

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:51 AM

I just saw this on STFU Parents - it about sums it up for me except it should be STFU self entitled, egotistical w*n*er parents-to-be.

#13 JustBeige

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:56 AM

Someone has waaaay too much time on their hands for having a new baby.

I agree about the 'keeping people away' thing.

They may also be using it (in their self entitled delusional state) as a yardstick to see how many of their friends and family truly love them.  ie: If they stick to our list they must love us

I think I would just send them a card wishing them well and telling them I will stay out of their way till they are settled with their new LO.

Otherwise, anything I did for them would feel like duty or obligation and because "they" told me to. Not because I wanted to because I cared about them.

#14 niggles

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:57 AM

They sound like fun. As in, I'd have a lot of fun at their expense if I had the misfortune to call them friends.


#15 Epitome

Posted 10 November 2012 - 10:59 AM

I have a "friend" who is totally capable of pulling that type of bull

In fact, I completely expect to get a similar note next year when her next baby is due

She's also the same person who changes a baby's nappy on top of a restaurant table - (not 10 metres away from a beautifully equipped parents room) insists that all events revolve around her childs sleep schedule and told e my life was meaningless until I had children.

Some people are just a*holes

#16 kay11

Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:01 AM

I like how it was asking to clean the litter box. That surely has to be a joke. I just wouldn't think to ask anyone else to do that outside family.


I like how it also asked them to put her to bed with the baby. I don't think I've been put to bed since I was maybe 5yo?

#17 Gumbette

Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:04 AM

This is either a p*ss take or an ad for a full time housekeeper.

#18 ChickyMumma

Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:04 AM

QUOTE (natangel @ 10/11/2012, 11:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I can't stop laughing  roll2.gif this has to be a joke, right?



I am ROLFLMAO too. Seriously.

I had next to no help with DS1 and loved it. I liked being alone and having the house to myself. All I asked was for visitors to text or call DH before coming around and also asked for no visitors except our parents and siblings at the hospital.

DS2 I had a few helpers as he needed special care for the first week in hospital but never asked or expected it at all.

Very rude to ask and expect it.

#19 CupOfCoffee

Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:08 AM

roll2.gif  Wow...

I understand some people like frozen meals after they give birth... but this list is something else...

Yep, that is why people want to visit you after you have a baby, to empty your trash, clean litter trays and cooking you soup after putting you to bed.

#20 casime

Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:11 AM

I'm really surprised they wasted so much time writing that note.  Wouldn't it have been easier to just send out a roster to let everyone know when they were expected and what their jobs were?

#21 Copacetic

Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:16 AM

I am relieved.  I almost expected to come back and see that someone had thought it was a great idea and was now preparing their list of things to do for friends.



#22 JJ

Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:17 AM

No, I wouldn't call it a great idea as such - the list is a bit offputting... but maybe people around them asked for very specific instructions on how to help?  shrug.gif Over the years I've seen that advice given to many new parents on EB - if someone offers you their help, tell them exactly what you need.

They are obviously taking it to extremes.

#23 JRA

Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:20 AM

Surely it is a joke

#24 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:24 AM

That can't be for real?  WOW.

#25 Broxie

Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:24 AM

When DS was born I sometimes asked my mum or my bestie to watch him while I had a shower and blow-dried my hair. I am now ashamed.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

An open letter to Tony Abbott: please salvage our super

We face financial ruin, but most of us don?t realise it. If we don?t act together to salvage our superannuation, I have no doubt the new GFC will be the Girls? Financial Crisis.

'I'm happy to know I'm changing lives': surrogate mum of two

I know that once the baby is born, I will focus on the gift I have given, and watch the parents with their new child. I can't wait for that day.

Birth trauma and the issue of informed consent

There is a perception that women should just be happy they have a healthy baby in their arms. But for women who experienced birth trauma, there's a lot more to it.

Tips for managing pollen allergies and hayfever

They're simple tips, but they can have a big impact on those who suffer from hayfever and pollen allergies.

Ada Nicodemou shares tribute to her stillborn baby

Just over one month since Ada Nicodemou and her husband lost their second son, the Home and Away star has shared a touching poem for her baby.

Mum causes stir breastfeeding on train

?To the woman breastfeeding her kid on the train. Seriously! On the train?" began the letter of complaint.

10 things they don?t tell you about being pregnant

As I slowly waddle my ever-changing pregnant body towards the finishing line of my due date, it?s becoming increasingly clear there are a lot of things they just don?t tell you about pregnancy.

Overcoming a fear of the dark

A toddler's fear of the dark is very normal, but there are ways parents can help children through this stage in their development.

Kids, TV and movies: how young is too young?

It seems you don't have to throw the TV and iPad out the window - it all boils down to moderation, supervision and interaction.

Video: Baby's first birthday is a special day for mum, too

?A baby?s first birthday is also mum?s first birthday.?

The day Supernanny came to tea

Prince William's favourite celebrity child trainer Jo Frost puts Bryony Gordon and her toddler through their paces.

The words I hated hearing as new mum

It was less than a week after my son was born that I first heard it - from my mother.

To the pharmacist who sold me baby formula

On the rare occasion I catch sight of you at school, or around town, I think back to our earliest exchange. I?m sure you have no recollection of it at all.

Babies may benefit from autism therapy

Children showing signs of autism don't usually receive early intervention until well into toddlerhood or later, but a new study suggests infants with symptoms of the developmental disorder might benefit from therapy from as early as six months.

Knatalye and Adeline born with an everlasting bond

Knatalye Hope and Adeline Faith are a lot like any other identical twin girls, but there is one dramatic difference: they're joined at the chest and shares several internal organs.

The question this dad wishes he'd asked his wife

I should have seen that my wife wasn't the same person I'd fallen in love with, but we were both too focused on simply trying to get by.

Why we should talk about the deaths of the Hunt children

The deaths are too horrible even to think about. Yet we owe it to the children - Fletcher, Mia and Phoebe Hunt - to think long and hard about it all.

Baby dies of meningococcal weeks after vaccine application denied

A six-month-old girl has died from meningococcal disease just weeks after an application for government funding of a vaccine for the most deadly strain of the virus was rejected.

Finding the right balance when playing with your kids

Being too involved in our children?s play and not allowing our kids enough free time for unstructured activities can mean our kids miss out on the value that play offers.

Creative DIY light shades

The Pop Light light shade comes in a flat pack already made - it's up to you to design it as you'd like.

The battle of iParenting versus imagination

Have we forgotten how to be imaginative, resourceful parents?

Why movement is so important for your baby's growth

Letting your child move as much as possible in the early years ? using all senses, engaging in the real world, preferably outside ? will help them grow up healthier, smarter, calmer and stronger.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

Dying mum saves baby with last breath

Dying from a gunshot wound, Jessica Arrendale used the last of her energy to hide her baby from her killer.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Reader offer

2 FOR 1 TICKET OFFER

For Shopping, For Advice, For Baby & You. Enjoy a special day out with fabulous shopping from over 200 brands, leading parenting experts offering advice on a range of topics, and amazing children?s entertainment

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.