Jump to content

WWYD where is my DS update 30
when to start panicking?

  • Please log in to reply
68 replies to this topic

#1 I'msoMerry

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:35 AM

My DS is 18. Just got his licence on Tuesday.

Normally he rings to say if he is staying at a friends house. Never goes anywhere without telling me what he is doing. Does what he wants but is really courteous to me.
So last night he said he was staying home. At about 9.30 pm. I was dozing in front of tv, he says to me "I'm just going out for a little while" and is gone.

I wake up today and he is not here.

It has been raining all night. My little boy is now a P plater! Oh when do I start driving to all his friends houses? I have sent a couple of texts but no reply. I know if he is sleeping at a friends he wont hear his phone. Trying to stay calm.

Edited by michellew68, 10 November 2012 - 09:14 AM.

#2 scarfie

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:44 AM

It's so hard when they get to this age and independent.  

You know your DS and if you think that this is unusual behaviour for him, then you could start the phone around to his friends now.

Do try to stay calm though, teenagers don't appreciate overly upset mothers showing up at friends places.

Hoping your DS is ok.

#3 Caelani

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:45 AM

any word yet?? I'm sure all is fine but I can see why you're worried!
hopefully he was just being sensible & not driving while tired or after a few drinks & forgot to tell mum.

#4 nen-c

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:45 AM

Oh that is horrible - I don't think I have any answers but I just wanted to tell you as a teenager I did some unplanned 'sleepovers' at friend's houses and caused my parents lots of worry. I really hope he shows up soon.

#5 mama_mrs

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:45 AM

Does he have a girlfriend or a best friend? Do you know their parents? If you do, give them a call .... after 9am. My best friend's parents used to call my parents whenever they couldn't find her!

He'll turn up!

#6 Guest_Dinah_Harris_*

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:47 AM

I don't have teenagers, so feel free to ignore original.gif
But I'd wait until an hour that I knew he'd definitely be awake and ring then.  He might still be sleeping off a late night?
Hope everything is okay.

#7 Superman+4sisters

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:52 AM

Eek! How worrying. Chances are he's fine - I agree, after 9 is a good time to start calling him and his friend's places if you have their numbers.

He probably thinks he did the right thing by not calling you late at night to let you know he was staying out. That perception will be corrected very quickly when he gets home original.gif

I'll be stalking for updates hheart.gif

#8 GreenEgg

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:57 AM

Ring around his friends after 9 or so.

I hope you hear something soon!

#9 archythepeasant

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:01 AM

Will be stalking for updates, too.  My DS just got his licence, too, and last night did text me to say he'd be home later than expected, for which I was grateful - and surprised.  I more than half expected not to hear from him if he was late.

Agree with Caelini that he may have been sensible about not driving.  In Vic at least it's zero blood alcohol for P platers.  Also think that if he were not OK you would have heard by now.

#10 daisydo

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:06 AM

Yes perhaps now is a good time for the saying 'no news is good news'.

Hoping it all works out ok.

#11 I'msoMerry

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:12 AM

Thanks everyone for the support.
Havent heard anything yet.

I have no phone numbers. His best mate recently moved when his parents moved away. All the other boys I dont know parents but have picked him up at a couple of houses so could drive there.

He has a fairly new girlfriend but wouldnt stay at her house for various reasons.

Just waiting. I have been thinking for a while to ask for mates mobile nums but not sure if it would go down so well.

#12 Marchioness Flea

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:16 AM

Well, seeing as he has stayed out all night without word, he can give you the numbers or you take his keys away! Or something equally dire.
My thinking is if he lives in your house he abides by your rules, one of which should be telling you where he is and if he'll be home. He wants to be treated like an adult, he needs to act like one.

#13 qak

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:20 AM

So he is missing and it is out of character? But he was not driving?

#14 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:21 AM

Oh God OP, I hope he's just decided to stay somewhere because it was late, raining etc and didn't call because he didn't want to wake you up.

He sounds like a sensible young man, hopefully he'll wake up around midday and wonder what all the fuss was.

Will be thinking of you today, let us know when he gets in.

#15 idignantlyright

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:22 AM

If you paid for his car, then yes take away his keys. However if he bought it, nothing you can do.
He probably ran into a mate at the shop or something and fell asleep at his house.
Our DD18 has a mobile, and she just sms's us with where she is.

#16 I'msoMerry

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:27 AM

My other DS (15) is at his dads for the weekend.
I dont facebook but I will ring him and get him to check his brothers. Good idea!

His grandparents gave him the money for the car. Yes he was driving.

I also hope he will wake later and just say sorry mum. I will try not to be cross.

#17 JRA

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:29 AM

I can remember the first (and last) time I did similar. I was away at uni during the year and then home for the summer and just got my licence. My parents were not impressed. It is basic curtesy telling your parents when you are staying out etc and in todays day and age of phones.

It is not about controlling children, but just being nice.

OP you are allowed be cross when he gets home. I am sure he will be fine.

#18 Mocha Coffee

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:33 AM

I can imagine the worry.  Have you heard?

#19 idignantlyright

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:35 AM

Has he got a mobile?
If not, perhaps get him a cheap pre-paid one.
I know we are glad DD has hers. Especially the day she had an accident on the way home from work. She was able to ring her father who hadn't left yet(they both work at the same place) and he went and checked the car and made sure it was drivable. It was so minor that DH was able to knock it out, but at least she was able to ring.
It also gives us peace of mind when she is driving to and from training late at night.
I know it is worrying. Our almost 21yr old sent us an sms saying he was going to vanuatu the next day for 2wks and would ring us the following night. We didn't get a call until a week later. Now that was nerve wracking.

#20 shopalot33

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:39 AM

I have a 19 year old DD.  We have a rule that she always tells us where she's going when she's out at night and; if she's going to not be home, she has to let me know.  I used to tell her that I would text her one time in the night, just to make sure she was ok.  I told her that it was not because of any other reason than I would not be worried if I heard from her.  She was very understanding and happily just texted me back with a smile or "I'm all good."

Boys are probably different, but the principle remains the same: you just need to know that he is safe and, as you are the parent, no matter how old he is, it's ok to want to ensure his safety.  If only to ensure you don't go mad with worry.

I hope when he turns up that he understands this and, next time he changes his mind about coming home, at least sends you a quick text to let you know.

I agree with a PP that no news is good news.  If something terrible had happened, you would know about it by now.  He's probably sound asleep and completely oblivious to your worry!

Did your other DS manage to get a hold of him on FB?

#21 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:48 AM

Gosh how stressful! I hope he turns up soon.

I used to do something similar back in the day. It would be too late to come home and too late to ring, so I'd stay at a friend's house and call mum first thing in the morning to let her know I was okay.

Edited by Sunnycat, 10 November 2012 - 08:48 AM.

#22 I'msoMerry

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:50 AM

Nothing on facebook

#23 melaine

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:54 AM

QUOTE (Sunnycat @ 10/11/2012, 09:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Gosh how stressful! I hope he turns up soon.

I used to do something similar back in the day. It would be too late to come home and too late to ring, so I'd stay at a friend's house and call mum first thing in the morning to let her know I was okay.

Now I'm a parent I realise how much I must have worried my parents staying out all night without letting them know!

OP - Hope you hear from him soon.

Edited by undomesticmumma, 10 November 2012 - 08:55 AM.

#24 shopalot33

Posted 10 November 2012 - 09:03 AM

QUOTE (*magenta* @ 10/11/2012, 09:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
In what way?

Just that they may not be so happy for you to text them for checks whilst they are out.  I don't have boys, only girls, so I don't know.  Hence why I said "Boys are probably different".  My nephew is a bit younger than 18, but he's macho and independent and would be embarrassed if my sister was to text him to check where he was.  He loves and respects his mother, but he's much more independent.  I guess that's where I was coming from.

#25 Therese

Posted 10 November 2012 - 09:03 AM

I hope you hear from him soon OP.

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users


Newborn baby found in a nativity scene

Police are trying to trace a woman who abandoned a baby boy in the manger of a church nativity scene.

Life would be harder without my kids

The Humans of New York Facebook page is well known for sharing touching, real stories from one of the world's biggest cities – and it's just hit the heart of parents everywhere.

Mum dresses as Wonder Woman for last day of chemo

A Brisbane mum dressed up as a superhero to celebrate the end of her chemotherapy and created a moment her family will remember forever.

How a raisin can predict a toddler's IQ

All you need to assess a child's future intelligence is a plastic cup and a raisin, according to new research.

Former Hi-5 member's cannabis hope

Former Hi-5 star Tim Harding hopes a cannabis-derived drug will help control his daughter's epilepsy, which sees the four-year-old suffering between 50 and 100 seizures a day.

The top 5 reasons your toddler throws a tantrum

Whilst to the outside world little people may appear to have it easy, it's actually not always the case – just ask any toddler who's had their toast cut up the wrong way.

Glenn McGrath thought he'd lost his wife and baby

Australian cricket ledged Glen McGrath has spoken about the moment he thought he might lose his wife, Sara and their baby daughter, Madison.


Inside my Centrelink nightmare

Mother Bec Smith has been trying for months to access Centrelink payments. A "serious error" is preventing her.

Warnings over push for hourly childcare billing

Australia's peak childcare body has called for caution around the Turnbull government's push for childcare centres to charge parents by the hour, not by the day.

Cate Blanchett thought about adopting for years

Cate Blanchett says her recent adoption of a baby girl had nothing to do with wanting a daughter after having three sons.

Kate Walsh: 'I can't have kids'

Grey's Anatomy star Kate Walsh has revealed she is unable to have children because she has experienced early menopause.

The parasite that could boost fertility

The Tsimane women of Bolivia are often revered as among the most fertile in the world - on average having 10 children in their lifetimes -- but some are even more fertile than others.

Family may sue cousin over genetics

A Melbourne couple is suing the Royal Children's Hospital for failing to diagnose a genetic disorder in their first child - an error they allege caused them to have another child with severe disabilities.

Strange things mums have done in labour

While most women in labour focus on the upcoming birth of their baby, some women do more interesting things.

Michael Clarke reveals baby's name

When Michael Clarke said he was wrapped around the finger of his little princess, he wasn't joking.

The logistics of breastfeeding twins

Our life is more or less divided into neat four hour parcels of time and it's hard to get much of anything done in the time between feeds.

How to stop people ruining Christmas

We can make a conscious effort about how we react to those curly Christmas day scenarios that can send us up the wall, or should we say chimney.

Lots of formula offers for desperate mum

The mum who was down to her last three tins of baby formula said she had received hundreds of calls and offers to send her formula.

Surviving breast cancer while pregnant

It was last thing Rebecca O'Donnell expected at 30 weeks' pregnant. One morning, while putting on her bra, she felt a pea-sized lump in her right breast.

Cot sheet brands for the nursery

With so many awesome cot sheet options these days, we thought we'd put together a list of go-to brands for you to seek out for your baby's bed.


What's hot on EB

How I survived breast cancer while pregnant

It was last thing Rebecca O'Donnell expected at 30 weeks' pregnant. One morning, while putting on her bra, she felt a pea-sized lump in her right breast.

Grieving father's letter to Bataclan terrorists: "...this little boy will threaten you by being happy and free"

A grieving father whose wife was killed in the attacks on the Bataclan Theatre last weekend has written an open letter to her killers.

5 challenges of motherhood - and how to see them differently

Despite the smiles, the sloppy kisses and the pure magic children bring to our lives, it's hard to deny that motherhood can be tough.

4 challenges of being a new dad - and how to face them

Becoming a parent is challenging – and that applies to both mums and dads.

My battle against antenatal and postnatal depression

I was five months pregnant when I realised I needed help.

Children swapped at birth will not be returned to biological parents

A boy and girl accidentally swapped on the day they were born will stay with the families who have raised them, a South African court has ruled.

A quarter of men believe they get 'man periods'

A British study has revealed one in four men believe they have a monthly cycle.

Baby deposit

How much do you need to save for a 'baby deposit'?

It's fairly straightforward to calculate a house deposit, but how much money do you need to save up for a baby?

Dad's beautiful note to his wife, a nurse

To anyone else it might just look like a picture of a mum having a nap with her toddler.

'I was a complete schmuck': Mike Baird opens up about his wife's postnatal depression

When his wife Kerryn was not well following the birth of their daughter, NSW Premier Mike Baird buried himself in his work.

Mum's desperate plea as whooping cough alert issued

A desperate mother has shared a heart-breaking video of her baby struggling to cope with a coughing fit caused by pertussis.

Coffee could help you live longer

New US research found people who report drinking three to five cups of coffee a day are less likely to die prematurely from heart disease, suicide, diabetes or Parkinson's disease.

The joy and dread of playdates

To live vicariously through your child is to rediscover anxieties you thought dead and buried.

Sick baby could die without scarce special formula, mum says

Lizzie Cann is down to her last three tins of a special formula in short supply.

Adorable toddler's strop foiled by squeaky shoes

We're probably all familiar with the pouty bottom lip and tightly crossed arms of a tot mid-strop.

More sex during World Cup created more baby boys

More sex during South Africa's World Cup meant a disproportionately high number of boys were born nine months later, a new study has found.

Win one of two ABC Shop prize packs in time for Christmas

What a boon it would be to have your toddler's Christmas gifts covered this year. We have two awesome ABC Shop prize packs to give away to two lucky winners.

Do fitness challenges really work?

Fitness challenges aren't new. There's Michelle Bridges 12WBT and a bunch of other programs if you really want to lose weight.

What are pregnant women Googling?

Pregnancy is a huge change for any woman, so it's natural we'll have questions - and turn to Google to ask them.



Can't decide?

Check out the Essential Baby Names section for some inspiration

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.