Jump to content

WWYD where is my DS update 30
when to start panicking?


  • Please log in to reply
68 replies to this topic

#1 I'msoMerry

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:35 AM

My DS is 18. Just got his licence on Tuesday.

Normally he rings to say if he is staying at a friends house. Never goes anywhere without telling me what he is doing. Does what he wants but is really courteous to me.
So last night he said he was staying home. At about 9.30 pm. I was dozing in front of tv, he says to me "I'm just going out for a little while" and is gone.

I wake up today and he is not here.

It has been raining all night. My little boy is now a P plater! Oh when do I start driving to all his friends houses? I have sent a couple of texts but no reply. I know if he is sleeping at a friends he wont hear his phone. Trying to stay calm.

Edited by michellew68, 10 November 2012 - 09:14 AM.


#2 scarfie

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:44 AM

It's so hard when they get to this age and independent.  

You know your DS and if you think that this is unusual behaviour for him, then you could start the phone around to his friends now.

Do try to stay calm though, teenagers don't appreciate overly upset mothers showing up at friends places.

Hoping your DS is ok.


#3 Caelani

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:45 AM

any word yet?? I'm sure all is fine but I can see why you're worried!
hopefully he was just being sensible & not driving while tired or after a few drinks & forgot to tell mum.

#4 nen-c

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:45 AM

Oh that is horrible - I don't think I have any answers but I just wanted to tell you as a teenager I did some unplanned 'sleepovers' at friend's houses and caused my parents lots of worry. I really hope he shows up soon.

#5 mama_mrs

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:45 AM

Does he have a girlfriend or a best friend? Do you know their parents? If you do, give them a call .... after 9am. My best friend's parents used to call my parents whenever they couldn't find her!

He'll turn up!



#6 Guest_Dinah_Harris_*

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:47 AM

I don't have teenagers, so feel free to ignore original.gif
But I'd wait until an hour that I knew he'd definitely be awake and ring then.  He might still be sleeping off a late night?
Hope everything is okay.


#7 Superman+4sisters

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:52 AM

Eek! How worrying. Chances are he's fine - I agree, after 9 is a good time to start calling him and his friend's places if you have their numbers.

He probably thinks he did the right thing by not calling you late at night to let you know he was staying out. That perception will be corrected very quickly when he gets home original.gif

I'll be stalking for updates hheart.gif


#8 GreenEgg

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:57 AM

Ring around his friends after 9 or so.

I hope you hear something soon!

#9 archygrouseferal

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:01 AM

Will be stalking for updates, too.  My DS just got his licence, too, and last night did text me to say he'd be home later than expected, for which I was grateful - and surprised.  I more than half expected not to hear from him if he was late.

Agree with Caelini that he may have been sensible about not driving.  In Vic at least it's zero blood alcohol for P platers.  Also think that if he were not OK you would have heard by now.



#10 daisydo

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:06 AM

Yes perhaps now is a good time for the saying 'no news is good news'.

Hoping it all works out ok.

#11 I'msoMerry

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:12 AM

Thanks everyone for the support.
Havent heard anything yet.

I have no phone numbers. His best mate recently moved when his parents moved away. All the other boys I dont know parents but have picked him up at a couple of houses so could drive there.

He has a fairly new girlfriend but wouldnt stay at her house for various reasons.

Just waiting. I have been thinking for a while to ask for mates mobile nums but not sure if it would go down so well.

#12 Jenferal

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:16 AM

Well, seeing as he has stayed out all night without word, he can give you the numbers or you take his keys away! Or something equally dire.
My thinking is if he lives in your house he abides by your rules, one of which should be telling you where he is and if he'll be home. He wants to be treated like an adult, he needs to act like one.

#13 qak

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:20 AM

So he is missing and it is out of character? But he was not driving?

#14 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:21 AM

Oh God OP, I hope he's just decided to stay somewhere because it was late, raining etc and didn't call because he didn't want to wake you up.

He sounds like a sensible young man, hopefully he'll wake up around midday and wonder what all the fuss was.

Will be thinking of you today, let us know when he gets in.

#15 idignantlyright

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:22 AM

If you paid for his car, then yes take away his keys. However if he bought it, nothing you can do.
He probably ran into a mate at the shop or something and fell asleep at his house.
Our DD18 has a mobile, and she just sms's us with where she is.

#16 I'msoMerry

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:27 AM

My other DS (15) is at his dads for the weekend.
I dont facebook but I will ring him and get him to check his brothers. Good idea!

His grandparents gave him the money for the car. Yes he was driving.

I also hope he will wake later and just say sorry mum. I will try not to be cross.

#17 JRA

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:29 AM

I can remember the first (and last) time I did similar. I was away at uni during the year and then home for the summer and just got my licence. My parents were not impressed. It is basic curtesy telling your parents when you are staying out etc and in todays day and age of phones.

It is not about controlling children, but just being nice.

OP you are allowed be cross when he gets home. I am sure he will be fine.

#18 Mocha Coffee

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:33 AM

I can imagine the worry.  Have you heard?

#19 idignantlyright

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:35 AM

Has he got a mobile?
If not, perhaps get him a cheap pre-paid one.
I know we are glad DD has hers. Especially the day she had an accident on the way home from work. She was able to ring her father who hadn't left yet(they both work at the same place) and he went and checked the car and made sure it was drivable. It was so minor that DH was able to knock it out, but at least she was able to ring.
It also gives us peace of mind when she is driving to and from training late at night.
I know it is worrying. Our almost 21yr old sent us an sms saying he was going to vanuatu the next day for 2wks and would ring us the following night. We didn't get a call until a week later. Now that was nerve wracking.

#20 shopalot33

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:39 AM

I have a 19 year old DD.  We have a rule that she always tells us where she's going when she's out at night and; if she's going to not be home, she has to let me know.  I used to tell her that I would text her one time in the night, just to make sure she was ok.  I told her that it was not because of any other reason than I would not be worried if I heard from her.  She was very understanding and happily just texted me back with a smile or "I'm all good."

Boys are probably different, but the principle remains the same: you just need to know that he is safe and, as you are the parent, no matter how old he is, it's ok to want to ensure his safety.  If only to ensure you don't go mad with worry.

I hope when he turns up that he understands this and, next time he changes his mind about coming home, at least sends you a quick text to let you know.

I agree with a PP that no news is good news.  If something terrible had happened, you would know about it by now.  He's probably sound asleep and completely oblivious to your worry!

Did your other DS manage to get a hold of him on FB?



#21 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:48 AM

Gosh how stressful! I hope he turns up soon.

I used to do something similar back in the day. It would be too late to come home and too late to ring, so I'd stay at a friend's house and call mum first thing in the morning to let her know I was okay.

Edited by Sunnycat, 10 November 2012 - 08:48 AM.


#22 I'msoMerry

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:50 AM

Nothing on facebook

#23 melaine

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:54 AM

QUOTE (Sunnycat @ 10/11/2012, 09:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Gosh how stressful! I hope he turns up soon.

I used to do something similar back in the day. It would be too late to come home and too late to ring, so I'd stay at a friend's house and call mum first thing in the morning to let her know I was okay.



Now I'm a parent I realise how much I must have worried my parents staying out all night without letting them know!

OP - Hope you hear from him soon.

Edited by undomesticmumma, 10 November 2012 - 08:55 AM.


#24 shopalot33

Posted 10 November 2012 - 09:03 AM

QUOTE (*magenta* @ 10/11/2012, 09:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
In what way?


Just that they may not be so happy for you to text them for checks whilst they are out.  I don't have boys, only girls, so I don't know.  Hence why I said "Boys are probably different".  My nephew is a bit younger than 18, but he's macho and independent and would be embarrassed if my sister was to text him to check where he was.  He loves and respects his mother, but he's much more independent.  I guess that's where I was coming from.

#25 Therese

Posted 10 November 2012 - 09:03 AM

I hope you hear from him soon OP.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

Finding baby name inspiration in unusual places

Sometimes the greatest baby name ideas come from the most unexpected places, as these EB members show.

The case for inducing at 37 weeks

While we often think of pregnancy as a 40 week affair, experts agree that 37 weeks is actually “full term". So is there an argument for inducing all births at 37 weeks?

Does controlled crying really work?

Controlled-crying techniques may help some babies sleep through the night, but for many exhausted new parents, it's just a recipe for more tears all round.

How I taught my infant to use a toilet

As people become more aware of these benefits, I hope more parents will practice this method, so we can cut down on nappies and improve baby bonding.

'I thought it was impossible': Emily Symons pregnant at 45

Aussie actress Emily Symons has announced she is pregnant with her first baby.

Shallow water blackout kills fit, healthy dad

A little girl will grow up without her father after the fit and healthy 34-year-old passed away while doing something he had practised his whole life.

Afternoon naps may be bad for toddlers' sleep

You could be doing yourself a disservice by encouraging your toddler to have an afternoon nap, according to new research.

Best gifts for newborns, new mums and christenings

We've compiled a guide to some of the most popular presents for newborns and new mums, and for christenings and naming days.

Jaime King to be a mum again

Actress Jaime King is pregnant with her second child, giving 16-month-old James a sibling.

Nannies should receive government funding

The Abbott government should extend funding to nannies, and direct childcare payments to low and middle income families, a landmark study on childcare has found. 

Common skin irritations in newborns (and how to treat them)

As many as one in two newborn babies suffer from skin irritations in their first few weeks. So what are the most common rashes and irritations to look out for?

10 wall decals for the nursery or playroom

Wall decals are the answer to creating a beautiful nursery or children's space without lifting a paint brush, a spirit level or even a hammer.

Preschooler walks 2.4km home alone

Three-year-old Cain Trainor headed off home after his first day at a new preschool without telling anyone.

Video: Why mums get nothing done

In spite of being in an almost constant state of motion while looking after the kids and trying to keep things together at home, it can seem as though parents have managed to get nothing on the to-do list done by the end of the day.

The middle name game

The middle name is no longer an afterthought, and parents' inspiration comes from many places.

Have a baby or your money back - but there's a catch

A new IVF scheme offers couples the chance to fall pregnant and give birth - or get their money back. But there's more to it than you might think.

A rare glimpse inside the womb

A baby born still inside the amniotic sac gave US doctors a rare glimpse at life inside the womb.

Battered mum forced to write to her attacker ex in jail

Three years ago Jason Hughes viciously attacked his ex-partner. Now she has to write to him three times a year.

Woman pleads not guilty to ultrasound scam

A West Australian woman will fight allegations that she scammed expectant mums by selling them fake ultrasound pictures of babies.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Brain damaged mum receives compensation

A Sydney mother who suffered brain damage when she was hit by a car while pushing her newborn baby in a pram has reached a confidential out-of-court settlement with the driver's insurance company.

Indigenous midwives break down the barriers

A culturally sensitive midwifery service has gained the trust and respect of Aboriginal women.

The Katering Show's next big delivery

Most mums-to-be plan to take things easy and perhaps have a little break from work as the birth of their baby draws near. Not Kate McCartney.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

Why I have mixed feelings about Cindy Crawford's leaked photo

Last week an un-retouched photo of model Cindy Crawford surfaced, showing the 48-year-old mother-of -two posing in underwear.

How to create a Peppa Pig pancake

Thought your toddler could not love pancakes any more than they already do? How about if the breakfast treat came in the shape of every two-year-old's favourite cartoon character?

'It's a little life, not a little loss': pregnancy after miscarriage

I thought I was never going to be able to have a successful pregnancy. I decided that I wasn't going to form an emotional attachment with this baby.

Bonds Baby Search 2015: what you need to know

February 18 marks the start of one of the most prolific annual baby competitions in Australia: the Bonds Baby Search. And this year is going to be more special than ever.

Who will manage your Facebook account when you're gone?

This is not something that people like to talk about, but Facebook has announced that it will grant users more control over what happens to their pages after they die.

Struggling mum of four wins $188 million

Mother of four Marie Holmes was financially struggling after quitting her jobs at Walmart and McDonald's in order to care for her children.

Pregnant obese women a 'relatively new problem', coroner hears

A first-time mother whose daughter died hours after her frightening birth insists she was never told of the risks of being obese and pregnant.

'I'm angry as hell': the story behind mum's passionate vaccination plea

She has labelled parents who do not vaccinate their children "misinformed imbeciles" - and for that, she makes no apologies.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

8 different kinds of tantrums

I never thought I’d say this, but for a brief moment last week, Kim Kardashian and I had something in common: both our kids had public tantrums.

Polycystic ovary syndrome: symptoms, treatment and your fertility

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common female hormonal condition, affecting roughly one in 12 Australian women.

What's the best position for giving birth?

If doing it on your back is out, what's the best position for labour and birth?

Wife forgives snake catcher husband for car surprise

With Valentine's Day coming up, Nat Gilbert could be forgiven for thinking her husband might be planning a surprise for her.

Kids who meet milestones at their own pace

We usually only hear the success stories: tales of the two-year-old who’s talking, running and completely toilet trained. But other stories need to be told too.

Ruby shines as Bonds Baby

Sarah Kiss has a word of advice for proud mums and dads who are keen to enter their babies in this year's Bonds Baby Search Competition - just have fun.

Why dads should go to sleep school

If your family needs to go to sleep school, go with them. You are part of that family and you are part of the solution.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Win a KitchenAid Mixer

Let's celebrate 300,000 fans on Facebook

To celebrate, and to thank our amazing fans, we?re giving away a KitchenAid Artisan Tilt-Head Stand Mixer.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.