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WWYD where is my DS update 30
when to start panicking?

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#1 I'msoMerry

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:35 AM

My DS is 18. Just got his licence on Tuesday.

Normally he rings to say if he is staying at a friends house. Never goes anywhere without telling me what he is doing. Does what he wants but is really courteous to me.
So last night he said he was staying home. At about 9.30 pm. I was dozing in front of tv, he says to me "I'm just going out for a little while" and is gone.

I wake up today and he is not here.

It has been raining all night. My little boy is now a P plater! Oh when do I start driving to all his friends houses? I have sent a couple of texts but no reply. I know if he is sleeping at a friends he wont hear his phone. Trying to stay calm.

Edited by michellew68, 10 November 2012 - 09:14 AM.

#2 scarfie

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:44 AM

It's so hard when they get to this age and independent.  

You know your DS and if you think that this is unusual behaviour for him, then you could start the phone around to his friends now.

Do try to stay calm though, teenagers don't appreciate overly upset mothers showing up at friends places.

Hoping your DS is ok.

#3 Caelani

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:45 AM

any word yet?? I'm sure all is fine but I can see why you're worried!
hopefully he was just being sensible & not driving while tired or after a few drinks & forgot to tell mum.

#4 nen-c

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:45 AM

Oh that is horrible - I don't think I have any answers but I just wanted to tell you as a teenager I did some unplanned 'sleepovers' at friend's houses and caused my parents lots of worry. I really hope he shows up soon.

#5 mama_mrs

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:45 AM

Does he have a girlfriend or a best friend? Do you know their parents? If you do, give them a call .... after 9am. My best friend's parents used to call my parents whenever they couldn't find her!

He'll turn up!

#6 Guest_Dinah_Harris_*

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:47 AM

I don't have teenagers, so feel free to ignore original.gif
But I'd wait until an hour that I knew he'd definitely be awake and ring then.  He might still be sleeping off a late night?
Hope everything is okay.

#7 Superman+4sisters

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:52 AM

Eek! How worrying. Chances are he's fine - I agree, after 9 is a good time to start calling him and his friend's places if you have their numbers.

He probably thinks he did the right thing by not calling you late at night to let you know he was staying out. That perception will be corrected very quickly when he gets home original.gif

I'll be stalking for updates hheart.gif

#8 GreenEgg

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:57 AM

Ring around his friends after 9 or so.

I hope you hear something soon!

#9 archythepeasant

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:01 AM

Will be stalking for updates, too.  My DS just got his licence, too, and last night did text me to say he'd be home later than expected, for which I was grateful - and surprised.  I more than half expected not to hear from him if he was late.

Agree with Caelini that he may have been sensible about not driving.  In Vic at least it's zero blood alcohol for P platers.  Also think that if he were not OK you would have heard by now.

#10 daisydo

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:06 AM

Yes perhaps now is a good time for the saying 'no news is good news'.

Hoping it all works out ok.

#11 I'msoMerry

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:12 AM

Thanks everyone for the support.
Havent heard anything yet.

I have no phone numbers. His best mate recently moved when his parents moved away. All the other boys I dont know parents but have picked him up at a couple of houses so could drive there.

He has a fairly new girlfriend but wouldnt stay at her house for various reasons.

Just waiting. I have been thinking for a while to ask for mates mobile nums but not sure if it would go down so well.

#12 Marchioness Flea

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:16 AM

Well, seeing as he has stayed out all night without word, he can give you the numbers or you take his keys away! Or something equally dire.
My thinking is if he lives in your house he abides by your rules, one of which should be telling you where he is and if he'll be home. He wants to be treated like an adult, he needs to act like one.

#13 qak

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:20 AM

So he is missing and it is out of character? But he was not driving?

#14 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:21 AM

Oh God OP, I hope he's just decided to stay somewhere because it was late, raining etc and didn't call because he didn't want to wake you up.

He sounds like a sensible young man, hopefully he'll wake up around midday and wonder what all the fuss was.

Will be thinking of you today, let us know when he gets in.

#15 idignantlyright

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:22 AM

If you paid for his car, then yes take away his keys. However if he bought it, nothing you can do.
He probably ran into a mate at the shop or something and fell asleep at his house.
Our DD18 has a mobile, and she just sms's us with where she is.

#16 I'msoMerry

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:27 AM

My other DS (15) is at his dads for the weekend.
I dont facebook but I will ring him and get him to check his brothers. Good idea!

His grandparents gave him the money for the car. Yes he was driving.

I also hope he will wake later and just say sorry mum. I will try not to be cross.

#17 JRA

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:29 AM

I can remember the first (and last) time I did similar. I was away at uni during the year and then home for the summer and just got my licence. My parents were not impressed. It is basic curtesy telling your parents when you are staying out etc and in todays day and age of phones.

It is not about controlling children, but just being nice.

OP you are allowed be cross when he gets home. I am sure he will be fine.

#18 Mocha Coffee

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:33 AM

I can imagine the worry.  Have you heard?

#19 idignantlyright

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:35 AM

Has he got a mobile?
If not, perhaps get him a cheap pre-paid one.
I know we are glad DD has hers. Especially the day she had an accident on the way home from work. She was able to ring her father who hadn't left yet(they both work at the same place) and he went and checked the car and made sure it was drivable. It was so minor that DH was able to knock it out, but at least she was able to ring.
It also gives us peace of mind when she is driving to and from training late at night.
I know it is worrying. Our almost 21yr old sent us an sms saying he was going to vanuatu the next day for 2wks and would ring us the following night. We didn't get a call until a week later. Now that was nerve wracking.

#20 shopalot33

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:39 AM

I have a 19 year old DD.  We have a rule that she always tells us where she's going when she's out at night and; if she's going to not be home, she has to let me know.  I used to tell her that I would text her one time in the night, just to make sure she was ok.  I told her that it was not because of any other reason than I would not be worried if I heard from her.  She was very understanding and happily just texted me back with a smile or "I'm all good."

Boys are probably different, but the principle remains the same: you just need to know that he is safe and, as you are the parent, no matter how old he is, it's ok to want to ensure his safety.  If only to ensure you don't go mad with worry.

I hope when he turns up that he understands this and, next time he changes his mind about coming home, at least sends you a quick text to let you know.

I agree with a PP that no news is good news.  If something terrible had happened, you would know about it by now.  He's probably sound asleep and completely oblivious to your worry!

Did your other DS manage to get a hold of him on FB?

#21 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:48 AM

Gosh how stressful! I hope he turns up soon.

I used to do something similar back in the day. It would be too late to come home and too late to ring, so I'd stay at a friend's house and call mum first thing in the morning to let her know I was okay.

Edited by Sunnycat, 10 November 2012 - 08:48 AM.

#22 I'msoMerry

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:50 AM

Nothing on facebook

#23 melaine

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:54 AM

QUOTE (Sunnycat @ 10/11/2012, 09:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Gosh how stressful! I hope he turns up soon.

I used to do something similar back in the day. It would be too late to come home and too late to ring, so I'd stay at a friend's house and call mum first thing in the morning to let her know I was okay.

Now I'm a parent I realise how much I must have worried my parents staying out all night without letting them know!

OP - Hope you hear from him soon.

Edited by undomesticmumma, 10 November 2012 - 08:55 AM.

#24 shopalot33

Posted 10 November 2012 - 09:03 AM

QUOTE (*magenta* @ 10/11/2012, 09:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
In what way?

Just that they may not be so happy for you to text them for checks whilst they are out.  I don't have boys, only girls, so I don't know.  Hence why I said "Boys are probably different".  My nephew is a bit younger than 18, but he's macho and independent and would be embarrassed if my sister was to text him to check where he was.  He loves and respects his mother, but he's much more independent.  I guess that's where I was coming from.

#25 Therese

Posted 10 November 2012 - 09:03 AM

I hope you hear from him soon OP.

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