Jump to content

WWYD where is my DS update 30
when to start panicking?


  • Please log in to reply
68 replies to this topic

#1 I'msoMerry

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:35 AM

My DS is 18. Just got his licence on Tuesday.

Normally he rings to say if he is staying at a friends house. Never goes anywhere without telling me what he is doing. Does what he wants but is really courteous to me.
So last night he said he was staying home. At about 9.30 pm. I was dozing in front of tv, he says to me "I'm just going out for a little while" and is gone.

I wake up today and he is not here.

It has been raining all night. My little boy is now a P plater! Oh when do I start driving to all his friends houses? I have sent a couple of texts but no reply. I know if he is sleeping at a friends he wont hear his phone. Trying to stay calm.

Edited by michellew68, 10 November 2012 - 09:14 AM.


#2 scarfie

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:44 AM

It's so hard when they get to this age and independent.  

You know your DS and if you think that this is unusual behaviour for him, then you could start the phone around to his friends now.

Do try to stay calm though, teenagers don't appreciate overly upset mothers showing up at friends places.

Hoping your DS is ok.


#3 Caelani

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:45 AM

any word yet?? I'm sure all is fine but I can see why you're worried!
hopefully he was just being sensible & not driving while tired or after a few drinks & forgot to tell mum.

#4 nen-c

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:45 AM

Oh that is horrible - I don't think I have any answers but I just wanted to tell you as a teenager I did some unplanned 'sleepovers' at friend's houses and caused my parents lots of worry. I really hope he shows up soon.

#5 mama_mrs

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:45 AM

Does he have a girlfriend or a best friend? Do you know their parents? If you do, give them a call .... after 9am. My best friend's parents used to call my parents whenever they couldn't find her!

He'll turn up!



#6 Guest_Dinah_Harris_*

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:47 AM

I don't have teenagers, so feel free to ignore original.gif
But I'd wait until an hour that I knew he'd definitely be awake and ring then.  He might still be sleeping off a late night?
Hope everything is okay.


#7 Superman+4sisters

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:52 AM

Eek! How worrying. Chances are he's fine - I agree, after 9 is a good time to start calling him and his friend's places if you have their numbers.

He probably thinks he did the right thing by not calling you late at night to let you know he was staying out. That perception will be corrected very quickly when he gets home original.gif

I'll be stalking for updates hheart.gif


#8 GreenEgg

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:57 AM

Ring around his friends after 9 or so.

I hope you hear something soon!

#9 archygrouseferal

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:01 AM

Will be stalking for updates, too.  My DS just got his licence, too, and last night did text me to say he'd be home later than expected, for which I was grateful - and surprised.  I more than half expected not to hear from him if he was late.

Agree with Caelini that he may have been sensible about not driving.  In Vic at least it's zero blood alcohol for P platers.  Also think that if he were not OK you would have heard by now.



#10 daisydo

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:06 AM

Yes perhaps now is a good time for the saying 'no news is good news'.

Hoping it all works out ok.

#11 I'msoMerry

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:12 AM

Thanks everyone for the support.
Havent heard anything yet.

I have no phone numbers. His best mate recently moved when his parents moved away. All the other boys I dont know parents but have picked him up at a couple of houses so could drive there.

He has a fairly new girlfriend but wouldnt stay at her house for various reasons.

Just waiting. I have been thinking for a while to ask for mates mobile nums but not sure if it would go down so well.

#12 Jenferal

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:16 AM

Well, seeing as he has stayed out all night without word, he can give you the numbers or you take his keys away! Or something equally dire.
My thinking is if he lives in your house he abides by your rules, one of which should be telling you where he is and if he'll be home. He wants to be treated like an adult, he needs to act like one.

#13 qak

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:20 AM

So he is missing and it is out of character? But he was not driving?

#14 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:21 AM

Oh God OP, I hope he's just decided to stay somewhere because it was late, raining etc and didn't call because he didn't want to wake you up.

He sounds like a sensible young man, hopefully he'll wake up around midday and wonder what all the fuss was.

Will be thinking of you today, let us know when he gets in.

#15 idignantlyright

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:22 AM

If you paid for his car, then yes take away his keys. However if he bought it, nothing you can do.
He probably ran into a mate at the shop or something and fell asleep at his house.
Our DD18 has a mobile, and she just sms's us with where she is.

#16 I'msoMerry

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:27 AM

My other DS (15) is at his dads for the weekend.
I dont facebook but I will ring him and get him to check his brothers. Good idea!

His grandparents gave him the money for the car. Yes he was driving.

I also hope he will wake later and just say sorry mum. I will try not to be cross.

#17 JRA

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:29 AM

I can remember the first (and last) time I did similar. I was away at uni during the year and then home for the summer and just got my licence. My parents were not impressed. It is basic curtesy telling your parents when you are staying out etc and in todays day and age of phones.

It is not about controlling children, but just being nice.

OP you are allowed be cross when he gets home. I am sure he will be fine.

#18 Mocha Coffee

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:33 AM

I can imagine the worry.  Have you heard?

#19 idignantlyright

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:35 AM

Has he got a mobile?
If not, perhaps get him a cheap pre-paid one.
I know we are glad DD has hers. Especially the day she had an accident on the way home from work. She was able to ring her father who hadn't left yet(they both work at the same place) and he went and checked the car and made sure it was drivable. It was so minor that DH was able to knock it out, but at least she was able to ring.
It also gives us peace of mind when she is driving to and from training late at night.
I know it is worrying. Our almost 21yr old sent us an sms saying he was going to vanuatu the next day for 2wks and would ring us the following night. We didn't get a call until a week later. Now that was nerve wracking.

#20 shopalot33

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:39 AM

I have a 19 year old DD.  We have a rule that she always tells us where she's going when she's out at night and; if she's going to not be home, she has to let me know.  I used to tell her that I would text her one time in the night, just to make sure she was ok.  I told her that it was not because of any other reason than I would not be worried if I heard from her.  She was very understanding and happily just texted me back with a smile or "I'm all good."

Boys are probably different, but the principle remains the same: you just need to know that he is safe and, as you are the parent, no matter how old he is, it's ok to want to ensure his safety.  If only to ensure you don't go mad with worry.

I hope when he turns up that he understands this and, next time he changes his mind about coming home, at least sends you a quick text to let you know.

I agree with a PP that no news is good news.  If something terrible had happened, you would know about it by now.  He's probably sound asleep and completely oblivious to your worry!

Did your other DS manage to get a hold of him on FB?



#21 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:48 AM

Gosh how stressful! I hope he turns up soon.

I used to do something similar back in the day. It would be too late to come home and too late to ring, so I'd stay at a friend's house and call mum first thing in the morning to let her know I was okay.

Edited by Sunnycat, 10 November 2012 - 08:48 AM.


#22 I'msoMerry

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:50 AM

Nothing on facebook

#23 melaine

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:54 AM

QUOTE (Sunnycat @ 10/11/2012, 09:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Gosh how stressful! I hope he turns up soon.

I used to do something similar back in the day. It would be too late to come home and too late to ring, so I'd stay at a friend's house and call mum first thing in the morning to let her know I was okay.



Now I'm a parent I realise how much I must have worried my parents staying out all night without letting them know!

OP - Hope you hear from him soon.

Edited by undomesticmumma, 10 November 2012 - 08:55 AM.


#24 shopalot33

Posted 10 November 2012 - 09:03 AM

QUOTE (*magenta* @ 10/11/2012, 09:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
In what way?


Just that they may not be so happy for you to text them for checks whilst they are out.  I don't have boys, only girls, so I don't know.  Hence why I said "Boys are probably different".  My nephew is a bit younger than 18, but he's macho and independent and would be embarrassed if my sister was to text him to check where he was.  He loves and respects his mother, but he's much more independent.  I guess that's where I was coming from.

#25 Therese

Posted 10 November 2012 - 09:03 AM

I hope you hear from him soon OP.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Five-year-old shoots nine-month-old brother dead

A nine-month-old baby boy died on Monday after he was shot in the head by his five-year-old brother in their grandfather's home.

'Is that baby yours?'

She is my daughter. I gave birth to her. I nurse her. But she doesn't have any of my genes.

Episiotomy in childbirth: not just 'a little snip'

Episiotomies have a place in maternity care – and can occasionally save lives – but should not be performed routinely.

Toddler aggression not caused by language delays after all: study

The logic was that children who don’t have the language to fully express themselves will lash out when they’re misunderstood. Not anymore.

Why we chose to adopt a child with Down sydrome

Everyone in foster care (and really in life) has something that makes them more vulnerable. We just know what our son's is.

Object of desire

Curvy mums make clever babies

Scientists appear to have discovered why women have evolved to have more curves than men – shapely thighs and bottoms lead to healthier babies.

'We'll make sure they know how much she loved them'

A first-time mum will never get to hold her four newborns, dying shortly after giving birth to the quadruplets.

The baby names NZ knocked back in 2014

A New Zealander has tried to name their baby Senior Constable but didn't get away with it - and numbering children is also a no-no.

How can you go into labour without knowing you're pregnant?

For most of us, the idea that a woman could carry a child to full-term without knowing she is pregnant is mind-boggling.

Will you get to the hospital in time?

Worrying your baby will be delivered by the roadside is a common concern for many mothers-to-be. So how likely are you to be caught short?

Video: Funny 'Lips Are Moving' parody just for mums

Meghan Trainor's song 'Lips Are Moving' was already a hit, but now it's been turned into a hilarious parody that is set to be very popular with frustrated mums everywhere.

Out with the clutter

Decluttering by the numbers: take the 30-day challenge

Forget the 5:2 diet - Twitter's 30-day declutter challenge will have your house back in shape in no time (well, a month).

Parents, don't be too hard on yourselves

We need to stop damning parents of today, and embrace their appetite for knowledge instead.

Is my baby normal?

There are chubby Buddha babies and there are thin, smaller babies. Neither are right or wrong, they are all 'normal'.

When an older sibling starts school

When one child goes to ‘big school’ and leaves the other behind, it can cause deep upset. Here's how to make the transition easier.

Stray cat saves abandoned baby

They say dogs are man's best friend, but one cat has proven felines can be just as devoted to their human companions.

How strangers are helping a mum's wish come true after her death

A mum of five, Liz Marquez wanted to breastfeed her premmie son for a year. So when she passed away suddenly, her friends - and strangers - stepped in to help.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

Win with The Boxtrolls

To celebrate the release of The Boxtrolls on 3D Blu-ray, DVD & Digital with UltraViolet, we're giving you the chance to win a Boxtroll stationary package and DVD.

 

School Term 1

Get after-school care sorted

Wait lists too long at OSHC? Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.