Jump to content

WWYD where is my DS update 30
when to start panicking?


  • Please log in to reply
68 replies to this topic

#1 I'msoMerry

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:35 AM

My DS is 18. Just got his licence on Tuesday.

Normally he rings to say if he is staying at a friends house. Never goes anywhere without telling me what he is doing. Does what he wants but is really courteous to me.
So last night he said he was staying home. At about 9.30 pm. I was dozing in front of tv, he says to me "I'm just going out for a little while" and is gone.

I wake up today and he is not here.

It has been raining all night. My little boy is now a P plater! Oh when do I start driving to all his friends houses? I have sent a couple of texts but no reply. I know if he is sleeping at a friends he wont hear his phone. Trying to stay calm.

Edited by michellew68, 10 November 2012 - 09:14 AM.


#2 scarfie

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:44 AM

It's so hard when they get to this age and independent.  

You know your DS and if you think that this is unusual behaviour for him, then you could start the phone around to his friends now.

Do try to stay calm though, teenagers don't appreciate overly upset mothers showing up at friends places.

Hoping your DS is ok.


#3 Caelani

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:45 AM

any word yet?? I'm sure all is fine but I can see why you're worried!
hopefully he was just being sensible & not driving while tired or after a few drinks & forgot to tell mum.

#4 nen-c

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:45 AM

Oh that is horrible - I don't think I have any answers but I just wanted to tell you as a teenager I did some unplanned 'sleepovers' at friend's houses and caused my parents lots of worry. I really hope he shows up soon.

#5 mama_mrs

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:45 AM

Does he have a girlfriend or a best friend? Do you know their parents? If you do, give them a call .... after 9am. My best friend's parents used to call my parents whenever they couldn't find her!

He'll turn up!



#6 Guest_Dinah_Harris_*

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:47 AM

I don't have teenagers, so feel free to ignore original.gif
But I'd wait until an hour that I knew he'd definitely be awake and ring then.  He might still be sleeping off a late night?
Hope everything is okay.


#7 Superman+4sisters

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:52 AM

Eek! How worrying. Chances are he's fine - I agree, after 9 is a good time to start calling him and his friend's places if you have their numbers.

He probably thinks he did the right thing by not calling you late at night to let you know he was staying out. That perception will be corrected very quickly when he gets home original.gif

I'll be stalking for updates hheart.gif


#8 GreenEgg

Posted 10 November 2012 - 07:57 AM

Ring around his friends after 9 or so.

I hope you hear something soon!

#9 archygrouseferal

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:01 AM

Will be stalking for updates, too.  My DS just got his licence, too, and last night did text me to say he'd be home later than expected, for which I was grateful - and surprised.  I more than half expected not to hear from him if he was late.

Agree with Caelini that he may have been sensible about not driving.  In Vic at least it's zero blood alcohol for P platers.  Also think that if he were not OK you would have heard by now.



#10 daisydo

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:06 AM

Yes perhaps now is a good time for the saying 'no news is good news'.

Hoping it all works out ok.

#11 I'msoMerry

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:12 AM

Thanks everyone for the support.
Havent heard anything yet.

I have no phone numbers. His best mate recently moved when his parents moved away. All the other boys I dont know parents but have picked him up at a couple of houses so could drive there.

He has a fairly new girlfriend but wouldnt stay at her house for various reasons.

Just waiting. I have been thinking for a while to ask for mates mobile nums but not sure if it would go down so well.

#12 Jenferal

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:16 AM

Well, seeing as he has stayed out all night without word, he can give you the numbers or you take his keys away! Or something equally dire.
My thinking is if he lives in your house he abides by your rules, one of which should be telling you where he is and if he'll be home. He wants to be treated like an adult, he needs to act like one.

#13 qak

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:20 AM

So he is missing and it is out of character? But he was not driving?

#14 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:21 AM

Oh God OP, I hope he's just decided to stay somewhere because it was late, raining etc and didn't call because he didn't want to wake you up.

He sounds like a sensible young man, hopefully he'll wake up around midday and wonder what all the fuss was.

Will be thinking of you today, let us know when he gets in.

#15 idignantlyright

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:22 AM

If you paid for his car, then yes take away his keys. However if he bought it, nothing you can do.
He probably ran into a mate at the shop or something and fell asleep at his house.
Our DD18 has a mobile, and she just sms's us with where she is.

#16 I'msoMerry

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:27 AM

My other DS (15) is at his dads for the weekend.
I dont facebook but I will ring him and get him to check his brothers. Good idea!

His grandparents gave him the money for the car. Yes he was driving.

I also hope he will wake later and just say sorry mum. I will try not to be cross.

#17 JRA

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:29 AM

I can remember the first (and last) time I did similar. I was away at uni during the year and then home for the summer and just got my licence. My parents were not impressed. It is basic curtesy telling your parents when you are staying out etc and in todays day and age of phones.

It is not about controlling children, but just being nice.

OP you are allowed be cross when he gets home. I am sure he will be fine.

#18 Mocha Coffee

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:33 AM

I can imagine the worry.  Have you heard?

#19 idignantlyright

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:35 AM

Has he got a mobile?
If not, perhaps get him a cheap pre-paid one.
I know we are glad DD has hers. Especially the day she had an accident on the way home from work. She was able to ring her father who hadn't left yet(they both work at the same place) and he went and checked the car and made sure it was drivable. It was so minor that DH was able to knock it out, but at least she was able to ring.
It also gives us peace of mind when she is driving to and from training late at night.
I know it is worrying. Our almost 21yr old sent us an sms saying he was going to vanuatu the next day for 2wks and would ring us the following night. We didn't get a call until a week later. Now that was nerve wracking.

#20 shopalot33

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:39 AM

I have a 19 year old DD.  We have a rule that she always tells us where she's going when she's out at night and; if she's going to not be home, she has to let me know.  I used to tell her that I would text her one time in the night, just to make sure she was ok.  I told her that it was not because of any other reason than I would not be worried if I heard from her.  She was very understanding and happily just texted me back with a smile or "I'm all good."

Boys are probably different, but the principle remains the same: you just need to know that he is safe and, as you are the parent, no matter how old he is, it's ok to want to ensure his safety.  If only to ensure you don't go mad with worry.

I hope when he turns up that he understands this and, next time he changes his mind about coming home, at least sends you a quick text to let you know.

I agree with a PP that no news is good news.  If something terrible had happened, you would know about it by now.  He's probably sound asleep and completely oblivious to your worry!

Did your other DS manage to get a hold of him on FB?



#21 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:48 AM

Gosh how stressful! I hope he turns up soon.

I used to do something similar back in the day. It would be too late to come home and too late to ring, so I'd stay at a friend's house and call mum first thing in the morning to let her know I was okay.

Edited by Sunnycat, 10 November 2012 - 08:48 AM.


#22 I'msoMerry

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:50 AM

Nothing on facebook

#23 melaine

Posted 10 November 2012 - 08:54 AM

QUOTE (Sunnycat @ 10/11/2012, 09:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Gosh how stressful! I hope he turns up soon.

I used to do something similar back in the day. It would be too late to come home and too late to ring, so I'd stay at a friend's house and call mum first thing in the morning to let her know I was okay.



Now I'm a parent I realise how much I must have worried my parents staying out all night without letting them know!

OP - Hope you hear from him soon.

Edited by undomesticmumma, 10 November 2012 - 08:55 AM.


#24 shopalot33

Posted 10 November 2012 - 09:03 AM

QUOTE (*magenta* @ 10/11/2012, 09:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
In what way?


Just that they may not be so happy for you to text them for checks whilst they are out.  I don't have boys, only girls, so I don't know.  Hence why I said "Boys are probably different".  My nephew is a bit younger than 18, but he's macho and independent and would be embarrassed if my sister was to text him to check where he was.  He loves and respects his mother, but he's much more independent.  I guess that's where I was coming from.

#25 Therese

Posted 10 November 2012 - 09:03 AM

I hope you hear from him soon OP.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Teaching our son to say no to violence against women

Today, on White Ribbon Day - and every other day - we're teaching our son to say no to violence against women.

Mothers told to breastfeed in 'spacious' toilet

If there is one thing the owners of Tillings Cafe can be certain of, it is that the eatery won't win the award for Britain's best baby-friendly coffee shop any time soon.

Mother gives name to son dumped down drain

A woman who admitted to dumping her newborn baby down a Sydney drain has reportedly been allowed to give him a name.

Taking small steps to reduce stress

Are you feeling used up by life's stress, family problems and a demanding job you can't turn off? Many people are way beyond work-life exhaustion. They are functioning as robots.

Bad news: we're running out of chocolate

The world's biggest chocolate-maker says we're running out of chocolate.

Born at 23 weeks, 'Chopstick Baby' survives first week

A baby who was born at 23 weeks has survived her first week of life outside the womb.

Manic stations: the nesting instinct in pregnancy

It might sound like temporary insanity, but almost obsessive nesting as you near your due date isn’t uncommon – even if you’re not usually a particularly clean person.

How a baby can survive alone for days on end

The baby found abandoned in a Sydney drain may have been alone for up to six days without being fed, leaving many asking how he could have survived.

When it begins to look a lot like Christmas

A child's excitement at Christmas time is a beautiful thing, but one dad ponders whether his toddler daughter is getting into the festive mood a bit too soon.

Hospital lets dads the experience some of the pain of childbirth

A new experience is radically altering men's views of childbirth.

Italian doctors questioned over formula bribes

Italian police have placed 12 doctors under house arrest on suspicion of promoting baby milk formula over breastfeeding.

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Those special moments of sibling bonding

Every now and then your child does or says something that is truly memorable.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Baby monitor footage posted online

Footage of Australian babies and children sleeping in their bedrooms are among the images on a Russian site showing live feeds from thousands of homes and businesses around the world.

Did this new dad really hit on his wife's midwife?

Was there really a man who was actually there by his wife’s side as she laboured and gave birth to his child, all while he was making what he perceived to be meaningful eye contact with a midwife?

Keep calm and ignore the Tantrum Trolls

Tantrum Trolls are a small but growing species of predatory bottom-feeders who delight in picking on parents at their most vulnerable.

It's okay to never 'get over' the death of a loved one

The death of children, siblings, and parents has long term impacts on the rest of our lives.

What Mark Latham needs to know about depression and motherhood

Love has nothing to do with mental illness. But love may drive a mother to do something about it.

'We're just trying to keep our child alive': life with FPIES

We have a beautiful seven-month-old son, and his allergy rules our life.

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong'

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reactions to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

Twin brothers have become dads on the same day ? with their partners giving birth in the same hospital, and even the same birthing pool.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.