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Partly vent/ Partly WDYT?
13 replies to this topic
Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:35 PM
Just feel so blah this afternoon, trying to buy a present for my grandfathers 80th this weekend. He is very ill and likely wont be with us much longer, i am cose to him DS adores him and i am just feeling really sad at the reality that this will likely be his last birthday. Anyway every birthday card i picked up had well wishes for the year ahead ect ect. I just found myself thinking 'he doesn't have a year' and DS decided today was the day to scream the shop down in the pram. It took all the strength i had not to burst into tear in the middle of the shop.
Anyway enough of my pity party. I ended up geting a blank card with a nice picture on the front and am yet to find a gift. We usualy only get something small, he has a sweet tooth and i would normally buy him some chocolates or sweets but he is unable to eat alot of solids pretty much is on puree's and protein drinks. So to the WDYT part i was thinking that i could get him some chocolate mousse and wrap it up instead as a treat and just get DS to paint a picture as well. Is this a silly idea, is givng him a puree desert just reminding him and everyone else how ill he is or do you think its ok?
Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:38 PM
I think that would be great. Get enough for you and DS, and all three of you sit there and enjoy the chocolate mousse together.
Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:41 PM
If he hasn't had anything nice to eat lately, I would imagine he'd appreciate chocolate mousse. But if you don't want to go there, what about some of his favourite type of music, or a photo of you and/or DS, to put by his bed?
Sorry that you're feeling down, hope you all have a festive a birthday as it can be.
Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:42 PM
Depending on what you want to spend, how about a digital photo frame and you put a disk full of family photos on there. We did this for my grandmother when she was in the hospital towards the end, and she thought it was wonderful as she could just watch the photos.
Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:43 PM
I think if you think he would like that it is a lovely present. Perhaps also give him some nice smelling toilettries. I remember when my Grandmother was in a nursing home and was virtually bed bound. I wasn't sure what to give her so asked the Director of Nursing - she suggested some nice talc powder or some nice perfume/body spray that they could use when giving her a wash in bed.
Hope he has a lovely birthday.
Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:44 PM
I like the chocolate mousse and the digital photo frame ideas.
Sorry to hear you're going through a hard time
Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:50 PM
My boys make birthday cards for close family. And now my older son can write, he writes inside. My parents, siblings, ils love receiving their hand made cards.
Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:55 PM
If you feel funny about getting him mousse, maybe some chocolate like Lindt would be ok? The melt in your mouth kind of chocolate may be safe for him to eat.
I'm so sorry he's sick, but it sounds like he'll have a lovely birthday if his family are as caring as you
Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:56 PM
Is there anything that your grandfather needs that could make him more comfortable (I assume he is at a rest home?) like a gorgeous pillow for his bed, or a lovely blanket for his bed, or a pair of super comfy PJ's?
I love the idea of the chocolate mousse - get enough for the 3 of you and have a mousse picnic!
Maybe also write him a letter telling him how much you love him and some of your face memories together - this will make sure he knows he won't be forgotten.
Best of luck - it's hard going through the process of losing a loved one.
Posted 09 November 2012 - 04:47 PM
Thanks. He is being cared for at home as he rally HATES the hospital. He still has my grandmother who lives with him and his children/ grandchildren nearby and has a pallative nurse come to the house, oxygen at home ect. I think i will get the mousse (just in case he can't manage even the soft chocolate), get DS to draw a picture for him and get something else. Might try and find one of those neck travel pillows as he naps alot sitting up in his recliner chair.
Posted 09 November 2012 - 07:04 PM
The RAC and Kathmandu have those neck pillows.
I have the Kathmandu ones that have double use - they are the U shape or you unzip the side and they become a rectangle pillow!!!
Posted 09 November 2012 - 07:08 PM
I think that your ideas sound great. I hope he has a lovely birthday.
Posted 09 November 2012 - 07:35 PM
Thanks elle. I will try Kathmandu tommorrow. It will be more useful if he can use it both ways.
I too hope he has a lovely birthday with all of us family and his close friends. He is such a gentle soul, always asking after others and telling stories. I feel really lucky to have him and so glad my DS has him as a great grandfather.
Posted 09 November 2012 - 07:42 PM
If you have a photo of you, DS and your Grandfather what about getting that framed and giving it to him.
My grandmother was in her late 80's this year, and like you I felt none of the cards were appropriate so I got DS to pick one out. It was totally inappropriate, wasn't even a birthday card, but my Nan thought it was fantastic because DS picked it out especially for her.
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