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Daycare photos - do I say something?
Part vent, a bit whingy


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31 replies to this topic

#1 becstar101

Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:22 PM

We've had the photographer in at daycare a few weeks ago, and I got sent the proofs last week.

When I sent the kids to care the week they were taking photos, I made sure they had slightly nicer clothes than their usual casual play clothes, and their hair was done nicely. Dd has long, curly slightly frizzy hair, which is beautiful when freshly styled but tends towards a cross between stringy and frizzy after a couple of hours. Because of this, I'd tied her hair back.

When i came to pick her up, the photographer told me they had taken her hair out, and "it was so cute, a little messy, but just looked like she was having fun at kinder!"  Looking at the proofs today, they had decided to take her hair out, obviously hadn't brushed it, and every pic looks like a birds nest is sitting on her head.

The photographer does one of those pre-pay package deals, so I have paid for these pics, but can get a refund if I choose. I don't think I can buy any of them, all I can see is her hair when I look at the photos, so I will be requesting a refund. The question is, should I tell them why?  Would they see it as constructive feedback, or see it as me being a picky parent? I'm so sad they're not suitable, it's her last year before school, and ds has some very cute ones that we'll definitely buy. Why couldn't they have just left her hair as I wanted!

#2 hicoco

Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:28 PM

Our photographer asked up if she could redo ours as she wasn't happy with them. Other than the group one of course perhaps you could ask if this is an option. Certainly if you had dressed her hair a certain way and they changed it I think you should ask for them to be reshot.

#3 CountryFeral

Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:30 PM

At least buy one.

In twenty years her crazy hair will be amusing to her - and I say this as a fuzzy curly haired person!

I still hate my hair today - but I actually get a big laugh out of how it looked when I was little.... DP gets a much bigger one though!

#4 Yomumma

Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:35 PM

Disappointing, but I would probably still buy one. As you said it's her last year before school..Not sure if it would be worth saying anything unless there was another photo occasion..

#5 toosenuf

Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:37 PM

QUOTE (countrymel @ 09/11/2012, 03:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
At least buy one.

In twenty years her crazy hair will be amusing to her - and I say this as a fuzzy curly haired person!

I still hate my hair today - but I actually get a big laugh out of how it looked when I was little.... DP gets a much bigger one though!



this is what i was thinking as well

#6 JoMarch

Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:41 PM

I can understand that you're annoyed, but (if it was me) I wouldn't say anything...and I'd prob buy one too.  Shes just a kid & I wouldn't take it too seriously.  And as others have said, its something she (and you) can look back on and laugh at one day.

#7 FluffyOscar

Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:42 PM

As a curly haired person who has hated her hair all her life, I think the last thing your DD needs is you not buying photos of her because of her hair.

#8 Mummy Em

Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:49 PM

Oh wow, maybe it is just me. I wouldn't be remotely concerned by my child looking a bit messy in daycare photos. The idea is to capture them as they really are. It's not art. If you want arty shots there are lots of photographers that do beautiful ones.

#9 becstar101

Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:53 PM

Unfortunately, there's no option to buy just one - it's the (expensive) package of seven photos, or the more expensive package of nine.

The problem isn't her hair as such, which is pretty much exactly as mine was, it's that she looks like she's slept on her hair, it's the wild woman of Borneo look that is annoying me!  Especially as the photographer seemed to think she was too neat,and wanted to make her look more "cute".

It may be that I'm channelling my insecurities about MY hair, which I love and loathe in equal measures.




#10 Jenferal

Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:55 PM

I think not buying one sends the message that her hair isn't good enough for you. Everyone deserves to think their parents think they are beautiful.
I still remember my parents buying a 3 frame photo thingy(technical term)  for our grandparents and dad saying he'd take photos of us 3 kids (young teens) when our skin looked better.  It never happened and all I think of is the fact that he thought we weren't good enough to photograph for our grandparents. Still hurts a bit and I'm 38 now, so more than 20 years ago.

Buy a photo, show off the crazy hair. Kids hair is funny when messy I think. You should see my daughter's hair some days! Rats nest is a good description.

#11 kay11

Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:55 PM

My kindy photo had my hair messy (another with fine frizzy hair) and barefeet and missing teeth. I'm sitting next to a blonde girl with neat, straight hair, frilly dress and sandals with frilly socks. I look a fright but think it's funny. I actually had a lot of school photos like that when I think about it..

#12 Julie3Girls

Posted 09 November 2012 - 03:57 PM

I'd still buy, probably the minimum if I can.

My DD3's daycare photos when she was 3, she cried. And cried. And cried. In the group photo, all the kids are smiling, DD3 is being held by the teacher, with her face buried into the neck of the teacher.
Luckily, the individual ones are adorable - the photographer apparently came back to her at the end, and spent a huge amount of time getting her to smile, and was so proud of himself for getting it original.gif  It's actually such a sweet photo - looking a little bit messy, slightly tear stained, but the absolute sweetest smile.


#13 Turn left

Posted 09 November 2012 - 04:04 PM

Reminds me of my DDs kinder photos one year when they had their photos after lunch time...

They had snot hanging out of their noses (no they weren't sick, just cold)
vegemite smeared on their faces
...and it had gotten cold and they'd been given jumpers out of the lost property box to put on (rather than the nice jumpers I'd sent with them)

I was like "what the???" How hard is it to wipe a face and get their own jumpers out of their bags?!

Worst photos ever.

#14 CountryFeral

Posted 09 November 2012 - 04:04 PM

QUOTE (becstar101 @ 09/11/2012, 04:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It may be that I'm channelling my insecurities about MY hair, which I love and loathe in equal measures.


I think you probably are...

For her sake grit your teeth and buy the 7.  Hide them away if you must, complain to the photographer too but as Fluffy Oscar said it does set a bit of an unfortunate precedent if you don't buy them because of her hair....





My sister wore an eye patch in primary school - while Mum was a bit shocked at the time it eventually became her VERY favourite photo...

The one where my very obedient sister refused to remove her patch for the photo "Because it HAS to stay on!"  so here is this little girl with her hair and uniform immaculate, glasses clean, teeth clean and a huge big elastoplast eyepatch covering half her little face...

#15 becstar101

Posted 09 November 2012 - 04:05 PM

QUOTE (Mummy Em @ 09/11/2012, 04:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh wow, maybe it is just me. I wouldn't be remotely concerned by my child looking a bit messy in daycare photos. The idea is to capture them as they really are. It's not art. If you want arty shots there are lots of photographers that do beautiful ones.


I don't think I mind she looks messy, I'm annoyed they felt the need to 'style' her. I think actually it is that it's not capturing her as she really is. I always tie her hair back for daycare, otherwise it gets in her way when she's chasing her friends, climbing on the equipment and painting her pictures. It's just not a true representation of her and her time at the centre, which I love.


#16 jules095

Posted 09 November 2012 - 04:12 PM

Like you OP, when it was time for Daycare photos last year, I dressed up my twins.

When their photos came home, there they both were wearing their everyday hoodie jackets (It was a cold day, so the career thought they should have their jackets on for the outdoor photos).

I was disappointed, but for me, it was more important to have the photos as a memory, than to not have them just because they were wearing the jackets.


Maybe if it is such an issue for you, you could call the photographer & let her know of your disappointment. She may then offer you a chance to do the photos again, or the opportunity to just purchase one photo.

#17 José

Posted 09 November 2012 - 04:13 PM

I wouldn't bother saying anything. It won't change ur daughters photos and I don't know that it would change the photographers behaviour for the future. If you would normally buy the photos each year it.might stand out down the track that you didn't buy this years.

#18 Tiger Lilly

Posted 09 November 2012 - 06:22 PM

I don't see the big deal.

I personally prefer photos that show exactly who they are when the photo was taken.

Who cares if the hair was messy!!!

#19 YellowKittyGlenn

Posted 09 November 2012 - 06:25 PM

TBH everyone has school/kinder photos that are interesting or cute or OMG WT?!. The photos get the kids at that age in their lives. Her hair is part of her and in the grand scheme of things having crazy hair at 4/5 wont be an issue unless someone makes it an issue and points out to her that her hair is a flaw a major one.
Her hair is part of who she is right now in her life. I think like you have stated that you maybe are projecting your feelings toward your own hair onto your daughter.
Id buy the photos my kinder photos are funny but my mum was not impressed at the time because that morning whilst my sisters were getting ready for school I somehow got a pair of scissors and tried to make my hair "pretty" and my fringe looked likea crazy roller coaster up and down fringe it was me at the time and now my mum looks at it and laughs.

#20 DS1979

Posted 09 November 2012 - 06:37 PM

Personally it wouldn't bother me. But I prefer natural photos anyways. original.gif

In every daycare photo my daughter has had she's been shoeless! I too always try to dress her extra nice for her daycare photos but she is such a grub and without a doubt will end up changing before the photos are done! But not to worry, for me the photos just show her as she really is!

If you're really bothered about it you really should complain though as they probably don't think they did anything wrong. And I'm sure they'll either credit you back your money or give you the chance to get new photos done. Good luck with it, these photos are such great memories to look back on it would be a shame for you to feel unhappy about them. original.gif

#21 LookMumNoHands

Posted 09 November 2012 - 06:47 PM

I'd still buy them, if only for the sake of your daughter.

In ten years time, when she asks why she didn't get any kinder photos, what will you tell her? That you didn't like them because the photographer changed her hairdo?  sad.gif

I can understand your annoyance, but still get them  original.gif

#22 Choufleur

Posted 09 November 2012 - 07:02 PM

I can completely understand your frustration and disappointment OP.

DD's daycare pics came back the other day. Like you, I had put her in something nice. She's only little and so her hair is just at her eyes and has lovely curls at the back, it hasn't been cut yet.

The proofs came back and I almost cried. They'd taken it upon themselves to "do" her hair, it almost looked like it had been slicked over.  Not only that but the proofs had had the colour enhanced so much that she had the reddest lips (that looked like lipstick) and her eyes which are the brightest blue looked brown. In none of the photos except the group photo (where they hadn't touched her hair) did she actually look like herself.

I rang the photo company to complain about the proofs and also about the fact that they'd touched her hair. They did send new proofs but I still can't get past the fact that they don't look like her.  I was hoping to have pictures of her playing but she's not, they're so posed and staged.

I'm going to buy the group photo and that's it. I take better pictures of DD with our SLR.

My advice - ring them and complain. These photo places have such a monopoly, and to make you pay upfront and then take terrible pictures is not acceptable.

#23 Accidental

Posted 09 November 2012 - 07:30 PM

The day before my kinder photos, my mate took his scissors and cut a huge chunk out of my bowl-cut fringe. There was absolutely no way to hide it. It was like a missing tooth, right in the middle of my face.

It's my favourite school photo!

Of course, it helps we're still good mates 25 years later. I doubt the hair-styling photographer will hold the same place in your heart!

I reckon buy the small set, so your daughter never realises you mind about her hair. You'll love looking back on her face in later years, and who knows, maybe when she does something wacky with her hair as a teenager you won't mind the photo as much wink.gif

#24 Therese

Posted 09 November 2012 - 07:33 PM

It's annoying that they decided to take her hair out but I would still buy a photo.

#25 Alpha_Chook

Posted 09 November 2012 - 07:42 PM

The day before Eamons daycare photo last year he was running through the house, tripped on a toy and landed on another toy with a huge thump!! The day of the photo he was sporting 2 bruises on his face and a cut across his forehead, he was neat and tidy in every other way. After they took his photo they showed me straight away (was on one off his days off so I took him in) and suggested I might like the bruises and cut "photoshopped to look nicer"....I politely refused because the shot captured my wild child little man perfectly

ETA.....on the day of my kindergarten photo I decided that the part in my hair wasn't straight so proceeded to pull one pigtail to make it straight.....yup, all good....but then the pigtails didn't match so I cut one of them off!!! Poor mum had a hard time rectifying that for the photo, we still laugh now

Edited by Alpha_Chook, 09 November 2012 - 07:46 PM.





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