Jump to content

Kids' bedroom lights
on or off?


  • Please log in to reply
58 replies to this topic

#1 BetteBoop

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:22 PM

Settle an argument between my DH and I.

He has an fixation on getting our 5yo DD to stop sleeping with a nightlight on in her room.

He read some stupid article about how kids with emotional problems are frightened of the dark, and now he thinks we should be encouraging her to sleep in the dark.

I think it's developmentally normal for young kids to be scared of the dark and she will have the light off when she's ready.

So, what do your kids do at night. Lights on or off?

#2 leosmum

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:28 PM

Nightlights. And sometimes my 4 year old even falls asleep with his lamp on - the horror!! I'm on your side, OP.

#3 Busydays

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:31 PM

Mine would never go to sleep if a light was on! We don't leave any lights on overnight, but we live in the city so outside is always an orange glow and never very dark.

#4 bakesgirls

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:31 PM

I'm a lights off person. My kids have been fine with it so far, they haven't really known any different.

#5 Gegemite

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:36 PM

My kids have a night light/string lights on as they fall asleep,  I turn them off when I go to bed.  They're fine if they wake up in the dark though.

#6 Kat5

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:54 PM

No lights. Our kids have never slept with night-lights or lights on so that's all they really know.

They have reading lamps that they keep on until they're done reading or we tuck them in for the night.

I think at the age of 5 their imagination really takes off and it could become very easy to become scared of the dark/monsters/strangers/robbers etc. I dont think keeping a light on is going to harm their emotional/psychological well-being original.gif. I would be more inclined to keep it as an external hall light or something though, so they dont feel dependant on it, if that makes sense original.gif.

#7 JJ

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:59 PM

My kids both like the light off, but if they wanted a nightlight I would happily provide one, or leave the light on if necessary.

I agree that being scared of the dark is a stage many kids go through. I remember it well from when I was little.

#8 Cheryl_v

Posted 08 November 2012 - 11:04 PM

My 13 year old can sleep with his light off but usually has his bedside lamp on all night.  My girls won't sleep with their door shut so they get ambient light from the hallway.  My 12 year old does sleep with the light off and the door shut but always turns the toilet light on as that room is just outside his bedroom.  Personally I like it to be darker than dark when I go to sleep, I went through a stage of sleeping with an eyemask on when I lived in one house with a streetlight right outside my bedroom.  It's obviously very personal and changes over time.

#9 Team Awesome

Posted 08 November 2012 - 11:05 PM

My kids aged 8.5, almost 7, 5 and 2 all currently have a night light (it's from kmart looks like a mini lamp and even has an on /off switch) and I get more sleep for it.

Without them I'd get interrupted multiple times a night by each of them, they'd take ages to go to sleep and DD3 was coming in to sleep in with me. So light on house here. I also give their chosen bed toy of the night a big hug and "fill it with love" when I say good night, don't know if it's placebo effect as I introduced this idea the same week as we put the night lights back in but so far so good. Now to just retrain my body that it can get sleep so it should wink.gif

#10 SeaPrincess

Posted 08 November 2012 - 11:08 PM

We leave the bathroom light on.  This way, if someone gets up to go to the loo, I don't have to get up as well.

R

#11 BetteBoop

Posted 08 November 2012 - 11:11 PM

QUOTE (JJ @ 08/11/2012, 10:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I remember it well from when I was little.


Me too. I slept with a nightlight on until I was proably 10.

And I've turned out 100% normal*







*number may have been rounded up, seasonally adjusted or completely fabricated

#12 *LucyE*

Posted 08 November 2012 - 11:13 PM

QUOTE
He read some stupid article about how kids with emotional problems are frightened of the dark, and now he thinks we should be encouraging her to sleep in the dark.

Is the fear of darkness the cause or result of the emotional problems?

My 8 yr old has a fear of the dark.  I prefer to nurture DS and trust that if he feels safe and loved, he will overcome his fear of the dark himself.  Forcing him before he is ready, will probably cause more harm than good.

So, to answer your question - lights on dim and I switch them off when we go to sleep.  The hallway light is left on dim all night for ambient light and also in case anyone needs to go to the toilet during.

#13 BetteBoop

Posted 08 November 2012 - 11:16 PM

QUOTE (*LucyE* @ 08/11/2012, 11:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Is the fear of darkness the cause or result of the emotional problems?


Fears like a fear of dark can be symptoms of anxiety disorders. Obvious right?

But even if she is anxious, we won't fix the anxiety by confronting one specific fear.

#14 yellowtulips74

Posted 09 November 2012 - 12:05 AM

DD1 as a toddler liked the light on and the door open.  DD2 liked the light off and the door closed.  We ended up turning the dining room into a second kids bedroom for a while there, because our plan to have them share a room didn't work out!

Now they share a room and DD1 prefers it darker, DD2 prefers more light!!  I leave a dim hall light on at night, as a compromise.

I'm really afraid of the dark.  My imagination runs wild.  When my girls are at their dad's place I still keep that hall light on...

#15 s'peachykeen

Posted 09 November 2012 - 04:27 AM

Your DH is confusing correlation with causation. Nightlights + fear of the dark + "emotional problems" may well regularly turn up together in kids, but that doesn't mean the nightlights cause the problems. Props to him for wanting to raise emotionally healthy kids, but if it was as simple as putting them in a dark bedroom, I think the psychology industry would have been wound up a long time ago... wink.gif

Edited by s'peachykeen, 09 November 2012 - 04:28 AM.


#16 ~ky~

Posted 09 November 2012 - 04:34 AM

My daughter had huge insomnia issues a couple of years back and we wracked our brains trying to find a cause. I took her to the doctor, she spoke to a psych etc and all came back healthy, well balanced, happy child - just extremely tired.

We turned off her night light and suddenly she was sleeping again. Ever since, we have just left the toilet light on (needs to be on for DS anyway) and opened her door just a crack so that her room isn't pitch black.

I don't like nightlights mainly because the light the produce makes it all too tempting to play/read/muck around when the child should be sleeping.

i don't think sleeping in the dark or sleeping with a light on causes fear issues - I think that stories, vivid imaginations and tv programs/books/movies are more likely to be the root cause.

#17 ~ky~

Posted 09 November 2012 - 04:52 AM

My DS has to have absolutely no light at all or he is out of bed and playing. He also has to have a room devoid of anything that could distract him so he just has his set of bunks in there and nothing else. Like your DS, he has aspergers but he has an overwhelming compulsion to play with something if he has seen it and will keep getting up and doing so unless it is removed. The night we got the ipad he got out of bed every 15 minutes or so and tried to come downstairs and play with it - neither of us got any sleep that night at all.

DD likes a little light but is happy with just enough to reassure her so just cracking her door is enough. She too will read all night if she has any more light than that.

Our youngest sleeps best with no light yet happily goes down for her day naps in a light room.

#18 LookMumNoHands

Posted 09 November 2012 - 05:01 AM

We started out with no lights, but it wasn't for any reason other than the usual turning off all lights when we go to bed to save electricity reason.

As the boys night toilet trained, we started leaving the hallway light on, to save poor stubbed toes and wee on the toilet floor.

6yo DS sleeps with his door shut, so only the little light framing his door shows through.

5yo DS sleeps with his door wide open (heaven forbid we close it even a fraction!).

I just do whatever makes them feel safe and secure  original.gif

#19 spannah

Posted 09 November 2012 - 06:09 AM

DD1 started wanting a nightlight about 6mths ago. I couldn't find one that was suitable so we compromised. She has a lovely galaxy of glow-in-the-dark stars and planets above her. They start quite bright but by very early morning have dimmed quite a lot. Perfect. Makes her happy. Makes me happy.

#20 Duck-o-lah

Posted 09 November 2012 - 06:45 AM

QUOTE (Ferdinand @ 09/11/2012, 05:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It depends on the light. DS has an Ikea ghost lamp. The light isn't bright enough to read or play by, but is bright enough for him to find his drink bottle without knocking it over or to calm his nerves if he wakes from a nightmare in a panic.

Same here. DS (3) has a very dim nightlight that is just bright enough to help him find his comfort toys if he loses them in bed, or help him find his way from his bed to mine in the wee hours. He goes to sleep with the hallway light on, he wouldn't sleep if he had a lamp on in his room.

I don't think there's anything wrong with a light, I needed a hallway light on through the night until I was about 11 and I grew out of it.

#21 ~THE~MAGICIAN~

Posted 09 November 2012 - 07:44 AM

My kids have never ever slept with a light on in their rooms. How can anyone sleep like that? We also have roller shutters so pretty dark. They sleep with their doors slightly ajar.



#22 kpingitquiet

Posted 09 November 2012 - 07:53 AM

Ours sleeps with a light on a timer. It's on during storytime and shuts off on it's own at around 10pm. She seems to be fine with it and I don't have an issue. She sleeps with her door closed so our dogs won't bug her, so I think it's nice she has something in there to make it seem like less of a dungeon original.gif

#23 ~shannon~

Posted 09 November 2012 - 07:55 AM

It's lights off in our house, but we leave the door ajar so that there is some light going into the room and then by the time we go to bed they are already asleep. If it was pitch black they wouldn't like it.
When they wake in the night, they seem okay with it. DD6 finds her way to the toilet okay, and DD2 just calls out for me.

#24 Guest_CaptainOblivious_*

Posted 09 November 2012 - 08:12 AM

You're DH is being mean. She can't help it if she's frightened or needs some reassurance. She'll grow out of it in her own time. I used to have my door slightly open just so I could have a tiny bit of light and the reassurance of hearing people talking in the loungeroom right up to highschool. As far as I can tell, I haven't turned into someone who has major emotional problems. wink.gif

Personally, I like the tiny nightlight in my kids' room because I can sneak in during the night and tuck them in and give them a kiss without tripping over anything.

#25 Ianthe

Posted 09 November 2012 - 08:28 AM

I think I did read somewhere once that a light on can affect sleep so I have always tried not to have any lights on although my daughter did have a nightlight for a little while.

I cannot sleep with even the tiniest amount of light at all so I have never left a light on for my kids to go to the toilet. They have all managed just fine over the years. I guess it depends what you are used to.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

A mum's tragic battle against inflammatory breast cancer

At just 37 years of age, with two young sons, Vicki was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer. Now her family wants all women to know the symptoms.

The business of babies around the world

Pregnancy and birth is an intriguing process no matter where you are in the world. One soon-to-be father gleans wisdom from a new guide.

Finding a positive path through IVF

It’s not surprising that IVF is often seen as a negative journey towards the ultimate positive, but having a glass-half-full approach can make a big difference to the experience.

Giving strangers the gift of parenthood

A mum explains why she and her husband are choosing to gift their leftover embryos to help strangers achieve their dream of parenthood.

Does morning sickness get better or worse with each child?

Just as every baby is unique, so is every pregnancy. And that means morning sickness can vary a lot, too.

What's so wrong with looking 'mumsy', anyway?

Why is it that the word ‘mumsy’ has connotations of such a negative nature – but seems to be the only other option apart from ‘yummy’?

Trying to speed up the inevitable

As the waiting game of late pregnancy continues, this mum considers a few things that might hurry things up a little.

One month later: where is William Tyrell?

It has been a little over a month since William Tyrell disappeared from his grandmother's home, 33 long sleepless nights for his family as they mourn the absence of their cheeky young boy.

Winter's child less likely to be moody: study

Babies born in the summer are much more likely to suffer from mood swings when they grow up, while those born in the winter are less likely to become irritable adults, scientists claim.

Single mum of two creates award-winning baby app

Suddenly single with a baby and an 11-year-old son, Tara O?Connell developed an app to improve the lives of mothers who were similarly overwhelmed.

Food for thought: looking after yourself as a new mum

As soon as your baby enters the world, everything else takes a back seat - even the necessities of daily life such as eating are severely compromised, right when you need energy the most.

'Grabbable guts' campaign aims to cut toxic fat

The Live Lighter campaign will take people inside the human body to show the internal dangers of being overweight.

The best and worst month of my life

A new mum's first month of motherhood didn't pan out as expected when she lost a family member weeks after her baby's birth.

Facebook and Apple offer to pay female staff to freeze their eggs

Facebook and Apple are hoping to provide women with the freedom to build their careers without the added pressure of having children at or by a certain age.

How a pregnancy contract could work for you and your partner

The idea of making a 'pregnancy contract' with your partner may sound a bit silly at first, but it can help make the transition to parenthood a lot smoother.

Finding a mum-friendly personal trainer

Burping babies vs burpees – yes, new mums and personal trainers live in different worlds. But they can work together - once you find the right match for you and your lifestyle.

Alleged baby snatch incident a ?misunderstanding?, say police

Police say that an incident in which a man pulled on a woman?s pram while walking a popular Sydney route late last month was a misunderstanding.

Ebola killed my aunt and is shutting down my country

Three weeks ago, my auntie, a midwife, developed a fever. Sitting here in Sydney basked in Australian sunshine, that shouldn't be big news.

The night my ovary burst

One mum shares her frightening experience and vows to never take her health for granted again.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

The 'yucky' illness that took over my life

I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss, as it involves toilet talk. But it needs to be talked about.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.