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Family Naming Problem
Family member 'bragging' about name


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29 replies to this topic

#1 mondoweft

Posted 08 November 2012 - 07:44 PM

Posting by stealth to avoid family disputes.

We would love to use my maternal Grandmothers name for a future DD, but it is the same name as my DH's paternal grandmother, and she is a terrible bragger and gossiper.  My DH doesn't think it will be a problem and his follow up comment was "she will die soon, so we won't have to put up with it for long".

Should we go with a name we love and put up with the repeated bragging and comments or should we go with a different name with no family connections?  Should we use the name and make a point about who she is named after when we announce the name?

Thanks in advance.

The name we want to use is Edith Jane nn Edie.  Our back ups include Caitlyn, Eva and Margaret, but we are happy to take suggestions as well.

#2 BobBottersnike

Posted 08 November 2012 - 07:48 PM

I'd go with the name you love - your DD will be around for a lot longer than her great grandmother!

And if her bragging doesn't hurt anyone, well, just let her do it  original.gif

#3 Dionysus

Posted 08 November 2012 - 07:49 PM

a future DD?  You aren't pregnant yet?

talk about borrowing trouble   LOL


FWIW. I would name your DD the name you want - and be the 'bigger people' and explain it is named after both GMs.  A lovely, selfless gesture on your part.





Oh and the name is really lovely!

#4 bandbub

Posted 08 November 2012 - 07:53 PM

thats a lovely name

if she wants to brag a bout it let her, you know the history behind the name and can explain it to your daughter

#5 Bunsen the feral

Posted 08 November 2012 - 07:59 PM

Use it, announce with something like "introducing Edith, who shares her name with her 2 great grandmothers". Doesn't let her assume all the credit but no reason to deliberately point out she isn't named after her either.

#6 mondoweft

Posted 08 November 2012 - 08:08 PM

QUOTE (**Mel** @ 08/11/2012, 08:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
a future DD?  You aren't pregnant yet?

talk about borrowing trouble   LOL


I am not trying to "borrow trouble", I am pregnant, but will not find out the gender of the baby till birth.  We do want to decide on a female option before then though.

Thanks for the help so far ladies.

#7 katniss

Posted 08 November 2012 - 08:15 PM

Yeah I'd say bub was named after both grandmother's too.

#8 Futureself

Posted 08 November 2012 - 08:27 PM

QUOTE (mondoweft @ 08/11/2012, 07:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Should we use the name and make a point about who she is named after when we announce the name?

No. That's unnecessarily cruel, mean and petty

QUOTE (Bunsen @ 08/11/2012, 07:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Use it, announce with something like "introducing Edith, who shares her name with her 2 great grandmothers". Doesn't let her assume all the credit but no reason to deliberately point out she isn't named after her either.

Nicely worded.

It's a lovely name OP

#9 mum201

Posted 08 November 2012 - 08:36 PM

Who care if she brags? She is old and may not have much else left to make her happy :-(

#10 namie

Posted 08 November 2012 - 08:41 PM

QUOTE (Bunsen @ 08/11/2012, 08:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Use it, announce with something like "introducing Edith, who shares her name with her 2 great grandmothers". Doesn't let her assume all the credit but no reason to deliberately point out she isn't named after her either.

I agree. I think it's great that she'll share her name with two family members, I'm sure she will too.

#11 kerilyntaryn

Posted 08 November 2012 - 08:51 PM

I know someone that named their child Meredith after their grandmother Edith - just something a little different and Edith is still included

#12 Gudrun

Posted 08 November 2012 - 11:09 PM

Nothing to add really but Enid is pretty cool and NN Edie as well.

#13 jazzann

Posted 09 November 2012 - 12:59 AM

we had picked a name which happened to be my dh grandfathers name but we werent naming our child after him and my mil took great joy in telling everyone that he was named after her father. she also told everyone that if it had been a girl we would of called her edith after her mother as i mentioned in passing that i liked the name. i was annoyed at the time but never said anything and my dh said just let her think that and really at the end of the day it really doesnt matter. go with the name you love. i love edie as well.

#14 Bel Rowley

Posted 09 November 2012 - 07:22 AM

I agree with what Bunsen and peebs have said. I can't imagine wanting to begrudge my child's great grandmother a little bit of happiness and pride at a descendant sharing her name.

#15 HRH Countrymel

Posted 09 November 2012 - 07:37 AM

Where is the problem?

My sister was named after my Mum's Mother (first name) and elder sister (second name) - by default it meant she was also sharing a name (the middle) with her paternal Grandmother (it was actually my Gran's pet name from her husband so Mum and Dad hadn't thought about it) and one of Mum's very good friend.

All three people were VERY chuffed.




#16 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 09 November 2012 - 07:44 AM

I would just use it and let her brag. What difference does it make anyway?

#17 la di dah

Posted 09 November 2012 - 09:08 AM

As it is, her bit of happiness doesn't really spoil anything, does it? I don't get the big problem. Do you feel like it takes away from your grandmother somehow?

Man, it would be handy if DH and I had grandmothers that shared names.

#18 qak

Posted 09 November 2012 - 09:12 AM

QUOTE (la di dah @ 09/11/2012, 10:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Man, it would be handy if DH and I had grandmothers that shared names.


Yes - If they are different and you use  one it could be WWIII!

#19 idignantlyright

Posted 09 November 2012 - 09:29 AM

QUOTE (mondoweft @ 08/11/2012, 08:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The name we want to use is Edith Jane nn Edie.  Our back ups include Caitlyn, Eva and Margaret, but we are happy to take suggestions as well.

I would still use it. I have 1 DD with 2 middle names, and one of those is Edith. My MIL has never said a thing about it.

#20 Broxie

Posted 09 November 2012 - 09:42 AM

Another one who doesn't get why it hurts to let the old lady brag

#21 Charlies Angel

Posted 09 November 2012 - 10:15 AM

Really?

You expect your husband's grandmother, when asked by her friends, to say 'Oh no, she's not named after me but her other great-grandmother'...

Could you be any more hurtful??

A bit of grace on this occasion would go a very long way.

#22 MrsLexiK

Posted 09 November 2012 - 10:19 AM

QUOTE (Charlies Angel @ 09/11/2012, 11:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Really?

You expect your husband's grandmother, when asked by her friends, to say 'Oh no, she's not named after me but her other great-grandmother'...

Could you be any more hurtful??

A bit of grace on this occasion would go a very long way.


ummm yes totally this.  We maybe using a middle name for a boy which is after my uncle, the name is shared with my FIL, I'm not using it because of my FIL (the name is already passed onto my nephew that way) we will however mention that it is for both.

#23 FiveAus

Posted 09 November 2012 - 10:31 AM

Just give the child it's own name and not someone else's. Solves  all problems before they even start.

None of my kids were named after anyone. My brother and his wife gave each of their children a middle name after someone in her family, and every single time, noses were put out of joint.

#24 ~Jodama_Feral~

Posted 09 November 2012 - 10:39 AM

QUOTE (mondoweft @ 08/11/2012, 08:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Should we use the name and make a point about who she is named after when we announce the name?


That is cruel and unkind. Why would you think that is ok? If you dont want her to have any connection to your childs name, pick another name.

If you really want to use it, just say she is named after both grandmothers.

#25 Mumsyto2

Posted 09 November 2012 - 10:40 AM

QUOTE (Charlies Angel @ 09/11/2012, 11:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Really?

You expect your husband's grandmother, when asked by her friends, to say 'Oh no, she's not named after me but her other great-grandmother'...

Could you be any more hurtful??

A bit of grace on this occasion would go a very long way.

This.
I'm not getting it.  What could it possibly hurt to say - "introducing x named after her great grandmothers". You know which one she is named after in your own heart but no need to be such a b**ch about it all, lordy.




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