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Friends who are bad drivers
How to avoid being their passenger?


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#1 Guest_AllegraM_*

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:20 PM

Two of my friends and I have planned a girl's weekend camping trip. The spot is 4WD accessible only. Friend A was going to drive us in her 4WD but has just traded it in for a sedan. So Friend B has said she will take over driving duties in her ute.

No problem except Friend B is a terrible driver. She has poor vehicle control, is agressive towards other road users and is also a bit of a hoon. Friend A must be braver than me because while she acknowledges Friend B's  driving deficincies, she says it is only an hour and we will both be extra pairs of eyes.

I have access to a 4WD and now want to drive myself. I have already invented a reason why I need to leave later so I can meet them there but they are both being painfully accommodating and want to wait for me.

I hate confrontation. Is there some miraculously clever way I can avoid driving with Friend B without saying, 'Hey. Your driving sucks and I am pregnant and don't want to risk my life and that of my unborn child by travelling with you".

I kinda know the answer but just thought I would put it out there..

#2 Leha

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:27 PM

I'm with you. I wouldn't be taking the risk either. Tell them you get really car sick (blame it on your pregnancy if you don't normally get carsick) and that you need to drive. I wouldn't think they could question that.

Edited to add -is it safe to go 4wd while pregnant. I know I wanted to go while I was pregnant with dd and was told it was unsafe. Not having a go just curious..

Edited by Leha, 08 November 2012 - 03:30 PM.


#3 SeaPrincess

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:27 PM

I dont know, but I'm interested in replies. I won't get in the car with MIL, which is usually not an issue because she comes to us and we all only fit in my car.  But one day she's going to want to drive the children.......

#4 shelly05

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:27 PM

Depending on where you live and when your trip is planned for you could look at doing a course with Galmatic. http://www.galmatic.com/ They are based in Syd but do run some courses out of Brisbane as well. Defensive driving and get to know your car workshops for Women. original.gif

Sorry edited to finish what I was typing... You could try and make it a group thing so you're not pointing fingers at her in particular...I probably still wouldn't get in the car with her though. If it was me and my friend I would do everything I could to encourage her to calm down on the roads. She sounds like an accident waiting to happen and I would hate that accident to include one of my family members. Scary stuff.

Enjoy your trip in any case, it sounds like fun.

Edited by shelly05, 08 November 2012 - 03:31 PM.


#5 CountryFeral

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:27 PM

Now is the time to throw 50 years of feminism into your back room.

A cringingly old fashioned:  "DP has banned me from travelling with you while I'm pregnant darling... because you are a bit of a hoon!"

Just underline how super paranoid he is about you and your baby's safety and that you feel you should respect his concerns.

#6 tothebeach

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:28 PM

How about: 'I'm a wimp and your driving scares me.  I prefer Driving Miss Daisy pace, so will take my own car.  Happy to drive you too.'

#7 bakesgirls

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:29 PM

Just tell them that you really want to drive. They can either come with you or they can meet you there.

#8 50ftqueenie

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:35 PM

I'm just shocked anyone would want to go camping when pregnant. You're a tougher woman than I!

Can you suggest your car will be more comfortable then her ute, therefore it's easier if you drive?


#9 *Lib*

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:35 PM

My husband is a terrible driver. So I ALWAYS drive! Easy. He's a drinker too, so its win win.

#10 halcyondays

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:38 PM

I was travelling with a group of friends (friends and friends of friends) and one of the friends of friends was a terrible driver and loved to drive. After several near death experiences, I told her that she drives like a hoon, so I'm going to drive from now on. She said "You are such a wuss, Fred" and handed over the keys and was perfectly happy to then sit in the back and make comments about my "overly cautious" driving. We had a ball!

#11 Guest_AllegraM_*

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:39 PM

QUOTE (*Lib* @ 08/11/2012, 03:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My husband is a terrible driver. So I ALWAYS drive! Easy. He's a drinker too, so its win win.



That just gave me a marvellous idea- I will offer to drive so they can crack open their first bottle of wine on the way! I'm the only pregnant one. Thanks!

#12 bakesgirls

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:54 PM

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought even passengers were not allowed to drink alcohol in a car. It's fine to pull over and drink at a pub or to have a picnic, but open containers of alcohol are not allowed....

As I said, I may be wrong.

#13 Guest_AllegraM_*

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:56 PM

QUOTE (bakesgirls @ 08/11/2012, 03:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought even passengers were not allowed to drink alcohol in a car. It's fine to pull over and drink at a pub or to have a picnic, but open containers of alcohol are not allowed....

As I said, I may be wrong.



Oh no. My perfect plan. Still, I reckon I could encourage them both to down a couple of glasses before we hit the road!

#14 MinkyMonkey

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:59 PM

QUOTE (bakesgirls @ 08/11/2012, 03:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought even passengers were not allowed to drink alcohol in a car. It's fine to pull over and drink at a pub or to have a picnic, but open containers of alcohol are not allowed....

As I said, I may be wrong.


I believe that is only in some states in America. I was told by an ex-police officer that a driver can even be drinking alcohol while driving as long as their BAC is under the limit.

#15 CountryFeral

Posted 08 November 2012 - 04:01 PM

QUOTE (bakesgirls @ 08/11/2012, 04:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought even passengers were not allowed to drink alcohol in a car. It's fine to pull over and drink at a pub or to have a picnic, but open containers of alcohol are not allowed....

As I said, I may be wrong.


It is in our state but...

It's a 4WD access only camp... I'm guessing there won't be too many patrol cars about.

Not that I am in any way endorsing the illegal but long held tradition of the 'traveller'.

#16 emlis22

Posted 08 November 2012 - 04:08 PM

I'm that friend (I'm not a hoon or anything, I'm just not a very confident driver). My friends straight up tell me they don't want me to drive. We are friends, after all.

#17 bakesgirls

Posted 08 November 2012 - 04:09 PM

QUOTE (MinkyMonkey @ 08/11/2012, 03:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I believe that is only in some states in America. I was told by an ex-police officer that a driver can even be drinking alcohol while driving as long as their BAC is under the limit.


I think I may have heard that also about some U.S states, but was still under the impression that it also applied here.

Anyone here married to a police officer that they can ask? original.gif

#18 MrsLexiK

Posted 08 November 2012 - 04:10 PM

QUOTE (Leha @ 08/11/2012, 04:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm with you. I wouldn't be taking the risk either. Tell them you get really car sick (blame it on your pregnancy if you don't normally get carsick) and that you need to drive. I wouldn't think they could question that.

Edited to add -is it safe to go 4wd while pregnant. I know I wanted to go while I was pregnant with dd and was told it was unsafe. Not having a go just curious..


It really depends.  I wouldn't blink at going camping, but I don't think that DH would be all that happy to let me go 4wd with him, I know my SIL wouldn't go when she was pregnant.  A friend of ours did go and gave birth the day after 4 weeks early.  If we are talking soft 4wd then it would be ok (ie from the main road to my dad's property you need a 4wd) if we are talking actual 4wd then no I wouldn't.

QUOTE (bakesgirls @ 08/11/2012, 04:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought even passengers were not allowed to drink alcohol in a car. It's fine to pull over and drink at a pub or to have a picnic, but open containers of alcohol are not allowed....

As I said, I may be wrong.


I am not sure if it is statewide in our state but I know it is law by some councils.  We had a women come out on yr 12 camp and go through a whole list of dangers and stuff (she was anex security guard and perhaps an ex cop as well) I don't remember much about what she said expect about one experience with a patron who was out of it and the guy trying to take her home said he was her girlfriend this women didn't believe him so took the girl to her office where she collapsed and was found to have been given one of the many date rape drugs.  She also mentioned no alcohol open in the car based on some council/municiple laws.

#19 ChunkyChook

Posted 08 November 2012 - 04:11 PM

I dont have an answer but it made me giigle because my mum was put on blood pressure meds a few weeks ago.
I get in the passenger seat last week (freaking out as I do) and she announces "hop in and you too can have blood pressure just like me!"



#20 Baggy

Posted 08 November 2012 - 04:14 PM

I'd just say:

'Being pregnant makes me a nervous passenger, would you mind if I drove instead?'



#21 blackcat20

Posted 08 November 2012 - 04:34 PM

QUOTE (MinkyMonkey @ 08/11/2012, 04:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I believe that is only in some states in America. I was told by an ex-police officer that a driver can even be drinking alcohol while driving as long as their BAC is under the limit.


This was the case in Victoria, but I think they changed it recently for obvious reasons.

#22 MinkyMonkey

Posted 08 November 2012 - 04:45 PM

QUOTE (blackcat20 @ 08/11/2012, 04:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This was the case in Victoria, but I think they changed it recently for obvious reasons.


Yes this was over 10 years ago so probably (hopefully) has changed.

#23 yabbadabbadoo

Posted 08 November 2012 - 04:49 PM

Could you cite travel sickness as a reason?  Due to the nature of the roads and your condition you are more prone to getting car sick and if you drive it will lessen the possibility of you feeling yuck.

#24 JustBeige

Posted 08 November 2012 - 07:31 PM

QUOTE (yabbadabbadoo @ 08/11/2012, 05:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Could you cite travel sickness as a reason?  Due to the nature of the roads and your condition you are more prone to getting car sick and if you drive it will lessen the possibility of you feeling yuck.

I would do this. Travel / Morning Sickness and it doesnt happen when you drive - wihich is usually true for travel sickness.  



#25 Taff

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:53 PM

QUOTE (emlis22 @ 08/11/2012, 05:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm that friend (I'm not a hoon or anything, I'm just not a very confident driver). My friends straight up tell me they don't want me to drive. We are friends, after all.

Hi,
I quite agree with this above  point.

I won't get in the car with a  quite a few people  who are terrible drivers - I just tell them simply, I rather drive myself  as I don't trust anyone else's drivng except my own ( which is the 100% truth).I've never  lost a friend over it.

It is pointless lying, because it won't solve the problem . You will have to find a new excuse everytime  you friend  offers to drive you and your child when it's born . I think you'll run out of excuses - and it will be pretty obvious to your friend you are lying for some reason , which is more hurtful .

Kind regards






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