Jump to content

Friends who are bad drivers
How to avoid being their passenger?


  • Please log in to reply
27 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_AllegraM_*

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:20 PM

Two of my friends and I have planned a girl's weekend camping trip. The spot is 4WD accessible only. Friend A was going to drive us in her 4WD but has just traded it in for a sedan. So Friend B has said she will take over driving duties in her ute.

No problem except Friend B is a terrible driver. She has poor vehicle control, is agressive towards other road users and is also a bit of a hoon. Friend A must be braver than me because while she acknowledges Friend B's  driving deficincies, she says it is only an hour and we will both be extra pairs of eyes.

I have access to a 4WD and now want to drive myself. I have already invented a reason why I need to leave later so I can meet them there but they are both being painfully accommodating and want to wait for me.

I hate confrontation. Is there some miraculously clever way I can avoid driving with Friend B without saying, 'Hey. Your driving sucks and I am pregnant and don't want to risk my life and that of my unborn child by travelling with you".

I kinda know the answer but just thought I would put it out there..

#2 Leha

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:27 PM

I'm with you. I wouldn't be taking the risk either. Tell them you get really car sick (blame it on your pregnancy if you don't normally get carsick) and that you need to drive. I wouldn't think they could question that.

Edited to add -is it safe to go 4wd while pregnant. I know I wanted to go while I was pregnant with dd and was told it was unsafe. Not having a go just curious..

Edited by Leha, 08 November 2012 - 03:30 PM.


#3 SeaPrincess

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:27 PM

I dont know, but I'm interested in replies. I won't get in the car with MIL, which is usually not an issue because she comes to us and we all only fit in my car.  But one day she's going to want to drive the children.......

#4 shelly05

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:27 PM

Depending on where you live and when your trip is planned for you could look at doing a course with Galmatic. http://www.galmatic.com/ They are based in Syd but do run some courses out of Brisbane as well. Defensive driving and get to know your car workshops for Women. original.gif

Sorry edited to finish what I was typing... You could try and make it a group thing so you're not pointing fingers at her in particular...I probably still wouldn't get in the car with her though. If it was me and my friend I would do everything I could to encourage her to calm down on the roads. She sounds like an accident waiting to happen and I would hate that accident to include one of my family members. Scary stuff.

Enjoy your trip in any case, it sounds like fun.

Edited by shelly05, 08 November 2012 - 03:31 PM.


#5 CountryFeral

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:27 PM

Now is the time to throw 50 years of feminism into your back room.

A cringingly old fashioned:  "DP has banned me from travelling with you while I'm pregnant darling... because you are a bit of a hoon!"

Just underline how super paranoid he is about you and your baby's safety and that you feel you should respect his concerns.

#6 tothebeach

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:28 PM

How about: 'I'm a wimp and your driving scares me.  I prefer Driving Miss Daisy pace, so will take my own car.  Happy to drive you too.'

#7 bakesgirls

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:29 PM

Just tell them that you really want to drive. They can either come with you or they can meet you there.

#8 50ftqueenie

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:35 PM

I'm just shocked anyone would want to go camping when pregnant. You're a tougher woman than I!

Can you suggest your car will be more comfortable then her ute, therefore it's easier if you drive?


#9 *Lib*

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:35 PM

My husband is a terrible driver. So I ALWAYS drive! Easy. He's a drinker too, so its win win.

#10 halcyondays

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:38 PM

I was travelling with a group of friends (friends and friends of friends) and one of the friends of friends was a terrible driver and loved to drive. After several near death experiences, I told her that she drives like a hoon, so I'm going to drive from now on. She said "You are such a wuss, Fred" and handed over the keys and was perfectly happy to then sit in the back and make comments about my "overly cautious" driving. We had a ball!

#11 Guest_AllegraM_*

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:39 PM

QUOTE (*Lib* @ 08/11/2012, 03:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My husband is a terrible driver. So I ALWAYS drive! Easy. He's a drinker too, so its win win.



That just gave me a marvellous idea- I will offer to drive so they can crack open their first bottle of wine on the way! I'm the only pregnant one. Thanks!

#12 bakesgirls

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:54 PM

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought even passengers were not allowed to drink alcohol in a car. It's fine to pull over and drink at a pub or to have a picnic, but open containers of alcohol are not allowed....

As I said, I may be wrong.

#13 Guest_AllegraM_*

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:56 PM

QUOTE (bakesgirls @ 08/11/2012, 03:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought even passengers were not allowed to drink alcohol in a car. It's fine to pull over and drink at a pub or to have a picnic, but open containers of alcohol are not allowed....

As I said, I may be wrong.



Oh no. My perfect plan. Still, I reckon I could encourage them both to down a couple of glasses before we hit the road!

#14 MinkyMonkey

Posted 08 November 2012 - 03:59 PM

QUOTE (bakesgirls @ 08/11/2012, 03:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought even passengers were not allowed to drink alcohol in a car. It's fine to pull over and drink at a pub or to have a picnic, but open containers of alcohol are not allowed....

As I said, I may be wrong.


I believe that is only in some states in America. I was told by an ex-police officer that a driver can even be drinking alcohol while driving as long as their BAC is under the limit.

#15 CountryFeral

Posted 08 November 2012 - 04:01 PM

QUOTE (bakesgirls @ 08/11/2012, 04:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought even passengers were not allowed to drink alcohol in a car. It's fine to pull over and drink at a pub or to have a picnic, but open containers of alcohol are not allowed....

As I said, I may be wrong.


It is in our state but...

It's a 4WD access only camp... I'm guessing there won't be too many patrol cars about.

Not that I am in any way endorsing the illegal but long held tradition of the 'traveller'.

#16 emlis22

Posted 08 November 2012 - 04:08 PM

I'm that friend (I'm not a hoon or anything, I'm just not a very confident driver). My friends straight up tell me they don't want me to drive. We are friends, after all.

#17 bakesgirls

Posted 08 November 2012 - 04:09 PM

QUOTE (MinkyMonkey @ 08/11/2012, 03:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I believe that is only in some states in America. I was told by an ex-police officer that a driver can even be drinking alcohol while driving as long as their BAC is under the limit.


I think I may have heard that also about some U.S states, but was still under the impression that it also applied here.

Anyone here married to a police officer that they can ask? original.gif

#18 MrsLexiK

Posted 08 November 2012 - 04:10 PM

QUOTE (Leha @ 08/11/2012, 04:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm with you. I wouldn't be taking the risk either. Tell them you get really car sick (blame it on your pregnancy if you don't normally get carsick) and that you need to drive. I wouldn't think they could question that.

Edited to add -is it safe to go 4wd while pregnant. I know I wanted to go while I was pregnant with dd and was told it was unsafe. Not having a go just curious..


It really depends.  I wouldn't blink at going camping, but I don't think that DH would be all that happy to let me go 4wd with him, I know my SIL wouldn't go when she was pregnant.  A friend of ours did go and gave birth the day after 4 weeks early.  If we are talking soft 4wd then it would be ok (ie from the main road to my dad's property you need a 4wd) if we are talking actual 4wd then no I wouldn't.

QUOTE (bakesgirls @ 08/11/2012, 04:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought even passengers were not allowed to drink alcohol in a car. It's fine to pull over and drink at a pub or to have a picnic, but open containers of alcohol are not allowed....

As I said, I may be wrong.


I am not sure if it is statewide in our state but I know it is law by some councils.  We had a women come out on yr 12 camp and go through a whole list of dangers and stuff (she was anex security guard and perhaps an ex cop as well) I don't remember much about what she said expect about one experience with a patron who was out of it and the guy trying to take her home said he was her girlfriend this women didn't believe him so took the girl to her office where she collapsed and was found to have been given one of the many date rape drugs.  She also mentioned no alcohol open in the car based on some council/municiple laws.

#19 ChunkyChook

Posted 08 November 2012 - 04:11 PM

I dont have an answer but it made me giigle because my mum was put on blood pressure meds a few weeks ago.
I get in the passenger seat last week (freaking out as I do) and she announces "hop in and you too can have blood pressure just like me!"



#20 Baggy

Posted 08 November 2012 - 04:14 PM

I'd just say:

'Being pregnant makes me a nervous passenger, would you mind if I drove instead?'



#21 blackcat20

Posted 08 November 2012 - 04:34 PM

QUOTE (MinkyMonkey @ 08/11/2012, 04:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I believe that is only in some states in America. I was told by an ex-police officer that a driver can even be drinking alcohol while driving as long as their BAC is under the limit.


This was the case in Victoria, but I think they changed it recently for obvious reasons.

#22 MinkyMonkey

Posted 08 November 2012 - 04:45 PM

QUOTE (blackcat20 @ 08/11/2012, 04:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This was the case in Victoria, but I think they changed it recently for obvious reasons.


Yes this was over 10 years ago so probably (hopefully) has changed.

#23 yabbadabbadoo

Posted 08 November 2012 - 04:49 PM

Could you cite travel sickness as a reason?  Due to the nature of the roads and your condition you are more prone to getting car sick and if you drive it will lessen the possibility of you feeling yuck.

#24 JustBeige

Posted 08 November 2012 - 07:31 PM

QUOTE (yabbadabbadoo @ 08/11/2012, 05:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Could you cite travel sickness as a reason?  Due to the nature of the roads and your condition you are more prone to getting car sick and if you drive it will lessen the possibility of you feeling yuck.

I would do this. Travel / Morning Sickness and it doesnt happen when you drive - wihich is usually true for travel sickness.  



#25 Taff

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:53 PM

QUOTE (emlis22 @ 08/11/2012, 05:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm that friend (I'm not a hoon or anything, I'm just not a very confident driver). My friends straight up tell me they don't want me to drive. We are friends, after all.

Hi,
I quite agree with this above  point.

I won't get in the car with a  quite a few people  who are terrible drivers - I just tell them simply, I rather drive myself  as I don't trust anyone else's drivng except my own ( which is the 100% truth).I've never  lost a friend over it.

It is pointless lying, because it won't solve the problem . You will have to find a new excuse everytime  you friend  offers to drive you and your child when it's born . I think you'll run out of excuses - and it will be pretty obvious to your friend you are lying for some reason , which is more hurtful .

Kind regards






1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Video: 10-week-old baby sounds like she says 'I love you'

It’s mixed in amongst garbled baby talk, but this 10-week-old's apparent attempt at telling her parents that she loves them has made her an internet star.

I only enjoyed pregnancy after booking my caesarean

To say I became obsessed is something of an understatement. Everywhere I went I found cause to be reminded of my impending pain.

When your bundle doesn't bring immediate joy

One mum says joy is very a personal feeling and expecting all new mums to feel it in the months after their baby born may do more harm than good.

Lessons learned from my toddler

Blogger Kiran Chug explains why she is going to let her toddler make more decisions for himself.

Family welcomes first baby girl in more than 100 years

The Silverton family has heard the phrase "it's a girl" for the first time in four generations.

When a community of kindness steps in

In future when someone I care for, or even someone I barely know, is experiencing a difficult time, I will not overthink it. I'll follow my heart.

Mum in Business: Jac Bowie

Jac Bowie is the founder of Business in Heels, one of the fastest growing women’s networking events in Australia. She shares her story, including how she juggles work with a young family, and ways to work smarter.

What not to say to a mum of twins

Being a mum of identical twin boys stirs up great interest and fascination. It also opens itself up to nosy, invasive questions, as well as huge assumptions.

The mums suing over unplanned babies

A mother-of-five who calls her two youngest sons "miracle babies" is just one of many mums seeking financial compensation for their children's unplanned conceptions.

Video: Dad sings 'Hallelujah' to his daughter every year

It's a gorgeous song to begin with, but this dad's version of Hallelujah, sung for his young daughter, is especially touching.

Constipation in babies when starting solids

While starting solids can be frustrating and messy (yet also fun!), introducing solids can also play havoc on tiny digestive systems.

Parents reunited with baby snatched from hospital

A mother whose newborn baby was snatched from hospital has spoken of her joy and relief at getting her daughter back.

In defence of the bumpie

Are bumpies - bump selfies - really "exhibitionism of the weirdest kind"?

Life on the other side of the fence: Why I'm child-free and quite content

Acknowledging that motherhood isn't a bed of roses – to begrudge lack of time, sleep, money and spontaneity – is sacrilegious and a no-no, especially by mother superior-types.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Win a $200 Pumpkin Patch voucher

Fill out this quick survey and tell us in 25 words or less your best pregnancy or parenting tip - you'll go in the draw to win a $200 Pumpkin Patch voucher.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

In defence of the bumpie

Are bumpies really "exhibitionism of the weirdest kind", as one writer has claimed?

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

My Wellbeing

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.