Jump to content

How do you STOP coveting random things?
Spin off.


  • Please log in to reply
29 replies to this topic

#1 Futhermore

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:22 AM

So even before the other thread I have been asking myself WHY I have such a long list of 'I wants'.  I even often call them 'needs'.  Mostly things I convince myself will make life easier or my home less cluttered.

Has anyone managed to change their thinking so they are not constantly wanting something?  I have reasonably good self control but my intention is to buy a lot of these things and eventually do so.  I  often wonder why I want so much so often and how I can feel more satisfied with what I already have?

(yeah yeah, navel gazing I know  rolleyes.gif )

#2 CupOfCoffee

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:23 AM

I have poor self control, so I could use this advice also (I have a house full and a bank account empty because of all the things I 'need'.

#3 Fyn Angelot

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:25 AM

We covet what we see.  If you have a problem with wanting things you feel you would be better off (on some level) not having, curb your looking.

Don't browse websites or catalogues.  Don't give attention to advertising.  And try not to be around people who focus on these things.  

Yes, it can be a very big shift, and it takes real discipline to be successful at it.  But it can be done!

#4 Squeekums Da Feral

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:28 AM

Self control?
*wanders of to see what google says on that term*

#5 71Cath

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:30 AM

I have banned myself from book depository and all the other websites I love.  I have moved into a new house, in a new area, and the junk mail people havent found us yet so that helps too.

I also try and think of something I really want (pay off mortgage) and compare that to the fleeting whim of a new book, shirt etc.

I do slip occasionally but it mostly works.  I also find allowing myself to buy a small treat now and then helps me not feel completely deprived - you need to enjoy life as well!

#6 rachel*t*p

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:34 AM

QUOTE (Ange Vert @ 08/11/2012, 11:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We covet what we see.  If you have a problem with wanting things you feel you would be better off (on some level) not having, curb your looking.

Don't browse websites or catalogues.  Don't give attention to advertising.  And try not to be around people who focus on these things.  

Yes, it can be a very big shift, and it takes real discipline to be successful at it.  But it can be done!


I really agree with this I find that the less I look at the shops and online etc, the less I have on my list. It is a constant struggle for me. I also find that I have to try not to read crafty cute lifestyle type blogs as I want to do all these things, but I really need to concentrate on finishing the projects I already have under way.

I saw on Pinterest ( another place to avoid!) a quote that said jealousy comes from counting other's blessings instead of our own. I have to constantly remind myself of this.

#7 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:35 AM

I think about these things:

If I buy something new then I need to:

spend money on it
find somewhere to keep it - storage
maintain it, repair it
clean it
eventually upgrade or sell it - take time to take pics, list, negotiate etc


usually once I've thought about all that I no longer want it.

I also make myself wait a few weeks before buying anything, if I still really want it after a few weeks then I'll consider it more.


#8 mummame

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:37 AM

If you have a clutter problem, you have to stop buying more stuff as you will just add to the problem. This includes clutter solutions which really just clog up your home even more! I really ask myself at the shops, do I really need the item? Do I have something similar at home, that does the job? Will I use it? Usually I don't need it so there it stays, saves money too. Years ago when I had heaps of money I just bought whatever I wanted, think two pair of expensive heels in different colours...insane, I would not do this now!

Edited by mummame, 08 November 2012 - 10:38 AM.


#9 Chaos in stereo

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:41 AM

.

Edited by Chaos in stereo, 26 August 2013 - 05:38 PM.


#10 Futhermore

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:44 AM

QUOTE (living~in~the~now @ 08/11/2012, 10:31 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I suppose there is a difference between coveting and purchasing?

And if the coveting does not make you anxious or upset that you don't have it then I suppose that is ok too?

wink.gif


Ah, see, it makes me swear at myself later for NOT purchasing :-/.  Couple of examples:

Lap top/smart phone - I swear at myself daily for not just buying one so I can do my work AT WORK rather than coming home and doing it on the home computer.  But really, It's just an inconvenience, not something I can't survive without.

A new cupboard for the kitchen - every time I am trying to cook or wash up and the kids are to set the table or make lunches I keep having to stop to let them get things out of the cupboard where I'm standing.  It's annoying that we have only 1 cupboard and one small set of pot draws, but again, it's just a slight nuisance, no need to get annoyed with it but I do.

Dishwasher - well that's pretty self expanatory

Lounge - it's not necesary at all, ours might be uncomfortable and third hand and not fit the space well, but it's in good nick.

I have finally purchased a nice big table I was coveting for years to replace our little 4 seater with the wobbly legs that had been screwed back on badly and I LOVE IT and appreciate it every time we sit down to a meal or spread homework/projects out all over it.  Now I'm coveting table cloths to protect it instead of the christmas ones and old peices of material we are using.  rolleyes.gif   I also bought a matching t.v unit that has storage space to replace the one with the broken doors and a plank of chipboard across the top to put the T.V on.  I like it but really it was not necesary and just makes it look nicer.

#11 (feral)epg

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:45 AM

Another one agreeing with AngeVert over here.
For various reasons I stopped watching any TV other than ABC news over the last year.  I've also stopped listening to commercial radio.  And the amount of 'stuff' that I think I need has decreased dramatically.  I don't just think it's the advertising - but the constant parade of 'beautiful' people in 'beautiful' homes has a massive impact on our subconscious.  Similarly - for the year that I had a subscription to Marie Claire magazine my expenditure on makeup and clothes was ridiculous - not only the frequency of buying stuff the amount of money that seemed reasonable to spend on a single purchase.

The other thing that really helps (but I'm not very good at) is to just delay every purchase.  It's pretty amazing how many times if I haven't bought something on the spot, but thought that I'ld go back later, I've ended up just forgetting about it.


#12 ellebelle

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:49 AM

I look at it from the storage angle - sick of finding places for things and putting them away after they've been out!

#13 Futhermore

Posted 08 November 2012 - 10:51 AM

QUOTE
jealousy comes from counting other's blessings instead of our own. I have to constantly remind myself of this.


OH - I like that saying - thanks.


QUOTE
If you have a clutter problem, you have to stop buying more stuff as you will just add to the problem. This includes clutter solutions which really just clog up your home even more!


I would say I don't have a clutter problem in the sense that I have too much 'stuff'  I don't do nick-nacks or 30 pairs of shoes and two dozen toys, my cd collection stands at a total of 22, I probably have the same number of dvd's in the house. I'm not a collector, I just hate having crowded cupboards.  It's more like having to be very smart in how things are put away so they can be easily accessed and found when needed.

ETA  I am also coveting:

Wireless broadband router
ipod or iphone
driveway
a tall narrow sideboard
a canvass print of the glass house mountains
family portraits
canvass car seat covers
roof top camper
screen doors or better yet screens to enclose verandah
a new garden path and uncovered patio are
a front fence (Totally not needed - we have a fenced off area around the house and back)
a mail box (Seriously - why does it matter what a mail box looks like?)
an underwater camera - (no reason - it'd just be handy to have)
a kayak - top of my list atm
a treadmill (never happen - I've got nowhere to put it)
Blah, blah bláh

I don't look at junk mail or watch that much T.V - I think I get the ideas from what other people have.

Edited by ~maryanne~, 08 November 2012 - 11:20 AM.


#14 gemgirl

Posted 08 November 2012 - 11:56 AM

I stopped shopping for a year. I didn't buy clothes mostly but also reigned in purchasing of books & DVDs  considerablly. My goal was nothing new  other than groceries, gifts or replacements of truly needed/broken things. I didn't succeed 100% but I was close.

I was a huge shopaholic before then. NOw I'm back to shopping, but nowhere near as bad. It stopped me looking at catalogues/ online etc, too.

#15 niggles

Posted 08 November 2012 - 12:01 PM

I have a mantra stuck to my fridge. Aspire not to have more but to be more.

I think it's about embracing and learning to enjoy a simpler more unfettered life rather than giving up things.

I love the Buy Nothing Christmas catalogue for inspiration on the simple things in life.



#16 Pop-to-the-shops

Posted 08 November 2012 - 12:28 PM

Omg I was just thinking that today as I walked around target.

I don't really have a clutter problem, and I don't think I buy much for me or the house. I'm not big on expensive gifts for family and friends either.

I do buy a fair bit for the kids. Clothes, toys, books. I buy a lot online and on eBay. I rarely sell on ebay even though I say I will...
I de clutter by giving away old stuff to the op shop or friends, which helps me feel less guilty. I get trapped into bargin hunting, and have already done all our Christmas shopping.

I was just learning to stop after 6 years... Then I had another baby.

I realized yesterday he has about 7 new or ebay things to sit in now, all purchased recently.... Eg. Seats, swings, high chairs, strollers.

#17 tres-chic

Posted 08 November 2012 - 12:35 PM

I have a friend who is very careful with money. If I want something but know I a) don't need it and b) can't really afford it and a+b=c) it is therefore unjustafiably frivolous I tell her about it.

She usually sets me straight and I move on and go on my merry way.

I find if I wait on something a few weeks the want goes away and the needs remain.

#18 HerringToMarmalade

Posted 08 November 2012 - 12:36 PM

If the problem is with buying things you could make yourself wait a certain timeframe after seeing something you want before buying it. I got really into online shopping a while ago and spent way too much (its just so easy to buy all the things!), so I started bookmarking the things I wanted to get and then waiting a few days before going through them again and deleting the bookmarks of the ones I didn't like anymore. After doing that over a week I often only had one or two things left, if that!

#19 emlis22

Posted 08 November 2012 - 12:40 PM

I remove myself from the temptation. There is a dress shop I love and I would often walk out $600 poorer. I just don't go in there on lunch anymore. I only want it if I see it! Don't see it, don't want it. Simple.

#20 giggleandhoot

Posted 08 November 2012 - 12:47 PM

My FIL read a book once to the kids that hit the nail on the head for me. The Short and Incredibly Happy Life of Riley. He gave me a copy and i make sure i read every now and then to the kids..which really is for me as well!

#21 I'm Batman

Posted 08 November 2012 - 12:52 PM

I don't. I just don't try to convince myself that I would be happier with these random items and I would be a better person.

#22 niggles

Posted 08 November 2012 - 12:55 PM

QUOTE (giggleandhoot @ 08/11/2012, 10:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My FIL read a book once to the kids that hit the nail on the head for me. The Short and Incredibly Happy Life of Riley. He gave me a copy and i make sure i read every now and then to the kids..which really is for me as well!


I lov this book. We use it in workshops all the time.

"People of course should never be allowed to have pointy sticks because they are forever poking them into each other"

#23 LookMumNoHands

Posted 08 November 2012 - 12:56 PM

QUOTE (epg @ 08/11/2012, 11:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Another one agreeing with AngeVert over here.
For various reasons I stopped watching any TV other than ABC news over the last year.  I've also stopped listening to commercial radio.  And the amount of 'stuff' that I think I need has decreased dramatically.  I don't just think it's the advertising - but the constant parade of 'beautiful' people in 'beautiful' homes has a massive impact on our subconscious.  Similarly - for the year that I had a subscription to Marie Claire magazine my expenditure on makeup and clothes was ridiculous - not only the frequency of buying stuff the amount of money that seemed reasonable to spend on a single purchase.

The other thing that really helps (but I'm not very good at) is to just delay every purchase.  It's pretty amazing how many times if I haven't bought something on the spot, but thought that I'ld go back later, I've ended up just forgetting about it.


This is a great post, and DH and I follow it too.

Having watched a few documentaries on commercialism, it really showed us the amount of control mass media has on the general public. Most advertising works by making people think they won't be happy/attractive until they buy a certain product. It's really sickening, IMO.


#24 Futhermore

Posted 08 November 2012 - 12:57 PM

One of my favourite books

'The answer is really very simple - you just have to be happy with a lot less'

I don't buy a lot - I just WANT a lot.

Edited by ~maryanne~, 08 November 2012 - 12:59 PM.


#25 livvie7586

Posted 08 November 2012 - 01:09 PM

we've been struggling to live for 2 years now (although there is light at the end of the tunnel), and because of it i have just stopped looking, or if it was something i needed, i've op-shopped or freecycled.  if you don't look, you can't see anything that you want  biggrin.gif   you also get very good at managing with what you have




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Mums reveal their nappy bag essentials

Ever wondered what other mums carry in their nappy bags? We have, so we asked mums to tell us their must-have nappy bag items.

Toddler died because he wasn't given antibiotics soon enough

A 15-month-old boy would almost certainly be alive today if doctors had given him antibiotics sooner, a coroner has ruled.

VIDEO: moment a toddler falls on to train tracks in Melbourne

Shocking footage has emerged capturing the moment a pram carrying a toddler rolled off a platform and onto train tracks in suburban Melbourne.

Sold on natural birth? Read the fine print

In the excitement and anticipation of a first pregnancy, I ignored the fine print: some women, some of the time.

Child with alcoholic mum who drank while pregnant won't win pay-out

A young child is not entitled to criminal injuries compensation after her mother drank excessively while pregnant.

Superbugs killing India's babies, posing wider threat

A deadly epidemic that could have global implications is quietly sweeping India, tens of thousands of newborns dying because antibiotics no longer work.

Can you teach a toddler to sleep in?

Parents share their tips on getting their early risers to sleep in, even for just a little bit longer.

Keeping your relationship on track as new parents

About 70 per cent of couples experience a slump in their relationship within three years of having a baby. Here's how we tried to get back on track.

America's favourite baby names of 2014

Americans are turning to television, Netflix and sports for ideas for what to name their wee ones.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.