Jump to content

Do you have a responsibility to provide toys for your friends kids?


  • Please log in to reply
57 replies to this topic

#1 Broxie

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:36 PM

A friend had a pretty nasty dig at me today for not having toys in my house interesting to her child. He is quite a lot older than mine so the toys we have are a bit babyish for him. I sometimes ask her to bring a DVD to keep her DS entertained while she is here. She comes over around once a month.
It seems from today's comments that she thinks since she's here regularly I should buy age-appropriate toys for her DS. This has never occurred to me before.
When I go out I take toys if I know my DS will need to be entertained.
So my question is; is it my responsibility to provide toys for her DS, or us this an unreasonable expectation on her part?
Am happy to have toys here if it's considered the done thing, just didn't think if it before. What do you think?

#2 B.feral3

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:39 PM

After her snarky remark I'd be inclined to stop having her over. Problem solved!!

#3 Feral_Mumma

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:40 PM

I think you know the answer already.

Your friend is a twit. The end.

#4 Broxie

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:41 PM

Lol. Ok. I just wasn't sure if it was the norm and I'd missed the memo.

#5 Baggy

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:41 PM

I think its odd she thinks like that.

You definitely don't have the responsibility of providing toys for him. If I am going to a friends/family member's house and I know they don't have age-appropriate toys for my two daughters, then I bring some for them.

#6 AnnBB

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:41 PM

Well, your friend is an idiot. Tell her to bring her own blooming toys for her own blooming kid. How ridiculous.


#7 Gumbette

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:43 PM

You need new friends...

#8 Funwith3

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:49 PM

I find it hard to imagine that she ACTUALLY expects you to provide age-appropriate toys for her child. Are you sure her nasty remarks were not just sarcastic humour? Maybe you took it the wrong way? Or maybe there's more to the story, like perhaps you'd been disagreeing about something unrelated prior to this? Does she pay you to look after her son maybe?

I'm trying to give her an out I suppose. Or at least make sense of it. Because it sounds weird. No one expects friends to provide a house full of toys specifically for their children.

#9 strawberrycakes

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:51 PM

No way is it your responsibilty to have toys on hand for another child.  How rude of her to even suggest that you should.

FTR I don't even expect my parents to have toys at her house to entertain my child.  I took toys to her house that DD rarely plays with anymore at home & she keeps them there for my DD & my niece.

#10 Fr0g

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:54 PM

Egad, where do some people get off?! Who are these women and what universe do they descend from?

Your friend is a clown. Tell her to BYO her own friggin' chess set!

#11 Broxie

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:55 PM

She brought a DVD over today for her son to watch. I was getting it out of the DVD player as she was packing up to leave. We'd had a perfectly nice time. She said "we wouldn't have to keep bringing DVDs over if you'd just get some interesting things for him to play with" accompanied by an eyeroll as she grabbed the DVD and put it in her handbag.
She had mentioned over coffee that perhaps I should start going to her place since her son had more fun there, which I said I was happy to do.  shrug.gif

#12 s'peachykeen

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:56 PM

And yet, despite the fact that our child is 7 weeks old, I've regularly had visitors turn up recently expecting that there will be something in the house capable of entertaining their 2-5yos. People are weird  rolleyes.gif

#13 Liadan

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:57 PM

A friend of mine who has no children has age appropriate age toys my DD can play with, but she ONLY has these because she has nieces and nephews around the same age that she regularly looks after.

#14 belindarama

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:59 PM

If I go to someone's house and they don't have kids around my kids' ages I bring my own toys.

My kids, my problem.

She's an idiot.

#15 noi'mnot

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:05 PM

QUOTE (s'peachykeen @ 06/11/2012, 07:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
And yet, despite the fact that our child is 7 weeks old, I've regularly had visitors turn up recently expecting that there will be something in the house capable of entertaining their 2-5yos. People are weird  rolleyes.gif



I've got a friend like this too. I have a 2 year old, she has three aged from 4-8. It is weird, but has taught me to make sure I always have plenty of toys for my child whenever we go somewhere, because I don't want others to have to feel obliged to entertain her.

#16 Cranky Kitten

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:06 PM

How odd. On the other hand, I have taken to warning people recently that we don't have any "in between" toys available as people seem to make the assumption that because I have an older child as well as a baby that their kids can play with DD's stuff, but she's only here on alternate weekends normally and I don't let people into her room without her permission.

Suggest your friend bring some toys for her own child.

#17 vanessa71

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:06 PM

When she was giving you the  rolleyes.gif, you should have asked her very matter of factly why she thinks you should provide toys for him when he could easily bring some of his own.

#18 namie

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:07 PM

I agree with the PPs. I don't have anything beyond my DS1s age so anyone older needs to bring their own entertainment.
I always take toys for my kids to play with if we're going somewhere there won't be things to interest them. Mind you, I'm lucky to leave the house without them bringing something whether they need to or not!

#19 sa5ha

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:13 PM

I don't know what alternate reality your friend lives in, but there is no way you have any obligation or responsibility to provide toys for her child to play with!

#20 Funky Cold Ribena

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:14 PM

QUOTE (vanessa71 @ 06/11/2012, 08:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
When she was giving you the  rolleyes.gif, you should have asked her very matter of factly why she thinks you should provide toys for him when he could easily bring some of his own.


This.
How rude of your friend. How hard would it be to ask the boy to gather up some of his favourite toys to bring over?

#21 claptrap

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:19 PM

It might be easier to go to her home in future, but if that is an example of how she behaves, would you want to??

On the other hand I do keep a tub of baby and toddler toys for small visitors.  They were all favourites of DS and are still ok and safe to play with, and I get enormous pleasure from watching my friends' little ones enjoy them too.  But I'm a sentimental old fool.

Your friend sounds awful.  Sorry.

#22 bebe12

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:22 PM

Hi,

This was worth a good laugh.  I have a dd11 and a new ds (i have oldest and youngest child of my friends), so toys that are to old or to young for most.  I do have a spare toy box with odd toys from when dd was younger.

It you want to show that you have a toy apropriate for his age get a ball. just make sure that he know not to use it in the house.  That way you have tried, but when tshe complains you can point out you don't know about what intrest that age group yet, and as bonus it s still useable your your child.

#23 rachel*t*p

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:25 PM

I have bag of toys in our car that
I keep there permanently for when we are out and about. They are all things I don't mind losing or breaking, but I find that if we are at someone else's house the kids like to play with the Toysthere even if they are not age appropriate as it seems to be more fun to play with something new and different.

Edited by rachel*t*p, 06 November 2012 - 07:31 PM.


#24 Feral like a Lemon

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:33 PM

Hmm. I think I would be telling her that your home is not a creche for all ages and she should think to bring something appropriate with.



#25 Tobias'smum

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:35 PM

i always take toys fr ds just in case and when people come over if they have younger kids i put some of the little baby unsafe toys away (not a lot as ds is ony 20 months) but i will mention to parents with older kids to bring toys or dvd  to entertain them




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Share the little things that make you smile

We're giving away a Mountain Buggy nano, the ultimate travel stroller - and here are some of the great entries so far.

Toddler pleads for return of "stolen" nose

A two-year-old's reaction to a game of "got your nose" shows it doesn't take much to make a toddler cry.

The 15 photos new parents share (and five they don't)

From the first scan photo to the baby covered in cake at their first birthday party, there are 15 photos most parents seem to share - and some they don't.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

Breastfeeding friendly café goes viral

A photo of a breastfeeding-friendly sign in a cafe has been posted to Facebook and shared by hundreds of mums around the world.

First look at the Bugaboo Bee3

The newest Bugaboo Bee ? the Bee3 ? offers a variety of improved features, including a much asked-for bassinet and a rainbow of colour combinations.

Childcare costs, not paid leave, the real issue for parents

Given the choice between maintaining their wage for six months to have a child, or having a reduced rate of pay for a time but a better deal on childcare when returning to work, there are no odds on what most working parents would choose.

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

We lost three babies in two years

Our first pregnancy ended the way we all expected it to - with a healthy, happy baby in our arms. What a true blessing he was, for we were not to know the heartache we were about endure.

Family turned back from doomed flight MH17

'There must have been someone watching over us and saying, 'You must not get on that flight,' says mother who narrowly avoided boarding the Malaysian Airlines flight which exploded in mid-air over the Ukraine last night.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Adorable Skeanie loafers for kids

Your little toddler or preschooler can now get their nautical on with a new range of classic loafers by Australian show brand Skeanie.

My baby is hypermobile

For months, I have been telling myself not to worry that Jasmin isn't crawling or walking. This week I heard the term hypermobile for the first time.

When you don?t bond with your baby

They say that there is no bond greater than the bond between a mother and her child. But for some women, the mother-baby bond takes more time and effort to develop.

Yumi Stynes: Having a baby after a 10-year break

After a long break, Yumi Stynes gets a reminder of the pain - and the pleasure - of giving birth.

Grieving father asks for help to Photoshop his daughter's image

When Nathan Steffel's daughter Sophia died from a liver condition at just 6 weeks old, he reached out for someone to create a beautiful image of his little girl.

Raising kids in a 'low media' home

Can you imagine a life without TV or computers? Some parents are opting for a low-tech, screen-free life for their kids.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

WIN two Sea-Bands plus $1000

Three lucky fans can win a Sea-Band Prize Pack valued at over $1000 each, which includes two Sea-Bands plus a $1000 Eftpos Gift Card!

The beautiful moment a baby was born at the side of a road

It's not where she expected to give birth, but mum Corrine Cinatl is delighted that her daughter's roadside arrival was captured in a series of beautiful photos.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

The Nappy Collective starts new drive

It's that time of year when the dedicated volunteers at The Nappy Collective do their bit to help out mums and children in need - and they need your help.

Baby shower cake wrecks

From misshapen cake babies to questionable text, from odd colour choices to internal organ recreation, these are the baby shower cakes that taste forgot.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

Pregnancy progression photo ideas

Want to record your pregnancy as your belly grows? Here are some creative, fun ideas for photo shoots along the way.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Tin can craft and DIY ideas

Got a few old formula, Milo or coffee cans around the house? Use these fantastic upcycling ideas to create items for around the house and yard.

Dads meet their newborn for the first time

Emotional photos of two fathers meeting their newborn son have resonated with viewers worldwide, attracting thousands of Facebook likes and shares.

Skin safety isn't just a summer worry

Lax about the slip slop slap with your kids as weather turns cooler? Here's a reminder as to why we have to remain vigilant for our children?s future health.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

Creative sleeping baby photoshoots

See how some parents and photographers have captured sleeping babies in unusual positions and using different props.

DIY kitchen and food hacks

DIY your way to a better kitchen and make cooking easier with our clever hacks. (Some content reproduced with permission from mashable.com.)

Winter warmers for babies and toddlers

Your baby or toddler will be nice and snug in these beautiful and fun winter pieces. Most are hand-made or knitted, and they're all designed to keep your little one toastie - and adorable!

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.