Jump to content

Do you have a responsibility to provide toys for your friends kids?


  • Please log in to reply
57 replies to this topic

#1 Broxie

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:36 PM

A friend had a pretty nasty dig at me today for not having toys in my house interesting to her child. He is quite a lot older than mine so the toys we have are a bit babyish for him. I sometimes ask her to bring a DVD to keep her DS entertained while she is here. She comes over around once a month.
It seems from today's comments that she thinks since she's here regularly I should buy age-appropriate toys for her DS. This has never occurred to me before.
When I go out I take toys if I know my DS will need to be entertained.
So my question is; is it my responsibility to provide toys for her DS, or us this an unreasonable expectation on her part?
Am happy to have toys here if it's considered the done thing, just didn't think if it before. What do you think?

#2 B.feral3

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:39 PM

After her snarky remark I'd be inclined to stop having her over. Problem solved!!

#3 LoudMuffin

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:40 PM

I think you know the answer already.

Your friend is a twit. The end.

#4 Broxie

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:41 PM

Lol. Ok. I just wasn't sure if it was the norm and I'd missed the memo.

#5 Baggy

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:41 PM

I think its odd she thinks like that.

You definitely don't have the responsibility of providing toys for him. If I am going to a friends/family member's house and I know they don't have age-appropriate toys for my two daughters, then I bring some for them.

#6 AnnBB

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:41 PM

Well, your friend is an idiot. Tell her to bring her own blooming toys for her own blooming kid. How ridiculous.


#7 Gumbette

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:43 PM

You need new friends...

#8 Funwith3

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:49 PM

I find it hard to imagine that she ACTUALLY expects you to provide age-appropriate toys for her child. Are you sure her nasty remarks were not just sarcastic humour? Maybe you took it the wrong way? Or maybe there's more to the story, like perhaps you'd been disagreeing about something unrelated prior to this? Does she pay you to look after her son maybe?

I'm trying to give her an out I suppose. Or at least make sense of it. Because it sounds weird. No one expects friends to provide a house full of toys specifically for their children.

#9 strawberrycakes

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:51 PM

No way is it your responsibilty to have toys on hand for another child.  How rude of her to even suggest that you should.

FTR I don't even expect my parents to have toys at her house to entertain my child.  I took toys to her house that DD rarely plays with anymore at home & she keeps them there for my DD & my niece.

#10 Fr0g

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:54 PM

Egad, where do some people get off?! Who are these women and what universe do they descend from?

Your friend is a clown. Tell her to BYO her own friggin' chess set!

#11 Broxie

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:55 PM

She brought a DVD over today for her son to watch. I was getting it out of the DVD player as she was packing up to leave. We'd had a perfectly nice time. She said "we wouldn't have to keep bringing DVDs over if you'd just get some interesting things for him to play with" accompanied by an eyeroll as she grabbed the DVD and put it in her handbag.
She had mentioned over coffee that perhaps I should start going to her place since her son had more fun there, which I said I was happy to do.  shrug.gif

#12 Bernard Woolley

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:56 PM

And yet, despite the fact that our child is 7 weeks old, I've regularly had visitors turn up recently expecting that there will be something in the house capable of entertaining their 2-5yos. People are weird  rolleyes.gif

#13 Liadan

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:57 PM

A friend of mine who has no children has age appropriate age toys my DD can play with, but she ONLY has these because she has nieces and nephews around the same age that she regularly looks after.

#14 belindarama

Posted 06 November 2012 - 06:59 PM

If I go to someone's house and they don't have kids around my kids' ages I bring my own toys.

My kids, my problem.

She's an idiot.

#15 noi'mnot

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:05 PM

QUOTE (s'peachykeen @ 06/11/2012, 07:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
And yet, despite the fact that our child is 7 weeks old, I've regularly had visitors turn up recently expecting that there will be something in the house capable of entertaining their 2-5yos. People are weird  rolleyes.gif



I've got a friend like this too. I have a 2 year old, she has three aged from 4-8. It is weird, but has taught me to make sure I always have plenty of toys for my child whenever we go somewhere, because I don't want others to have to feel obliged to entertain her.

#16 Cranky Kitten

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:06 PM

How odd. On the other hand, I have taken to warning people recently that we don't have any "in between" toys available as people seem to make the assumption that because I have an older child as well as a baby that their kids can play with DD's stuff, but she's only here on alternate weekends normally and I don't let people into her room without her permission.

Suggest your friend bring some toys for her own child.

#17 vanessa71

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:06 PM

When she was giving you the  rolleyes.gif, you should have asked her very matter of factly why she thinks you should provide toys for him when he could easily bring some of his own.

#18 namie

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:07 PM

I agree with the PPs. I don't have anything beyond my DS1s age so anyone older needs to bring their own entertainment.
I always take toys for my kids to play with if we're going somewhere there won't be things to interest them. Mind you, I'm lucky to leave the house without them bringing something whether they need to or not!

#19 sa5ha

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:13 PM

I don't know what alternate reality your friend lives in, but there is no way you have any obligation or responsibility to provide toys for her child to play with!

#20 Funky Cold Ribena

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:14 PM

QUOTE (vanessa71 @ 06/11/2012, 08:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
When she was giving you the  rolleyes.gif, you should have asked her very matter of factly why she thinks you should provide toys for him when he could easily bring some of his own.


This.
How rude of your friend. How hard would it be to ask the boy to gather up some of his favourite toys to bring over?

#21 BenevolentDictator

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:19 PM

It might be easier to go to her home in future, but if that is an example of how she behaves, would you want to??

On the other hand I do keep a tub of baby and toddler toys for small visitors.  They were all favourites of DS and are still ok and safe to play with, and I get enormous pleasure from watching my friends' little ones enjoy them too.  But I'm a sentimental old fool.

Your friend sounds awful.  Sorry.

#22 bebe12

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:22 PM

Hi,

This was worth a good laugh.  I have a dd11 and a new ds (i have oldest and youngest child of my friends), so toys that are to old or to young for most.  I do have a spare toy box with odd toys from when dd was younger.

It you want to show that you have a toy apropriate for his age get a ball. just make sure that he know not to use it in the house.  That way you have tried, but when tshe complains you can point out you don't know about what intrest that age group yet, and as bonus it s still useable your your child.

#23 rachel*t*p

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:25 PM

I have bag of toys in our car that
I keep there permanently for when we are out and about. They are all things I don't mind losing or breaking, but I find that if we are at someone else's house the kids like to play with the Toysthere even if they are not age appropriate as it seems to be more fun to play with something new and different.

Edited by rachel*t*p, 06 November 2012 - 07:31 PM.


#24 Sweet like a lemon

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:33 PM

Hmm. I think I would be telling her that your home is not a creche for all ages and she should think to bring something appropriate with.



#25 Tobias'smum

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:35 PM

i always take toys fr ds just in case and when people come over if they have younger kids i put some of the little baby unsafe toys away (not a lot as ds is ony 20 months) but i will mention to parents with older kids to bring toys or dvd  to entertain them




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Ada Nicodemou: 'I can never be completely happy again'

Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.

10 things to consider when you're thinking about trying for a baby

Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.

Baby Gammy's dad tries to claim charity money

The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.

How special surgery and IVF can create a post-vasectomy baby

Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.

Belle Gibson's mother 'disgusted and embarrassed'

The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.

Life On Mars

It's men who need 'retraining', not women

We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.

Doctor's mobile phone 'left inside c-section mum'

A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.

I'm a mum and I'm following my dreams

I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.

Those first daycare days

I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.

'If one person had listened, my life would have been so different'

Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.

Couple to celebrate terminally ill baby's birthday in unique way

Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.

This new plan undermines breastfeeding and baby health at everyone's expense

Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.

Trying to understand why your baby is upset

Working out what?s underlying your baby's fussiness can be a case of trial and error. Here are a few common causes and how you can remedy each one.

When those you love judge your parenting

In today's society, never has it been harder to parent without judgment. But what about when judgment is coming from closer to home?

Don't play the victim blame game with family violence

It's not a woman's job to teach violent men how to behave.

11 truths about having two under two

When I told my mothers? group that my husband and I had started trying for our second baby they told me I was crazy. Now I can see why.

'How do you say goodbye to someone you've only just started to get to know?'

New mum Sarah Sutton was faced with a shattering scenario no person should have to endure.

It's a ... boy! Couple welcomes son number 13

"It's a boy!" That's the phrase Kateri Schwandt has heard in labour delivery ward for the 13th time in her life.

Six reasons to go for a walk

Can't find time to get to the gym? It could be just as beneficial to put your baby in the stroller and go for a walk.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Where are the childcare places?

It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?

The pain of not having babies and not knowing why

After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.

Getting your family finances in order

Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.

Mum shares graphic selfie to warn against tanning

A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.

Does parenthood make us happier?

We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

Toddler styling

Seven things my toddler taught me about my home

My standards at home were never that high but having a two-year-old has taught me to be cool with chaos.

Australia's top baby names of 2014

The numbers have been crunched and it's official: Australian parents are having a bit of an 'O' moment.

How to set up the perfect nursery for your baby

You'll soon be meeting your baby, but you've got one big task to get done first: setting up a comfy, calming nursery you'll both be able to enjoy.

Childcare rebate: tougher rules for stay-at-home mums

A new form of activity testing will be introduced to ensure the highest subsidies go to parents who contribute the most to the workforce.

The women who desperately need more support in pregnancy

For women suffering from chronic morning sickness or hyperemesis gravidarum, pregnancy can be the roller coaster from hell.

When labour doesn't happen and you're induced

I never actually went into labour - so by 42 weeks I was booked in for induction.

Mum's grief for triplets inspires change

The death of Sophie Smith's triplet baby boys has motivated the half-marathon mother and her team to raise $1.25 million for charity.

The best advice for treating head lice

Just like a horror movie ... THEY'RE BAAAAAACK. So what works in treating and avoiding head lice and nits?

Overdue and over it

A watched womb never labours ... or at least mine didn't.

Parenting an early walker

Watching your child take their first wobbly steps is one of the best parenting highs you'll ever experience. But with that high comes a new reality.

Baby-led weaning worked for us

My baby wasn't interested in food - until we tried something new. Now she's eating it all, and it often comes from my plate.

'Paralysed bride' becomes a mum

Rachelle Friedman Chapman was preparing to marry the man of her dreams when tragedy struck four years ago.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.