Jump to content

How do ppl cope with TTC?


  • Please log in to reply
16 replies to this topic

#1 Silverchick

Posted 06 November 2012 - 03:34 PM

Im aware some ppl are infertile for what feels like a life time. What sort of stuff do you put in place to stop you from going a little batty? Iv even gone as far as seeing hypnotherapist! Not even to conceive, just to try and stop neurotically obsessing and feeling so emotional.

#2 Otis the Pug

Posted 06 November 2012 - 04:37 PM

I believe in positive thought and distraction. My favourite is "it will happen some day." Another is "I'm not alone in this journey, 1 out of 6 have problems conceiving."

Don't look at: baby catalogues, baby websites, related photos on facebook and ignore other peoples posts about their pregnancy. Basically: don't stress, don't think about ttc (much) and keep away from things which remind you about how hard it is.

#3 CountryFeral

Posted 06 November 2012 - 04:47 PM

I don't know Silverchick.... I think I have actually gone a little batty!
I know I've let the rest of my life fall into ruin and it isn't good.

It's been so long now I just have to roll with it - there is no other choice.

I know the amount of time I waste on EB isn't healthy that's for sure... but there is a part of me that thinks - if I give away EB I've given up for good.

I use this as my outlet - I can't talk to anyone IRL (well except DP - I realised on the weekend his way of coping is to blame our FS - or "That Bullsh*tting Quack" as he referred to him!)... it has been so bloody long now they all just assume we gave up long ago.

#4 BJBubbles

Posted 06 November 2012 - 05:35 PM

Honestly, like countrymel, after long enough you give in and embrace the crazy!  I also probably spend too much time on EB... But I'm not overly game to venture into the general too often, so torture myself more in the TTC/Pregnancy forums.  I'm a sucker for punishment...

We then tried to keep our lie outside of TTC busy and fun and eventful...

We started a business - importing and selling wine - so obviously had to do a lot of research and tasting for that ph34r.gif

We also spent a LOT, and I mean stupid ridiculous amounts of money, on holidays.  We took 2 trips to Europe (3 weeks and 5 weeks) within 10 months  blush.gif   Plus a bunch of other trips within Australia.  We used travelling as our form of therapy. In hind-sigh, a psychiatrist would have been a lot cheaper, but nowhere near as fun!

Spent more money on doctors and alternative medicines - was willing to give anything a try!

And just kept telling myself, it HAS to happen... eventually...  because I was unwilling to accept or even consider the alternative.



#5 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:36 PM

It's a hard one to answer as everyone is different and at different stages of TTC...

For me - distractions weren't enough! The only way I stopped myself from going 'batty' (I've been there quite a few times over the years) was Acceptance! Accepting each hurdle that is thrown at you. eg Accepting TTC naturally takes time, Accepting there are still problems (had problems TTC with XH), Accepting TTC naturally isn't going to happen for me, currently trying to accept my BFP from IVF is ending in Chemical Pg etc. Without it, I couldn't/can't move forward! But it's an awfully bitter pill to swallow.



#6 Mrsjessiccas

Posted 22 November 2012 - 01:53 PM

Lol. I agree with BJBUBBLES- embrace the crazy!


#7 Jenferal

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:03 PM

Chocolate original.gif
online computer games for mindless distraction.
shopping for me
lots of books
oh I found male friends(I had 2 to talk to) were REALLY good to talk to because they liked the science stuff and weren't emotionally involved which I think women tend to be. They didn't have kids and can't have kids so they don't care as much if I couldn't. Or maybe it was just my male friends.
More chocolate.
And Bwok-Bwok makes a good point of acceptance. Though that takes time.

#8 Satay Chicken

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:15 PM

I went batty a number of times, like seriously batty - but those were lows my rock bottom and I knew I had to just get back on the bandwagon and keep going.

Probably my biggest sanity saver was my Friday afternoon p*ss-ups with DH, we would head down the pub, sit in our favourite spot and get blotto!!  Those times ended up being some of the best we've ever had..

Oh, and three trips to Vegas helped....

Edited by Satay chicken, 22 November 2012 - 02:17 PM.


#9 Guest_- Poppy -_*

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:26 PM

I drank.

Not good advice obviously but the baby I am pregnant with now was actually concieved on a drunken night when DH and I actually decided we would take a break because I was going batty.



#10 la di dah

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:32 PM

I have an obscene post-count.

I also plan in absolute blood-curdling detail baby names, nurseries, planning how to make my cats adjust to babies, etc.

#11 PrincessPeach

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:36 PM

Distraction techniques are working for me at the moment.

Mind you I've only been trying for 6 months & so far I've managed to have a function to look forward to around the same time AF has been due. Means i can have that glass of bubble's or the cheese & not give two thoughts to it.

#12 Satay Chicken

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:40 PM

QUOTE (la di dah @ 22/11/2012, 03:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have an obscene post-count.

I also plan in absolute blood-curdling detail baby names, nurseries, planning how to make my cats adjust to babies, etc.


roll2.gif

Making sure the feline adjusts ok to baby is of upmost importance....

#13 la di dah

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:43 PM

QUOTE (Satay chicken @ 22/11/2012, 03:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
roll2.gif

Making sure the feline adjusts ok to baby is of upmost importance....

We're pretty sure that the stupider, squishier cat will be fine in 3 days because she'll forget we ever didn't have a baby. If it makes any scary noises she'll just hide from it.

The other cat may be less impressed but then again if the baby upchucks milk he'll think we got him a food dispenser and that he would forgive.  biggrin.gif

I think that's actually less sad than the nursery colour scheme debate. And the storyboard collages I've made. unsure.gif blush.gif

#14 WibbleWobble

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:44 PM

QUOTE (- Poppy - @ 22/11/2012, 03:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I drank.

Not good advice obviously but the my first baby I am pregnant with now was actually concieved on after a drunken night when DH and I actually decided we would take a break because I was going batty.


This.

The first year I totally focused on TTC until it became way to consuming. After that I decided to find some other projects, so I started a new job and some study so that I had other things that took my focus off TTC.

#15 kentieness

Posted 22 November 2012 - 03:01 PM

I'm still trying to figure it out. I struggle with it every day and am constantly thinking about TTC/pregnancy/babies, which I then tell myself off for because I seem to have convinced myself that the more I think about it, the less likely it is to happen!

I wish I could just switch my brain off and stop thinking about it all. A friend at work (who knows I've been TTC for nearly 2 years) was telling me she tried for 1 month and it didn't happen so she decided to wait until the end of the year, but then "bam!" she was pregnant. Therefore I need to just stop thinking about it and it will happen! Duh! Such helpful advice!

Basically I just whinge and cry to my husband a lot.

#16 MrsRadiant

Posted 22 November 2012 - 03:07 PM

I have been doing a fair bit of baking and keeping my eyes on recipe mags instead of baby mags/books.
Also seem to be a bit obsessive about keeping our house clean when im home, so my mind is occupied.

#17 Three Of Hearts

Posted 22 November 2012 - 03:25 PM

Time and focus.

I've found with time I tended to stop focusing on the TTC part and more on the others.  The longer it took the more I started to refocus on other things that I'd pushed aside whilst going TTC crazy.  After time you tend to stop the 'oh I shouldn't think about that holiday to *insert place* because I would be 8 months pregnant by then' etc etc and you go back to 'Yep I'm going to book that holiday and if I'm pg well I'll deal with it then'.  Well that's what I've found anyway!

Now after finding out that we were never going to conceive naturally I think I am the calmest I've been in a long time.

ETA - How long have you been TTC OP?

Edited by Allie_D, 22 November 2012 - 03:26 PM.



1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How I learnt to relax about routines

After many routine-led, tough years, we've realised that being parenting isn't about being perfect. It isn't about following a schedule to a T.

Should you have a third child or not?

I thought our family had been complete with our two boys. I had no idea how much I needed my daughter until she was here.

Helping a toddler embrace an adopted sibling

A single parent by choice, I am preparing to adopt a second baby from Morocco. And I face a special challenge.

When pregnancy messes with your self-esteem

Pregnancy doesn't make all women feel beautiful. It certainly doesn't raise every woman's self-esteem.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Robbie Williams live tweets wife's labour

And the award for most patient woman in labour goes to ... Robbie Williams' wife, Ayda Field.

Vaccine ignorance is deadly and contagious

In the absence of credible, strong political leadership, paranoia about disease can go viral.

Parenting differently based on birth order

All children have unique personalities, but keeping birth order in mind could help when parenting.

How to get rid of the mum guilt

Motherhood and guilt seem to go hand in hand, but there are ways to focus

Paid parental leave scheme grinds to a halt

The future of Prime Minister Tony Abbott's paid parental leave scheme appears to be up in the air, despite the fact it is due to begin in less than nine months.

The devastation of foetal alcohol spectrum disorders

No one's sure how many Australians are affected by foetal alcohol spectrum disorders, but the consequences for those who are can be devastating.

The pros and cons of finding out the sex of your unborn baby

It’s often one of the biggest choices parents make during the course of their pregnancy; to find out, or not to find out, the sex of their baby before it’s born.

Toddler's awesome dress up month

Two-year-old Willow and her photographer mum, Gina Lee, made October "Dress Up Willow Month". She posted photos of Willow's costumes on her Instagram account, and her creative takes on popular culture are simply adorable.

Childhood around the world

It can be easy to assume our ideas around childhood are universal, but they are particular to where we live, as these practices show.

Best picks for baby and toddler shoes

Here's a great selection of footwear from pre-walker to walker ensuring comfort and style for growing feet.

I lost my wife and daughters to Ebola - then it came for my son

Sunday, September 21, is a day I will never forget.

The 'yucky' illness that took over my life

I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss. It involves toilet talk, and probably caused my miscarriage. But it needs to be talked about.

Prenatal testing: the facts

Prenatal testing is done to check if a baby has certain medical conditions before birth. Here is some important information about what the tests are for and the risks involved.

5 things to do with your baby?s old clothes

Did you think your only option for your baby?s old clothes was to pack them away or give them to the Salvos? Think again.

Why it's possible to not realise you're pregnant until the baby arrives

After hearing about 'surprise babies' born to mums who didn't know they were pregnant, it's common to ask "how did she not realise?" But experts say it's entirely possible for it to happen.

'My miracle is finally here'

How has the world continued on its pace when mine has been altered so drastically?

Dairy can help older women fall pregnant: study

Ice cream may be the ultimate comfort food, but a study suggests it could also help older women to have children.

Megan Gale goes topless for 'sexiest people' cover

Six months after a heavily pregnant Megan Gale posed nude for Marie Claire, the glowing new mum has gone topless for the cover of another magazine.

A new perspective on life from living with two diseases

A mother shares her personal story about the difficulty of living with two conditions, one of which stops her from being able to see her daughter's face.

Warning about Children's Panadol dosage

The Therapeutic Goods Administration has issued a safety advisory warning parents about confusion when using the dosing syringe supplied with Children's Panadol.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Take 'The Coles Big Nappy Change' Challenge

You could become part of our Test Drive team and win one of 200 packs of Coles Little Explorer Nappies as part of our 5-day challenge.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Weird trend

Couple has five babies in 14 months

Julie and David Grygla weren't sure they'd ever have kids - but their dreams have now well and truly come true.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.