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How do ppl cope with TTC?

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#1 Silverchick

Posted 06 November 2012 - 03:34 PM

Im aware some ppl are infertile for what feels like a life time. What sort of stuff do you put in place to stop you from going a little batty? Iv even gone as far as seeing hypnotherapist! Not even to conceive, just to try and stop neurotically obsessing and feeling so emotional.

#2 Otis the Pug

Posted 06 November 2012 - 04:37 PM

I believe in positive thought and distraction. My favourite is "it will happen some day." Another is "I'm not alone in this journey, 1 out of 6 have problems conceiving."

Don't look at: baby catalogues, baby websites, related photos on facebook and ignore other peoples posts about their pregnancy. Basically: don't stress, don't think about ttc (much) and keep away from things which remind you about how hard it is.

#3 HRH Countrymel

Posted 06 November 2012 - 04:47 PM

I don't know Silverchick.... I think I have actually gone a little batty!
I know I've let the rest of my life fall into ruin and it isn't good.

It's been so long now I just have to roll with it - there is no other choice.

I know the amount of time I waste on EB isn't healthy that's for sure... but there is a part of me that thinks - if I give away EB I've given up for good.

I use this as my outlet - I can't talk to anyone IRL (well except DP - I realised on the weekend his way of coping is to blame our FS - or "That Bullsh*tting Quack" as he referred to him!)... it has been so bloody long now they all just assume we gave up long ago.

#4 BJBubbles

Posted 06 November 2012 - 05:35 PM

Honestly, like countrymel, after long enough you give in and embrace the crazy!  I also probably spend too much time on EB... But I'm not overly game to venture into the general too often, so torture myself more in the TTC/Pregnancy forums.  I'm a sucker for punishment...

We then tried to keep our lie outside of TTC busy and fun and eventful...

We started a business - importing and selling wine - so obviously had to do a lot of research and tasting for that ph34r.gif

We also spent a LOT, and I mean stupid ridiculous amounts of money, on holidays.  We took 2 trips to Europe (3 weeks and 5 weeks) within 10 months  blush.gif   Plus a bunch of other trips within Australia.  We used travelling as our form of therapy. In hind-sigh, a psychiatrist would have been a lot cheaper, but nowhere near as fun!

Spent more money on doctors and alternative medicines - was willing to give anything a try!

And just kept telling myself, it HAS to happen... eventually...  because I was unwilling to accept or even consider the alternative.

#5 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:36 PM

It's a hard one to answer as everyone is different and at different stages of TTC...

For me - distractions weren't enough! The only way I stopped myself from going 'batty' (I've been there quite a few times over the years) was Acceptance! Accepting each hurdle that is thrown at you. eg Accepting TTC naturally takes time, Accepting there are still problems (had problems TTC with XH), Accepting TTC naturally isn't going to happen for me, currently trying to accept my BFP from IVF is ending in Chemical Pg etc. Without it, I couldn't/can't move forward! But it's an awfully bitter pill to swallow.

#6 Mrsjessiccas

Posted 22 November 2012 - 01:53 PM

Lol. I agree with BJBUBBLES- embrace the crazy!

#7 Marchioness Flea

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:03 PM

Chocolate original.gif
online computer games for mindless distraction.
shopping for me
lots of books
oh I found male friends(I had 2 to talk to) were REALLY good to talk to because they liked the science stuff and weren't emotionally involved which I think women tend to be. They didn't have kids and can't have kids so they don't care as much if I couldn't. Or maybe it was just my male friends.
More chocolate.
And Bwok-Bwok makes a good point of acceptance. Though that takes time.

#8 Satay Chicken

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:15 PM

I went batty a number of times, like seriously batty - but those were lows my rock bottom and I knew I had to just get back on the bandwagon and keep going.

Probably my biggest sanity saver was my Friday afternoon p*ss-ups with DH, we would head down the pub, sit in our favourite spot and get blotto!!  Those times ended up being some of the best we've ever had..

Oh, and three trips to Vegas helped....

Edited by Satay chicken, 22 November 2012 - 02:17 PM.

#9 Guest_- Poppy -_*

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:26 PM

I drank.

Not good advice obviously but the baby I am pregnant with now was actually concieved on a drunken night when DH and I actually decided we would take a break because I was going batty.

#10 la di dah

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:32 PM

I have an obscene post-count.

I also plan in absolute blood-curdling detail baby names, nurseries, planning how to make my cats adjust to babies, etc.

#11 PrincessPeach

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:36 PM

Distraction techniques are working for me at the moment.

Mind you I've only been trying for 6 months & so far I've managed to have a function to look forward to around the same time AF has been due. Means i can have that glass of bubble's or the cheese & not give two thoughts to it.

#12 Satay Chicken

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:40 PM

QUOTE (la di dah @ 22/11/2012, 03:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have an obscene post-count.

I also plan in absolute blood-curdling detail baby names, nurseries, planning how to make my cats adjust to babies, etc.


Making sure the feline adjusts ok to baby is of upmost importance....

#13 la di dah

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:43 PM

QUOTE (Satay chicken @ 22/11/2012, 03:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Making sure the feline adjusts ok to baby is of upmost importance....

We're pretty sure that the stupider, squishier cat will be fine in 3 days because she'll forget we ever didn't have a baby. If it makes any scary noises she'll just hide from it.

The other cat may be less impressed but then again if the baby upchucks milk he'll think we got him a food dispenser and that he would forgive.  biggrin.gif

I think that's actually less sad than the nursery colour scheme debate. And the storyboard collages I've made. unsure.gif blush.gif

#14 WibbleWobble

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:44 PM

QUOTE (- Poppy - @ 22/11/2012, 03:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I drank.

Not good advice obviously but the my first baby I am pregnant with now was actually concieved on after a drunken night when DH and I actually decided we would take a break because I was going batty.


The first year I totally focused on TTC until it became way to consuming. After that I decided to find some other projects, so I started a new job and some study so that I had other things that took my focus off TTC.

#15 kentieness

Posted 22 November 2012 - 03:01 PM

I'm still trying to figure it out. I struggle with it every day and am constantly thinking about TTC/pregnancy/babies, which I then tell myself off for because I seem to have convinced myself that the more I think about it, the less likely it is to happen!

I wish I could just switch my brain off and stop thinking about it all. A friend at work (who knows I've been TTC for nearly 2 years) was telling me she tried for 1 month and it didn't happen so she decided to wait until the end of the year, but then "bam!" she was pregnant. Therefore I need to just stop thinking about it and it will happen! Duh! Such helpful advice!

Basically I just whinge and cry to my husband a lot.

#16 MrsRadiant

Posted 22 November 2012 - 03:07 PM

I have been doing a fair bit of baking and keeping my eyes on recipe mags instead of baby mags/books.
Also seem to be a bit obsessive about keeping our house clean when im home, so my mind is occupied.

#17 Three Of Hearts

Posted 22 November 2012 - 03:25 PM

Time and focus.

I've found with time I tended to stop focusing on the TTC part and more on the others.  The longer it took the more I started to refocus on other things that I'd pushed aside whilst going TTC crazy.  After time you tend to stop the 'oh I shouldn't think about that holiday to *insert place* because I would be 8 months pregnant by then' etc etc and you go back to 'Yep I'm going to book that holiday and if I'm pg well I'll deal with it then'.  Well that's what I've found anyway!

Now after finding out that we were never going to conceive naturally I think I am the calmest I've been in a long time.

ETA - How long have you been TTC OP?

Edited by Allie_D, 22 November 2012 - 03:26 PM.

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