Jump to content

How do ppl cope with TTC?


  • Please log in to reply
16 replies to this topic

#1 Silverchick

Posted 06 November 2012 - 03:34 PM

Im aware some ppl are infertile for what feels like a life time. What sort of stuff do you put in place to stop you from going a little batty? Iv even gone as far as seeing hypnotherapist! Not even to conceive, just to try and stop neurotically obsessing and feeling so emotional.

#2 Otis the Pug

Posted 06 November 2012 - 04:37 PM

I believe in positive thought and distraction. My favourite is "it will happen some day." Another is "I'm not alone in this journey, 1 out of 6 have problems conceiving."

Don't look at: baby catalogues, baby websites, related photos on facebook and ignore other peoples posts about their pregnancy. Basically: don't stress, don't think about ttc (much) and keep away from things which remind you about how hard it is.

#3 HRH Countrymel

Posted 06 November 2012 - 04:47 PM

I don't know Silverchick.... I think I have actually gone a little batty!
I know I've let the rest of my life fall into ruin and it isn't good.

It's been so long now I just have to roll with it - there is no other choice.

I know the amount of time I waste on EB isn't healthy that's for sure... but there is a part of me that thinks - if I give away EB I've given up for good.

I use this as my outlet - I can't talk to anyone IRL (well except DP - I realised on the weekend his way of coping is to blame our FS - or "That Bullsh*tting Quack" as he referred to him!)... it has been so bloody long now they all just assume we gave up long ago.

#4 BJBubbles

Posted 06 November 2012 - 05:35 PM

Honestly, like countrymel, after long enough you give in and embrace the crazy!  I also probably spend too much time on EB... But I'm not overly game to venture into the general too often, so torture myself more in the TTC/Pregnancy forums.  I'm a sucker for punishment...

We then tried to keep our lie outside of TTC busy and fun and eventful...

We started a business - importing and selling wine - so obviously had to do a lot of research and tasting for that ph34r.gif

We also spent a LOT, and I mean stupid ridiculous amounts of money, on holidays.  We took 2 trips to Europe (3 weeks and 5 weeks) within 10 months  blush.gif   Plus a bunch of other trips within Australia.  We used travelling as our form of therapy. In hind-sigh, a psychiatrist would have been a lot cheaper, but nowhere near as fun!

Spent more money on doctors and alternative medicines - was willing to give anything a try!

And just kept telling myself, it HAS to happen... eventually...  because I was unwilling to accept or even consider the alternative.



#5 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:36 PM

It's a hard one to answer as everyone is different and at different stages of TTC...

For me - distractions weren't enough! The only way I stopped myself from going 'batty' (I've been there quite a few times over the years) was Acceptance! Accepting each hurdle that is thrown at you. eg Accepting TTC naturally takes time, Accepting there are still problems (had problems TTC with XH), Accepting TTC naturally isn't going to happen for me, currently trying to accept my BFP from IVF is ending in Chemical Pg etc. Without it, I couldn't/can't move forward! But it's an awfully bitter pill to swallow.



#6 Mrsjessiccas

Posted 22 November 2012 - 01:53 PM

Lol. I agree with BJBUBBLES- embrace the crazy!


#7 Marchioness Flea

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:03 PM

Chocolate original.gif
online computer games for mindless distraction.
shopping for me
lots of books
oh I found male friends(I had 2 to talk to) were REALLY good to talk to because they liked the science stuff and weren't emotionally involved which I think women tend to be. They didn't have kids and can't have kids so they don't care as much if I couldn't. Or maybe it was just my male friends.
More chocolate.
And Bwok-Bwok makes a good point of acceptance. Though that takes time.

#8 Satay Chicken

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:15 PM

I went batty a number of times, like seriously batty - but those were lows my rock bottom and I knew I had to just get back on the bandwagon and keep going.

Probably my biggest sanity saver was my Friday afternoon p*ss-ups with DH, we would head down the pub, sit in our favourite spot and get blotto!!  Those times ended up being some of the best we've ever had..

Oh, and three trips to Vegas helped....

Edited by Satay chicken, 22 November 2012 - 02:17 PM.


#9 Guest_- Poppy -_*

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:26 PM

I drank.

Not good advice obviously but the baby I am pregnant with now was actually concieved on a drunken night when DH and I actually decided we would take a break because I was going batty.



#10 la di dah

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:32 PM

I have an obscene post-count.

I also plan in absolute blood-curdling detail baby names, nurseries, planning how to make my cats adjust to babies, etc.

#11 PrincessPeach

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:36 PM

Distraction techniques are working for me at the moment.

Mind you I've only been trying for 6 months & so far I've managed to have a function to look forward to around the same time AF has been due. Means i can have that glass of bubble's or the cheese & not give two thoughts to it.

#12 Satay Chicken

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:40 PM

QUOTE (la di dah @ 22/11/2012, 03:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have an obscene post-count.

I also plan in absolute blood-curdling detail baby names, nurseries, planning how to make my cats adjust to babies, etc.


roll2.gif

Making sure the feline adjusts ok to baby is of upmost importance....

#13 la di dah

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:43 PM

QUOTE (Satay chicken @ 22/11/2012, 03:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
roll2.gif

Making sure the feline adjusts ok to baby is of upmost importance....

We're pretty sure that the stupider, squishier cat will be fine in 3 days because she'll forget we ever didn't have a baby. If it makes any scary noises she'll just hide from it.

The other cat may be less impressed but then again if the baby upchucks milk he'll think we got him a food dispenser and that he would forgive.  biggrin.gif

I think that's actually less sad than the nursery colour scheme debate. And the storyboard collages I've made. unsure.gif blush.gif

#14 WibbleWobble

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:44 PM

QUOTE (- Poppy - @ 22/11/2012, 03:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I drank.

Not good advice obviously but the my first baby I am pregnant with now was actually concieved on after a drunken night when DH and I actually decided we would take a break because I was going batty.


This.

The first year I totally focused on TTC until it became way to consuming. After that I decided to find some other projects, so I started a new job and some study so that I had other things that took my focus off TTC.

#15 kentieness

Posted 22 November 2012 - 03:01 PM

I'm still trying to figure it out. I struggle with it every day and am constantly thinking about TTC/pregnancy/babies, which I then tell myself off for because I seem to have convinced myself that the more I think about it, the less likely it is to happen!

I wish I could just switch my brain off and stop thinking about it all. A friend at work (who knows I've been TTC for nearly 2 years) was telling me she tried for 1 month and it didn't happen so she decided to wait until the end of the year, but then "bam!" she was pregnant. Therefore I need to just stop thinking about it and it will happen! Duh! Such helpful advice!

Basically I just whinge and cry to my husband a lot.

#16 MrsRadiant

Posted 22 November 2012 - 03:07 PM

I have been doing a fair bit of baking and keeping my eyes on recipe mags instead of baby mags/books.
Also seem to be a bit obsessive about keeping our house clean when im home, so my mind is occupied.

#17 Three Of Hearts

Posted 22 November 2012 - 03:25 PM

Time and focus.

I've found with time I tended to stop focusing on the TTC part and more on the others.  The longer it took the more I started to refocus on other things that I'd pushed aside whilst going TTC crazy.  After time you tend to stop the 'oh I shouldn't think about that holiday to *insert place* because I would be 8 months pregnant by then' etc etc and you go back to 'Yep I'm going to book that holiday and if I'm pg well I'll deal with it then'.  Well that's what I've found anyway!

Now after finding out that we were never going to conceive naturally I think I am the calmest I've been in a long time.

ETA - How long have you been TTC OP?

Edited by Allie_D, 22 November 2012 - 03:26 PM.



1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Five ways my second pregnancy is second best

As I roll into the second half of "Pregnancy: The Sequel", here is breakdown of the differences I have found thus far.

Domestic politics

Why I felt guilty about having a cleaner

Coming home to a clean house was a pleasure – and yet, I felt uneasy.

'Ugly' hearing aid ad leaves parents fuming

When Alecia Donoghue found out her baby would need hearing aids she worried about him becoming the target for schoolyard bullies.

Have you seen these missing children?

The Australian Federal Police has released the following information to locate some of Australia's missing children through the Family Law Court.

Margarita time

Keira Knightley welcomes first child

British actress Keira Knightley has become a first-time mother.

IVF patients in the dark over which clinics are least successful

Couples with fertility problems have little way of knowing which IVF clinics are the best performers despite significant differences between clinic success rates.

Couple forced to defend their decision to become parents

They met, fell in love and got married. Then, just like couples everywhere, Simon and Vicky Moore decided it was time to have a baby.

The one parenting tip that made all the difference

Amongst the useless, ill-informed advice we're given as new parents, many of us also receive nuggets of wisdom that make our lives just that little bit easier.

Five lies you tell yourself when you're pregnant

You can see it all now: glowing mumma with her gorgeous babe ... you know exactly what you're going to be like. Or perhaps you know exactly what you're not going to be like.

Family expecting fourth set of twins

A couple is expecting their fourth set of twins in five years.

The day my daughter almost drowned

We had six adults standing there, so I felt like I could relax a bit. After all, what could go wrong with so much supervision?

Sydney siege survivor names baby after victim Katrina Dawson

A Sydney barrister who survived the Lindt cafe siege has named her newborn daughter after her best friend who died in the tragedy.

The universal working mother experience

These days mothers need more than just traditional career advice.

Obama feels full force of toddler tantrum

Shopping centres, restaurants, the White House ... the list of places toddlers like to throw tantrums is endless.

Banishing bloat

How to avoid a bloated tummy

Here are some foods to eat in order to escape feeling ghastly and gassy.

The great new picture book for anxious kids

My son is a worrier by nature. I learnt long ago that it was completely pointless to say to him "Don't worry about it!".

Budget stripped more than $15b from families

The combined impact of the two budgets for low and middle income people was "devastating", new analysis by the Australian Council of Social Service shows.

Pregnant women urged to get flu shots

As the winter chill starts to arrive, NSW Health is urging pregnant women to get their flu shots.

65-year-old gives birth to quadruplets

A 65-year-old German woman, who already has 13 children, has given birth to quadruplets.

What you need to know about pregnancy and health insurance

It's not just waiting periods that couples need to consider - there are other factors to consider when thinking about health insurance.

Yummy mummy

Nicole Trunfio breastfeeds baby on Elle magazine cover

Australian model Nicole Trunfio has taken the concept of multitasking to a fashionable new level for Elle Australia.

Warnings after baby girl died while sleeping in bouncer

Parents have been warned about the dangers of letting babies sleep in bouncers and swings following the death of a three-month-old girl.

Coping with fatigue as a parent

Sleep deprivation is a real hazard of caring for a baby. But there are ways to manage the challenges of fatigue better.

A very 21st century issue: parents, parks and smart phones

It's not all the parents, and it's not all the time, but there is often at least one doing it. And sometimes, that 'one' is me.

Appliances

Faulty washing machines linked to house fires

More than 80,000 faulty Samsung washing machines pose a fire threat in homes throughout Australia despite a nationwide recall of the machines.

7 things you might not know about postnatal depression

Despite its widespread nature, there is still a great amount of mystery surrounding PND - and it's important to try unravelling as much of that as we can.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

How to use gas effectively in labour

Many women in labour don't use gas effectively and suffer more side effects than benefits. Here's how to get the most out of this pain relief option.

'He has gastro but that's okay, right?': sick kid etiquette

We cannot place all children who are sick in a bubble till they recover, but we can give other parents a choice about exposing their kids to them.

Welcome to Winter

Now that the colder months are here, Essential Baby as all the information you need for staying healthy and happy during the chilly season.

Ada Nicodemou: 'I can never be completely happy again'

Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.

10 things to consider when you're thinking about trying for a baby

Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.

How special surgery and IVF can create a post-vasectomy baby

Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.

Belle Gibson's mother 'disgusted and embarrassed'

The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.

Doctor's mobile phone 'left inside c-section mum'

A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.

I'm a mum and I'm following my dreams

I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.

Those first daycare days

I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.

'If one person had listened, my life would have been so different'

Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.

This new plan undermines breastfeeding and baby health at everyone's expense

Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.

Couple to celebrate terminally ill baby's birthday in unique way

Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.

Life On Mars

It's men who need 'retraining', not women

We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.

Baby Gammy's dad tries to claim charity money

The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.

Where are the childcare places?

It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?

The pain of not having babies and not knowing why

After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.

Getting your family finances in order

Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.

Mum shares graphic selfie to warn against tanning

A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.

Does parenthood make us happier?

We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.