Jump to content

How do ppl cope with TTC?


  • Please log in to reply
16 replies to this topic

#1 Silverchick

Posted 06 November 2012 - 03:34 PM

Im aware some ppl are infertile for what feels like a life time. What sort of stuff do you put in place to stop you from going a little batty? Iv even gone as far as seeing hypnotherapist! Not even to conceive, just to try and stop neurotically obsessing and feeling so emotional.

#2 Otis the Pug

Posted 06 November 2012 - 04:37 PM

I believe in positive thought and distraction. My favourite is "it will happen some day." Another is "I'm not alone in this journey, 1 out of 6 have problems conceiving."

Don't look at: baby catalogues, baby websites, related photos on facebook and ignore other peoples posts about their pregnancy. Basically: don't stress, don't think about ttc (much) and keep away from things which remind you about how hard it is.

#3 CountryFeral

Posted 06 November 2012 - 04:47 PM

I don't know Silverchick.... I think I have actually gone a little batty!
I know I've let the rest of my life fall into ruin and it isn't good.

It's been so long now I just have to roll with it - there is no other choice.

I know the amount of time I waste on EB isn't healthy that's for sure... but there is a part of me that thinks - if I give away EB I've given up for good.

I use this as my outlet - I can't talk to anyone IRL (well except DP - I realised on the weekend his way of coping is to blame our FS - or "That Bullsh*tting Quack" as he referred to him!)... it has been so bloody long now they all just assume we gave up long ago.

#4 BJBubbles

Posted 06 November 2012 - 05:35 PM

Honestly, like countrymel, after long enough you give in and embrace the crazy!  I also probably spend too much time on EB... But I'm not overly game to venture into the general too often, so torture myself more in the TTC/Pregnancy forums.  I'm a sucker for punishment...

We then tried to keep our lie outside of TTC busy and fun and eventful...

We started a business - importing and selling wine - so obviously had to do a lot of research and tasting for that ph34r.gif

We also spent a LOT, and I mean stupid ridiculous amounts of money, on holidays.  We took 2 trips to Europe (3 weeks and 5 weeks) within 10 months  blush.gif   Plus a bunch of other trips within Australia.  We used travelling as our form of therapy. In hind-sigh, a psychiatrist would have been a lot cheaper, but nowhere near as fun!

Spent more money on doctors and alternative medicines - was willing to give anything a try!

And just kept telling myself, it HAS to happen... eventually...  because I was unwilling to accept or even consider the alternative.



#5 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:36 PM

It's a hard one to answer as everyone is different and at different stages of TTC...

For me - distractions weren't enough! The only way I stopped myself from going 'batty' (I've been there quite a few times over the years) was Acceptance! Accepting each hurdle that is thrown at you. eg Accepting TTC naturally takes time, Accepting there are still problems (had problems TTC with XH), Accepting TTC naturally isn't going to happen for me, currently trying to accept my BFP from IVF is ending in Chemical Pg etc. Without it, I couldn't/can't move forward! But it's an awfully bitter pill to swallow.



#6 Mrsjessiccas

Posted 22 November 2012 - 01:53 PM

Lol. I agree with BJBUBBLES- embrace the crazy!


#7 Jenferal

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:03 PM

Chocolate original.gif
online computer games for mindless distraction.
shopping for me
lots of books
oh I found male friends(I had 2 to talk to) were REALLY good to talk to because they liked the science stuff and weren't emotionally involved which I think women tend to be. They didn't have kids and can't have kids so they don't care as much if I couldn't. Or maybe it was just my male friends.
More chocolate.
And Bwok-Bwok makes a good point of acceptance. Though that takes time.

#8 Satay Chicken

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:15 PM

I went batty a number of times, like seriously batty - but those were lows my rock bottom and I knew I had to just get back on the bandwagon and keep going.

Probably my biggest sanity saver was my Friday afternoon p*ss-ups with DH, we would head down the pub, sit in our favourite spot and get blotto!!  Those times ended up being some of the best we've ever had..

Oh, and three trips to Vegas helped....

Edited by Satay chicken, 22 November 2012 - 02:17 PM.


#9 Guest_- Poppy -_*

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:26 PM

I drank.

Not good advice obviously but the baby I am pregnant with now was actually concieved on a drunken night when DH and I actually decided we would take a break because I was going batty.



#10 la di dah

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:32 PM

I have an obscene post-count.

I also plan in absolute blood-curdling detail baby names, nurseries, planning how to make my cats adjust to babies, etc.

#11 PrincessPeach

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:36 PM

Distraction techniques are working for me at the moment.

Mind you I've only been trying for 6 months & so far I've managed to have a function to look forward to around the same time AF has been due. Means i can have that glass of bubble's or the cheese & not give two thoughts to it.

#12 Satay Chicken

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:40 PM

QUOTE (la di dah @ 22/11/2012, 03:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have an obscene post-count.

I also plan in absolute blood-curdling detail baby names, nurseries, planning how to make my cats adjust to babies, etc.


roll2.gif

Making sure the feline adjusts ok to baby is of upmost importance....

#13 la di dah

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:43 PM

QUOTE (Satay chicken @ 22/11/2012, 03:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
roll2.gif

Making sure the feline adjusts ok to baby is of upmost importance....

We're pretty sure that the stupider, squishier cat will be fine in 3 days because she'll forget we ever didn't have a baby. If it makes any scary noises she'll just hide from it.

The other cat may be less impressed but then again if the baby upchucks milk he'll think we got him a food dispenser and that he would forgive.  biggrin.gif

I think that's actually less sad than the nursery colour scheme debate. And the storyboard collages I've made. unsure.gif blush.gif

#14 Feral WibbleWobble

Posted 22 November 2012 - 02:44 PM

QUOTE (- Poppy - @ 22/11/2012, 03:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I drank.

Not good advice obviously but the my first baby I am pregnant with now was actually concieved on after a drunken night when DH and I actually decided we would take a break because I was going batty.


This.

The first year I totally focused on TTC until it became way to consuming. After that I decided to find some other projects, so I started a new job and some study so that I had other things that took my focus off TTC.

#15 kentieness

Posted 22 November 2012 - 03:01 PM

I'm still trying to figure it out. I struggle with it every day and am constantly thinking about TTC/pregnancy/babies, which I then tell myself off for because I seem to have convinced myself that the more I think about it, the less likely it is to happen!

I wish I could just switch my brain off and stop thinking about it all. A friend at work (who knows I've been TTC for nearly 2 years) was telling me she tried for 1 month and it didn't happen so she decided to wait until the end of the year, but then "bam!" she was pregnant. Therefore I need to just stop thinking about it and it will happen! Duh! Such helpful advice!

Basically I just whinge and cry to my husband a lot.

#16 MrsRadiant

Posted 22 November 2012 - 03:07 PM

I have been doing a fair bit of baking and keeping my eyes on recipe mags instead of baby mags/books.
Also seem to be a bit obsessive about keeping our house clean when im home, so my mind is occupied.

#17 Allie_D

Posted 22 November 2012 - 03:25 PM

Time and focus.

I've found with time I tended to stop focusing on the TTC part and more on the others.  The longer it took the more I started to refocus on other things that I'd pushed aside whilst going TTC crazy.  After time you tend to stop the 'oh I shouldn't think about that holiday to *insert place* because I would be 8 months pregnant by then' etc etc and you go back to 'Yep I'm going to book that holiday and if I'm pg well I'll deal with it then'.  Well that's what I've found anyway!

Now after finding out that we were never going to conceive naturally I think I am the calmest I've been in a long time.

ETA - How long have you been TTC OP?

Edited by Allie_D, 22 November 2012 - 03:26 PM.



1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Share the little things that make you smile

We're giving away a Mountain Buggy nano, the ultimate travel stroller - and here are some of the great entries so far.

Toddler pleads for return of "stolen" nose

A two-year-old's reaction to a game of "got your nose" shows it doesn't take much to make a toddler cry.

The 15 photos new parents share (and five they don't)

From the first scan photo to the baby covered in cake at their first birthday party, there are 15 photos most parents seem to share - and some they don't.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

Breastfeeding friendly café goes viral

A photo of a breastfeeding-friendly sign in a cafe has been posted to Facebook and shared by hundreds of mums around the world.

First look at the Bugaboo Bee3

The newest Bugaboo Bee ? the Bee3 ? offers a variety of improved features, including a much asked-for bassinet and a rainbow of colour combinations.

Childcare costs, not paid leave, the real issue for parents

Given the choice between maintaining their wage for six months to have a child, or having a reduced rate of pay for a time but a better deal on childcare when returning to work, there are no odds on what most working parents would choose.

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

We lost three babies in two years

Our first pregnancy ended the way we all expected it to - with a healthy, happy baby in our arms. What a true blessing he was, for we were not to know the heartache we were about endure.

Family turned back from doomed flight MH17

'There must have been someone watching over us and saying, 'You must not get on that flight,' says mother who narrowly avoided boarding the Malaysian Airlines flight which exploded in mid-air over the Ukraine last night.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Adorable Skeanie loafers for kids

Your little toddler or preschooler can now get their nautical on with a new range of classic loafers by Australian show brand Skeanie.

My baby is hypermobile

For months, I have been telling myself not to worry that Jasmin isn't crawling or walking. This week I heard the term hypermobile for the first time.

When you don?t bond with your baby

They say that there is no bond greater than the bond between a mother and her child. But for some women, the mother-baby bond takes more time and effort to develop.

Yumi Stynes: Having a baby after a 10-year break

After a long break, Yumi Stynes gets a reminder of the pain - and the pleasure - of giving birth.

Grieving father asks for help to Photoshop his daughter's image

When Nathan Steffel's daughter Sophia died from a liver condition at just 6 weeks old, he reached out for someone to create a beautiful image of his little girl.

Raising kids in a 'low media' home

Can you imagine a life without TV or computers? Some parents are opting for a low-tech, screen-free life for their kids.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

The beautiful moment a baby was born at the side of a road

It's not where she expected to give birth, but mum Corrine Cinatl is delighted that her daughter's roadside arrival was captured in a series of beautiful photos.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

The Nappy Collective starts new drive

It's that time of year when the dedicated volunteers at The Nappy Collective do their bit to help out mums and children in need - and they need your help.

Baby shower cake wrecks

From misshapen cake babies to questionable text, from odd colour choices to internal organ recreation, these are the baby shower cakes that taste forgot.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

Pregnancy progression photo ideas

Want to record your pregnancy as your belly grows? Here are some creative, fun ideas for photo shoots along the way.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Tin can craft and DIY ideas

Got a few old formula, Milo or coffee cans around the house? Use these fantastic upcycling ideas to create items for around the house and yard.

Dads meet their newborn for the first time

Emotional photos of two fathers meeting their newborn son have resonated with viewers worldwide, attracting thousands of Facebook likes and shares.

Skin safety isn't just a summer worry

Lax about the slip slop slap with your kids as weather turns cooler? Here's a reminder as to why we have to remain vigilant for our children?s future health.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

Creative sleeping baby photoshoots

See how some parents and photographers have captured sleeping babies in unusual positions and using different props.

DIY kitchen and food hacks

DIY your way to a better kitchen and make cooking easier with our clever hacks. (Some content reproduced with permission from mashable.com.)

Winter warmers for babies and toddlers

Your baby or toddler will be nice and snug in these beautiful and fun winter pieces. Most are hand-made or knitted, and they're all designed to keep your little one toastie - and adorable!

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.