Jump to content

Share the Bedroom, or Baby's own room?


  • Please log in to reply
66 replies to this topic

#1 robot sm

Posted 05 November 2012 - 12:14 PM

Just wondering how many people have a new baby in the bedroom with them (in a cot or bassinet), and how many give the baby their own room?

We don't have much space in our bedroom, and would need to move some pieces of furniture out if the baby were to share our room.  We are planning on the baby being in what was our spare bedroom, which is right next to ours.  There's no trouble hearing what's going on in the next room, so we would still hear when the baby wakes.

I have found some people and resources say that for the first months you should have the baby in the same room as you - is that really necessary?  I'm not going to be able to respond any quicker, and for night feeds etc that would then just wake up DH as well.  In any case I would have to pick up the bub and take him to the next room for feeding, as there's no way we can also fit a chair in our room (very small bedrooms).

We do have a fold-out futon bed in the spare/baby room, which we're planning on leaving there, so I could always sleep in there if required if the baby is unwell or in whatever other case that I would need to be right there all night.  

Any advice or experiences?

#2 Jenferal

Posted 05 November 2012 - 12:25 PM

I had our baby in a bassinet in our room next to the bed. You don't need to feed in a chair, you can feed in the bed!
I've heard one of the reasons it's good to have them in your room is they regulate their breathing with yours, which means it's less of a SIDS risk, plus you're more likely to hear them if they do have trouble breathing or whatever if they are in with you.
I had to squeeze around my bed sideways, but it was worth it. It's also great for early morning snuggles original.gif
trust me, a man can sleep through a screaming baby in the same room if he really wants to! Or he'll wake if you do anyway.

#3 clrw

Posted 05 November 2012 - 12:25 PM

We had baby in his own room. DP slept in the baby's room for the first 12 weeks to get used to his noises. After that we used a monitor for awhile but as the rooms are next door we found we didn't need it.

#4 Libster

Posted 05 November 2012 - 12:26 PM

Our bedroom was tiny and couldn't fit one bassinet, let alone 2 for our twins. This time around, we're in a larger house and I plan to do what you're doing which is have the baby in his/her own room and have a single bed in there. I plan to sleep in the bedroom as well most of the time so my husband can get some sleep.
So I think your set up sounds good - I think the benefit of having you in the same room is there is a lower incidence of SIDS if you're in the room too, so ideally you would sleep in there every night for the first 6 months, however just do what you think is best for you.

#5 DS1979

Posted 05 November 2012 - 12:44 PM

We've never had any of our kids share our room. My son had his own room from the very beginning; granted our place is small and his room is next door to ours so I could hear every sound he made. My daughter was in the lounge room for a few months until we moved her in with our son. Our next baby will do the same; basinette in the lounge room for a few months and then into the room with the other kids. original.gif




#6 au*lit

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:01 PM

We had the baby in the bassinet next to my side of the bed. The spare room (to be baby's room) had a fold out bed in it. DH slept in there if he wanted uninterrupted sleep.

I had no breastfeeding chair - I fed lying down in bed (I highly recommend this - get a midwife/lactation consultant to show you how). It really was so easy when I was exhausted.

Also, once the baby is born you might not want to be separated from him/her at first. Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night and want to make sure he was still breathing (very normal when your baby is tiny). This was easy when he was right there.

#7 Ice Queen

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:01 PM

I 'set up' a nursery/baby room on both occasions with the intention of it being the babys room eventually.  The cot, changetable, feeding chair etc was all put in there.  Then we had a bassinet (something I cant recommend enough) and we then had the flexibility of where they slept.  It is very hard to know how you will feel about a baby in your room until you have it.  With DD it was okay so she was in our room for 7weeks but with DS it was awful and he lasted 2 days and got parked in the hall outside our room and moved to his own room pretty quickly.

My DH never liked or slept well with the bubs in our room, he got too tired (I know that sounds pathetic when we are getting up all night but he works long hrs and has a stressful job). Also I never understood feeding in bed, I found it so uncomfortable on my back, couldnt attach properly, too dark and how do people change the nappy.....poo in your bed, YUK!  I always moved into the lounge or babys room for the night feeds anyway. My babys pooed constantly (again something you dont know until bubs is born) so I could never have done the nappy changes in bed.

I cant imagine not having a room for the baby even if they are sleeping in your room.  If bubs has gone to bed at 7pm, how does everyone get ready for bed without waking the baby??  I just used to wheel bubs in when it was our bedtime.

Just wanted to add, with your first baby it is nice to have them in your room in the early days and hear them breathe.  Most new mums are a bit paranoid which is totally normal!

Edited by Ehill, 05 November 2012 - 01:04 PM.


#8 Guest_AllegraM_*

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:05 PM

Our baby had his own room directly across the hall from ours. Both doors always remained open and we did not use a monitor. He also went straight into a cot. We had no dramas. I breastfed in his room as I had to get up to change his nappy anyway whenever he woke up. Newborns poo a lot!

#9 Froger

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:07 PM

All my babies have slept with me in my bed, and I've breastfed them in bed with me. Stuff getting up to sit in a chair in the middle of the night!


Safe sleeping guideline No. 5 from SIDS and Kids says:

QUOTE
5. Sleep baby in their own safe sleeping place in the same room as an adult care-giver for the first six to twelve months


http://www.sidsandkids.org/safe-sleeping/

Edited by SarahM72, 05 November 2012 - 01:07 PM.


#10 CallMeFeral

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:12 PM

Each to their own... but so's you're aware the guidelines on having them in your room are not really about responding quicker, it's to do with the theory that hearing the parents noises and breathing helps regulate the child's sleep cycle such that they are less likely to get SIDS (one of a whole number of reducing factors - not at all saying that if you don't do it they would get SIDS!)
Just so's you're aware.

#11 fun_fairz

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:14 PM

With both kids I intended to have in my room but I am an extremely light sleeper and after a week of no sleep whatsoever my husband decided that babies needed to move. He slept through it all but could see me slowly losing it!

The first went straight into his own room which was next door and the second went into our walk in robe.

I know SIDs recommends keeping them in your room but personally I think you need to do what is best for the whole family and getting good quality sleep out weighs anything else.

#12 Pocket79

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:23 PM

We had DS in his own room from the start, however until he was 6mo he was in the sunroom which is attached to our room with the door open so we could all still hear each other.  The good thing about him not being right next to our bed was that he wasn't so close to me that I would feel the urge to pick him up every time he made the slightest noise!

#13 ninaswalk

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:24 PM

Both ours went straight into a cot in their own room - which is right next door to ours.  We used no baby monitors and I would get up and feed them in their room.  I'm a very light sleeper and there's no way I could get proper sleep with them next to my bed.
Is this a new SIDS recommendation - I don't recall it when my kids were babies.
We'll probably do the same if we have any more - I figured that I am following all other SIDS recommendations the risk is minimal.

#14 SeaPrincess

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:27 PM

I found the babies far too noisy to sleep with.  Then if they stopped making noise, I was up checking on them, so I never got any sleep at all!  I understand why it is a new recommendation to avoid SIDS, but after a couple of nights with DS1, we didn't have them in our room.

R

#15 whale-woman

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:35 PM

DD had a bassinet in our room and a cot in her own room. She slept where ever was convenient. With this bub we'll do the same but I will definitely be looking to get bub into their own room sooner rather than later as we ALL slept better that way.

#16 Lokum

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:41 PM

Agree with the PPs who said to wait and see, keep it in perspective of one of many, many decisions you'll make. Guidelines and recommendations are just that - you have to apply them in the specifics of your family situation as it unfolds.

That said, as well as SIDs & Kids recommending the baby is in the same room as you on their own safe sleeping surface for 6-12 months, I believe children who room-in are likely to breast feed for longer (i have read it, and it's to do with the number of spontaneously initiated feeds in an average night etc.)

We had DS1 in with us for 10 months. Our room is TINY and we had to move furniture around to accommodate the bassinet. When he outgrew that, I couldn't bear to move him out, so we stripped down and re-built our bed to make a few inches more space, and had to dismantle and rebuild the cot alongside my bed. He stayed with us to 10 months, when we were starting to disturb him with our sleeping noises and movements.

This next one will have to room in with us for at least 12 months, as we have nowhere else to put him! I like having them right by me, hearing each other breathe, and being able to look and see the little rising chest whenever I need to. I still got up to feed and change in another room - our bassinet had wheels and I'd wheel him out.

#17 livvie7586

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:48 PM

In with me.  i've done both, but i found nothing worse than getting out of bed and sitting in a cold chair to BF.  much easier to feed lying down in my nice warm snuggly bed, and being able to doze whilst bub fed

#18 adl

Posted 05 November 2012 - 02:12 PM

DS slept next to us in his bassinet till I moved him next door as we were disturbing him and visa versa...  ( at 4mths)


DH was funny about it saying he would get lonely,  actually he loved his own space LOL ..

I actually saw a recent doco on this and co-sleeping where they measured the mother and baby breathing and showed after x time in bed they synced the patterns and the rem sleeps etc..was really interesting..

however it is not for everyone,  as anything,  see how you go,  dont fix one way or another until you find what will work for you and bubs...

Also with a winter bub, I agree the warm snuggly bed was much better ... Dh learnt to sleep through...but then he sleeps anywhere anytime

Edited by adl, 05 November 2012 - 02:13 PM.


#19 butterflydreaming

Posted 05 November 2012 - 02:30 PM

Had my son in with me for ten months and plan on doing the same when this baby comes.

For the pp who asked if its a new guideline it was part of the guidelines at least three years ago when I had my son.

#20 Alpha_Chook

Posted 05 November 2012 - 02:38 PM

Eamon was in his cot in his own room straight out of hospital. We've got a small enough house to hear any noise he made so didn't have a baby monitor either. He got fed and changed through the night in there as well. He's always been a noisy sleeper so no one would have slept if we were all in the same room. I did consider a bassinet at one point but didn't want the transition from bassinet to cot....he slept 12 hours solid from 8 weeks so it worked for us

#21 Cloria

Posted 05 November 2012 - 02:54 PM

We are going to set up a nursery that is separate to our room (happens to be on the other end of the house) with a cot.

I understand people's preferences but I personally think baby should have it's own space from day dot. Transitioning from one room in one form of sleep arrangement (bassinet) to another room in another (cot) seems unneccessary to me and opens up to have problems getting them out of your room - either from you or from bubs.
I think it's important for the parents to keep their own space too (like a little haven) as everything else will be overrun.
I have no doubt my ears will prick up when/if something goes awry.

In the end it's one of those things that I think everyone has an opinion on. I get a lot of rolled eyes and looks of disbelief when I've discussed it with the in laws. You just have to weigh up what's most important for you and go with what suits that best.

#22 CallMeFeral

Posted 05 November 2012 - 03:05 PM

QUOTE (Cloria @ 05/11/2012, 03:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I understand people's preferences but I personally think baby should have it's own space from day dot. Transitioning from one room in one form of sleep arrangement (bassinet) to another room in another (cot) seems unneccessary to me and opens up to have problems getting them out of your room - either from you or from bubs.
I think it's important for the parents to keep their own space too (like a little haven) as everything else will be overrun.


laughing2.gif
First bub right? Tounge1.gif

#23 sarkazm76

Posted 05 November 2012 - 03:16 PM

DS spent about 6 months in his bassinette next to my side of the bed.  Then into his cot in his own room - I didn't like that - having to get up and go in there all night.  I don't even remember how long it was, but not long, then moved cot to our room.  That was better.  Realised, after a lot of confusion on why he would wake during the night but then i couldn't get him to feed.... that sometimes he just wanted a cuddle - to know we were there.  So when he stirred I would cuddle him in our bed and if he kept stirring only offer to feed then.  This slowly turned into "hey he sleeps sooooo much better in bed with us" and so he and I co-slept for ages with DH on a mattress on the floor, lol.  He didn't feel comfortable sharing the bed with bubs AND he could have used our spared bed but he wanted to remain close so his choice.  Then I found out about setting the cot up as a co-sleeper and did that so DH is now back in the bed, DS is in his cot and my next bub will be in a basinette as long as they fit.... DS is 21 months now and will stay in our room as long as he wants. When bubs needs to move into the cot we will get a toddler bed for DS but still in our room.  Works for us.  Hope the new baby finds it works for them too biggrin.gif


#24 Cloria

Posted 05 November 2012 - 04:01 PM

Glad you guys are having a laugh but I'm rather offended that you think just because I have a different opinion to you that it's somehow misguided.



#25 mytimenow

Posted 05 November 2012 - 04:06 PM

Cloria,

I am a first time Mum and plan on doing the same as you. I have the babies room at the other end of the house (just because that happens to be where we have the space).  We have a spare room right next door, where if need be, I will sleep/collapse as necessary.


You have to do what is right for you and you won't know what is right until your bub comes.  Good luck....




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

Why I breastfed my son until he was three

The fact that I not only breastfed my son, but breastfed him for three and a half years, seems pretty incredible in retrospect.

Do babies and young children see ghosts?

Do babies and young children see ghosts? If you’ve pondered the question, you’re not alone.

15 years with Essential Baby: meet Therese

"Life has a funny way of giving you what you need when you need it the most."

Mum causes a stir by taking a stand against leggings

A mum has found herself the subject of debate after claiming tight bottoms cause lustful thoughts in men.

Don't set a parenting goal for 2015 - do this instead

The problem with goal setting as a parent is the measure. How do we really know if we’re succeeding?

5 pregnancy myths that just won't go away

When you're expecting, it often seems like everyone is keen to offer advice about what you should and shouldn't do in the interests of your health and wellbeing.

RPA hospital contacting mums after discovering vaccine storage fault

Sydney's Royal Prince Alfred Hospital (RPA) is trying to contact women who had babies at the facility after discovering a fault in a refrigerator containing vaccines.

'Nutella' not a baby name, French court says

A French court has blocked parents from naming their baby girl after the hazelnut spread Nutella, arguing it would make her the target of mockery.

Why I'm never calling myself 'just a mum' again

I’ve grown three human beings. I feed them, dress them, teach them, care for them and love them 24 hours a day. Yet for eight years, when I meet new people and they’ve asked me what I do, I tell them: “I’m just a mum”.

Rosie Batty named 2015 Australian of the Year

One year ago, Rosie Batty could not have imagined she'd be where she is. Tonight the grieving mum who put domestic violence on the national agenda was named Australian of the Year.

Five reasons to hug more

Hugging – some of us thrive on it, even depend on it – and then there are those who don't care for it really. So, are they missing out?

Help - my three-year-old has started throwing tantrums

My daughter never went through the "terrible twos" but began throwing wild tantrums shortly after her third birthday.

That's commitment

First peek at Sonia Kruger's daughter Maggie

"She smells so good, I could eat her," Kruger tells co-host David Campbell.

Mum assists in own caesarean surgery

A mum who partly delivered her own twins during a caesarean has encouraged other women to take control of their birthing experience.

How to handle common childhood regressions

Regression can be a natural and common part of development prompted by a variety of factors, but that doesn't make it less frustrating.

Disgruntled dad's pram ad goes viral

When buying a second hand pram, there are lots of things to take into consideration. 

Man discovers he's a dad after finding 55-year-old letter

Discovering you are about to father a baby is startling enough - never mind finding out you have a 61-year-old son.

15 thoughts mums have during a tantrum

Ranging from mild to feral and triggered by events both minor and major, tantrums certainly keep life interesting.

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Forgotten Baby Syndrome claims the life of toddler

One baby dies every eight days in the back of a car in the US, victims of 'forgotten baby syndrome'.

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel. You stole my heart, and changed me into the women I am today.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Chrissie Swan has reached her "sex quota"

Chrissie Swan says she and her partner have sex once a year due to her fear of falling pregnant.

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Back to School Offer

Findababysitter.com.au

We've got you covered for this school year. Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.