Jump to content

Share the Bedroom, or Baby's own room?


  • Please log in to reply
66 replies to this topic

#1 robot sm

Posted 05 November 2012 - 12:14 PM

Just wondering how many people have a new baby in the bedroom with them (in a cot or bassinet), and how many give the baby their own room?

We don't have much space in our bedroom, and would need to move some pieces of furniture out if the baby were to share our room.  We are planning on the baby being in what was our spare bedroom, which is right next to ours.  There's no trouble hearing what's going on in the next room, so we would still hear when the baby wakes.

I have found some people and resources say that for the first months you should have the baby in the same room as you - is that really necessary?  I'm not going to be able to respond any quicker, and for night feeds etc that would then just wake up DH as well.  In any case I would have to pick up the bub and take him to the next room for feeding, as there's no way we can also fit a chair in our room (very small bedrooms).

We do have a fold-out futon bed in the spare/baby room, which we're planning on leaving there, so I could always sleep in there if required if the baby is unwell or in whatever other case that I would need to be right there all night.  

Any advice or experiences?

#2 Jenferal

Posted 05 November 2012 - 12:25 PM

I had our baby in a bassinet in our room next to the bed. You don't need to feed in a chair, you can feed in the bed!
I've heard one of the reasons it's good to have them in your room is they regulate their breathing with yours, which means it's less of a SIDS risk, plus you're more likely to hear them if they do have trouble breathing or whatever if they are in with you.
I had to squeeze around my bed sideways, but it was worth it. It's also great for early morning snuggles original.gif
trust me, a man can sleep through a screaming baby in the same room if he really wants to! Or he'll wake if you do anyway.

#3 clrw

Posted 05 November 2012 - 12:25 PM

We had baby in his own room. DP slept in the baby's room for the first 12 weeks to get used to his noises. After that we used a monitor for awhile but as the rooms are next door we found we didn't need it.

#4 Libster

Posted 05 November 2012 - 12:26 PM

Our bedroom was tiny and couldn't fit one bassinet, let alone 2 for our twins. This time around, we're in a larger house and I plan to do what you're doing which is have the baby in his/her own room and have a single bed in there. I plan to sleep in the bedroom as well most of the time so my husband can get some sleep.
So I think your set up sounds good - I think the benefit of having you in the same room is there is a lower incidence of SIDS if you're in the room too, so ideally you would sleep in there every night for the first 6 months, however just do what you think is best for you.

#5 DS1979

Posted 05 November 2012 - 12:44 PM

We've never had any of our kids share our room. My son had his own room from the very beginning; granted our place is small and his room is next door to ours so I could hear every sound he made. My daughter was in the lounge room for a few months until we moved her in with our son. Our next baby will do the same; basinette in the lounge room for a few months and then into the room with the other kids. original.gif




#6 au*lit

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:01 PM

We had the baby in the bassinet next to my side of the bed. The spare room (to be baby's room) had a fold out bed in it. DH slept in there if he wanted uninterrupted sleep.

I had no breastfeeding chair - I fed lying down in bed (I highly recommend this - get a midwife/lactation consultant to show you how). It really was so easy when I was exhausted.

Also, once the baby is born you might not want to be separated from him/her at first. Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night and want to make sure he was still breathing (very normal when your baby is tiny). This was easy when he was right there.

#7 Ice Queen

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:01 PM

I 'set up' a nursery/baby room on both occasions with the intention of it being the babys room eventually.  The cot, changetable, feeding chair etc was all put in there.  Then we had a bassinet (something I cant recommend enough) and we then had the flexibility of where they slept.  It is very hard to know how you will feel about a baby in your room until you have it.  With DD it was okay so she was in our room for 7weeks but with DS it was awful and he lasted 2 days and got parked in the hall outside our room and moved to his own room pretty quickly.

My DH never liked or slept well with the bubs in our room, he got too tired (I know that sounds pathetic when we are getting up all night but he works long hrs and has a stressful job). Also I never understood feeding in bed, I found it so uncomfortable on my back, couldnt attach properly, too dark and how do people change the nappy.....poo in your bed, YUK!  I always moved into the lounge or babys room for the night feeds anyway. My babys pooed constantly (again something you dont know until bubs is born) so I could never have done the nappy changes in bed.

I cant imagine not having a room for the baby even if they are sleeping in your room.  If bubs has gone to bed at 7pm, how does everyone get ready for bed without waking the baby??  I just used to wheel bubs in when it was our bedtime.

Just wanted to add, with your first baby it is nice to have them in your room in the early days and hear them breathe.  Most new mums are a bit paranoid which is totally normal!

Edited by Ehill, 05 November 2012 - 01:04 PM.


#8 Guest_AllegraM_*

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:05 PM

Our baby had his own room directly across the hall from ours. Both doors always remained open and we did not use a monitor. He also went straight into a cot. We had no dramas. I breastfed in his room as I had to get up to change his nappy anyway whenever he woke up. Newborns poo a lot!

#9 Froger

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:07 PM

All my babies have slept with me in my bed, and I've breastfed them in bed with me. Stuff getting up to sit in a chair in the middle of the night!


Safe sleeping guideline No. 5 from SIDS and Kids says:

QUOTE
5. Sleep baby in their own safe sleeping place in the same room as an adult care-giver for the first six to twelve months


http://www.sidsandkids.org/safe-sleeping/

Edited by SarahM72, 05 November 2012 - 01:07 PM.


#10 CallMeFeral

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:12 PM

Each to their own... but so's you're aware the guidelines on having them in your room are not really about responding quicker, it's to do with the theory that hearing the parents noises and breathing helps regulate the child's sleep cycle such that they are less likely to get SIDS (one of a whole number of reducing factors - not at all saying that if you don't do it they would get SIDS!)
Just so's you're aware.

#11 fun_fairz

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:14 PM

With both kids I intended to have in my room but I am an extremely light sleeper and after a week of no sleep whatsoever my husband decided that babies needed to move. He slept through it all but could see me slowly losing it!

The first went straight into his own room which was next door and the second went into our walk in robe.

I know SIDs recommends keeping them in your room but personally I think you need to do what is best for the whole family and getting good quality sleep out weighs anything else.

#12 Pocket79

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:23 PM

We had DS in his own room from the start, however until he was 6mo he was in the sunroom which is attached to our room with the door open so we could all still hear each other.  The good thing about him not being right next to our bed was that he wasn't so close to me that I would feel the urge to pick him up every time he made the slightest noise!

#13 ninaswalk

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:24 PM

Both ours went straight into a cot in their own room - which is right next door to ours.  We used no baby monitors and I would get up and feed them in their room.  I'm a very light sleeper and there's no way I could get proper sleep with them next to my bed.
Is this a new SIDS recommendation - I don't recall it when my kids were babies.
We'll probably do the same if we have any more - I figured that I am following all other SIDS recommendations the risk is minimal.

#14 SeaPrincess

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:27 PM

I found the babies far too noisy to sleep with.  Then if they stopped making noise, I was up checking on them, so I never got any sleep at all!  I understand why it is a new recommendation to avoid SIDS, but after a couple of nights with DS1, we didn't have them in our room.

R

#15 whale-woman

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:35 PM

DD had a bassinet in our room and a cot in her own room. She slept where ever was convenient. With this bub we'll do the same but I will definitely be looking to get bub into their own room sooner rather than later as we ALL slept better that way.

#16 Lokum

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:41 PM

Agree with the PPs who said to wait and see, keep it in perspective of one of many, many decisions you'll make. Guidelines and recommendations are just that - you have to apply them in the specifics of your family situation as it unfolds.

That said, as well as SIDs & Kids recommending the baby is in the same room as you on their own safe sleeping surface for 6-12 months, I believe children who room-in are likely to breast feed for longer (i have read it, and it's to do with the number of spontaneously initiated feeds in an average night etc.)

We had DS1 in with us for 10 months. Our room is TINY and we had to move furniture around to accommodate the bassinet. When he outgrew that, I couldn't bear to move him out, so we stripped down and re-built our bed to make a few inches more space, and had to dismantle and rebuild the cot alongside my bed. He stayed with us to 10 months, when we were starting to disturb him with our sleeping noises and movements.

This next one will have to room in with us for at least 12 months, as we have nowhere else to put him! I like having them right by me, hearing each other breathe, and being able to look and see the little rising chest whenever I need to. I still got up to feed and change in another room - our bassinet had wheels and I'd wheel him out.

#17 livvie7586

Posted 05 November 2012 - 01:48 PM

In with me.  i've done both, but i found nothing worse than getting out of bed and sitting in a cold chair to BF.  much easier to feed lying down in my nice warm snuggly bed, and being able to doze whilst bub fed

#18 adl

Posted 05 November 2012 - 02:12 PM

DS slept next to us in his bassinet till I moved him next door as we were disturbing him and visa versa...  ( at 4mths)


DH was funny about it saying he would get lonely,  actually he loved his own space LOL ..

I actually saw a recent doco on this and co-sleeping where they measured the mother and baby breathing and showed after x time in bed they synced the patterns and the rem sleeps etc..was really interesting..

however it is not for everyone,  as anything,  see how you go,  dont fix one way or another until you find what will work for you and bubs...

Also with a winter bub, I agree the warm snuggly bed was much better ... Dh learnt to sleep through...but then he sleeps anywhere anytime

Edited by adl, 05 November 2012 - 02:13 PM.


#19 butterflydreaming

Posted 05 November 2012 - 02:30 PM

Had my son in with me for ten months and plan on doing the same when this baby comes.

For the pp who asked if its a new guideline it was part of the guidelines at least three years ago when I had my son.

#20 Alpha_Chook

Posted 05 November 2012 - 02:38 PM

Eamon was in his cot in his own room straight out of hospital. We've got a small enough house to hear any noise he made so didn't have a baby monitor either. He got fed and changed through the night in there as well. He's always been a noisy sleeper so no one would have slept if we were all in the same room. I did consider a bassinet at one point but didn't want the transition from bassinet to cot....he slept 12 hours solid from 8 weeks so it worked for us

#21 Cloria

Posted 05 November 2012 - 02:54 PM

We are going to set up a nursery that is separate to our room (happens to be on the other end of the house) with a cot.

I understand people's preferences but I personally think baby should have it's own space from day dot. Transitioning from one room in one form of sleep arrangement (bassinet) to another room in another (cot) seems unneccessary to me and opens up to have problems getting them out of your room - either from you or from bubs.
I think it's important for the parents to keep their own space too (like a little haven) as everything else will be overrun.
I have no doubt my ears will prick up when/if something goes awry.

In the end it's one of those things that I think everyone has an opinion on. I get a lot of rolled eyes and looks of disbelief when I've discussed it with the in laws. You just have to weigh up what's most important for you and go with what suits that best.

#22 CallMeFeral

Posted 05 November 2012 - 03:05 PM

QUOTE (Cloria @ 05/11/2012, 03:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I understand people's preferences but I personally think baby should have it's own space from day dot. Transitioning from one room in one form of sleep arrangement (bassinet) to another room in another (cot) seems unneccessary to me and opens up to have problems getting them out of your room - either from you or from bubs.
I think it's important for the parents to keep their own space too (like a little haven) as everything else will be overrun.


laughing2.gif
First bub right? Tounge1.gif

#23 sarkazm76

Posted 05 November 2012 - 03:16 PM

DS spent about 6 months in his bassinette next to my side of the bed.  Then into his cot in his own room - I didn't like that - having to get up and go in there all night.  I don't even remember how long it was, but not long, then moved cot to our room.  That was better.  Realised, after a lot of confusion on why he would wake during the night but then i couldn't get him to feed.... that sometimes he just wanted a cuddle - to know we were there.  So when he stirred I would cuddle him in our bed and if he kept stirring only offer to feed then.  This slowly turned into "hey he sleeps sooooo much better in bed with us" and so he and I co-slept for ages with DH on a mattress on the floor, lol.  He didn't feel comfortable sharing the bed with bubs AND he could have used our spared bed but he wanted to remain close so his choice.  Then I found out about setting the cot up as a co-sleeper and did that so DH is now back in the bed, DS is in his cot and my next bub will be in a basinette as long as they fit.... DS is 21 months now and will stay in our room as long as he wants. When bubs needs to move into the cot we will get a toddler bed for DS but still in our room.  Works for us.  Hope the new baby finds it works for them too biggrin.gif


#24 Cloria

Posted 05 November 2012 - 04:01 PM

Glad you guys are having a laugh but I'm rather offended that you think just because I have a different opinion to you that it's somehow misguided.



#25 mytimenow

Posted 05 November 2012 - 04:06 PM

Cloria,

I am a first time Mum and plan on doing the same as you. I have the babies room at the other end of the house (just because that happens to be where we have the space).  We have a spare room right next door, where if need be, I will sleep/collapse as necessary.


You have to do what is right for you and you won't know what is right until your bub comes.  Good luck....




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

Toddler freed after getting trapped in escalator

A shopping centre escalator needed to be pulled apart to free a toddler's trapped hand.

Why I'm kind of excited about my daughter's nits

Is it weird to say that I am secretly thrilled to find that my daughter Edie has nits?

Baby born at 10:11 on 12-13-14

Well, it's actually 13-12-14 to us over here. But still, Clare Elizabeth Keane's consecutive numerical birth time is pretty special.

On holding tightly and loving fiercely

We can't live in fear. This post is about Christmas and how at this time we should be celebrating life and grateful for what we have: our loved ones who we cherish fiercely.

Babies, relatives and coping with Christmas day

Everyone will love your baby but your baby may not be so happy to be passed around a lot of new people - nor may you want to feed with an audience.

Why I won't be posting pictures of my baby on Facebook

There are pros and cons to this policy.

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.