Jump to content

Changing high schools
Update : we've done it!


  • Please log in to reply
17 replies to this topic

#1 i-candi

Posted 30 October 2012 - 08:34 PM

It's become apparent DS can't stay at his current high school. While the school has been great helping him the bulling has got too much.

I swear DS has a sign on his back saying 'kick me'  sad.gif

I have an appointment at a different school on Friday and I've decided to take DS with me so he can ask questions.

The school is a lot smaller as it's still new and one of the biggest reasons everyone is telling me not to go is that they don't offer a large amount of options like his current school does (which has an amazing list of choices).

I've told DS that if the school doesn't offer his choices in year 11 and 12 he may have to move, however, he will be going into year 8 and year 11 is a long way off.

The biggest lure for us that his primary school best friend goes there, this boy is the only kid that DS has kept up a friendship with and has caught up a few times since school finished last year. At his high school DS only has one friend.

The new school is more expensive with less options but as DH said DS social welfare is far more important.

I have one group telling me going to a small school with less options is a bad choice and I have another saying it doesn't matter about options and DS needs to be happy. After this year why can't I have both for DS?  sad.gif

How do you make the choice to move? I will only do it at end of year, DS would never cope with a move mid year.

Edited by i-candi, 15 November 2012 - 09:39 PM.


#2 yabbadabbadoo

Posted 30 October 2012 - 09:54 PM

OP I have from time to time followed your thread as I have a boy who started high school this year and is having a great time.  The first time I read your post about his troubles at school I really felt for you and him and have paid attention since then.  

I think you should move him.  Our younger DS who is in Yr 5 is not having the same positive experience as his brother and at this stage his emotional and mental wellbeing are our focus.  He sees a clinical psychologist, but also has been seeing an educational psychologist.  Even she has said to me that none of his academic issues can be resolved until he is in a better frame of mind.  She said that his mental state is more important than anything.

I don't think limited options are a factor here.  What is the point of having all the options you could dream of, if you don;t even want to be there?  By powers of deduction, I have figured out what school he goes to and all I can tell you is my  step brother went there and to this day still talks about how much he hated it.  He says you very much have to fit a certain mould and if you don't there is no hope for you.  This is based on a conversation with him long before I read your posts.  

We considered the equivalent school here in Melbourne when we first moved as on paper it is fabulous.  We decided when older DS was in Yr 5 that it was not going to be right and chose another school.  More expensive and it meant moving house, but it has been fabulous.  It is also co-ed.  He as yet has not really engaged with the girls but he talks to them and they add a certain balance that he would not have gotten from the other school.  Both my boys are quite sensitive and I know that they would not have survived in an environment like that.

Good luck with your decision.  Your son deserves to be happy and whilst it sux that your dream/perfect school option hasn't worked out, it is time to move on and not dwell on it anymore.

Edited by yabbadabbadoo, 30 October 2012 - 09:55 PM.


#3 somila

Posted 31 October 2012 - 05:37 AM

I would move him and give him a fresh start.  The other broader options may be available in the community (club sport, community orchestra, private tuition) or by correspondence.  (My sister and I used this in our regional high schools).

While there is something to be said for overcoming bullying, it sounds like you, your son and the school have given it your best shot.  Some people are just toads (IMO original.gif) and need to be avoided.

My DS starts high school next year.  We have given school choice a LOT of thought/discussion and I think we are making the best decision for us all.  If he is miserable we will move him (and yes, we are so lucky to have options).

#4 AMPSyd

Posted 31 October 2012 - 05:47 AM

I agree with the "I would move him".

Academics are one thing but psychological wellbeing is much more important. He needs to be happy not bullied. I am in the same boat - well DS is yr 5 bit the highschool he will go to is small and has much more limited choices but the care given to the students is amazing. Being a sensitive child, I have been told he will get bullied at the local high-school (the school DS will go to is private).

#5 mumto3princesses

Posted 31 October 2012 - 06:15 AM

I would move him. Whatever the options are at his current school are don't matter. I would choose which school was better emotionally over options of classes.

I would look at other schools as well though if my child knew what they wanted to do and we knew that this new school didn't offer the subjects that my child needed. Does he have some ideas what he wants yet op?

I would do it for year 8 rather than wait because towards the end of year 8 they choose their electives for years 9 and 10.

Changing schools again for year 11 wouldn't bother me though. My DD1 goes to a small middle school which only goes to year 10 so she will have to change anyway.

#6 2bundles

Posted 31 October 2012 - 11:17 AM

I would also move.  I would also prefer DS to be in a smaller high school.  Smaller primary has been great for him.

State of mind is far more important than subject choice.  If he really wants more subject choice, he will be happy to move again in Yr 11 which will make it an easier move.

#7 i-candi

Posted 31 October 2012 - 07:34 PM

Thanks for all the replies. I feel so sick with worry. His current school seemed so good and I thought we were making the right choice I just don't want to stuff up again sad.gif I've not heard anyone that hasn't like DS current school.

There at two Anglican schools near us and we are smack bang in the middle of both. I'm a Roman Catholic and have enjoyed going back to mass, when I didn't work I'd take DS to school on Friday and go to community mass.

One I know an EB member here goes to the other school and is happy but if DS went there he wouldn't know anyone and I know will have trouble making friends. The other is the newer one with smaller cohort in the high school setting.

Then again he could suffer in any school I suppose sad.gif Home school is not an option as next year I start my full time permanent job at a primary school and DS will happily never leave the house.

#8 i-candi

Posted 15 November 2012 - 09:41 PM

DS will be changing schools next year to a smaller Anglican school closer to us.

I personally don't 'like' the school, I like the school he is currently at but it's not about me sad.gif . DS likes the school, likes the fact his friends go there, likes the fact that his friends don't get bullied.

Now I have to tell his current high school tomorrow that he won't be attending the school next year... sad.gif

#9 yabbadabbadoo

Posted 15 November 2012 - 11:03 PM

Great news OP.  Fingers crossed for a great 2013 school year especially with you having all the responsibility of your new full time job.  Can I ask why you don't like the new school?

#10 i-candi

Posted 16 November 2012 - 05:42 AM

QUOTE (yabbadabbadoo @ 16/11/2012, 12:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Great news OP.  Fingers crossed for a great 2013 school year especially with you having all the responsibility of your new full time job.  Can I ask why you don't like the new school?



Superficial reasons to be honest. It's newish, it has no heart. It is just buildings in the Australian bush. I like the green fields and pastures of his 'old' school, the age, the traditions, the feeling of belonging to a community. I like the country out look of DS's old school, the cattle and the horticulture.

I'm also nervous because soooo many people I've talked to either hate the school or love it  unsure.gif  DS's old school I didn't hear one bad thing about the school yet it just wasn't the right school for DS. I've known a few people to leave the new school for all different reasons. Yikes I'm scared....


Thanks for the best wishes for 2013, it's going to be an amazing year - I hope. I need one after this year!!!!

Edited by i-candi, 16 November 2012 - 05:47 AM.


#11 Foogle

Posted 16 November 2012 - 05:54 AM

Just caught up on this thread i-Candi.  So sad to hear about his current school - I knew you had high hopes for it.

Are you sure about your school choice now?  I know which one you are talking about.  Can I change your mind about the other?  biggrin.gif   biggrin.gif


#12 GoneWithTheWhinge

Posted 16 November 2012 - 06:02 AM

I moved my Yr8 boy mid term recently (he has been at new school 2 weeks now), he was at local public high school (all his friends, walking distance, everything brand sparkling new) where he was unhappy and had built himself a bad reputation (yes all his doing) which wasn't going anywhere however hard he tried, he was blamed for things he hadn't done simply because not so long ago it would have been him doing it! This school had a wealth of options, he had got into both of his first choice options for Yr9 and 10.

He is now at a school where its older, its not as shiny but he is happy so far, he comes out of school telling me about things he has done with a smile, which is something I hadn't seen in months. He is animated about what they are going to do as well. He didn't get into either of his Yr 9 options. They have a more limited range of options, he knew nobody at the school but it was the best move we have ever made.

I believe a happy, settled child will do far better than one who is finding going to school emotionally hard and is struggling to be positive about school life.

Best wishes to your son through this, I hope he can find a school which fits him better and makes him happy

#13 Rexit

Posted 16 November 2012 - 06:26 AM

I was in this very situation myself - except I was the child. I can honestly say moving schools was the best thing my mother did for me. Even though I had a large group of friends at the old school the bullying had gotten to the point where it was physical/sexual and I was completely depressed. The new school had far fewer options academically, but I was so happy to not have to walk in and be scared every single day. My new school was also in its infancy but they were determined to do things right. I was still able to follow the tertiary pathway I'd wanted to take but more importantly I have a self-esteem and confidence. TBH I think being miserable may have hindered my options.

#14 i-candi

Posted 16 November 2012 - 09:27 AM

QUOTE (Foogle @ 16/11/2012, 06:54 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Just caught up on this thread i-Candi.  So sad to hear about his current school - I knew you had high hopes for it.

Are you sure about your school choice now?  I know which one you are talking about.  Can I change your mind about the other?  biggrin.gif   biggrin.gif



lol DS wouldn't know anyone there! That would be a huge issue for him. I'm still unsure about the new school but later today I'll send in the $500 to secure the spot.  sad.gif

I just had long meetings today with his current school, they were surprised and sad to see DS go. They tried to talk me into staying but I told them he can't stay, there is nothing the current school can do to change the culture that is so ingrained - it's a culture that my DS can't cope with. They did say that DS is welcomed back if his new school doesn't work out. I was very emotional, today is a sad day for me but I can't let DS pick up on that. He is excited about leaving and going to a new school and that is all that matters.

crap what if it's all wrong??????

#15 ComradeBob

Posted 16 November 2012 - 09:38 AM

QUOTE (GoneWithTheWhinge @ 16/11/2012, 07:02 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I believe a happy, settled child will do far better than one who is finding going to school emotionally hard and is struggling to be positive about school life.

Best wishes to your son through this, I hope he can find a school which fits him better and makes him happy

GWTW has summed it up perfectly for me. It doesn't matter how many opportunities there are if he's so depressed and unhappy he doesn't want to take advantage of them. Better to go to a school with less opportunities, but to have a happy child who will grasp those opportunities with both hands and run with them.

I think you've done the right thing, and I hope your DS prospers  original.gif

#16 Llama in Pyjamas

Posted 16 November 2012 - 09:40 AM

Id stop worrying too much about the options in Yr 11.. Its a long way off, the current school might be able to offer the options your son needs - or there are always correspondence classes with teacher support.. Hope everything goes well.

#17 Therese

Posted 16 November 2012 - 09:46 AM

I think you have made the right decision. I really hope that this makes things easier for your son.

#18 Foogle

Posted 16 November 2012 - 11:04 AM

QUOTE
crap what if it's all wrong??????

It won't be though because it's wrong for him to stay where he is now and if he is happy about the move then it can only be better.

You're right about nothing ever changing with regards to the culture of his current school.  It's too entrenched.

And as hard as it is, I think you've made the right decision. original.gif





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Funny Father's Day cards

A little fun never goes astray when celebrating special occasions and Father's Day is no different. We've rounded up some funny Father's day cards for your husbands, fathers and other important men in your lives.

Electronic tags may keep newborns safe

The possibility of using electronic bracelets for mothers and their newborn babies is being investigated by Adelaide's Women's and Children's Hospital. 

Baby steps: when your little one starts walking

As a parent there are so many milestones to look forward to. That first smile, first word - and, of course, that first step.

Julia Watson's new book 'Breakfast, School Run, Chemo'

Tomorrow my friend Julia launches her first book. And while we're all overjoyed, the success is tinged with sadness. You see, Julia has stage 4 bowel cancer.

How not to name twins

Call me boring, but I don't think that when it comes to choosing my twins' names is the right time to use a good pun.

Fun Sunny Life pool inflatables just for babies

The babies of 2015 will thus be thrilled to paddle their happy baby legs in these brand new flamingo and swan baby inflatables.

Baby and bulldog born on the same day are best friends

When Chicago mum Ivette Ivens saw a French bulldog puppy who had the same birthdate as her son Dilan, she "just knew it?s meant to be" and took him home. Five months later, puppy Farley and Dilan are the best of friends - as Ivens says, "I?m pretty sure Dilan thinks they?re both the same species, as they walk at the same level and are both going through the stage of chewing on everything.?

Breastfeeding basics for beginners

Here are 10 tips to help make breastfeeding successful and stress free for both you and your baby as quickly as possible.

Girl smothers baby brother with peanut butter

This mum had a big clean up job on her hands.

How to hide those under eye shadows

Pandas are the only ones who benefit from under-eye shadows. If you're not fluffy and cute, you'll just look tired.

Young mum dies after being denied pap smear

A mother has died after she was denied a pap smear because she was deemed "too young" to need it.

Birthday cakes banned at childcare centre

A childcare centre in Sydney has banned birthday cakes after parent complaints about excessive sugar and children with allergies being left out.

Triplet surprise for newlyweds

As the radiographer moved the wand over her abdomen, Shelley King got the surprise of her life.

3 yummy Thermomix baby and toddler recipes

Louise Fulton Keats shares her recipes for babies and toddlers, including corn and sweet pikelets, pumpkin and pea risotto, and cheesy bunny biscuits.

Man arrested over toddler Nikki's death

A 31-year-old man has been arrested over the death of two-year-old Nikki Francis-Coslovich in Mildura.

Adoption ban on pregnant women to be lifted

Pregnant women will no longer be barred from adoption waiting lists in NSW, after the Baird Government decided the practice was discriminatory.

Are you getting enough magnesium?

Magnesium is the fourth most abundant mineral in the body, but we don't talk enough about it and the vital role it plays in great health and energy, as well as disease prevention.

5 workplace lessons for new parents

Take heart in these principles that will transfer seamlessly from the workplace into your new life as a parent.

Mums to follow on Instagram

A creative outlet for many, there are some savvy women complementing their blogs and businesses with riveting Instagrams feeds. We've chosen a few which have bucketloads of appeal; there are some big time players and some smaller local ones, and they each bring their special brand of magic to the Instagram experience.

Review: The Volvo 2015 XC90 SUV has all the safety features your family needs

The new Volvo XC90 SUV's focus on keeping you safe does not come at the expense of comfort in the XC90.

Kim Kardashian reveals she may have hysterectomy

Kim Kardashian has revealed complications during pregnancy means she might have to have a hysterectomy after the birth of her second child.

Why late night snacks wreak havoc on weight loss

 Loath as you may be to admit it, chances are that at some point you have found yourself in the kitchen late at night, devouring food.

Toddler twins pretend to be asleep to fool mum

They say twins have a unique connection. If this cute clip is anything to go by, these toddler sisters like to use their special bond to try to fool their mother.

Dad bags: 10 picks for out and about

Getting out of the house is a big priority in the early years of parenthood and you need to take a well-stocked kit with you. We've chosen 10 of the best nappy bags sure to appeal to dads in style and function.

Win a Mountain Buggy Swift

To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Dads who do their share have more sex: study

For women trying to encourage their partners to take more interest in fatherhood, it could be the ultimate incentive.

Think you might have IBS, coeliac disease or Crohn's?

Conditions affecting the gastrointestinal tract are common in modern humans, and many are on the rise - including irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) and coeliac disease.

Couple poses for newborn shoot with adorable puppy

Tired of being asked about their baby-making plans, Australian couple Matt and Abby decided to give a creative answer.

The exercises you know you should be doing (but probably aren't)

I bet your to-do list today is long. But somewhere on that massive list, are you making time for your pelvic floor?

This baby really loves the family cat

Some babies get excited when mum or dad come to get them from their cot after a nap.

Designer kids clothing good enough to eat by Oeuf

Even if you aren't heading to the Northern hemisphere in the next six months, you can't help but love the amazing food-themed knits for babies and kids by cult kids brand Oeuf.

Early exposure to peanuts recommended for allergy prevention

A paediatricians' group is recommending that infants at high risk of peanut allergies be given foods containing peanuts before they turn one.

Home brand foods contain less salt than pricier rivals

Supermarket home brand foods, long derided as cheap and inferior, contain far lower levels of salt than pricier, branded rivals, new research shows.

Nannies for hire, wherever you're flying

Ever dreaded the prospect of a long flight, dreaming about how wonderful it would be for a nanny to entertain the kids?

Couple poses for newborn shoot with adorable puppy

Tired of being asked about their baby-making plans, Australian couple Matt and Abby decided to give a creative answer: with an unusual photo shoot with their 'baby', a groodle (poodle/golden retriever cross) named Humphrey. The talented Elisha from Elisha Minnette Photography caught all the precious shots.

Is it okay to name your baby with a sense of humour?

My husband was sure that Danger was a good option for a boy. And as the pregnancy progressed, it actually started to sound really good.

Woman gives birth after having her own mother's uterus transplanted

In a world first, a healthy baby has been born from the same womb that nurtured his own mother.

So hot right now: double-barrelled baby names on the rise

It's one way to make your baby stand out from the pack – giving them not one, but two first names.

Second time around: is it really better the devil you know?

When I fell pregnant with my second child I was, naturally, very excited. Then it all started to come back to me - and I freaked.

Shopping with kids: breaking the pester-power cycle

You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.

How did we have babies before apps came along?

Three months ago, my wife, Chrysta, and I were driving along Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles when she let out a harrowing cry.

When your toddler disagrees

There comes a time when your child starts having different views to you. I didn't realise that time would come so soon.

Win a Pacapod this Father's Day

To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW

 

FREE TICKET

Discover the magic of the LEGOŽ DUPLOŽ Play Area in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.