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IVF Multiple Cycles and the Long Haul BG #15
113 replies to this topic
Posted 30 October 2012 - 04:46 PM
How are we all, ladies?
Edited by librablonde, 30 October 2012 - 04:48 PM.
Posted 30 October 2012 - 04:51 PM
Well aren't you a sparkly one there Libra... looking good!
I am at peak fatness - not even my lovely silver glow can sort that one out...
Posted 30 October 2012 - 05:04 PM
I'm also at peak fatness In fact, right now DP and I are "going for gold" with some yummy food tonight. We start our new diet tomorrow so are making a mega-feast for dinner tonight and then having fudge for dessert, possibly accompanied by some Frangelico and Bailey's shots while we rub our bellies with satisfaction....
My new low-carb DIEt starts tomorrow. Crap
The fudge is from my newest favourite place on earth:
Edited by librablonde, 30 October 2012 - 05:04 PM.
Posted 30 October 2012 - 05:09 PM
We went to the Honey Shop in Chudleigh on the weekend for the BEST ICE CREAM IN THE WORLD!
You must go there.... (maybe after the die t)
Posted 30 October 2012 - 07:15 PM
libra and countrymel, YUM! I've been eating up a storm in Hawaii. I challenge anyone to keep to a strict healthy diet in Hawaii when you are in the 2ww - so nothing raw.
We survived the tsunami, scary stuff seeing the ocean sucked out along the beach at least 10 metres further than normal, then not coming back in for hours....
Trying to stay positive...
Hi everyone else
Posted 30 October 2012 - 09:08 PM
Spock, good to see all is going well and you stayed safe with that tsunami.
Country mel and Libra, I love food. You know how I lost like 14 kilos prepping for trying again, well I gained 3 back in bali and now about another 3 since being home. I am on my fat pills the good ole dex but anyway I keep feeling like I am making myself cosy for this pregnancy.
Speaking of which and only one day into the 2ww and not feeling too bad, had a busy day which helps, and also I am that tired and the good old crinone has me peeing a few times a night so the broken sleep again. Ah its all worth it though.
Hello to everyone else I hope you are all well
Posted 03 November 2012 - 02:47 PM
hi ladies, things aren't looking good. I did a hpt today and it came back negative
official blood test is Tuesday
Posted 03 November 2012 - 05:46 PM
Oh Spock, I just saw your post. Dear God, what a kick in the guts that HPT must have been for you You know your own body the best, but I'm hoping and praying this one works out for you. I don't know what else to say. Just keep hanging on. You're in my thoughts and prayers, Spock xoxox
Posted 03 November 2012 - 06:52 PM
Thanks libra, I'm not feeling positive at all. The day before we left Hawaii I had some very low pains, deep down. These lasted a good 1/2 hour, didn't feel good. I knew something had happened that wasn't good but I was trying to stay positive.
My body has let me down in so many ways - crappy eggs, can't carry a pregnancy
This will be the end of this road. I can't keep doing this. I've lost too many babies. I've forgotten how to live like a 'normal' person.
Once my bt on Tuesday confirms this bad news, we are moving on to surrogacy. We still want children.
Why, why, why...Spock
Posted 04 November 2012 - 01:30 PM
Hi Spock- have you HPT'ed today? What DPO are you? You're in my thoughts this weekend xoxox
Posted 05 November 2012 - 07:04 PM
Spock how is it all going? I am thinking of you and praying for that bfp.
hello everyone else I hope you are all going well.
Posted 08 November 2012 - 06:20 PM
Spock how did you go.
10dp3dt and bfn on hpt today. Beta tomorrow but not confident, have had lots of symptoms, We were really confident with the quality of embryos to now be shattered again.
Straight back into an fet, I may need to shoot myself after another 2ww, they are the worst.
hello to everyone it is so quiet in here I hope you are all well.
Posted 14 November 2012 - 09:08 PM
where is everyone. Is there no-one long hauling anymore??????
Spock I am hoping that no news is good news.
Libra how is life treating you?
Hello to everyone else.
Waiting for another fet. Tracking for ovulation starts Friday with bloods. Straight back into it after the last one didnt work obviously. Trying to get that BFP for Christmas. Hopefully my 2 lovely embryos thaw wonderfully and put me in the 2ww for my 40th......
Posted 15 November 2012 - 11:55 AM
Halby- good to hear you're forging ahead before Christmas. Does your clinic close for holidays? Mine does.
Spock- how are you right now, hon? I'm so sorry for your BFN and you've been in my thoughts xoxo
Mitchp- how are you going?
A big hi to all the other Long Haulers.
AFM- well, I've just decided after much soul searching and procrastinating and b/s that I just can't face doing another ET yet. I was meant to do it in Sept, then November and now I'll aim for January..... My 41 yo bodyclock is screaming at me to get cracking but I just feel like laying back for another ET would be like I'd be lining up for a firing squad. It fills me with such dread and anxiety and I know it's totally irrational. Maybe I need more counselling, I don't know. Maybe I just need to harden the f*ck up and get over it and just plough ahead. I'm very aware that I'm almost out of time And so much time has passed since the m/c that it's ridiculous, I know that. I guess I'm wrestling with how badly do I really want to go through that again verses house badly do I want a child? I don't know the answer yet.....
So I'll continue to tread water here and comfort-eat and hopefully come to a resolution very soon. Ugh!
Edited by librablonde, 15 November 2012 - 11:57 AM.
Posted 15 November 2012 - 04:18 PM
Libra, you have been through a very rough loss, maybe more counseling will help you move forward. Your fear of the next et is rational - you are reacting as any normal person would.
Halby, sorry to read about your bfn but great you are moving forward.
Afm, well, sadly this road is over for us. Bfn. I actually had contractions with my body rejecting the 2 beautiful embies. I can't do this anymore. The emotional fallout is too much. I just want a baby now. We are moving on to surrogacy. Complicated to do in Australia but that is all that is left for us to try. I won't be posting regularly anymore on this forum, seeing I won't be cycling ever again. I will pop in to wish all you amazing ladies best of luck. I'm hoping to see more graduates with babies.
I think I will be okay eventually. I'm going to see a counsellor tomorrow to help me deal with my emotions as I am a mess. Once I hold my babies in my arms I just know all of this heartache will have been worth it.
Posted 15 November 2012 - 05:40 PM
Oh Spock I wish you all the best with the surrogacy. And I look forward to hearing about you holding those babies in your arms. You have really been through so much and councelling will I am sure help over time. Thank you for always sharing your feelings and hopes and desires with us all as we can share in each others journey and the pain that comes with it. Take very good care of yourself and your dh.
Libra, I can understand your feeling but dont despair about that stupid body clock, they always tick on. and my fs just told me she has 2 ladies at the moment 41 and 43 that have just recently heard the beautiful sounds of heartbeats, and so far so good. Please just dont let that put pressure on you, you try again when the time is right for you
Posted 01 December 2012 - 02:05 PM
Hi Ladies, can i join you? have been posting around here the last yr or so but maybe not in this group.
Am about to officially get my BFN on tuesday.....POAS today at 11 days post 2 day embryo transfer and got a negative. Am so sad and depressed. After 4 IUI's, and this now my 3rd embryo transfer with a chemical pregnancy to start with im at my wits end. My birthday coming up.......dont feel like celebrating at all, and xmas going to be a real challenge. Am sooooo thankful I have got DD (2.5) but the thought of her growing up an only child breaks my heart.
Thanks for listening.....
Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:20 PM
welcome sunshine and I soooooo hear you. I just got my BFN on Sunday beta was 2 days after my 40th birthday, so like you didnt much feel like celebrating as I knew that day after poas the day before what was coming. I also have DD just turned 4 and same thing as you this isnt as much for me as for her as I dont really want her being an only child. Now I am in the spot of trying to convince DH to try again next year. I think he is on board from what he said after the result was "We'll talk about it next year" so I am taking that as another stim cycle here we come. So again for me another Chrissy and New year fat as hell from all my steroids I take for implantation and yet no damn pregnancy. sh*t bugger sh*t bugger......................how old are you sunshine????? And was your DD ivf or natural? Its very quiet in this group these days so I am not sure where everyone has gone but hello to you all I hope all is going well.
Libra thinking of you and wondering where you were at?? Still in Limbo????? I hope everything is ok
Mitchp what about you and dp anything happening for you both?
Spock I hope all is well and that the surogacy is moving forward and really looking forward to hearing some happy news from you soon.
Well ladies I hope that we can get some spark into this group with some BFP's soon. I'm in the naughty 40's now, who said that 40's is too old to be having babies, I completely disagree, I dont feel old, and I am going to keep telling my body it is NOT old either.....
Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:23 PM
Hello to every single one of you awesome women!
I am so sad to read all that has happened since I was in here last in October. My god life is cruel.
Well, next year is going to be our last hurrah too in terms of trying to concieve. DH does not want to adopt either.
We have decided after much soul searching that it may well be time to move on to a donor and get better eggs. Devastating for me in many ways as it means acknowledging the fact that mine really are crap and then also knowing that this baby won't be 100% mine. However, the silver lining to this is that my sister has incredibly offered to donate her eggs to us and is meeting with our FS in the new year.
I think DH and I are going to give it one last go ourselves early in the new year and then move on to donor eggs.
It's really hard coming to terms with the fact that what you have inside and were given at birth isn't good enough to help produce a life.
We would have liked to try at least another 3 times next year and then try with my sister from middle of next year. However, donor cycles are our clinic are different in terms of payment and we need to come up with teh whole amount at the start, so that will really set us back.
If this doesn't work then we have reached the end of the road and will be living our life together as a childless couple. At least we know we tried, right.
If I don't post again before Christmas, I wish you and your partners the best Christmas possible and I pray that the new year for all of us seems brighter and brings with it all our hearts' desires.
Posted 11 December 2012 - 04:17 PM
Oh dreamstoreality, You have certainly brought some tears to my eyes reading your post. Your baby will still truly be yours as 9 months is a long time inside your womb, and I pray that your sister has the wonderful eggs needed to help you and dh out. Or maybe even a wonderful result before having to venture down that road.
Well our luck really has to turn ladies that is for sure......... It certainly cant get any bloody worse really. Had an fs appointment yesterday and asked about everything. Good news is I suppose that my eggs are good, as 100% fertilisation at my age is apparently as rare as 1% and reflective of that. BUT still not getting pregnant so very frustrating also. If DH does agree to do another cycle next year, then it will be an antogonist, with a 5 day transfer if all going well, and she still believes go with a fresh transfer. That part I'm not sure about, so we will see how I respond. I did a blood yesterday to check my amh as I am curious. Neither FS or I expect it to be too low as I get atleast 6 or so eggs, but she was straight up and advised that if it is less than 1 she would reccomend giving up on ivf. Also thinks I should talk to the head scientist about possibly doing embryo testing to ween out the chromosonally abnormal embryos, its so expensive though so I really dont know about that one. Its given me a lot to ponder over I suppose. But for now it will be think of Christmas and the blessings I have that many others dont, so to you all a fabulous christmas and new year with wishes come true in 2013
Posted 11 December 2012 - 06:31 PM
yep, it's been quiet in here of late. We need some good news stories in here, Long Haulers!
Sunshinechick- welcome to our little gang.
DTR- the pain in your words was heartbreaking, I'm so sorry you haven't had any luck yet. It's good to hear your sister can donate for you and maybe that'll be the way to go. I have no words of advice, this infertility gig is just such a hard row to hoe. I really hope you and your DH have some luck in the New Year before you have to start the donor egg option, but as Halby said, the baby will be absolutely yours whether it started life with your egg or even your womb. Being a mother is so much more than genetics and circumstance.
Halby- it sounds like an antagonist cycle is the way to go. They certainly were more positive for me, although I produced fewer eggs than other cycles. It did seem that the egg quality was better with an antagonist for me but I guess it varies for everyone. Can you perhaps query doing a 5 day freshie but freeze any others at day 2/3? Might be a good way to hedge your bets? I don't know, I'm just clutching at straws here. I guess it'll depend on how many eggs you do get.
Mitchp- how are you guys?
Spock- how have you coping?
Countrymel- I hope you're doing ok.
AFM- well, I've been lurking in here rather than posting b/c I've been in the doldrums and had nothing positive to say really. Yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of Gabe's birth and I've been horribly down for weeks. I think I'm also just over myself and sick of the whole situation. I'm actually embarrassed that I'm still so raw about this issue and really feel I should be picking myself up and stop whining on about it by now. But the reality is the yesterday showed me my feelings are still so fresh and sharp despite me languishing for a whole bloody 12 months and wasting my precious time. I keep putting off going to my FS, I look like a morbidly obese whale and I can't even be bothered with thinking about bloody IVF. I just hate the whole thing. HATEHATEHATE IT!!!! FU*KING HATE IT But without IVF I'll never have a baby so I just have to suck it up and deal with it one way or another. Rock? Meet Hard Place.
So I'm meant to be doing a FET in Jan... I make no promises now, I guess we'll see if I let that deadline slide by again. Anyway, I can't even be bothered typing about it now, it just makes me cranky and I'm sick of being cranky, too. I know my tale of woe is nothing compared to the stories of some Long Haulers heartache so I think I'll just continue lurking and sending you all my love and very best fertility vibes. I just so badly wish we all were given a break by the universe, having a baby shouldn't be so incredibly hard. I really love this little group and hope 2013 brings more joy to us all xoxoxxo
Edited by librablonde, 11 December 2012 - 06:32 PM.
Posted 11 December 2012 - 08:14 PM
*** PG MENTIONED ****
I hope it's ok if I pop in and post. We recently got our BFP (12 week scan tomorrow morning so hoping everything's still ok) after 5 years of trying but there were definitely times when I just went f*ck it all!!!!
Sometimes it just feels so overwhelming, especially with loss.
I just wanted to post a quote from a movie (The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel) which I've shared before on EB and remind myself over and over again.
"It will be alright in the end. And if it's not alright, then it is not the end".
Wishing you the absolute best of luck, you are so incredibly brave.
Posted 21 December 2012 - 11:28 AM
Hello my long haul friends!
Just popped in to let you now that I took the bit between my teeth and booked myself an appointment on Feb. 5.
Decided that the Mayan end/new era date was as good as any! I am in the same mind set as you libra but something has to give... and THIS morbidly obese whale is just going to do it!
I've still got a couple of frosties on ice and I've decided that I don't give a fart if we can afford it or not - those little chaps are better off inside my geriatric old womb than they are sitting in an expensive freezer!
Yay for you Magenta! Merry, merry Christmas indeed!
I'm off to spend a dire Christmas in the oppressive heat with my deranged in-laws. Please wish me luck!
Posted 25 December 2012 - 05:57 PM
Merry Christmas, my wonderful, strong, caring Long Haulers.
May 2013 be The Year for you all.
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