Not sure how to be happy this time
Mine Site Wife
, Oct 25 2012 08:27 PM
8 replies to this topic
Posted 25 October 2012 - 08:27 PM
Hi Ladies, I'm new to this forum and very sorry to hear about your losses, I know that it is the worst feeling in the world.
But my question is not how to deal with the loss I have done that... what I want to know is how do I get excited about this pregnancy (BFP This morning) and not stress too much about loosing this one too. I'm only 4 weeks at this point... and Im terrified it will just be a repeat of my loss in March. We lost our guardian angel baby at 7 weeks in March and since then have dealt with the loss. At this point I'm not overly confident that we will get very far with this pregnancy but I dont want past experience to affect what should be a happy time?
Posted 25 October 2012 - 08:38 PM
I think after a loss you never have that naive excitement about another pregnancy. I went through IVF after our loss due to fertility issues, but I found it reassuring to have two blood tests to confirm my HCG was rising well (14 and 17DPO) and I had two scans at 6.5 and 8.5 weeks. This was easy to arrange as I did it through my fertility specialist, but your GP will be able to refer you for a blood test and at least one scan - might be tricky to justify two though. If you see a heat beat at 7 weeks your chances of miscarriage are very low.
The stats for miscarriage are less than 1 in 4, so your chances of two in a row are less than 1 in 16 (6%) with a 94% chance of a successful pregnancy. Try to think positive! Best of luck.
Posted 25 October 2012 - 08:38 PM
It's not easy of course, I think I swayed between excitement and being terrified,
for us we had to wait not just past the 8 week mark to heartbeat , size et, but also to week 13 for diagnostic testing...I think it was the longest 10 weeks ever..I was very stressed which effected my sleeping, mood swings as well as what come s with the hormones ..l I am surprised work didn't suggest medication!!
Surround yourself with caring support, keep busy, I sorted 5 boxes of family photos , organized Christmas decorations, wrapping paper, you name it.. I was on a mission!!!
I had three wonderful dear friends that were there with me, of course so was DH but he was as worried , to talk to ....
Wishing you all the best...
Posted 21 November 2012 - 11:31 AM
Hi there, sorry to hear about your loss, it's a horrible experience I know.I am sort of in the same situation as you- although I haven't tested yet, I'm about 95% certain I'm pregnant after a loss last year. I'm kind if excited and want to know if I am preg or not, but at the same time- completely scared and terrified and worried we will loose again. I don't have much advice to offer, besides really keeping the communication lines open with your partner, it helps me when I'm scared and he reminds me of why were doing this, to have a family & be happy. Always here if you need a chat, good luck hun xxxx
Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:19 PM
so im in exactly the same boat, got my bfp this morning after a cp last month and i honeslty felt nothing! last time i was laughing and crying and ringing everyone, this time it just means nothing to me, like i dont even really believe it even though i can see it with my own 2 eyes you know? i feel very disconnected and am hoping that soon i will be able to feel that wonderful contented maternal feeling again.....fx we both will soon
Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:24 PM
It doesnt get easier. I have had two losses this year. And currently 5w2d. I cant get excited about it all and not sure what it will take before I do. Sorry not much help but know your not alone. x
Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:36 PM
For me personally, whilst I was thrilled to be pregnant, I also fully expected to miscarriage. For me it was a self preservation thing I think. I figured if I expected to lose it, it wouldn't hurt as much when it happened (I'd had one cp prior, followed by a m/c at 7 weeks).
I guess I was lucky that I had morning sickness (from when I woke up til when I went to bed) from weeks 7-17, so that gave me some comfort. I figured if I was puking, I was still pregnant. Weeks 18 & 19 were hard. No puking, I felt amazing, but still hadn't felt any baby movements. I was sure it had died & was in tears to my DH the night before my 20 week scan. But, on scan day my little jelly bean was in there doing back flips, I just couldn't feel them!
I finally felt the baby kick at 23 weeks and from that point on I was able to relax as I could always feel the bubba in there & know it was ok.
My superstition didn't let me buy anything for the baby until after 24 weeks ("viability"), but once I started shopping it was lovely.
As scared as I was, I found telling other people & having them get excited helped me get excited. My Aunty sent me a tiny onesie, that got me all clucky.
Just go with what your heart / body / mind tells you OP. The excitement will come, even if it takes a while. It's only natural to be scared.
Good luck with your pregnancy!!
Edited by HurryUpAlready, 09 December 2012 - 10:43 PM.
Posted 28 December 2012 - 08:24 AM
Not sure OP, I am in the same boat! Lost in oct this year x2 @ 11weeks. Had a funny feeling last week but to scared to test, so I finially did this morning and got BFP I would be 5.5weeks- havent told anyone...not even hubby.
Will try to call my ob next week and try and get in for a scan. Maybe I will feel excited once i hear a heartbeat!
Goodluck & fingers crossed for all of us
Posted 11 February 2013 - 08:33 AM
I'm new as well, but I totally understand how you are feeling. I have lost 3 in the past year, and just got a BFP yesterday morning. Whilst I was happy to see the BFP, I feeling no where near the excitement of the past ones, and feel like it's just going to happen again.
All I can say is that each and every pregancy is different to the last, and believe in the quote that goes something like "it's better to have loved and been hurt that to have not loved at all".
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.
Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.
The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.
Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.
The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.
Life On Mars
We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.
A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.
I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.
I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.
Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.
Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.
Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.
Working out what?s underlying your baby's fussiness can be a case of trial and error. Here are a few common causes and how you can remedy each one.
In today's society, never has it been harder to parent without judgment. But what about when judgment is coming from closer to home?
It's not a woman's job to teach violent men how to behave.
When I told my mothers? group that my husband and I had started trying for our second baby they told me I was crazy. Now I can see why.
New mum Sarah Sutton was faced with a shattering scenario no person should have to endure.
"It's a boy!" That's the phrase Kateri Schwandt has heard in labour delivery ward for the 13th time in her life.
Can't find time to get to the gym? It could be just as beneficial to put your baby in the stroller and go for a walk.
If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.
It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?
After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.
Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.
A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.
We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.
It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.
My standards at home were never that high but having a two-year-old has taught me to be cool with chaos.
The numbers have been crunched and it's official: Australian parents are having a bit of an 'O' moment.
You'll soon be meeting your baby, but you've got one big task to get done first: setting up a comfy, calming nursery you'll both be able to enjoy.
A new form of activity testing will be introduced to ensure the highest subsidies go to parents who contribute the most to the workforce.
For women suffering from chronic morning sickness or hyperemesis gravidarum, pregnancy can be the roller coaster from hell.
I never actually went into labour - so by 42 weeks I was booked in for induction.
The death of Sophie Smith's triplet baby boys has motivated the half-marathon mother and her team to raise $1.25 million for charity.
Just like a horror movie ... THEY'RE BAAAAAACK. So what works in treating and avoiding head lice and nits?
A watched womb never labours ... or at least mine didn't.
Watching your child take their first wobbly steps is one of the best parenting highs you'll ever experience. But with that high comes a new reality.
My baby wasn't interested in food - until we tried something new. Now she's eating it all, and it often comes from my plate.
Rachelle Friedman Chapman was preparing to marry the man of her dreams when tragedy struck four years ago.
Top baby names
The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.