Not sure how to be happy this time
Mine Site Wife
, Oct 25 2012 08:27 PM
8 replies to this topic
Posted 25 October 2012 - 08:27 PM
Hi Ladies, I'm new to this forum and very sorry to hear about your losses, I know that it is the worst feeling in the world.
But my question is not how to deal with the loss I have done that... what I want to know is how do I get excited about this pregnancy (BFP This morning) and not stress too much about loosing this one too. I'm only 4 weeks at this point... and Im terrified it will just be a repeat of my loss in March. We lost our guardian angel baby at 7 weeks in March and since then have dealt with the loss. At this point I'm not overly confident that we will get very far with this pregnancy but I dont want past experience to affect what should be a happy time?
Posted 25 October 2012 - 08:38 PM
I think after a loss you never have that naive excitement about another pregnancy. I went through IVF after our loss due to fertility issues, but I found it reassuring to have two blood tests to confirm my HCG was rising well (14 and 17DPO) and I had two scans at 6.5 and 8.5 weeks. This was easy to arrange as I did it through my fertility specialist, but your GP will be able to refer you for a blood test and at least one scan - might be tricky to justify two though. If you see a heat beat at 7 weeks your chances of miscarriage are very low.
The stats for miscarriage are less than 1 in 4, so your chances of two in a row are less than 1 in 16 (6%) with a 94% chance of a successful pregnancy. Try to think positive! Best of luck.
Posted 25 October 2012 - 08:38 PM
It's not easy of course, I think I swayed between excitement and being terrified,
for us we had to wait not just past the 8 week mark to heartbeat , size et, but also to week 13 for diagnostic testing...I think it was the longest 10 weeks ever..I was very stressed which effected my sleeping, mood swings as well as what come s with the hormones ..l I am surprised work didn't suggest medication!!
Surround yourself with caring support, keep busy, I sorted 5 boxes of family photos , organized Christmas decorations, wrapping paper, you name it.. I was on a mission!!!
I had three wonderful dear friends that were there with me, of course so was DH but he was as worried , to talk to ....
Wishing you all the best...
Posted 21 November 2012 - 11:31 AM
Hi there, sorry to hear about your loss, it's a horrible experience I know.I am sort of in the same situation as you- although I haven't tested yet, I'm about 95% certain I'm pregnant after a loss last year. I'm kind if excited and want to know if I am preg or not, but at the same time- completely scared and terrified and worried we will loose again. I don't have much advice to offer, besides really keeping the communication lines open with your partner, it helps me when I'm scared and he reminds me of why were doing this, to have a family & be happy. Always here if you need a chat, good luck hun xxxx
Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:19 PM
so im in exactly the same boat, got my bfp this morning after a cp last month and i honeslty felt nothing! last time i was laughing and crying and ringing everyone, this time it just means nothing to me, like i dont even really believe it even though i can see it with my own 2 eyes you know? i feel very disconnected and am hoping that soon i will be able to feel that wonderful contented maternal feeling again.....fx we both will soon
Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:24 PM
It doesnt get easier. I have had two losses this year. And currently 5w2d. I cant get excited about it all and not sure what it will take before I do. Sorry not much help but know your not alone. x
Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:36 PM
For me personally, whilst I was thrilled to be pregnant, I also fully expected to miscarriage. For me it was a self preservation thing I think. I figured if I expected to lose it, it wouldn't hurt as much when it happened (I'd had one cp prior, followed by a m/c at 7 weeks).
I guess I was lucky that I had morning sickness (from when I woke up til when I went to bed) from weeks 7-17, so that gave me some comfort. I figured if I was puking, I was still pregnant. Weeks 18 & 19 were hard. No puking, I felt amazing, but still hadn't felt any baby movements. I was sure it had died & was in tears to my DH the night before my 20 week scan. But, on scan day my little jelly bean was in there doing back flips, I just couldn't feel them!
I finally felt the baby kick at 23 weeks and from that point on I was able to relax as I could always feel the bubba in there & know it was ok.
My superstition didn't let me buy anything for the baby until after 24 weeks ("viability"), but once I started shopping it was lovely.
As scared as I was, I found telling other people & having them get excited helped me get excited. My Aunty sent me a tiny onesie, that got me all clucky.
Just go with what your heart / body / mind tells you OP. The excitement will come, even if it takes a while. It's only natural to be scared.
Good luck with your pregnancy!!
Edited by HurryUpAlready, 09 December 2012 - 10:43 PM.
Posted 28 December 2012 - 08:24 AM
Not sure OP, I am in the same boat! Lost in oct this year x2 @ 11weeks. Had a funny feeling last week but to scared to test, so I finially did this morning and got BFP I would be 5.5weeks- havent told anyone...not even hubby.
Will try to call my ob next week and try and get in for a scan. Maybe I will feel excited once i hear a heartbeat!
Goodluck & fingers crossed for all of us
Posted 11 February 2013 - 08:33 AM
I'm new as well, but I totally understand how you are feeling. I have lost 3 in the past year, and just got a BFP yesterday morning. Whilst I was happy to see the BFP, I feeling no where near the excitement of the past ones, and feel like it's just going to happen again.
All I can say is that each and every pregancy is different to the last, and believe in the quote that goes something like "it's better to have loved and been hurt that to have not loved at all".
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
The workplace isn't always a friendly place for pregnant women. Yet working women inclined to conceal a pregnancy from prying coworkers may be better off opening up and carrying on, according to a new study.
To celebrate Mother's Day this year we are giving you the chance to win one of five great prizes simply by telling us your story.
There is so much pressure about having a baby who sleeps 'all night' , it's no wonder you worry about your baby if she wakes in the night.
What makes some names have comebacks while others silently fade into oblivion? A few factors come into play.
Dads can have many reasons for not wanting their partners to breastfeed their baby, but both parents should learn more about it before making a final decision.
Most new mums would recoil at the thought, but Sarah Stage has shared a post-pregnancy selfie just four days after giving birth.
If you're a new mum and feeling ignored by the older mum/the old hand/the has-been, please know, it's not you, it's me. Blame the last child parenting fatigue.
Having a new baby isn't tiring - it can be downright exhausting.
I was on a high. I'd done it all by myself with no help from anyone.
We're big fans of kids' birthday parties - but this is one bash we're glad we didn't get an invite to.
Everybody loves a bargain - including the Duchess of Cambridge.
A lengthy note put on the window of a fish & chip shop has gone viral due to the writer's serious doubts about the romance of travel.
Pregnant women are under pressure to do all the "right things" to have a healthy child. It results in women feeling judged about their decisions.
Giving your child a sibling when you don't want to have another baby can be a complex issue.
The mother of missing toddler William Tyrrell says she has a vision that somebody "picked him up and moved him on ... that's the only way ... to explain for him not to be there".
Most 23-year-old blokes spend their hard earned cash on fun times with mates or romantic dinners with their girlfriend, but not Tommy Connolly.
The first all-female quintuplets born in the United States were delivered last week, at 28 weeks and two days.
He may be less than a week old, but baby James Hunter has already helped his model mum silence her critics.
A recent Reddit thread has revealed some of the more creative names in the world.
A US woman awakened this week from a four-month-long coma that doctors had feared would be permanent and learned that she had given birth to a baby boy, according to her family.
Posting a lot of baby photos doesn't make you a bad person. It may make your Facebook feed a little irritating, but it doesn't make you a bad person.
It's time to shift the focus off what dads aren’t doing and shine it on what they are.
If you're only just joining the modern cloth nappy movement, or would like to spruce up your collection, we have to introduce you to Designer Bums.
When you’ve just had a baby, having sex isn’t usually top priority. In fact, for a lot of women it rates about as appealing as changing another dirty nappy.
Is it acceptable to use these car parking spots when pregnant? How many of us would admit to doing it?
Fertility doctors have described their "most extraordinary case" - creating a healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man had died.
Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.
You have less than a week left to win your child one of five Fisher-Price toy packs valued at over $600 each - hurry, enter today!
Let’s keep talking about these issues and not allow them to be put into a neat little box that’s labelled ‘Fix childcare and everything is solved’.
When trolls felt the need to comment on 35-year-old singer-songwriter Pink's weight, her answer was an awesome ode to body love.
A national chain of fertility clinics is offering egg donors a $5000 payment to cover their expenses, a first for Australia which is raising concerns the money could act as an inducement.
Australian officials could do nothing to stop an Australian couple from abandoning their baby son, born through surrogacy in India, after they decided they did not want to bring him to Australia.
Individual choice works for haircuts and handbags, but not for preventing infectious diseases that kill kids.
If there is one thing Leilani Rogers knows about childbirth, it is that no two deliveries are ever the same.
Note to self: less sewing, more life. Not the party dress, but the party. The toddler, as usual, has it all figured out.
In 1965, Zella Jackson-Price was told her premature baby girl had died shortly after birth.
New research suggests that taking specific pregnancy probiotics could be the answer to a range of common pregnancy side effects.
Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.
Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.
A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.
Last week to submit a picture of your baby at play for your chance to win. Visit the Play Wall to view our recent entries.