Not sure how to be happy this time
Mine Site Wife
, Oct 25 2012 08:27 PM
8 replies to this topic
Posted 25 October 2012 - 08:27 PM
Hi Ladies, I'm new to this forum and very sorry to hear about your losses, I know that it is the worst feeling in the world.
But my question is not how to deal with the loss I have done that... what I want to know is how do I get excited about this pregnancy (BFP This morning) and not stress too much about loosing this one too. I'm only 4 weeks at this point... and Im terrified it will just be a repeat of my loss in March. We lost our guardian angel baby at 7 weeks in March and since then have dealt with the loss. At this point I'm not overly confident that we will get very far with this pregnancy but I dont want past experience to affect what should be a happy time?
Posted 25 October 2012 - 08:38 PM
I think after a loss you never have that naive excitement about another pregnancy. I went through IVF after our loss due to fertility issues, but I found it reassuring to have two blood tests to confirm my HCG was rising well (14 and 17DPO) and I had two scans at 6.5 and 8.5 weeks. This was easy to arrange as I did it through my fertility specialist, but your GP will be able to refer you for a blood test and at least one scan - might be tricky to justify two though. If you see a heat beat at 7 weeks your chances of miscarriage are very low.
The stats for miscarriage are less than 1 in 4, so your chances of two in a row are less than 1 in 16 (6%) with a 94% chance of a successful pregnancy. Try to think positive! Best of luck.
Posted 25 October 2012 - 08:38 PM
It's not easy of course, I think I swayed between excitement and being terrified,
for us we had to wait not just past the 8 week mark to heartbeat , size et, but also to week 13 for diagnostic testing...I think it was the longest 10 weeks ever..I was very stressed which effected my sleeping, mood swings as well as what come s with the hormones ..l I am surprised work didn't suggest medication!!
Surround yourself with caring support, keep busy, I sorted 5 boxes of family photos , organized Christmas decorations, wrapping paper, you name it.. I was on a mission!!!
I had three wonderful dear friends that were there with me, of course so was DH but he was as worried , to talk to ....
Wishing you all the best...
Posted 21 November 2012 - 11:31 AM
Hi there, sorry to hear about your loss, it's a horrible experience I know.I am sort of in the same situation as you- although I haven't tested yet, I'm about 95% certain I'm pregnant after a loss last year. I'm kind if excited and want to know if I am preg or not, but at the same time- completely scared and terrified and worried we will loose again. I don't have much advice to offer, besides really keeping the communication lines open with your partner, it helps me when I'm scared and he reminds me of why were doing this, to have a family & be happy. Always here if you need a chat, good luck hun xxxx
Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:19 PM
so im in exactly the same boat, got my bfp this morning after a cp last month and i honeslty felt nothing! last time i was laughing and crying and ringing everyone, this time it just means nothing to me, like i dont even really believe it even though i can see it with my own 2 eyes you know? i feel very disconnected and am hoping that soon i will be able to feel that wonderful contented maternal feeling again.....fx we both will soon
Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:24 PM
It doesnt get easier. I have had two losses this year. And currently 5w2d. I cant get excited about it all and not sure what it will take before I do. Sorry not much help but know your not alone. x
Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:36 PM
For me personally, whilst I was thrilled to be pregnant, I also fully expected to miscarriage. For me it was a self preservation thing I think. I figured if I expected to lose it, it wouldn't hurt as much when it happened (I'd had one cp prior, followed by a m/c at 7 weeks).
I guess I was lucky that I had morning sickness (from when I woke up til when I went to bed) from weeks 7-17, so that gave me some comfort. I figured if I was puking, I was still pregnant. Weeks 18 & 19 were hard. No puking, I felt amazing, but still hadn't felt any baby movements. I was sure it had died & was in tears to my DH the night before my 20 week scan. But, on scan day my little jelly bean was in there doing back flips, I just couldn't feel them!
I finally felt the baby kick at 23 weeks and from that point on I was able to relax as I could always feel the bubba in there & know it was ok.
My superstition didn't let me buy anything for the baby until after 24 weeks ("viability"), but once I started shopping it was lovely.
As scared as I was, I found telling other people & having them get excited helped me get excited. My Aunty sent me a tiny onesie, that got me all clucky.
Just go with what your heart / body / mind tells you OP. The excitement will come, even if it takes a while. It's only natural to be scared.
Good luck with your pregnancy!!
Edited by HurryUpAlready, 09 December 2012 - 10:43 PM.
Posted 28 December 2012 - 08:24 AM
Not sure OP, I am in the same boat! Lost in oct this year x2 @ 11weeks. Had a funny feeling last week but to scared to test, so I finially did this morning and got BFP I would be 5.5weeks- havent told anyone...not even hubby.
Will try to call my ob next week and try and get in for a scan. Maybe I will feel excited once i hear a heartbeat!
Goodluck & fingers crossed for all of us
Posted 11 February 2013 - 08:33 AM
I'm new as well, but I totally understand how you are feeling. I have lost 3 in the past year, and just got a BFP yesterday morning. Whilst I was happy to see the BFP, I feeling no where near the excitement of the past ones, and feel like it's just going to happen again.
All I can say is that each and every pregancy is different to the last, and believe in the quote that goes something like "it's better to have loved and been hurt that to have not loved at all".
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