Jump to content

Mixed Emotions
Not sure how to be happy this time


  • Please log in to reply
8 replies to this topic

#1 Mine Site Wife

Posted 25 October 2012 - 08:27 PM

Hi Ladies, I'm new to this forum and very sorry to hear about your losses, I know that it is the worst feeling in the world.

But my question is not how to deal with the loss I have done that... what I want to know is how do I get excited about this pregnancy (BFP This morning) and not stress too much about loosing this one too. I'm only 4 weeks at this point... and Im terrified it will just be a repeat of my loss in March. We lost our guardian angel baby at 7 weeks in March and since then have dealt with the loss. At this point I'm not overly confident that we will get very far with this pregnancy but I dont want past experience to affect what should be a happy time?

#2 libbylu

Posted 25 October 2012 - 08:38 PM

I think after a loss you never have that naive excitement about another pregnancy.  I went through IVF after our loss due to fertility issues, but I found it reassuring to have two blood tests to confirm my HCG was rising well (14 and 17DPO) and I had two scans at 6.5 and 8.5 weeks.  This was easy to arrange as I did it through my fertility specialist, but your GP will be able to refer you for a blood test and at least one scan - might be tricky to justify two though.  If you see a heat beat at 7 weeks your chances of miscarriage are very low.
The stats for miscarriage are less than 1 in 4, so your chances of two in a row are less than 1 in 16 (6%) with a 94% chance of a successful pregnancy.  Try to think positive!  Best of luck.

#3 adl

Posted 25 October 2012 - 08:38 PM

It's not easy of course, I think I  swayed between excitement and being terrified,

for us we had to wait not just past the 8 week mark to heartbeat , size et, but also to week 13 for diagnostic testing...I think it was the longest 10 weeks ever..I was very stressed which effected my sleeping, mood swings as well as what come s with the hormones ..l I am surprised work didn't suggest medication!!

Surround  yourself with caring support, keep busy, I sorted 5 boxes of family photos , organized Christmas decorations, wrapping paper, you name it.. I was on a mission!!!

I had three wonderful dear friends that were there with me, of course so was DH but he was as worried , to talk to ....

Wishing you all the best...

#4 Mrsjessiccas

Posted 21 November 2012 - 11:31 AM

Hi there, sorry to hear about your loss, it's a horrible experience I know.I am sort of in the same situation as you- although I haven't tested yet, I'm about 95% certain I'm pregnant after a loss last year. I'm kind if excited and want to know if I am preg or not, but at the same time- completely scared and terrified and worried we will loose again. I don't have much advice to offer, besides really keeping the communication lines open with your partner, it helps me when I'm scared and he reminds me of why were doing this, to have a family & be happy. Always here if you need a chat, good luck hun xxxx

#5 bambiigrrl

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:19 PM

hi sweetie

so im in exactly the same boat, got my bfp this morning after a cp last month and i honeslty felt nothing! last time i was laughing and crying and ringing everyone, this time it just means nothing to me, like i dont even really believe it even though i can see it with my own 2 eyes you know? i feel very disconnected and am hoping that soon i will be able to feel that wonderful contented maternal feeling again.....fx we both will soon hhugs.gif

#6 Mumma_G

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:24 PM

It doesnt get easier. I have had two losses this year. And currently 5w2d. I cant get excited about it all and not sure what it will take before I do. Sorry not much help but know your not alone. x

#7 HurryUpAlready

Posted 09 December 2012 - 10:36 PM

For me personally, whilst I was thrilled to be pregnant, I also fully expected to miscarriage. For me it was a self preservation thing I think. I figured if I expected to lose it, it wouldn't hurt as much when it happened (I'd had one cp prior, followed by a m/c at 7 weeks).

I guess I was lucky that I had morning sickness (from when I woke up til when I went to bed) from weeks 7-17, so that gave me some comfort. I figured if I was puking, I was still pregnant. Weeks 18 & 19 were hard. No puking, I felt amazing, but still hadn't felt any baby movements. I was sure it had died & was in tears to my DH the night before my 20 week scan. But, on scan day my little jelly bean was in there doing back flips, I just couldn't feel them!

I finally felt the baby kick at 23 weeks and from that point on I was able to relax as I could always feel the bubba in there & know it was ok.

My superstition didn't let me buy anything for the baby until after 24 weeks ("viability"), but once I started shopping it was lovely.

As scared as I was, I found telling other people & having them get excited helped me get excited. My Aunty sent me a tiny onesie, that got me all clucky.

Just go with what your heart / body / mind tells you OP. The excitement will come, even if it takes a while. It's only natural to be scared.  

Good luck with your pregnancy!!

Edited by HurryUpAlready, 09 December 2012 - 10:43 PM.


#8 kell-pea

Posted 28 December 2012 - 08:24 AM

Not sure OP, I am in the same boat! Lost in oct this year x2 @ 11weeks. Had a funny feeling last week but to scared to test, so I finially did this morning and got BFP I would be 5.5weeks- havent told anyone...not even hubby.

Will try to call my ob next week and try and get in for a scan. Maybe I will feel excited once i hear a heartbeat!

Goodluck & fingers crossed for all of us

#9 EllaBellaBaby

Posted 11 February 2013 - 08:33 AM

Hi Girls,

I'm new as well, but I totally understand how you are feeling. I have lost 3 in the past year, and just got a BFP yesterday morning. Whilst I was happy to see the BFP, I feeling no where near the excitement of the past ones, and feel like it's just going to happen again.

All I can say is that each and every pregancy is different to the last, and believe in the quote that goes something like "it's better to have loved and been hurt that to have not loved at all".

xo


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Life with anxiety

At times, I feel pretty worthless. In those moments, all I want to do is curl up into a ball and hide in the dark. I can try to quiet my mind, but it won?t shut up.

IVF leaves woman pregnant with another couple's twins

An Italian woman has been told the twins she is three months pregnant with are not hers.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

What you need for the 'fourth trimester'

In my opinion, the first three months after the birth are the most intense. Here's what got me through that time after welcoming my baby.

Weaning a toddler off a dummy: a 15-day plan

Weaning your child off the dummy can be a traumatic experience for both of you. Here are some tips to help you through.

Choosing to be a solo parent

Two women share their stories of longing for a baby so much that they each decided not to wait for a partner before becoming a mum.

Asphyxia link another piece of the SIDS puzzle

An Australian study has uncovered information which could lead to a better understanding of why babies die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Rescue dog Zoey and BFF Jasper star in adorable pics

Photographer, self-professed "crazy dog lady" and mum Grace Chon takes photos of rescue dog Zoey and her 10-month-old son Jasper together. The results are just too cute. See more on Instagram @thegracechon.

The ultimate travel stroller: the Mountain Buggy nano

We tried the Mountain Buggy nano and give it an enthusiastic thumbs up. As the ultimate travel stroller, it's practical, has great features, and looks fab, too.

Mum's heartbreak as son dies in road accident

Daly Thomas and her two young sons were walking home from church on Tuesday afternoon. Her youngest son never made it.

New Kate Spade baby bag designs

Don?t adjust your screen: this bright beauty is coming to you in full colour.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win the brand new phil&teds vibe

Check out the good looking new release of the Vibe 3 and the Verve 4-wheeler inline strollers. To celebrate their release, we have a Vibe with double kit to give away.

Baby sleep

From birth to one year and beyond, read about baby sleep, soothing techniques, routines, and sleep school experiences.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

7 tips for a kid-free trip, not a guilt trip

Although I?m jumping out of my skin to take my child-free holiday, I?m dreading the goodbye. But I?m determined to make the most of it without tarnishing it with guilt or sadness about leaving the kids.

Itchibubs: clothes for babies and toddlers with eczema

Parents of children who suffer from eczema will know only too well the scratching that occurs around the clock. A new clothing range aims to help make everyone more comfortable.

Ear piercing: what age is best?

What is it that shapes our opinions on what?s an 'appropriate' age for our children to get their ears pierced? Parents share their views on how young is too young when it comes to piercing.

Caring for kids helps grandmothers stay mentally alert

Looking after grandchildren can help grandmothers ward off brain disease - but it's also possible to get too much of a good thing, researchers say.

Why I loved my third home water birth

After two water births at home, I was determined to give birth to my son the same way. I just hoped this birth would be quicker than my last two.

Revealed: 7 ways food marketers try to trick consumers

If you?re confused by food labels, you?re not alone. Next time you?re shopping for food, look out for these seven common labelling tricks.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

 

Free Printable Activities

Keeping little hands busy

Free printable acitivity pages like colouring in, cutting, word finders, mazes, maths activities and puzzles.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.