Jump to content

Need to be told I am being a pillock! - what the hell, another update post 791ish
SIL - weddings - hen parties


  • Please log in to reply
786 replies to this topic

#1 Liv_DrSperm_sh

Posted 24 October 2012 - 01:58 PM

My BIL and SIL are getting married in November

Now my SIL is generally lovely, but she very materialistic and I really have nothing in common with her, she is the kind of person who buys a belt for $300 and goes on about what a bargain it is....where as I am the kind of person who doesn't even know what a belt is let alone how to use one!

The wedding is bringing out the PITA in her personality...an example

I'm not part of the wedding party (which I am more than happy about) - BUT, she told me that I have to show her what I will be wearing so she can "approve it"...The first dress I got was not acceptable and I had to go buy a new one.

She told me that everyone has to wear a fascinator or they won't be allowed in the restaurant - I think she was exaggerating here, but she went on at me for a hour when I said that I don't really like wearing fascinators, apparently they are a non-optional dress code.

My actual issue is with the hen party which I didn't really want to go to anyway, her friends are all very much like her and I really didn't fancy an evening discussing the nuances of gucci handbags vs prada...or something equally vacuous!

My other SIL (who I love) and I VERY grudgingly agreed to go along because it would be very rude if her new family didn't show up.

Anyway, I get an email today saying that...

All people attending the hen party (direct quote)

"must wear a sexy black dress, you have plenty of time to go out and buy one if you don't have one"

so...hackles up...

THEN it's $130 for dinner, topless waiter and 'other surprises'...that's before I've even had a drink, and trust me, I'd NEED to drink a LOT.


So EB, if you've made it that far with my white whine whinge about wedding bollocks, I need you to:

a) tell me to suck it up and stop behaving like a brat

OR

b) give me a good excuse for not going

I don't mind which side of that fence you sit on!

Edited by Livsh, 02 January 2013 - 09:48 AM.


#2 casime

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:04 PM

QUOTE
I'm not part of the wedding party (which I am more than happy about) - BUT, she told me that I have to show her what I will be wearing so she can "approve it"...The first dress I got was not acceptable and I had to go buy a new one.


Tell her to send you a link to the dress she would like you to wear.  Tell her you bought it.  On the day, your child will accidently spill something down the front of it just as you are running out the door and you had to wear something else.  

QUOTE
She told me that everyone has to wear a fascinator or they won't be allowed in the restaurant - I think she was exaggerating here, but she went on at me for a hour when I said that I don't really like wearing fascinators, apparently they are a non-optional dress code.


Suck this one up.  But if a magpie attacks on the way to the reception and steals it for a birds nest, then what can you do?  These things happen.  

QUOTE
My actual issue is with the hen party which I didn't really want to go to anyway, her friends are all very much like her and I really didn't fancy an evening discussing the nuances of gucci handbags vs prada...or something equally vacuous!


Gastro.  Very very bad gastro.  



#3 Leggy

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:05 PM

Possibly, "Since you made me buy a second dress and a fascinator I'll never wear again, I can't afford all those things for the hen's night, so I'll just come to the wedding."

Or possibly just call on the afternoon of the hen's night with "a terrible case of food poisoning, I think it was that sushi SIL and I had...she's puking too."

You're definitely not the pillock here.

Ah, Madame Catty, you beat me to it!

Edited by Leggy, 24 October 2012 - 02:05 PM.


#4 saraal

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:06 PM

how big will the fallout be if you don't go? how big a deal is the money for you?

unfortunately any excuse you make that doesn't involve your hospitalisation will not be deemed acceptable as clearly she feels Her Speshul Day should have global focus. So, have you been thinking about any cosmetic surgery? If so, now is the time to schedule it.

Otherwise say 'oh no, sorry, I can't make that date' and prepare for the bitterness that will ensue.

#5 niggles

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:06 PM

If I could afford it I'd just go along with it. If I couldn't I'd be very tempted to just tell her the truth. It's a bit rough to assume your friends can all afford the same lifestyle as you can and she may as well hear that sooner rather than later.

I'd email her that the night out is getting expensive and has she considered that some people may not be able to fit another purchase in their budgets and perhaps she might like to consider loosening up the dress code.

#6 Sentient Puddle

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:06 PM

There is a reason why I hate weddings and this just about sums it up for me. I would not have shown her my dress, have declined the invite to the hens night and told her how naff looking facsinators are! Well maybe not the last one, but really who wears fascinators unless you are the mother of the bride or off to the Melbourne Cup?

#7 Guest_AllegraM_*

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:07 PM

There is a pillock in your post and it's not you.

#8 saraal

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:08 PM

The problem with the gastro exc use is that you will probably still be up for the cost of the meal and for chipping in for her share too as the booking will have been confirmed.

Perhaps you could tell her your psychic has predicted explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting for that date and you don't want to risk it?

#9 YandiGirl

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:10 PM

Another vote for 'this is why I dislike weddings'......but, she's family, suck it up unless you can't afford to do so.

#10 saraal

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:17 PM

my vote is to go in any old black outfit, get drunk with other SIL before you get there, and take notes to report back here!

#11 CallMeFeral

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:19 PM

QUOTE (casime @ 24/10/2012, 03:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Tell her to send you a link to the dress she would like you to wear.  Tell her you bought it.  On the day, your child will accidently spill something down the front of it just as you are running out the door and you had to wear something else.  

Suck this one up.  But if a magpie attacks on the way to the reception and steals it for a birds nest, then what can you do?  These things happen.  

Gastro.  Very very bad gastro.


Wow, you're good...


#12 Beancat

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:23 PM

Go to the hens night and suck it up, you kind of have to go.  If you dont have a LBD, borrow one or get one from the op shop.

Regarding her telling you what to wear to the wedding, politely tell her where to stick it.  Tell her you will wear as you please and you might wear a fascinator if you feel like it.  BTW why do you have to wear a fascintor, its a wedding, not the damn melbourne cup!!!

#13 Flaxen

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:23 PM

What i'd do??

Its your hubby's family right? If you've got some spare cash, I'd use it as a valid excuse to go shopping. Have fun with your other SIL and drink lots.

If you are not particulary rich at the moment, choose your battles, be sensible about what you're wearing (borrow LBD and facinator if need be) and pretty much suck it up to an extent. She is going to be family and you dont want to start on the wrong foot. And, as above, have fun with other SIL and drink lots.



Edited to Add:
If she wasnt family, I'd be telling her im washing my hair that day, the hens and the wedding.

Edited by Flaxen, 24 October 2012 - 02:38 PM.


#14 *Lib*

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:25 PM

You could just tell her you're not coming.

#15 Guest_- Poppy -_*

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:30 PM

I wouldnt go.

The older im getting the better im getting at saying no. Maybe its because im caring less and less what people I dont really like think about me. If I love you ill bend over backwards and go out of my way but if im kinda like "meh, I dont really like you" then I no longer feel immense guilt for saying no.

I really hate strippers, like they make me feel really uncomfortable and I hate how everything is in the shape of a penis at some of these hens nights and then they put the photos up of you drinking out of a penis straw on facebook - no thanks!

$130 for a hens night is ridiculous! The LBD is fine, but why does it have to be sexy?

A sexy LBD to me is 1950's glam where sexy to someone else might me a crotch skimming spandex number.

Dont even get me started about the fascinator and checking your dress buisness - I think this woman clearly has waaay to much time on her hands.

Edited by - Poppy -, 24 October 2012 - 02:31 PM.


#16 Eleni_J

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:32 PM

QUOTE (saraal @ 24/10/2012, 12:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
my vote is to go in any old black outfit, get drunk with other SIL before you get there, and take notes to report back here!


This is what I would do. Pull out a black dress (sexy or not) from the wardrobe if you have one, or else borrow from a friend if you can. Considering she's family I'm guessing non-attendance would not go down well.

Good luck!

#17 Magnus

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:33 PM

I would probably suck it up and go too (unless I couldn't afford to and then I'd tell her I couldn't afford to).

I think you should borrow a dress to wear, but I don't know about the fascinator. I don't even know anyone who owns a fascinator (and I'm glad).

I don't think she has any right to tell you what to wear to the wedding, though. If you're not into fashion maybe check with a friend that it's wedding acceptable and fits with the stated dress code, but apart from that it should be your choice.

#18 Bunsen the feral

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:38 PM

What Casime said re wedding outfit - genius!

Hen's, a black dress shouldn't be too hard to find - borrow or charity shop - better than matching themed t-shirts! Hip flasks come in handy for this kind of night I find.

Anything else suck it up in the hope that one day you get to sit back and laugh at what a pain your now wonderful SIL was before her wedding.

#19 opethmum

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:39 PM

She is one mean Bridezilla! Personally I would not be associated with anyone like that but it looks like you are going to be stuck with her and you would not hear the end of her complaint, so unfortunately for you I would just suck it up and do things as cheaply as possible.



#20 42n8

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:40 PM

Wear a burqa.  I'm sure some people would consider them sexy (they are black dresses after all) and make sure to team it with a fascinator.

Or

Ask her to show you what she's planning to wear to the hen's night and then tell her she'll look fat in it.  That should loosen the dress code.

Wont solve your dilemma but sometimes it's just fun to poke the bear.


#21 PrincessPeach

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:42 PM

$130 is a lot of money for a hen's night!

I'm not good on excuses, but I think approving your outfit to wear to her wedding is way over the top! - so you are not the pillock.


#22 Starletta

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:43 PM

Sounds like my worst nightmare.

Sorry you have to deal with such a d*ck. I can't believe she has the audacity to "approve" your wedding outfit. If she didn't choose you as a bridesmaid, then she has no say.

Personally, I would attend dinner for the hens party and thats it. Leave her with her friends, she wont mind by that point.

Edited by Starletta, 24 October 2012 - 02:44 PM.


#23 BadCat

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:47 PM

I'd skip the hen's night altogether.  "Turn up" at the wrong venue and then write her a snarky message the next day asking where the hell she was.

Wear whatever you like to the wedding.  If she pulls you up on it tell her you vomited on the one you were going to wear, make retching sounds, and run to the toilet.  

For the fascinator, stick a pencil behind you ear and tell her it't the thinking woman's fascinator.

Failing all that, you could always take her out with some elephant tranquiliser and ship her to a Bridezilla reality show.  This would be my preferred option but it's your choice.  shrug.gif

Edited by BadCat, 24 October 2012 - 02:50 PM.


#24 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:47 PM

Personally don't see the point of a hen's night but go, wear whatever you like and then you and the good SIL can watch the evil SIL and her friends make prats of themselves. As for the wedding - wear what you wish to and ditch the fascinator. It's highly unlikely they will have style police at the door refusing admittance to anyone without a fascinator.

#25 Hayleymumof3

Posted 24 October 2012 - 02:48 PM

QUOTE
Failing all that, you could always take her out with some elephant tranquiliser and ship her to a Bridezilla reality show. This would be my preferred option but it's your choice.



roll2.gif roll2.gif roll2.gif roll2.gif roll2.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Dealing with a toddler's morning tantrums

Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?

Child in suitcase 'could have died eight years ago'

A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.

MP breastfeeds baby during parliamentary session

An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.

My baby's first seizure

It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.

Portable pools 'more dangerous than permanent ones'

Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.

Heartbreaking moment mum kisses her one-week-old goodbye

At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.

The amazing Tee Pee bed and kid-friendly Frankie Bunk bed

These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.

The funny things kids say when you're pregnant

Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.

The real problem with having one child

In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.

Six-week-old baby found dead, believed stabbed

A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.

The fire hazard in more than 70,000 Australian homes

So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.

How having a baby can bring on OCD

We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.

IVF gender selection being considered for Australian parents

Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.

The best age to get married (according to the latest study)

Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.

Yes, you can get pregnant before your period returns post-baby

After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.

Fellow diner rewards mum after toddler's tantrum

Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown. 

IKEA begins massive safety campaign after two toddler deaths

Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.

Beaneasy: sweet nursery furniture with a twist

If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.

A dad's guide to hyperemesis

I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.

Woman adopts best friend's four daughters after cancer tragedy

Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.

Baby Leo's mum excluded from $500K trust 'for her own protection'

Samuel Forrest didn't want his wife as a trustee of their baby Leo's half million dollar trust for her own "protection", it has emerged.

Confirmed: men gain weight when they become dads

Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study

Carer investigated over washing machine photo posted 'for a laugh'

She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.

Mum's premature labour nightmare after high tea salmonella outbreak

An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.

The day my son started a fire

Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?

Prince George celebrates second birthday

Prince George's second birthday has been marked by the release of an official picture showing the toddler smiling as he is held by his proud beaming father.

Which beauty treatments are safe in pregnancy?

Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?

The five ways I know my 'baby' is no longer a baby

The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.

Review: Cybex Platinum PRIAM pram

I'm not usually one who believes in love at first sight but that's exactly what happened when I first saw the Cybex PRIAM.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Why I'm choosing to be a single mother right from the start

I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.

Mother and baby units are a necessity for mental health, not a luxury

I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.

30 French baby names

French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.

New mum's Spanish maternity nightmare

A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.

Preparing Rover to be a good dog with baby

Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?

Company offers to ship working mums' breast milk home

First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.

Prince William speaks of his pride at wife Kate and 'little joy of heaven' Charlotte

The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.

'Glowing' eye saves baby Mason's life

A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life. 

Parenting and decision overload

Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.

Proof that toddlers can't be left unsupervised - ever

Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!

Meet Jeremy Ryan, The Voice contestant with seven kids

If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.

Baby's adorable reaction to wearing glasses for the first time

Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.

Police officer buys supplies for family after mum of six caught shoplifting

When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.

Why pregnant women on antidepressants shouldn’t panic about birth defect claims

The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.

Arrests made over children's birthday party brawl

Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.

Family shares awesome drone baby announcement

Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.

Young warrior Owen defies doctors' predictions

Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old

Advice for dads: when to approach your wife for sex

The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.

I might be fat, but I don't need saving

I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.

The rookie mistakes we make as parents

Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.

 

FREE TICKET

See Pinky McKay live in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.