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Who sits where in the car?
I need serious help!


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24 replies to this topic

#1 MrsDoyle

Posted 20 September 2012 - 04:49 PM

We have arguments every single day about who sits where in the car.  DS4 and DD2 both have their carseats, and the other 4 all have boosters.

DS1 usually wants to sit in 'his' seat (it's a different model to the other boosters).  DS2, DD1 and DS3 all want to sit in the seat next to DD2.  If they can't get that seat, they either want DS1's seat, or the seat in the second row.  No one wants to sit in the seat in the back.

Obviously, it drives me crazy having the kids bicker and moan several times a day when they get into the car.  But also, we're going on a driving holiday on Sunday, so it's about to get worse!

i really want to organize some kind of roster or something, to avoid the arguments, but i don't know where to start!  I'm such a disorganized person!  I don't know whether to give the kids a 'day' each that they get to sit in a particular spot, or to change every 'ride' iykwim.  And do i leave DS1 in 'his' seat, or make him move with the rest?  Does anyone have any tips for me??

#2 Luvmy4ferals

Posted 20 September 2012 - 04:51 PM

We have set places in each car. They always sit in their seat even if noone else is in the car. I allocated the seats so there were no arguments.

#3 swimmingalong

Posted 20 September 2012 - 05:08 PM

I told mine to pick a spot and that's it.  that's where they are.. and I cant get the blame for it.

I also gave them a time limit, otherwise they'll be choosing for hours..

#4 CountryFeral

Posted 20 September 2012 - 05:14 PM

Surely you'd put the most annoying one in the back row? (this would vary from day to day though I guess...)

And crank up the stereo!

#5 mumto3princesses

Posted 20 September 2012 - 05:23 PM

It would be a pain giving them turns each trip or each day and I definately wouldn't be moving the seats as well. I would try to just tell them this is where you will sit and thats it but if that doesn't work then I would maybe swap them monthly.

With our old car we used to have 2 of the girls in the middle row (3rd seat middle row was lap belt only so we didn't use it) and 1 in the back row. No one liked the back row. DD2 was in an anchored booster so I chose her spot and that was it. Then on normal short trips DD1 would sit in the other middle row seat while DD3 was in the back row. On longer trips DD3 was in the middle. The only reason we did it that way was because DD3 gets car sick so longer trips DD3 couldn't sit in the back. But when DD3 was in a car seat DD1 had no choice and she sat in the back. I wasn't going to be moving the car seats around.

In our new car I just told them where each of them have to sit and that's it.

#6 MrsDoyle

Posted 20 September 2012 - 05:31 PM

QUOTE (countrymel @ 20/09/2012, 06:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Surely you'd put the most annoying one in the back row? (this would vary from day to day though I guess...)

And crank up the stereo!


I do this at the moment....well, if someone has been super good they sit next to DD2, if someone has been super naughty they sit in the back......but it's not usually as cut and dry as that!

Mumto3princesses - I have no intention of moving the seats....just the children sitting in them!

When we first got the car, the kids chose where they wanted to sit, and it worked just fine, but now they have changed their minds biggrin.gif  If i asked them to pick a permanent seat, they would all want the one next to DD2, so that wouldn't work either.  If they would all pick different seats, i wouldn't have this problem!

#7 ~JASB~

Posted 20 September 2012 - 05:31 PM

I only have 3 kids, and only 2 in boosters.  They are always in the same seats each time.  DS#1 sits in the middle, and the younger two in the boosters each have the adjustable head rest set at a different position to suit their different heights - so it's not an issue.

#8 opethmum

Posted 20 September 2012 - 05:32 PM

I would allocate seats and that would be that no one moves period.

#9 Walkers

Posted 20 September 2012 - 05:37 PM

Be brutal & set spots. I found its the only way to stop the fights, I've even designated spots at the dinner table because i was so sick of the drama. Kids find the most ridiculous things to fight over!

#10 lotsofbots

Posted 20 September 2012 - 05:40 PM

each of our children have their own seats and sit in them.  All our boosters are the same except for the heat height, the non booster children sit between the boosters.



#11 mumto3princesses

Posted 20 September 2012 - 05:41 PM

I would prefer to be brutal and assign the seats. But if it causes too much drama maybe a reward thing? Best behaved child each month gets to sit next to DD2 for the month?

Oh, we have assigned seating at the dinner table too! Constant fights otherwise over who gets to sit next to who. I just got sick of the fights and said thats it. This is where you all sit or you don't eat dinner.

#12 amabanana

Posted 20 September 2012 - 05:48 PM

I would do a lottery - get them to pick a piece of paper out of a hat so that it's 'fair' and not something you have chosen and played 'favorites' with IYKWIM.  They then sit in their allocated seat even if they are the only kid riding. Then rotate them around on a monthly basis if they still want to move around.  They might get so attached to their seats that they will be happy to stay - you never know your luck.  happy.gif

(I don't have a large family but was a member of one.  original.gif

#13 pacificbaby

Posted 20 September 2012 - 06:19 PM

we have allocated seats at the table too
now i have 1 in no car seat & 2 in boosters & only 1 in a baby seat the allocated seating may have to change a bit, but at the moment they do have allocated seating


#14 Ianthe

Posted 20 September 2012 - 06:25 PM

We don't have any arguments at all. They all have their own spots in the car. 3yo and 7yo sit in the middle in carseats/boosters. 10yo and 12yo sit in the back seat one on each side and never swap. 15yo sits in the front.

#15 Feral_Bubble

Posted 20 September 2012 - 06:36 PM

QUOTE (amabanana @ 20/09/2012, 05:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would do a lottery - get them to pick a piece of paper out of a hat so that it's 'fair' and not something you have chosen and played 'favorites' with IYKWIM.  They then sit in their allocated seat even if they are the only kid riding. Then rotate them around on a monthly basis if they still want to move around.  They might get so attached to their seats that they will be happy to stay - you never know your luck.  happy.gif

(I don't have a large family but was a member of one.  original.gif


I agree with this, but I would put the seat number/name/ identifying feature in one hat and names in another, and have all of them at the table with you when you pull them out.

Not part of a large family, but had arguments over who got to sit on the side all the time lol

#16 CafeCat

Posted 20 September 2012 - 11:02 PM

When my lot were in car seats they had an allocated spot - no changing. It worked a treat.

Now no-one is in a car seat we have bickering every time. It drives me crazy.

#17 fillesetjumeaux

Posted 21 September 2012 - 08:05 AM

We're easy at the moment because everyone has a particular restraint which is just theirs (booster for DD2, and different 5-pt harnesses for DD3 and the boys, and DD1 with just the seatbelt in the only free position).

I remember as a kid fighting with my sister(s) over who got to sit where.  I think we ended up with designated seats which were non-negotiable.  I think that's how I'll do it in the future, but who knows?!

#18 MickeyBoo

Posted 21 September 2012 - 01:12 PM

DS (almost 3) and DS (4y5mth) sit in individual boosters in the back row of the van. They have a spare seat between them. DD (4mths) is in her car seat in the middle row behind the driver, DS(10) and DD(8) take it in turns to sit beside her in the middle row. All car trips before lunch time DS(10) sits beside bub, all trips after lunch DD(8) sits beside her. Any fighting with the older two over who gets in or out of the car first or who is sitting where means that the instigator doesn't get to sit next to bub at all that day. I don't know what will happen when the 'shiny new toy' effect wears off of the baby laughing2.gif

Actually we have the same issues at the dinner table, with people wanting to swap seats and arguing etc, we have had to have designated seats and no moving at all unless both agree its a permanent swap!

Edited by MickeyBoo, 21 September 2012 - 01:15 PM.


#19 Charmzy

Posted 28 September 2012 - 03:34 PM

Oh mine are exactly the same, I used to have allocated seating for them and it was just a fact of life you sit where you sit and no one ever complained as we had a 12 seater bus so they all viewed the seats as 'equal' but then we down sized to a tarago and now they argue over the 'middle' row (which has 2 carseats in it so only 1 of the big kids can sit here anyway).

Daily Rotation is just frustrating so I've been thinking about doing a weekly rotation of seating position, it sounds so stupid that its needed but the constant fighting over who sits where drives me insane!

#20 MrsDoyle

Posted 28 September 2012 - 05:55 PM

Thanks for the suggestions guys!  We've ended up having the kids move 'down' a seat every time we get out for a period of time.  So the person sitting next to DD2 in the front, moves to the next row, then the back row, then over to DS1's seat, then back to the front.  It seems to be working well so far!

When we get home from holidays, i might make it a daily swap.

I totally hear you all on the dinner table too....in our house it's first in, best dressed, except for DH and i who have our own seats (it's a small table in a small space, and we need to be able to get in and out!).  When we finish our renos and get a bigger table and bigger space, i might try a similar rotation, i'm not sure!

#21 jo527

Posted 28 September 2012 - 09:35 PM

QUOTE (MrsDoyle @ 20/09/2012, 04:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We have arguments every single day about who sits where in the car.  DS4 and DD2 both have their carseats, and the other 4 all have boosters.

DS1 usually wants to sit in 'his' seat (it's a different model to the other boosters).  DS2, DD1 and DS3 all want to sit in the seat next to DD2.  If they can't get that seat, they either want DS1's seat, or the seat in the second row.  No one wants to sit in the seat in the back.

Obviously, it drives me crazy having the kids bicker and moan several times a day when they get into the car.  But also, we're going on a driving holiday on Sunday, so it's about to get worse!

i really want to organize some kind of roster or something, to avoid the arguments, but i don't know where to start!  I'm such a disorganized person!  I don't know whether to give the kids a 'day' each that they get to sit in a particular spot, or to change every 'ride' iykwim.  And do i leave DS1 in 'his' seat, or make him move with the rest?  Does anyone have any tips for me??


We had this problem when we were travelling and it was a new car.  My mum made up labels and attached them to elastic bands that could be attached to the seat or to the headrest of the seat in front.  Each morning they were swapped and no more arguements as they could visually see who sat where.  We didnt use names, we had lightening mcqueen for DS1 and Peppa Pig for DD1.


#22 The 7 Dwarfs

Posted 29 September 2012 - 10:43 PM

We have set seats in the car, but there are still arguments.

That is why I'm glad we have one of those security shields between us and the back of the car, turn the music on and I can't hear a thing. original.gif

#23 blessedwithblueandpink

Posted 16 October 2012 - 10:12 PM

Hi
I would def allocate the seats myself and just stick to it. They will moan about it being unfair etc but they will get over it. Mine all have allocated seats in the car and the dinner table. Took this from my own upbringing, growing up with 10 in the house. My mother even had the plates set in order while dishing out the dinner. I can still remember when I go home to Ireland.
All the best with it

x

#24 rhiand14

Posted 30 November 2012 - 12:49 PM

I allocate the 4 seats in our car.  Three boosters but with headrests set slightly differently and one infant seat.  Their seat belongs to them and no one else.  It certainly makes for less arguments.  About every 6 months or so I might speak to the older kids and perhaps move their seat in the car if they agree, but generally I allocate seats and that is just the way it is.  Once less thing to stress about!

Btw I like the idea of allocated dinner seating and serving order at dinner too.

#25 kabailz13

Posted 21 December 2012 - 12:44 PM

This is the one thing I hate the most about driving anywhere!!!

Carmen - what car do you drive?




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