Jump to content

Anyone regretted holding their child back?
NSW, March boy, send him to kindergarten in 2013 or 2014?


  • Please log in to reply
25 replies to this topic

#1 qwertyuiop

Posted 20 September 2012 - 11:23 AM

I have a four year old son who will turn 5 in March 2013. We're in NSW and I have the choice of sending him to primary school (kindergarten) in 2013 or 2014.

My son is at a currently enrolled (3 days a week) in a great preschool. The teachers have told me that they think he might be best of to spend another year at preschool. The main reason they give is that they think the extra year will give him extra emotional maturity. They say he cries very easily if things don't work out as expected and the extra year will give him the chance to become more resilient in a safe environment.

Academically he is fine. He enjoys learning. He is happy, social kids who loves playing with other kids. He says he's happy to go to the preschool for another year.

I've got two younger kids at home and I worry that he'll be bored next year (even though he'd go to preschool 3 days a week) and I won't be able to provide him all the stimulation that he needs as he has to share my attention and energy with his siblings. I'm worried he might play up as a result.

I've heard from many parents that they regretted sending their child early. I've also heard many parents say they have been happy with sending their child early. So far I haven't heard anyone say they've regretted sending their child late. Has anyone here regretted holding their child back? Are there any risks if I hold him back? Any advice appreciated.

#2 *Kell*

Posted 20 September 2012 - 12:05 PM

Hi OP,

My sister has 2 boys. She sent the first one to school early, and he couldn't handle the social interactions, so ended up repeating year 1.
The second she started at 5, and he has had no problems.

I have heard this MANY a time with boys, but the opposite with girls, saying they should start at 4, if possible.

I think (especially because the childcare has recommended it) you should keep him back for another year.

Or alternatively, you could speak to the principal of the primary school, and ask their opinion.

Good luck.

#3 Libertine

Posted 20 September 2012 - 12:11 PM

There's a big thread on holding boys back currently going in What Do You Think?

Might be of interest to you op.

HTH.

#4 Manicmum

Posted 20 September 2012 - 12:11 PM

I would listen to his preschool teacher.

#5 PrincessPinkenIt

Posted 20 September 2012 - 12:17 PM

My DS is a March baby, and we decided to hold him back as he was very emotional and would get very upset about a lot of things.
I do not regret it at all holding him back a year.

#6 boatiebabe

Posted 20 September 2012 - 12:18 PM

I have a March DD and she went when she was 4 and 10 months. Academically she is fine, but she did struggle a little in the beginning with the more street smart 5 year old girls who could run rings around her with their emotional/social games.

She is in Year 3 now and is doing great. Academically doing well and socially she has figured out who the 'nice' girls are and hangs with them.

DS is an early July baby and I held him back (although most other states besides NSW this would not be holding back) - so that he started school when he was 5.5 years of age. The last six months at home with him before he went to school was challenging and I only had one at home. He is tearing up kindergarten and was really ready to start learning.

I know another family (neighbour) who held their boys back - one born in January (started school at 6) and one born in March (started school at 5 and 10 months). At first she was always bragging about how well they were doing compared to everyone else in their class (well der? they were significantly older) and now she is complaining non stop about how gifted her kids are and the school won't "extend" them. Basically they are average kids but are in classes with children up to 18 months younger than them, so they are bored and possibly disruptive because of it.

In saying all that I think you should take very seriously what your day care providers are telling you. But ultimately you need to make the decision about whether he is ready.

#7 Fluster

Posted 20 September 2012 - 12:27 PM

I was in your son's position - had the chance to start one year or the next.  I remember very clearly discussing it with my mother and we agreed I'd start the 'next year'.  

It was a great decision - I'm not the quickest socially anyway, and I have no doubt the extra year was beneficial.

#8 Holidayromp

Posted 20 September 2012 - 12:34 PM

I have for both DD1 and DD2.  Both were more than ready for school even though they were five weeks past the cutoff.  DD1 was climbing the walls, bored out of her brain at preschool and DD2 was more than ready.

You know your child and it is very individual which is why I don't understand the stupid cut off system because many child are sent to school way too early as a cheap childcare alternative when kids that are after the cut off like DD1 and DD2 have been more than ready.



#9 Heather11

Posted 21 September 2012 - 12:43 PM

Personally I would hedge my bets.  I would still enrol your DS and even do the transition visits to school.  You can always pull out before they start.

The reason I say this is because there is still 4 months before he would start.  He may very well mature and become less emotional during that time.

A term out from starting school my DS was still having major separation issues and wasn't very sociable.  He had a few close friends but didn't mix in the wider group.  In his last term of kindy (preschool equivalent) he matured dramatically. No tears at drop offs and started to make more friends.

We have had no issues with him starting school.  His report has indicated that he is a confident, mature and popular member of the class.  He is also  academically top of the class.

Technically we could of held him back a term or started him the following year not something that is the done thing in SA.

#10 unicycle

Posted 22 September 2012 - 12:08 AM

Yes, I regret having held my shy, but bright, daughter back. Maybe best would have been to skip prep, and go straight to year one the year following the being held back.
edited due to autocorrect

Edited by unicycle, 01 October 2012 - 11:16 AM.


#11 MrsDarcy

Posted 29 September 2012 - 08:42 PM

My DD is an April baby so very close to the ACT cut off.  Her preschool teacher said almost exactly the same thing about her and we held her back. The difference the extra year has made is amazing, she so much more confident and resilient. She is now raring to go for school and getting bored sometimes but I prefer that to her being overwhelmed with emotions and not being able to learn.

#12 bmieke

Posted 30 September 2012 - 06:46 PM

My DS has a June birthday. He was probably bright enough, and was quite fine socially with others, but he was still having big tantrums for me if he didn't get his own way. We held him back, and have been very happy. I was still always worried about how he would behave in Kindy, but he was never in trouble and topped his class. Academically, he just 'got it'.

He is year 1 this year and is in a 1/2 class, which has been great for him socially (to be able to interact with the year 2's).

Edited by bmieke, 30 September 2012 - 06:46 PM.


#13 millie_11

Posted 01 October 2012 - 07:42 PM

DS1 was 5 in June and I held him back so he'll start Jan 13 - academically he would have been more than ready, but the development in him this year has confirmed to me that socially he'll be much better off having had that extra year at day care. I too was worried that maybe he would be bored, but he hasn't been at all - he's had a great year with his friends at day care, learnt a lot, matured a lot and is quite a different little boy to what he was at the start of the year.

I was totally torn a year or so back and did speak to the school - from what they said he would have been developmentally ready, but day care was also saying he'd benefit being held back. I know now that if I had sent him, he would have been the youngest in the class, and be with kids almost 18 months older - for that reason I'm glad I held him back.

The school also suggested sending him to the transition classes so I could hedge my bets but they also warned that he would probably get excited about going and be really disappointed if he didn't go. So in the end I didn't enrol him.

I also know of 2 March children (one boy, one girl) who weren't held back - both repeated Kindy this year and have benefited massively from being a year older.

All the best, hard decision - DS2 is a March baby and so we will have a similar decision to make with him in a couple of years, but I strongly expect we'll hold him back as with DS1.

Edited by millie_11, 01 October 2012 - 07:44 PM.


#14 EBeditor

Posted 01 October 2012 - 08:49 PM

I would listen to the pre-school teachers, unless you had an overwhelming feeling that he is ready.

My son's daycare and pre-school teachers thought he'd be fine to start at 4 (also a March baby). Dh and I also agreed that he seemed ready. He is doing really well and I'm glad we decided to send him.



#15 MadamDivine

Posted 02 October 2012 - 10:06 AM

im debating the same issue (though school is slightly different in SA, its changing to follow the other states in 2014 but my dd is 5 in march next year)

so i have the choice of starting her in march where she will be in reception/prep for only 3 terms then head up to year one or holding her back a term and starting halfway through the year but meaning she wont go up to year 1 the following year and will still do a full year of prep/reception, as minimum is 3 terms maximum is 6 terms of prep.

DD is very clingy, emotional youngest child who still sometimes gets upset at day care drops offs but is slowly gaining confidence. the big factor for me to hold her back is I am due for a baby exactly when she would be starting full time school in term 2 if I send her so I worry that with new baby arriving and her emotional issues as well she may see it mummy sending her off cause the baby is here...

at a loss as to what to do? Am planning on talking to her teacher at care to see what she recomends

#16 CountryBumpkin

Posted 02 October 2012 - 10:16 AM

My son was a late march baby. He cries at the drop of a hat (still does, and he's 7.5) but he's just an emotional child. We talked about holding maim back, but I'm glad we didn't, he took his time, but he he's doing really well now, he was by mid pre primary (in wa it's kindy, pre primary, year 1 etc) he was in day care twice a week and they said he may not be ready, but for me I didn't see the difference. 2 days a week in daycare, which was longer days, or 2 days a week in kindy? As his mum only you know your son that well.

#17 GoneWithTheWhinge

Posted 02 October 2012 - 10:22 AM

I'm wildly swinging between starting my daughter next year or not. She will be 5 in July (NSW so right at the end of the cut off) and academically she is doing great - she's starting to read and wanting to learn so school would be great BUT we're moving to a Catholic school next year and they told me she would be the youngest by 5 months. Which just threw me as it seems like such a huge gap which even though she is behaving appropriately for her age it worries me that she will be behind the others in maturity and will struggle with that aspect simply because it is such a big difference in age.

I just don't want her to be on a back foot because of her age compared to the rest of the class and be struggling to fit in.

#18 qak

Posted 07 October 2012 - 02:28 PM

I am starting DD 'early' next uear as a end April 2008 birthdate.  She is socially & emotionally ready for school.  DS started this year - as an August birthday I had no choice when to send him.

If your pre-school teachers suggest waiting another year then i would follow that suggestion unless you have some positive reasons for sending them 'early'.

#19 Angelina Ballerina

Posted 07 October 2012 - 02:43 PM

My birthday is the Vic cutoff date.
It was initially decided to hold me back but it was a mistake.
Fortunately a family friend was the principal of a primary school and enrolled me midway through the prep year.

My son is also has a late April birthday and I'm pretty sure he'll fit the stereotype and will start later.

#20 kerilyntaryn

Posted 30 December 2012 - 01:27 AM

I didn't hold mine back - my boys were 4 years 1 month and 4 years 4 months when they started prep, and we 5 when they started grade 1

#21 LambChop

Posted 30 December 2012 - 08:15 AM

QUOTE
The teachers have told me that they think he might be best of to spend another year at preschool. The main reason they give is that they think the extra year will give him extra emotional maturity. They say he cries very easily if things don't work out as expected and the extra year will give him the chance to become more resilient in a safe environment.


Given this, I would hold him back - there is no rush, give him the time to be really ready - all that will happen if you rush him is he'll spend his life being the immature one.



#22 FearsomeFeralFreak

Posted 30 December 2012 - 03:07 PM

I would listen to the preschool teacher.


#23 ~Misty~

Posted 30 December 2012 - 03:15 PM

Holding him back would not only give him the emotional maturity to cope better with his first year at school but will also be of benefit later on - think of the pressures of high school ...


#24 *Lena*

Posted 30 December 2012 - 03:18 PM

I would listen to the pre school teacher too. I have seen to many young kids start kinder and are not emotionally ready. It does effect there learning.

My son could go next year to. Was born 27th Feb 2008(he was due March). I am holding him back. I have seen such an improvement in the last few months in him emotionally etc but I still think another year would make him super ready. Everyone I talk to says I won't regret holding him back.

#25 Luckybee

Posted 12 January 2013 - 09:23 AM

I'd hold him back too, especially seeing as though the pre-school has also recommended it.  My DD is a late March baby and I held her back a year, it is the best decision I ever made.

I've also been told by many parents with older children who held them back that the one year difference at the other end, (ie high school years) makes a huge difference, more so than when they are in infants years.

Best of luck with your decision.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How I learnt to relax about routines

After many routine-led, tough years, we've realised that being parenting isn't about being perfect. It isn't about following a schedule to a T.

Should you have a third child or not?

I thought our family had been complete with our two boys. I had no idea how much I needed my daughter until she was here.

Helping a toddler embrace an adopted sibling

A single parent by choice, I am preparing to adopt a second baby from Morocco. And I face a special challenge.

When pregnancy messes with your self-esteem

Pregnancy doesn't make all women feel beautiful. It certainly doesn't raise every woman's self-esteem.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Robbie Williams live tweets wife's labour

And the award for most patient woman in labour goes to ... Robbie Williams' wife, Ayda Field.

Vaccine ignorance is deadly and contagious

In the absence of credible, strong political leadership, paranoia about disease can go viral.

Parenting differently based on birth order

All children have unique personalities, but keeping birth order in mind could help when parenting.

How to get rid of the mum guilt

Motherhood and guilt seem to go hand in hand, but there are ways to focus

Paid parental leave scheme grinds to a halt

The future of Prime Minister Tony Abbott's paid parental leave scheme appears to be up in the air, despite the fact it is due to begin in less than nine months.

The devastation of foetal alcohol spectrum disorders

No one's sure how many Australians are affected by foetal alcohol spectrum disorders, but the consequences for those who are can be devastating.

The pros and cons of finding out the sex of your unborn baby

It’s often one of the biggest choices parents make during the course of their pregnancy; to find out, or not to find out, the sex of their baby before it’s born.

Toddler's awesome dress up month

Two-year-old Willow and her photographer mum, Gina Lee, made October "Dress Up Willow Month". She posted photos of Willow's costumes on her Instagram account, and her creative takes on popular culture are simply adorable.

Childhood around the world

It can be easy to assume our ideas around childhood are universal, but they are particular to where we live, as these practices show.

Best picks for baby and toddler shoes

Here's a great selection of footwear from pre-walker to walker ensuring comfort and style for growing feet.

I lost my wife and daughters to Ebola - then it came for my son

Sunday, September 21, is a day I will never forget.

The 'yucky' illness that took over my life

I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss. It involves toilet talk, and probably caused my miscarriage. But it needs to be talked about.

Prenatal testing: the facts

Prenatal testing is done to check if a baby has certain medical conditions before birth. Here is some important information about what the tests are for and the risks involved.

5 things to do with your baby?s old clothes

Did you think your only option for your baby?s old clothes was to pack them away or give them to the Salvos? Think again.

Why it's possible to not realise you're pregnant until the baby arrives

After hearing about 'surprise babies' born to mums who didn't know they were pregnant, it's common to ask "how did she not realise?" But experts say it's entirely possible for it to happen.

'My miracle is finally here'

How has the world continued on its pace when mine has been altered so drastically?

Dairy can help older women fall pregnant: study

Ice cream may be the ultimate comfort food, but a study suggests it could also help older women to have children.

Megan Gale goes topless for 'sexiest people' cover

Six months after a heavily pregnant Megan Gale posed nude for Marie Claire, the glowing new mum has gone topless for the cover of another magazine.

A new perspective on life from living with two diseases

A mother shares her personal story about the difficulty of living with two conditions, one of which stops her from being able to see her daughter's face.

Warning about Children's Panadol dosage

The Therapeutic Goods Administration has issued a safety advisory warning parents about confusion when using the dosing syringe supplied with Children's Panadol.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Take 'The Coles Big Nappy Change' Challenge

You could become part of our Test Drive team and win one of 200 packs of Coles Little Explorer Nappies as part of our 5-day challenge.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Thief uses breast milk as weapon

Police are on the hunt for a thief who robbed a pharmacy using her lactation skills.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.