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#15722376 We did it! **Updated OP** Nearly there!

Posted Bwok~Bwok on 07 August 2013 - 01:06 PM

16 weeks today and got the results from the NIPT (non-invasive prenatal testing)! 12 week scan and Bloods put us in the risk of 1:33 - and it's been a looooonnnngggg 3 week wait - but the results come in at 1:2 million something, something and something. I've got a baby in my belly - now got to work out how to put a ticker in my sig (and get the enter key to work)


Well I thought I'd had better do a quick date to say we made it to the 3rd trimester - 28w1d today! :D

As I type this, my Little One is currently kicking, head butting or punching me in the cervix, which is giving me the heebeejeebies.
  • The m/s is finally more misses than hits
  • I have the dreaded hemi's that are doing my head (butt) in.
  • I need a sign that say's 'Wide Load: Do Not Overtake Turning Vehicle' I'm huge
  • The fibroid is still in competition with the baby on who can grow the fastest
  • I've been told I'll be having a caesarean
  • My feet I now refer to as 'Puffers'
  • I've got Granny Knickers, that if I sew the leg holes closed and put a zipper on the top, I'd had some good cushion covers.
  • The maxi dresses look like I've nicked off with someone's doona covers.
  • I have to 'squeeze and sneeze'
  • The past week, I can't laugh without doing a fart, which makes me laugh even harder - which we all know what happens when you fart and laugh at the same time, sounds like a machine gun - bit embarrassing when you have visitors.
  • The only way I can see my feet when walking is to do the 'Goose Step'
  • I have to go down stairs sideways to make sure my feet actually hit the step
  • We have a shower door that opens into the shower, which means no more showers with DP as to close the door he gets squished up against the cold tiles.
  • My hips hurt
  • My back hurts
  • Putting your leg on a fluffy pillow is like trying to throw your leg over Mount Everest.
  • Turning over in bed requires a 6 point turn.
  • Attempting to mow the lawn in the lady garden using a mirror and going by 'feel', left me dizzy and you can now call me 'patches'
  • and so on and so on...
But having said all of that, I wouldn't change it for the world and I'd do it again in a heartbeat!

**UPDATE** 33 weeks and 4 days.

A lot has happened since my last update.

The day after my last update I got the 'talk' about 'getting to 32 weeks will be good, getting to 34 weeks will be the icing on the cake!' They are monitoring me for PE. My feet have been so puffy that I now have tiny little stretch marks on my ankles.

30 weeks I tested positive to GD - cut off level was 8.0 I come in at 8.3 - so I can manage it through diet.

The baby is getting poopy with the fibroid and is pushing it out of the way, which can be really uncomfortable - and reminds me of 'Aliens'.

Before it was people asking me if I was having only 1 baby, now Dr's and MW's are asking me if I'm certain it is only 1.

32 weeks, BP was a bit high, pain in my back and I had a 'loss' so had to go in for monitoring. But all good.

Next day woke up with a cold. Day after my ear drum ruptured.

A couple of days ago I had to go to the ER as I thought I was having a stroke, but I was dx with Bell's Palsy.

I'm being robbed of the little sleep I am getting because of this cough, and with the baby being down so low, my bladder control isn't so good.

OB still won't give me a date for the C/S as he doesn't believe I'll make it. All I know is that he won't allow me to go past 38 weeks.

M/S has kicked in again and I have zero energy from the virus/flu/cold or whatever it is I have.

But out of all that, I am now seeing all the lumps/bumps that stick out when the baby moves, but I can't work out if it's a foot or hand yet!

#16398293 We listened to Disney on Ice today from the bottom of the stairs PHOTOS #469-...

Posted jojonbeanie on 06 July 2014 - 02:04 PM

Hi everyone.

I'm sorry I was missing in action yesterday. Elias was a bit unwell yesterday and needed some extra attention plus my husband and son returned from a family funeral overseas - so it was a bit chaotic at home.

First of all thank you so much for all your support on this issue. I'm overwhelmed by how everyone has gotten behind this.

Unfortunately this kind of situation happens all too frequently for people with disabilities but for the most part it goes unnoticed because usually people with disabilities have so little public representation and their small voices are downed out in the busyness of life. You have turned a whisper into a roar! One of the things I have come to realise since having my own child with disabilities is that so many other parents don't have the opportunity or the means to speak out for their child. They might not have English as a first language, have access to the tools or networks they need or have the confidence or energy to take on a large organisation. Every time any of us speaks out against discrimination we do so on behalf of all the other people who are not able to make their voice heard. Congratulations and thank you for being a roaring voice for my family and others like us.

I have had some lengthy conversations with HiSense Arena staff about our situation. Initially they offered us two tickets to attend the Saturday evening performance and asked us to purchase our own parking. Disabled parking has to be booked and paid for in advance. As I've said before, a night performance isn't suitable for us as it's far too late and cold to have Elias out in Melbourne this time of year. Following all the social media attention HiSense staff contacted me again and I explained this and told them I had purchased my own tickets to the matinee show on Monday. They have refunded the cost of those matinee tickets and my parking for that performance. While I'm obviously grateful for this it did rather seem like a small gesture that came a little late.

At that time they were unable to help me with my request for a meet and greet with Buzz and were leaving it to the show promoters to offer this. Disney and/or the promoters have done nothing to contact me other than an automated response on their Facebook page and an automated response to my emails.

Yesterday HiSense staff contacted me again and have organised a 10 minute meeting with Buzz Lightyear before our show. I'm thrilled Elias has the opportunity for this. It will be the absolute highlight of his year. I actually haven't told him about it yet because he was a little unwell yesterday and I wanted to see how that developed before I made any promises to him that we might not be able to keep. He's looking a a lot brighter today so I'm confident that we'll be able to make the meeting with Buzz and the show. Stand by EB for loads of Buzz photos!

So at this point how do I feel? Incredibly heartened by all the support and good wished we have received. Saddened that it had to come to this. Thankful and pleased that HiSense has organised for Elias to meet his idol. Without wanting to sound greedy I'm a little deflated that it took so much noise from all of you and the community to get what is really not a huge response from them.

One of the positives about this whole process is that I have been able to talk to Melbourne and Olympic Parks about their new Disability Action Plan. Unfortunately it seems in reviewing their disabled access it they have chosen not to install fully accessible toileting facilities. Most people see disabled toilets and presume they are suitable for all but if you can't actually get out of your chair and sit on a toilet they don't help much at all. What people with complex physical needs require is a full adult sized change table to lie on to attend to their toileting needs and an overhead hoist to help carers get them out of their wheelchair and onto the change table. Without these kinds of facilities people just can't have their toileting needs met. No-one wants to talk about it but we all know that means sitting in a wet or soiled incontinence product for hours. Would you want to do this yourself or have this for your child? It's unhealthy and humiliating. Lack of fully accessible toileting facilities is an enormous barrier to people with significant disabilities and their loved ones participating in everyday activities.

It seems the team at Melbourne and Olympic Parks, of which HiSense Arena is part, have been given expert advice on installing fully accessible toileting facilities but have chosen not to make it part of their immediate Disability Action Plan. I've been told they will consider it in the medium term. What this means is it will actually be years until they even review the situation. Not good enough! People who attend Melbourne's major arena complex deserve to have toileting facilities that meet their needs now - not in several year's time, if at all. The truth no-one wants to see is that after all those cute meet and greet photos with Buzz Lightyear on Monday I'll be struggling to get Elias out of his wheelchair and then lying him on the filthy, cold floor of the disabled toilets to change him before the show.

So thanks EB for all your help. We'll be thinking of every one of you when we meet Buzz on Monday. But let's use the spotlight we have created here to shine on another access issue that perhaps isn't so pretty but as all you mums know is one of the real facts of caring for our kids.

In anticipation of our Buzz photo session tomorrow I'm sharing one of my favorite snaps of my husband (bless him!), Elias and his dog Bo in their winning costumes for the local dog fashion parade earlier this year.

Posted Image

#17366189 7 months later...

Posted BadCat on 06 March 2016 - 11:04 AM

It occurs to me that 7 months ago today my husband up and left.

I was unwell at the time. I was stressed.  I was sad.  I was angry.  I was worried I would never get a job.  I was worried how it would affect the kids.  I was worried I would lose my house.

I turned to EB for support and, as always, EB came through.

So 7 months on, how are things going?

My tiny business is growing.  I'm about to expand into a targetted area which could see it go through the roof if I get it right.

I start full time work tomorrow in a decent job with decent pay and prospects.  It was the first job I interviewed for.  The interview was in October (?), they told me I had it in December, and finally I'll be starting tomorrow.

I have savings.

The house is in my name.

The new car is mine.

The kids are doing fine and the custody arrangement where I have them 100% and he gets to see them when he feels like it is working fine (For us at least.  I don't know how he's feeling about it, but he hasn't asked to change anything.)

I have a reasonably small debt for my house which I can easily pay out in the agreed upon time frame.

Property settlement is complete.

His stuff is still cluttering up my garage and office space but will be gone within a few weeks and then I can set my business up down there instead of on the dining table.

I am content.

You said I'd be OK EB.  And you were right.  :thumbs:

#16401593 We listened to Disney on Ice today from the bottom of the stairs PHOTOS #469-...

Posted jojonbeanie on 08 July 2014 - 12:14 PM

Hi to all our EB supporters!

Reporting back that we had a fantastic time meeting Buzz yesterday. When Elias woke up I explained to him we were going back to Disney On Ice in the afternoon and would be meeting Buzz. I don't think he believed me until I got his Buzz Lightyear costume out. All the way in the car he was signing BUZZ!  BUZZ! If you can squeal in sign language he was doing it. After some initial difficulties parking (It seems you can't actually access the disabled car parks at 1.00pm even though the prebooked ticket says any time after 12.30pm. Sigh.) we were met by HiSense staff and ushered into a private viewing room.

I thought Elias was going to burst with joy when Buzz finally appeared. I was a little worried it might take him a bit of time to get used to the idea but it was all good from the first moment. Buzz was fantastic. He danced with Elias, ran around the room, played tag, exchanged laser fire and really played with Elias. I can't praise Buzz's actor highly enough. He/she was wonderful. When you are wearing a bulky costume it's hard to interact for an extended time with someone who is in a chair and can't speak but he was fully engaged with Elias and made the whole experience really personal. Buzz gave Elias a gift to say goodbye. I think this was a great idea otherwise Elias would have clamped himself to Buzz's leg and Mr Lightyear would have spent the rest of the day dragging 160kg wheelchair behind him.

Our front row seats for the show worked out really well, especially as everyone knew how to get to them this time. Elias was ecstatic to see the Toystory cast on the ice. When Woody and Jessie appeared next to him he was delighted. We waved to Buzz and the whole show was just wonderful. The HiSense staff were very attentive, even kindly getting me a drink and something to eat.

Elias was exhausted after the whole show and fell asleep in the car on the way home. Unheard of. He slept through until 11.00am this morning and woke up asking for Buzz.

It was a wonderful day but I guess the only negative was that after all this I still had to change Elias in the back of the car in the cold car park afterwards. This is obviously no fun for anyone; me Elias or the passersby. Pretty soon Elias will be too big for me to lift into the car to do this and our options for outings will be even more limited. I really hope we can get venues like HiSense to understand how important it really is to have fully accessible toilets.

I'm posting some photos. Sorry if they are a bit blurry. The room was dark and there was a lot of movement but I think you'll get the idea.

Dear EB friends thank you so much for giving me the energy and support to follow up on this. We couldn't have had this wonderful experience without you.

The moment Elias sees Buzz.
Posted Image

#16655135 20 000th post manifesto - things that are important. (please add yours)

Posted HRH Countrymel on 25 November 2014 - 10:34 AM

With much shame I realise I have reached my 20 000th post - this to me represents a lot of wasted time, as a childless person on a parenting site there is a certain humiliation involved as well..

I will add here I joined EB as a dewy eyed innocent assuming she would soon be sharing her experiences of mothering, asking her questions as to 'How do I get green stains from MCNs?' and sharing my own tips on BLW.. but fate had other plans, here I am many years later still without a child of my own.

I have however, had a splendid time.  I've met some wonderful people, I've had some great experiences and I've felt the hands of faceless strangers holding me up when I thought I was too sad to keep going.


I HAVE reached 20000 posts so I'd better make this one count.

Following is a list (or manifesto if you will) of things that I think are important.  Things that make my life a more pleasant experience.

#1  Laugh.

This is the most important thing you will ever do.  
If you think you are in love and your partner doesn't make you laugh, they ARE NOT THE ONE FOR YOU!  
All the great sex, all the chiselled cheekbones, all the lavish spending habits in the world will be useless if you don't make each other laugh.
Laughter is the cheapest, most wonderful thing in the world - it makes the most unpleasant task bearable, it makes the most boring day fun, it takes the edge away from tragedy and turns it into poignant farce.  
And it reminds you how much you love people.

#2  Food

Eat good food, eat for pleasure, cook with love.

Don't be afraid of food.  It should be a joy, it should be an expression of love to the people you feed.
Butter is good!  Life is far too short to waste a single second of it eating 'margarine'.
Grow some food, buy local, buy in season, experiment, keep many spices on your shelves, preserve, make your own stock, have a freezer full!

#3  Rituals

Make your own rituals.  Don't wait for the stress and expense and pressure of Christmas to celebrate.  There are dozens of things every week you can celebrate.
Off the top of my head this week we have celebrated - the first swim of Summer (with associated towelling, air sluicing, and post swim snacks that happen after every swim), Pizza night - this has a song, the 'fist of fury' dough punching, a special garlic bread container that makes me smile ever week when I see it, and themed entertainment.  We have also celebrated two amazing sunsets and a 'three egg day' from the chickens.

#4  Be nice.

Be nice to people.  You don't have to be a doormat, but try being nice.  Smile at randoms, make small talk with the little old man next to you in the supermarket, listen and be interested(fake interest if you must) in what people want to talk about.

.....which leads into...

#5  General knowledge

Know something about everything.  People are so pleased when you show a genuine interest in what they are interested in.  You don't have to care passionately about it but a tiny scrap of knowledge that enables you to ask a genuine question or do some reflective listening makes all the difference.
Do I care about football? No not at all!  Can I talk about football? Yes!  Do I enjoy listening to someone talk about something they are passionate about? You betcha!
General knowledge on a subject that the person you are talking to can also be vital when you are making analogies to explain what you ARE interested in..

OK that's enough...

'Laugh, eat with joy, search in weird places for the interesting bits of life'  -   that'll do for today!

*adjusts '20000th post hat' and wafts out of the thread....*

#17063722 Baby Pooks has arrived

Posted Prioritising Pooks on 29 July 2015 - 05:54 AM

Kate Willow arrived yesterday afternoon. The birth was wonderful and all are well. I'm elated.

Please don't quote as I'll edit later.

Thank you to EB in general, and to the members who have been a particular support in this long, difficult pregnancy. You know who you are- thank you.

She's here and I bloody did it.

She is an absolute delight, all eyes and gurgles.

#17295438 DISASTER STRIKES AGAIN: Oh God Is it possible to die from embarrassment?

Posted snortle on 15 January 2016 - 10:39 AM

My DH gave my FIL his old iphone.
I just sent a raunchy pic to my DH.
The old iphone is still connected to my DHs itunes account.
My FIL just called my DH to tell him that some personal messages seem to be coming through to his phone and when DH asked what messages FIL just coughed and said "um, you should probably ask snortle".
Kill me.

Only option is to get a divorce and never see my FIL again.
I couldn't even dig a hole deep enough to bury myself in right now.

#17047666 A bit of a realisation about my role as a mother

Posted ~ Summers on 17 July 2015 - 04:17 PM

Excuse the essay, just wanted to think this through.

We are on a very low income, and have been for a while. Most of our income goes towards rent and basics. We budget very, very tightly. That's okay - it is just part of being young parents who are still working towards creating a more financially secure future.

Still, my toddler's birthday is soon and I've been feeling a bit guilty about how we can't afford to buy her anything special - or much of anything at all. We are not materialistic, and I know toddlers don't care - but I guess I want her to have even a bit of what I didn't get growing up.

All she's ever wanted in her very short life are those aggressively sparkly shoes that light up - she absolutely covets them when she sees them on other kids - but at $70 + a pair, we just can't swing it. It was my intention a while ago to save and get her a pair for her birthday, but that money ended up going towards a text book.

My Mother in Law has very kindly just purchased DD a pair of these light up shoes, which she did after enquiring about what kind I "ended up buying" DD, as DD's desire for a pair of these "sparkle shoes" has become the stuff of legend. I had to admit that we hadn't been able to manage it this year, and that I was aiming instead for Christmas. It wasn't at all MIL's intention, she is lovely - but I felt so humiliated.

I know DD will open these when we go over to the In Laws on her birthday and be beside herself with excitement, which will be so lovely to see. I just, selfishly, wanted to be the one to do that for her after promising her these shoes for so long.

With the money stress and all the time I've had to spend away from her this year whilst on full time uni placement, it feels, however illogically, like I haven't done a lot right by her.

Until this afternoon.

DD has been repeatedly sick with stupid winter colds - at the moment she has an ear infection which the antibiotics are yet to fix. She's overtired and inconsolable. She doesn't want to be touched but won't be put down. Irritable and screaming / crying.

I was holding her, trying to get her to nap as she desperately needs sleep (as do I!) Her sweat, tears and snot had soaked my top and as she lay against my chest, howling over my shoulder, I could feel little rivulets of dribble trickling down my back. We'd been like this for over an hour and nothing I said or did was helping. It felt a bit hopeless.

Without consciously thinking about it, I started singing one of the stories about the Dreaming, from when I was little. I couldn't remember the elder's story about the song, but the rhythm and the melody just kind of rose up from inside me and hummed out from me through to DD on my chest.

She stopped howling after the first few seconds and became still, listening. I felt her little balled up fists slowly begin to unclench. After a few minutes, her intermittent sobs quietened and she began breathing evenly. She fell asleep on my chest and I kept singing, nervous she'd wake up if I stopped before she began sleeping deeply.

When I was sure she was truly asleep,  I listened to her snore quietly on my shoulder. I realised that although my singing is the definition of ordinary, that in that moment - for DD - her comfort came from me. It wasn't anything shiny or expensive, but it was a part of me that emerged because I wanted her to feel content, safe and loved.

Today made me realise that this is everything, and enough.


#16445026 DD injured - am I over reacting or right to be angry?

Posted MrsSmith247 on 30 July 2014 - 07:33 PM


#17080774 Ex DP is confusing me!

Posted cinnabubble on 10 August 2015 - 03:12 PM

He's a b*st*rd and is trying to keep you dangling after him.

#16281213 Can't keep it in!

Posted niggles on 09 May 2014 - 04:29 PM

I am beside myself. Figuratively.  

So I miscarried spontaneously at 11 weeks 3 weeks ago and have been a determined but messy mess ever since waiting for it all to be over. I haven't stopped bleeding so today I steeled myself and went for the scan and to schedule a d&c. GP prepared me for the outside chance it had been a twin pregnancy and I was still pregnant. I didn't think much off it until I laid in that clinic today and saw a perfect 14 week old heartbeat! And wee little fingers and toes and everything!

I'm still bleeding but for today I am happy and smiling a real smile for the first time in a long time.

Unbelievable.  Pregnancy. Miscarriage.  Twins. It's got all the hallmarks of unbelievable on it but I'm staring at a picture of the evidence and not wiping the grin off my face. Really wish I'd got a scan 3 weeks ago now!

#16015125 Opinions please on SIL - update p.g 6

Posted cinnabubble on 04 January 2014 - 02:27 PM

Let your husband kick her out.

#16551641 Dear Muslim EB members...

Posted Nasteh Llamah on 25 September 2014 - 12:21 AM

Please don't judge us all by the pathetic fearmongering our government and media portray.

Nearly every religious faith has their die-hard evangelical types.  I'd like to think that most Australians get this concept and don't judge an entire culture by the actions of a few.  I can understand if it doesn't look this way right now, but I still think it's true.

Live how you choose to live, wear what you choose to wear, and believe in the faith that is meaningful to you.  All any of us can do is the above, and respect the right of others to do the same.

I've read so much today how Muslim Australians are feeling marginalised and actually downright hated, and yeah, I've seen it in commentary and the mainstream media.

I can understand how you might feel, but please don't think the naysayers speak for us all.  They do not.

Overwhelming urge to don rastafarian cap and fistbump those of all faiths right now xxxx

#16383888 School showing PG movies

Posted protart roflcoptor on 28 June 2014 - 01:38 PM

Errrr, I would say that 8yrs old is plenty old enough to watch Shrek.

#17064574 I'm going to open a can of worms here, but what do you think?....

Posted BreezaH on 29 July 2015 - 04:34 PM

Do I think everyone is booing him because of racist reasons? No. I think some people are booing him because they don't like him, some are booing him because they think it's funny and others are booing him because everyone else is.

However - I think it started for racist reasons. He's the sort of Aboriginal no one really likes. Doesn't keep quiet and smile and say thank you for allowing me to play football. He speaks out, he talks about racism, he talks about how racist this country still is. Everyone CLAIMS that it isn't racist and that we've moved past that as a country. However a post on my fb this morning about a small girl of Indian appearance that had been found and taken to a police station was overrun with comments like "parents were probably too busy cooking a curry to notice she was gone" and "There are 1.2bn Indians, this just goes to show they're breeding so much they don't even notice when they lose their own kids" suggests that in no way has this country moved forward/past racism.

You can not like him. You can boo him - lots of players get booed. But no one, not players who beat their wives, play for free kicks, punch other players, take drugs etc, get booed to the extent that Adam Goodes does. It overtakes the entire game every time he goes anywhere near the ball. And it's origins are definitely stemming from racism and a resentment of his speaking out.

#17623014 EBeditor flounce - YAAB!

Posted F.E.B.E on 05 October 2016 - 10:11 PM

Hi everyone,

Tomorrow will be my last day as Essential Baby/Kids editor at Fairfax before I move to new opportunities.

I intend to stay on as a volunteer moderator but will change my name to something new and different.

I have absolutely treasured my position here in this truly remarkable online community. It has been such a privilege to head up the mod and admin team for the last six years.

There were some crazy aspects to my job, like meeting Julia Gillard, Quentin Bryce and Khloe Kardashian.

But it's the interactions with members that will stick with me.
Bella who lost all her dresses in the Queensland floods and the strangers who bought more to send to her.
The babies lost, the women who found courage to leave violent relationships due to the strength of the community.
The writers who found their voice on Essential Baby and Essential Kids and went on to carve whole new careers.
The hilarious threads, wedding sagas, fierce debates - it truly is a special corner of the internet. Once you get sucked in, there's no going back.

My replacement is yet to be hired, but  in the meantime Therese, Chelli and Sandra are here to help you with your forum questions and issues (assisted by the fabulous mod team), and EBMel is available if you have any editorial queries.

Finally, before I flounce off, I've got one thing to say - YAAB!

You are all beautiful.

Posted Image

#16064676 Birth marks indicate cause of death in a past life

Posted LynnyP on 26 January 2014 - 08:08 PM

The bruise to my forehead suggests I died from a massive face palm incident.

#17726286 Today my GP gave me a hug...

Posted Mose on 18 January 2017 - 11:37 AM

...it's ok, she asked first.

She wanted to because she was so utterly delighted to meet our daughter for her six week check-up, after having been brilliantly supportive through a very long fertility journey.

Eleven years ago, we excitedly started "trying" for a family.

Six years ago, our son was born after many years of trying naturally, a nasty discovery of humongous cysts that the FS thought could possibly mean she would have to remove the ovaries when she operated (thankfully not), and our first ever IVF attempt.

The subsequent 7 attempts (3 fresh, four frozen), netted us nothing but big credit card bills.  We gave up.

Then, late last year, I got to hankering for one more try, just to be sure it was never meant to be.

We did a cycle, I got my period, and I knew that I was at peace with us as a family of three.  Then I discovered that an embryo had been frozen as a result of that cycle.  

And now, she is snoozing upstairs.

Eleven years, tens of thousands of dollars, and an ocean of tears, and we are so blessed to have two beautiful children.

It was a good hug!

#17289092 You pour your visitor a drink, would you let them take the cup home too?(hypo...

Posted The 8th Plum on 11 January 2016 - 02:14 PM

Next time you go to her place, when you leave take the chair you were sitting on with you.

Tell her you haven't finished sitting on it.

#16401639 We listened to Disney on Ice today from the bottom of the stairs PHOTOS #469-...

Posted jojonbeanie on 08 July 2014 - 12:34 PM

Last one with me too because now that about half a million people world wide have seen this thread and associated facebook posts and tweets it seems a bit late to be coy now.

Posted Image[


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Here are some ideas for getting that budget in shape, ready for being a one income family.


Baby Names

Need some ideas?

See what names are trending this year.

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