[lucfly1]

We have an 87 year old Grandfather who we suspect is getting some form of Dementia. We've noticed some major personality changes in the last 5 years and he is becoming increasingly cranky and difficult to deal with. He still has 'good' days - but these are getting further and further apart. He used to have conservative views on most things but now he is swearing like a trooper, makes inappropriate sexual remarks constantly and has absolutely no respect for anyone/anything.

Our major problem is a supposed 'carer' he has 'employed'. She is half his age and has a fairly strong criminal past (inc. drug traffick charges, thefts and various other things) and is on welfare. He is going through lots of cash each week and she escorts him to the bank (he's been going through around $3,500 per month on average). He doesn't have any expenses as he lives in a fully paid for retirement village.

He has also now included her in his Will - which she is aware of (she was also involved in escorting him around to have this document signed when he had it re-done recently). We don't care that he is leaving the money to someone else and would rather give it to charity than have her end up with anything.

We have shown him her criminal history (a family member is in the police force and was involved in her arrest some years ago) but he does not want to know about it. If anything he defends her over us.

I know that he enjoys her company and it boils down to the fact that he is paying her to be his friend. We are just getting sick of him siding with her over us - even though she has very questionable motives and he can't see it. We all visit him very regularly and include him in all family events - but he seems to be pulling away from us and thinks we are against him. We are just trying to put it down to the changes going on in his brain - it just doesn't make sense otherwise.

It is a very sad situation and am wondering if anyone has any advice or experience.