[Em01]

Please help me girls!! How would you deal with this.

I am pretty strong on giving my kids 'healthy' food the majority of the time. Apart from the fact they are only 2 and 1, I don't see the need in introducing them to fast food at this stage. They will be introduced to all the fast food outlets themselves when they are old enough to know whats going on, so I figure, why give them the taste for it, when they are non the wiser at this stage. I am also funny about rewarding with food - I think there are better things to reward my kids with and don't want them to ever think they get rewarded wtih crap food when they are good. My MIL knows I don't want them eating junk.

My DS is a really fussy eater. After a few wines, my MIL admits that 'he loves chicken mcnuggets'! This isn't the first time I have found out that when she is babysitting she is feeding my kids the crap she eats. When he had been on solids for less than a month I found out she had been feeding him chips and cookies (which by the way, had nut traces in them). My DS is one and I really don't see how I can get it through her head that I don't want my kids eating McDonalds etc at this age. I do offer them a wide variety of food and am not obsessed with their diet - but just want to draw the line at McDonalds.

Any advice would be soooo much appreciated.

Thanks so much, in advance! :-)

[steppy]

If you really don't like it, don't get her to babysit.

[mischiefmaker]

If she can't abide by your rules (which, by the way, I think are totally fair enough) then I wouldn't be leaving my children in her care.

This post has been edited by mischiefmaker: 08/11/2009, 01:40 PM

[CanberraCath]

Mcdonalds every now and then isnt' going to hurt them. They're not going to get addicted to it if its a treat thing that they do with Grandma. Its not a biggy in my book - certainmly not something you need to fight with her about.

My MiL gives my kids stuff I don't give them at home Chocolate, chips etc, and its their little treat day. I also ask her to look after them one day a week for no pay and they have fun therem so fairs fair - her house her rules, my house my rules.

Be happy you have her around to help you out.

[suzy-c]

Just tell her you don't want them eating McDonalds, and provide meals for when she babysits. If she still ignores you, then you'll have to decide whether you want her babysitting anymore.

I was living with my mum when I had my son. She paid no attention to what I wanted whatsoever. She ignored absolutely everything I said, disregarded the child rearing methods I wanted to use, and refused to hand him over when I asked her to. (even when carrying him near a slippery riverbank, and she can't swim.) After THAT incident, we moved out.

If it's important to you, make sure she knows your feelings about the food in a way that she can have no doubt its not negotiable. Then see what happens. Sometimes clear and blunt is all that works. Sometimes even that doesn't work.
Good luck with it all anyway!
Suzy.

[TheGreenSheep]

The thing is grandparents do it differently. Not your way.

Its not what you want. I understand that. She aint changing. Get a new babysitter.

[mischiefmaker]

Mcdonalds every now and then isnt' going to hurt them.

It's not going to hurt them. But it's completely unecessary to be feeding a 1 and 2 year old McDonalds, even occasionally.

The OP doesn't want them eating crap. McDonlads is crap.

Pretty simple really.

[*PoppyCat*]

I think that you need to reassess if you want your MIL caring for your children if she can't follow your rules.

While I don't think the occasional treat will hurt them, you as their parent have the final say. So if she won't adhere to your requests, maybe it's time to look for alternate childcare.

[namie]

I, too, would be pretty strict about this! Grandparents spoil kids. That's an unwritten rule and I don't think that's ever going to change, however they need to do it within the boundaries set by the parents. My Pop was always handing out lollies and ice cream cones and smarties but only to those kids old enough (ie. above 3/4ish) and always with the parents knowing (except we didn't know they knew, we thought it was our little secret!).

It may be hard to do as I don't know the circumstances, but I would again demand that she not gives them junk food (and get your DH to back you up as it will carry more weight coming from him) and if she can't follow your rules then she can't babysit.

[Em01]

Thanks guys.

I guess I think its important for grandparents to see the kids and be in their lives. I am lucky, because I have a Mum who is always ready and willing to babysit (and who respects my wishes as a Mum absolutely) and MIL who is also more than willing to have that time with the kids. For my MIL it is her only grandchildren, so not letting her spend time with them on her own is out of the question for me. I just wouldn't do it to her or the kids.

I hate confrontation, and I guess I figure she should respect me enough to not go behind my back with things I don't want. I don't have many rules and am pretty laid back with everything else.

I will just have to learn to be more forthright and keep reminding her of my wishes for my kids.

Thanks for your thoughts.