Dear younger, more fertile self ...

You will forget what this innocence feels like.
You will forget what this innocence feels like. Photo: Shutterstock

It's hard for you to imagine right now the pain and heartache you'll go through in trying to have a baby in your 30s. It'll be the worst physical pain you will ever feel. The heartache will be worse than losing your mother to cancer. Unfortunately, though, wisdom is something you acquire after you need it and this advice can't change your inevitable future. But here it is anyway.

First of all, scrap all those ideas about your career. You always wanted children and a family more than you wanted to be a chemistry teacher. So why are you are you letting your career rule your life? Society is telling you to be a strong, independent, goal-oriented woman but you are constantly fighting your heart to do so.

You're too afraid to admit that you want to be a mum and a wife more than you want to be a teacher. I know everyone is encouraging you to go to University and establish yourself in a career, but don't listen to them. They don't have to live your Secondly, you may think you are healthy, but you aren't. You have a genetic mutation that will only present itself when you have your first miscarriage. You will be pregnant for a total of 52 weeks with six different angel babies, but you will never get a chance to hold any of them.

You eat well, you run marathons, you don't drink or smoke, your BMI is perfect, and you have normal periods. But don't be lulled into thinking this health directly relates to your reproductive health. Your doctors will keep telling you there's still a good chance of having your own baby, but statistics don't have any relevance to your future. Ignore them. IVF will fail you 4 times. You will lose one of your fallopian tubes due to an ectopic pregnancy and this will cut your chances even more.

No-one would have predicted this when you were in your 20s.

Thirdly, stop waiting for the perfect time to conceive. There isn't one. You only have a few more fertile years and you can't keep waiting. You can work, pay off a mortgage and travel the world at 50, but you can't conceive children then. You'll never be exactly in the perfect place to have a child. Stop waiting for the universe to open that door for you – open it yourself.

And finally, if your current partner isn't willing to walk this track with you right now (or anytime soon) move on. He's not right for you – the right one will know how important it is for you to have a family, and he will want the same.

Don't be afraid to talk to him about this and don't be afraid if you scare him away. You'll save yourself many tears and much agony if you're upfront and honest with yourself and your partner. And if you're not with a partner now, then freeze some eggs while they are still viable. The $10,000 will pale in comparison to the money you will spend on all the other fertility treatments later in life.

Your wish on your fifth birthday was for your doll to turn into a real baby and you were so sad when it didn't happen. The sadness you will suffer in your 30s will be much worse. It will cripple you for weeks at a time. It will consume your every thought. It will change your relationships, your faith, and your outlook on life. The YOU you know now will be lost in a cloud of infertility and you will forget what this innocence feels like.

I hope you are starting to shed some of those ideals and beliefs you held onto so strongly. I know how hard it is to let them go – our society is constantly making you feel ashamed of wanting what you do.

There is nothing wrong with the woman who got pregnant at 18, before she got a university degree and owned a house. She hasn't ruined her life and her baby isn't doomed to a deprived upbringing. What you are holding onto is only holding you back from what you really want. Your window of opportunity is small; don't let it pass you by.

- Stuff Nation