Alanis Morissette first experienced postpartum depression (PPD) after her son Ever's birth six and a half years ago, but she didn't reach out to a doctor for help with the symptoms — lethargy, scary visions, pain, and sleeplessness — until he was about 16 months old.
Following the birth of her second child with husband Mario "Souleye" Treadway in June 2016, however, the 43-year-old singer felt her PPD settle in "seconds" after Onyx's arrival. The Grammy winner opened up in an interview, explaining that she never anticipated having these experiences during the years she longed to become a mother, but she's taking the necessary steps to get better and wants to speak out in the thick of it all to shatter the stigma surrounding the topic.
"There are days I'm debilitated to the point where I can barely move," she told People, adding, "It's very isolating. I'm used to being the Rock of Gibraltar, providing, protecting and maneuvering. It had me question everything. I've known myself to be a really incredible decision-maker and a leader that people can rely on. [Now] I can barely decide what to eat for dinner."
Despite being "at the ready" to deal with the symptoms of postpartum depression after Onyx's birth, Morissette admits that struggling with the condition is particularly difficult when it comes to thinking about how it'll affect her kids. "My main priority is that I want to make sure both of my children are loved and bonded with and provided for," she said. "I want to keep as much semblance of normalcy for my kids as I can because I don't want [PPD] to be their burden."
As she continues to work her way through her own depression 14 months after Onyx's birth, Morissette is speaking out to break the silence surrounding PPD. Although she says she knows "that there's a light at the end of the tunnel" for her, the singer shared how, aside from speaking out in public about PPD, she connects with other mums struggling with the condition: "There's this version of eye contact that I have with women who have been through postpartum depression where it's this silent, 'Oh my God, I love you. I'm so sorry.'"