Inside the secret sex lives of millennial mums

Photo: Shutterstock
Photo: Shutterstock 

Millennial mums have sex on the brain, talk about it with their friends and believe their sex lives are the same or better post babies, according to the results of a surprising new survey.

Conducted by Peanut, a social networking app for mothers, the findings challenge long-held stereotypes about motherhood and sex, revealing that more than half of women want even more action between the sheets.

"We discovered that unlike generations before us, millennial mums want to talk about sex, think about it a lot, enjoy it for themselves, want to do things to enhance the experience and don't feel like becoming a mum has been detrimental to their sex lives," said a Peanut spokesperson.

Of the 1000 millennial women surveyed, 56 per cent admitted that they think about sex "often" or "very often" with half sharing that they're getting busy a couple of times a week. Modern mamas aren't waiting long before getting back on the horse either, with 52 per cent having sex after baby as soon as they got the "all clear". 

But while mums might be keen for their "second first time", 62 per cent admitted feeling "afraid or nervous". For 73 per cent, the anxiety was about pain, while 24 per cent reported feeling self-conscious. The majority of mums, a whopping 74 per cent in fact, said sex after babies was the same or better than it was pre-kids. And 70 per cent are doing kegels to enhance their boudoir experience.

Now, if you're wondering "how on earth are these mamas finding the time?", well here's an interesting discovery. A  large number of mothers, 45 per cent to be exact, have sex while their child is asleep in the same room. That said, it's not exactly ideal - almost 60 per cent have been caught in the act.

Feeling exhausted by the very thought of having sex after bringing home a new bub? Well, you're not alone. Fatigue was the number one reason preventing mamas from doing the deed, nominated by 43 per cent of those surveyed.

While the findings are interesting and may even give your sleep-deprived self hope that your sex life doesn't have to disappear post-kids, it's also important to note that there's a broad spectrum of what's "normal" when it comes to sex after babies. One Australian study published in the Journal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics & Gynecology found that in addition to extreme tiredness, women also reported that body image concerns and lack of libido impacted their sex lives post bub, as well as changes to their lifestyle and identity.

And, unlike the millennial mums in the Peanut survey, research involving a sample of aussie mamas, published in BJOG: An International Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, found that most women wait until after the six-week mark to resume sex with their partner. Those who experienced an "operative vaginal birth, caesarean section, perineal tear or episiotomy," typically wait even longer.

With so many varying experiences, the takeaway message is clear: if you can't wait to have sex again after baby, then hey - you're not alone. But if you're feeling "touched out", exhausted and you'd rather have a nap, then that's totally normal too. As Chrissy Teigen said recently of her sex life with husband John Legend after bub number two: "it doesn't matter who you are — even if you're a sexy R&B crooner or an ex-swimsuit model, you're just tired! We still have that passion for each other, but are we doing it randomly in a dressing room? No!"