It's no secret – us mums are tired. Hell, many of us haven't slept longer than four hours for months – even years – on end. We are living in a sleepless haze of baby brain, a condition that does not cease once you have your baby.
It begins in early pregnancy and ends around the time you shift them off to school. And be warned: the effects of such a condition are many and varied.
My poor partner Ben. So often I hear him talking to me (I see him talking to me) – and in fact, we are having what would appear to any outsider as a conversation. And yet I find myself staring at him blankly, sometimes for minutes on end, before realising I have no bloody idea what he has just said.
And there we are, him looking to me in anticipation of some kind of response. And I'm just standing there like a computer when you open up too many pages and everything turns to shit.
No, I don't know what day it is.
No, I don't know which of my identical twins I just fed.
No, I probably couldn't spell my name right now.
But I am here and I am functioning. Just.
The other day I found myself in the shower with my underwear on. I was legit standing there, enjoying the first shower I had had in three days, when I looked down and thought to myself, "Well, what the sh*t happened here?"
Convinced I was surely not the only one experiencing such strange occurrences as a result of sleep deprivation, I took to the Australian Mothers of Multiples Facebook page in a quest to prove to myself that sh*t could be weirder ... and the responses I got are proof of this.
And so began the "I'm so tired I …" conversation.
Here are just some of the responses I got:
- "I'm so tired I pumped without attaching the bottles."
- "I'm so tired I picked up the kids from day-care and left one behind. My husband went back and picked him up."
- "I'm so tired I took the garbage bag to work for my lunch and put my lunch bag in the garbage."
- "I'm so tired I tried to drive out of the garage with the door down."
- "I'm so tired I had a tea bag in one hand, a red snake in the other. I put the kettle on and put the tea bag in my mouth. It was a few good chews before I registered I got it mixed up."
- "I'm so tired I left my car door open with car keys inside for an hour whilst shopping."
- "I'm so tired I answered the door to the post man in my bra and undies, it has now happened 3 times and unfortunately they were not the 'cute type' of underwear – more like saggy undies and a nursing bra!"
- "I'm so tired I fell asleep in the dentist chair."
- "I'm so tired I bought a much needed coffee and drove off with it on the roof – I only realised when I saw it flying off in my rear vision mirror."
- "I'm so tired I used permanent marker instead of eyeliner. Realised after and had to do both."
- "I'm so tired I ran around the house telling my friend I was going to be late because I couldn't find my phone only to realise I was talking to her on it!"
- "I'm so tired I got all 5 kids in the car to go to the dog park, got down there and had forgotten the dog!"
- "I'm so tired I sprayed hairspray in my arm pit thinking it was deodorant… that stuff is sticky!"
- "I'm so tired I still try and 'beep beep' the house door open with my car keys. All. The. Time."
- "I'm so tired two days after bringing my boys home from hospital my neighbour asked their names. I told her one and then stood there blankly for 5 minutes trying to remember the other one and couldn't."
- "I'm so tired I turned the windscreen wipers on after shopping and when I came home I couldn't remember how to turn them off again. I seriously sat there for over 10 mins trying to remember and even then couldn't!"
- "I'm so tired I fell asleep on the toilet and woke up when I hit my head on the wall."
For your chance to win a great prize for your "I'm so tired" story visit Eliza's blog Twin Genuity here.
Eliza Curby is mum to three children born within 12 months. Daughter Charlie was born in January 2016 and six weeks later Eliza fell pregnant with twins boys, Jack and Wolfe, who arrived in December. Follow Eliza's busy journey through new motherhood on Facebook or Instagram.