Baby books come ready to go with spaces for photos and lines to fill out the dates of classic baby milestones — baby's first haircut, baby's first tooth, baby's first solid food — these are all things that new parents want to remember and share. But what about the milestones that leave us hysterically laughing (or crying), like baby's first inappropriate public outburst?
We feel strongly about remembering the funny stuff too, so we've rounded up the 20 unconventional parenting milestones that you'll want to document in the blank spaces of the baby book — and in some cases, video and play at your child's wedding for all to see.
1 The first time your baby gives you the finger.
"Thanks for giving me life, mum."
2 The first time they dis your cooking.
What do you mean you don't like peas?!
3 The first time they have an epic poop-splosion.
And it's everywhere — how it got from their tush to the couch is beyond you.
4 The first time you scare the crap out of them.
You thought it'd be a funny face . . . guess not.
5 The first time you fail at cosleeping.
And discover how truly annoying your wide-awake child is.
6 The first time they drop an F-bomb.
Depending on their age, you kind of just want to laugh at them.
7 The first time they get so hyper they projectile vomit.
It's all fun and games until someone pukes.
8 The first time they fall asleep into their meal.
They learn early that no matter how tired they may be, food is always the priority.
9 The first time they pass out on the family pet.
It's too cute not to document — beware of wagging cat tails though, not the same as wagging dog tails.
10 The first time they do something inappropriate in public.
And you can't decide whether to laugh, cry, or run away.
11 The first time you witness them in complete awe of the world.
Something clicks and they are just totally blown away (or they're pooping).
12 The first time they eat something inedible.
And all you can do is pray that it's non-toxic.
13 The first time you realise you may be in over your head.
Or that you're outnumbered. Either way, your kids are going to take over the world.
14 The first time you successfully "own" them at their own game.
Mwah ah ah ahhhh.
15 The first time you realise your child is a thief.
And a little bit gross.
16 The first time you question your kid's sobriety.
17 The first time they get stuck somewhere.
And rather than help them right away, you whip out your phone to take a video to show at their wedding.
18 The first time they throw a tantrum in public and you pretend you don't know them.
You slowly walk away, keeping an eye on them, but denying your family ties.
19 The first time they dress themselves.
Welp, at least they're not planning on going to school naked.
20 The first time you realise that your kid is going to be cooler than you.
Like, infinitely cooler.