Apparently I own a set of silver boobs. Why? Well, according to something known as the Breastfeeding Awards it's because I breastfed my baby for six months.
Yep, that's a thing. If you breastfeed, your boobs attain a special status with each milestone you achieve. It's a bit like the breastfeeding Olympics I suppose, except the accolades are self-awarded and no one sings the national anthem when you get your 'golden boobies'.
It's hard to determine exactly where and when the awards originated, although they seemed to pop up in parenting forums in the UK.
And while definitions vary, here's the general consensus:
Bronze boobs = three months of breastfeeding
Silver boobs = six months of breastfeeding
Golden boobs = one year of breastfeeding
Platinum boobs= 18 months of breastfeeding
Diamond boobs = two years of breastfeeding or longer
That said, a deep dive into boob status reveals a number of more nuanced options including amethyst or purple for mamas who tried to breastfeed and couldn't for whatever reason, and silver boobs with gold nipples for nine months. By 60 months, however, they seem to run out of craft material, gemstones and precious metals at which time you're simply awarded the title 'superstar breastfeeder'.
Breastfeeding Awards have spawned a whole world of merchandise from t-shirts, to badges, to keyrings and of course, jewellery.
You can even celebrate your feeding journey with cake:
Just like downing a placenta smoothie, or having your umbilical cord made into a piece of art, it's important to note that these awards, won't be for everyone. If your breastfeeding experience was bloody gruelling (hello tongue-ties/mastitis/low supply) but nevertheless, you persisted, then the idea of commemorating it in a special way might have you cheering.
But if you're thinking "This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Why does breastfeeding have to be a competitive sport?", well those feelings are valid, too.
Like so many aspects of motherhood, everyone's experience will be different.