Breastfeeding - it's so natural and beautiful, right? Well, not always! Sometimes things just go wrong.
Sometimes your baby comes off the boob mid-feed and your milk squirts so hard it hits the ceiling. Sometimes you accidentally squirt your baby, yourself, the dog.
If you're not the most graceful of breastfeeders, take comfort in knowing you're not alone. Here are 10 of the breast, I mean, best, tales of milky mishaps from Aussie mums who share your struggle.
And remember - carry on through the calamities if you can, mummies. You're doing a great job.
1. High rise flashing
"I used to live high up in an apartment building. One day, I was feeding my oldest boy, then aged about 12 months. He kept popping off and waving, leaving my entire breast exposed and milk spraying everywhere. It wasn't until a minute later I realised he was popping off and waving because there were window cleaners suspended on their platform waving back at him! I've never covered up so quickly. One of the window cleaners was a woman - she gave me a big smile and a thumbs up!"
- Bec, mum of three
2. Breast force
"The first time I breastfed out and about, I went to my car because I wasn't confident to breastfeed sitting up. Baby started feeding but pulled off and I sprayed nearly every window of the car in milk! I have since sprayed my baby in the face, my husband, a friend out for lunch and most objects in a one metre radius. I had no idea the let down reflex could be so powerful!"
- Juliet, mum of one
3. Milk man
"On a three-hour trip up north, I was the driver. I was determined to get there without too many stops, so when the baby started fussing I told hubby he'd have to milk me and feed her! We got a few strange looks from passing cars but baby was happy with her bottle of warm boobie milk!"
- Jasmine, mum of two
4. Slippery surprise
"When my son was around three months old, we had supply issues. I'd read that skin on skin was supposed to help boost supply, so I thought I'd give it a try. So I was sitting feeding with no top on and my son was in his nappy, when all of a sudden he covered us both in a fountain of vomit! I was screaming for my other half, shouting 'Help! Hurry! I'm going to drop him, he's so slippy!' What a sight he must have had bursting into the bedroom with me standing there topless, absolutely covered in sick, holding a confused baby at arm's length!"
- Hannah, mum of one
5. What in the world?
"I've found it incredibly amusing over the past six months or so that my current breastfeeder is mortified when a mysterious white liquid squirts from my nipples every time they're squeezed! Ghastly white liquid! I'm not sure what she actually thinks happens when she's feeding, but after breastfeeding for nearly three years now she's definitely not the expert she claims to be!"
- Katie, mum of three
6. Animal encounter
"I was at the zoo feeding my second child who was about 4 weeks old. I sat down at the orangutan enclosure to feed and one of them came and sat right next to me (on the other side of the glass), leaned against the window and kept putting its hand on the glass as if reaching out. It was beautiful, but I was soon surrounded by about 50 people!"
- Fiona, mum of two
7. Nom nom
"My son is five weeks old. About two weeks ago he was nursing and I had just got home from getting dinner for myself. Of course, baby comes first so I got him all set up and then I started eating bites of my coleslaw. I dropped a huge spoonful on his little head! He didn't mind … he just kept eating!"
8. Fun on the phone
"I was recently juggling the kids while talking to my mum on the phone. I decided to feed Isla to keep her quiet so unclipped my top. As I do this, Mum takes a breath and there's a pause in the conversation. In this moment of silence, Harry pipes up, clear as a bell: 'Mum, your nipple is out!' Thank God it was only my mum on the phone!"
- Jen, mum of two
9. On the nose
"Got a bit of a surprise that first time I woke to the dog licking my nose. But wait, we don't have a dog! It was my half asleep, co-sleeping baby looking for a point of attachment!"
- Danielle, mum of two
10. Milk, anyone?
"I was feeding my 15 month old son in a food court with a friend who had a cup of black tea. My daughter, 4, said 'Do you need milk? My mummy has lots! Mummy, just squeeze your booby!'"
- Elizabeth-Anne, mum of two