'He doesn't think I'm trying hard enough': husband's extreme actions to force wife to breastfeed

Photo: Getty Images
Photo: Getty Images 

There is no doubt breastmilk is good for babies, but mums can struggle with feeding for a variety of reasons and deserve to be supported in their decisions - especially by their partner.

Somebody needs to tell that to one woman's husband who hid baby formula from his wife, leaving her no choice but the breastfeed her biting baby. 

Writing on the subthread on Reddit 'AITA' (Am I the A—hole) the mum began the post saying "my daughter, 10 months old has recently started biting during breastfeeding".

"When she starts to bite, I simply tell her 'no' and put her down immediately. I only started doing this recently because my breasts kind of look like a war zone- I'm bleeding and sore because of the biting and simply cannot take it anymore" she continued.

The woman says she's started using a breast pump instead, which she still finds painful, so she uses a mix of pumping and formula to feed her daughter. According to the woman though, her husband doesn't like this.

"He was okay with me pumping and feeding our daughter until I started supplementing with formula" she said. "He believes that breast milk is best and formula is the devil because it's not 'natural' or something. At this age, I'm giving her milk around 4-5 times a day, and still attempt to breastfeed once or twice a day."

The woman continued saying "it reached the tipping point yesterday when he hid the formula so I'd have 'no choice' but to breastfeed our daughter".

When she asked him why he did this, he responded saying "he simply says he doesn't think I'm not trying hard enough".

"I stopped simply because she's biting me," she mother said, saying her husband thinks "that a good mother wouldn't stop doing what's best for her child simply because she's in pain."


Users on the popular website quickly responded to the post, assuring her she was NTA (Not the A—hole) and they couldn't believe her husband had resorted to such strategies.

"Yes, breastfeeding can be beneficial. However, when I was in childcare there was a saying we had when we gave advice to parents... 'Fed is best'." the user wrote, continuing the post.

"Do whatever you need to make sure your baby is fed regardless of method (breast, pumping, formula). A fed baby is a healthy baby," they pointed out.

The man his the baby formila

Photo: Getty Images

Another user commented saying his daughter was unable to breastfeed, but it did offer him the opportunity to be able to feed her as well as his wife.

"My daughter had a very bad and undiagnosed tongue tie in her first month. She could have died from malnutrition if I decided to hide the formula, because she just couldn't latch onto breasts as easily," the comment read.

"Mixed feeding was lovely, because I got to participate in it as a man. Night feeds are one of my most cherished memories".

Other users pointed out his behaviour was abusive, and he was gaslighting her by trying to make her believe she is being a bad mother.

"Adopted kids all over the world grow up from formula from day one with ZERO issues," someone else pointed out.

"Just because it is an option doesn't mean it needs to be."