Congratulations - you're a parent! Along with a whole list of new experiences, it's time to learn some new parenting vocab. We'll start with the basics.
Just like a tsunami, but made of poo.
This is when your baby's poo travels all the way up her back. It is also known as a poo explosion, or 'back poo'.
Poo-nami's tend to occur once you leave the house. They also occur when visitors come over, or when you have finally decided to use that button-down onesie that is a pain to undo.
Use in a sentence: 'Oh look, Arabella has done another poo-nami. Now we are running late. Well, even more late than we already were.'
2. Crap o'clock
Sometimes referred to as 'wine o'clock,' this is the hour in which you need to feed your children dinner, bath them, read to them and prepare them for bed. It can be known as the 'witching hour' for younger babies.
It is also the time at which your spouse promises he or she will be home (but inevitably won't be, due to that last minute meeting).
Note: Crap o'clock is not strictly one hour. It more encompasses a range of times.
Use in a sentence: 'Would you look at the time? Goodness me, it's crap o'clock already.'
3. Mount Washmore
This refers to the ever growing pile of dirty clothes that accumulates in a given spot. Its use is versatile, in that Mount Washmore need not be limited to the laundry alone.
Children are particularly good at 'cleaning' their rooms by relocating their Mount Washmore from their floor, to their wardrobe (also known as the 'floor-drobe').
Use in a sentence: 'I better go, Kel. It's time for me to tackle Mount Washmore.'
4. Cracking it
While you may have heard the term 'cracking it' before (perhaps in relation to a whip on a rodeo show) the term 'cracking it' also relates to a baby or child's reaction to an unpleasant event.
The nature of the unpleasant event varies. It may be due to parental malfunction (such as giving your child the wrong colour cup to drink from). It may relate to external circumstances (such as the shop having toys that the child would like, but is not allowed to keep).
Cracking it can involve a range of behaviours. These can include (but are not limited to) screaming, crying, kicking, howling and lying on the floor while thrashing about wildly.
Note: Many parents are unsure about this term in the beginning, afraid they may not know when is the correct time to employ its use. Do not worry; you will know when your child is cracking it.
Use in a sentence: 'We better leave now; Amelie is cracking it.'
You have heard the term 'unfair' before and may have even noted its use in modern day vernacular. However, once you have a child you will begin to notice its use increase exponentially.
Children are very astute monitors of what is and isn't 'fair'.
If their friend's sister's best friend's cousin's next door neighbour's daughter had an ice-cream last week, and you do not think it is appropriate for your child to have an ice-cream based on that fact, your child will deem this act 'unfair'.
In fact, anything that involves a child partaking in an activity that is not of their choosing will also be deemed unfair.
This includes (but is not limited to) bathing, brushing teeth, eating vegetables, not going swimming when it is raining, not dragging mud through the house, and not using their fingers to eat spaghetti.
Use in a sentence: 'I can't believe you won't let me paint the dog, Mum. That is SO unfair.'