Essential Baby blogger Amity Dry
My 3-and-a-half year old has recently hit the “Why?” stage in a big way and I’m finding myself sounding more and more like the Dad in the Telstra commercials.
I always wanted to be one those parents who offered a well thought out and educational answer to my child’s questions, rather than a “Because I said so.” But, I have to admit, some of his questions lately have had me struggling to find an age appropriate, non stupid, answer.
It started with questions about where dinosaurs come from, after they learnt about dinosaurs at his Early Learning Centre. It’s not easy telling your 3-year-old that Mummy actually knows nothing about dinosaurs. It’s even less easy admitting to yourself that your 3-year-old is already smarter than you in one area.
Then he asked me how babies got in your tummy, a pretty stock standard question for children to ask their parents. But my well thought out answer? When a Mummy and a Daddy love each other magic happens. Now that’s educational! But the honest answer seemed too much for a 3-year-old and I struggled to find an age appropriate version of it. Of course, following this rationale, when he asked if the baby pops out your belly button the obvious answer was a resounding yes. Hey, I’m still traumatised by the real version, no point giving him nightmares too!
The next question I struggled with shouldn’t have even been a hard one, yet I managed to find a ridiculous answer for this one too. He asked me why we have a Mummy and a Daddy. Simple question right? You try answering it, while preparing dinner. In the end I came up with the extremely lame “Mummies and Daddies do different things. Mummies are really good at looking after you and giving you kisses and cuddles and Daddies are really good at playing games and tickling you.” Seriously! I’ve just reduced the role of a father to someone who is good for a tickling game. Sorry about that Dads!
But then my husband, overhearing my answer and understandably thinking it sucked, offered his much wiser version. Speaking thoughtfully he responded, “We have a Mummy and a Daddy because Mummies are good at cooking, cleaning and reading books and Daddies are good at taking you to sports.” Thanks for that Daddy, equally useless and slightly more sexist than my attempt!
I really wanted to tell him that some kids don’t have a Mummy or a Daddy, and that some kids have two Mummies or two Daddies. But it just seemed too big for him to understand in that moment. Not that I underestimate what he understands one bit, he constantly surprises me, but I didn’t want to confuse him. I have every intention of explaining those things to him when he can understand, but it just didn’t feel appropriate in that moment. But perhaps it was the perfect moment and I should have given it more time and attention?
I remember clearly sitting in the crowd at the Opening Ceremony of the Sydney Olympics, next to a Father and his son, who looked about 8. As the athletes from different countries walked out to the stadium this boy peppered his Dad with questions about them. “What country is that, where is it, what sports do they do?” And his father patiently and intelligently responded to every question, providing his son with an amazing opportunity to learn. I remember thinking what a great Dad he was and how I hoped I would be the same type of parent one day. The kind of parent who encourages a thirst for knowledge with sensible and educational answers, rather than a brush off because they are too busy.
I still want to be that type of parent. I just may have to buy an encyclopaedia first. And hope that my son never me asks anything about maths, science, geography, geology... history... economics... sports...
Have you had to answer some tough questions and how did you do? What was your version of the birds and the bees talk and did you struggle through it? What is the funniest question your child has asked you? Comment on Amity's blog.
