Essential Baby blogger Amity Dry
I watched a show on Foxtel the other day titled Mumpreneurs, all about the rise in mothers running their own home based businesses. As a mum who works from home I watched with interest, keen to see how other mother?s experiences compared to mine. However, to my frustration, I found the rosy picture that was painted bore little resemblance to my day to day juggling act.
In the opening scene the host of the show introduced the subject with her own newborn baby in a sling, the picture of domestic bliss and successful TV career co-existing in perfect harmony. She went on to profile successful working mums who all waxed lyrical about the benefits of working from home, as their children played happily at their feet. It made it look so enticing I can imagine office bound mothers watching on with envy.
But, funnily enough, there were no scenes where their child screamed for their attention while they tried to make an important business call, or dumped a bowl of cereal all over their laptop. And there was certainly no scene where the Mumpreneurs plonked their kids in front of the TV all day because it was the only way they could get an urgent report finished.
But, to be honest, that is my working from home reality most days and it?s not half as enticing as it looked on that show!
Maybe I was just having a bad week when I watched it. Maybe I was feeling particularly overloaded. Because when the truck driving mum talked about how she ran a successful freight business that often involved driving long haul trips with her 2 year old in her car seat next to her I had to turn off the TV before I threw something at it.
Is there no area that us mums aren?t made to feel like everyone is doing a better job than we are? Now we need to feel pressure to be super Mumpreneur too?!
I should point out that I do feel very fortunate to be able to continue my career while being a stay at home mum, as I know for many working mums that is just not an option in their profession. And up until now it has gone pretty well. But at the moment trying to give my full attention to both my son and my work is proving to be an unattainable feat. I always feel like one of them is missing out, not getting the best of me, not getting the focus that it needs and deserves.
There is no doubt that working from home has a lot going for it. You can work in your pjs, choose your own hours and take holidays when you please. You can pick the kids up from school, be with them when they?re sick, go to playgroup and school excursions and, most importantly, be the main carer in your child?s life while still enjoying your career. In theory it seems perfect.
And it is certainly a growing trend, with web-based businesses a booming area for stay at home mums. Google ?mums working from home? and you will find a huge number of sites dedicated to the subject. Sites like www.workathomemums.com.au offer business opportunities, job advertisements, articles and resources for mothers choosing to run their careers from home.
But, despite all the positives, I am finding the reality is less than ideal. When my son was sleeping during the day it was much easier, we would go out and do something fun in the morning then he would sleep for a few hours in the middle of the day while I worked. Oh, those hours of uninterrupted productivity I used to enjoy! Leaving me free to devote my attention to him when he woke. But those day sleeps are long gone, taking those moments of uninterrupted productivity with them and making the work/child tug of war a constant battle.
With this in mind, I searched to find a solution to this problem on one of the work at home sites, keen to find the elusive answer. ?Involve your kids in your business? I found. ?Have them put letters in envelopes? it suggested. ?Set up colouring books and puzzles on the table next to you so they can play while you work.?
Seriously? That is their solution? Maybe it?s just that I have a 3 year old boy whose life purpose is to run around and make noise, but neither of those solutions are going to cut it for us.
In fact, I find the busier I am the more my son acts up to create ways to steal my attention from what I am doing. Which usually means him screaming at me while I?m on the phone, or pulling at my arm while I am trying to write an email. And often the only solution to keep him happy is to put him in front of the TV, which results in mother guilt that he would be better off in childcare doing activities. That mother guilt seems to find us no matter what we do, hey?!
Because it?s not just juggling work and kids you have to fit in when you?re at home, it?s your housework as well. It?s the cooking, vacuuming, washing and toilet cleaning that you end up doing on top of your work, because you?re there and someone has to do it. Things you wouldn?t have to consider if you were at an office and not a subject that was mentioned on Mumpreneurs. Lord knows when the truck driving mum is fitting in cleaning her bathroom!
Which brings me to a working mums secret. Many working mums I know go to work with the sole purpose of having some precious time to themselves. Time where no one pulls on their arm, screams in their ear, spills their drink or needs to go to the toilet. Time to have a lunch break, a coffee break or a phone call where they can hear themselves think. Time where they can have uninterrupted productivity. Then go home and give their full attention to their kids, knowing that someone will clean their office before they return. I got to say, that sounds kind of appealing right now!
Yet, despite all this, I wouldn?t change a thing. I love being able to take my son to playgroup, to be there to hear the funnily little things he says or snuggle in the morning knowing we don?t have to go any where yet. But it is a juggle, and one that I am constantly figuring out how to manage.
So I?d love to hear the experiences of other work from home mums, or work out of home mums or just mums at all with tips on how you manage it all. Or, of you don?t have a tip, feel free to just have a whinge about how tired you are trying to manage it all!
How do you manage the work/kids balance? Do you work from home and what do you think the pros and cons are? Or do you work out of home and what are the pros and cons for that? I?d love to hear your stories??
Comment on Amity's blog here.
