Essential Baby blogger Amity Dry
A few weeks ago an unexpected invitation popped into my in-box. It was sent to a group of my friends, all of us Mums, and it read,
You are invited to the inaugural Friday after work drinks at my place, 3pm.
We have been working hard all week and deserve a reward at the end of it, why should those with jobs outside the home have all the fun? Bring a bottle to share, nibbles provided, kids optional. See you there!
I have to admit, I was a little more excited by this invitation than is really cool to admit. The idea of rewarding myself and having a little bit of ‘me’ time at the end of a long week keep me going for the next 14 days of clothing tantrums, night waking and ear infections, like a shining beacon at the end of the tunnel. And it wasn’t just me that felt that way, with the RSVP’s flowing in thick and fast, each one more excited by this simple prospect than the last.
I should mention here that none of us are sad loners, devoid of opportunities to socialise. We are all vibrant women who, in our pre-children existence, were advertising managers, lawyers, physiotherapists, travel agents and teachers, to name a few, all enjoying our fair share of Friday night drinks. But all of us are now stay at home mums (some working part time) and have found that this new career of motherhood, while it’s rewards are plenty, doesn’t offer the same opportunities to wind down at the pub after a long and stressful day. And what can be more stressful than negotiating the fine balance of changing the pants of a soaked toilet training toddler while keeping your baby attached to your boob? If that doesn’t deserve a drink afterwards I don’t know what does!
So the much-anticipated date finally came around and we all arrived, bottle in hand. I noticed we’d all made just a little more effort with what we wore, to mark the occasion as special. And from the moment we got there it felt different from our usual catch ups, calmer, more….civilised. Drinking champagne and eating cheese in the middle of the day felt completely indulgent, and absolutely fantastic!
You see, all of us Mums catch up once a week at our local playgroup, where we try and have a little respite while our kids destroy an environment other than our own. But between trying to convince our offspring to eat the fruit that’s been so loving cut for them, reading a book they’ve requested, cleaning paint off their shirts or telling them off for being silly during singing time we’re lucky to finish a sentence, let alone a conversation. And even if we do it’s most likely a whinge about how exhausted we are, how difficult our kids are being, or how we haven’t slept properly for years.
But at Friday night drinks there was no whinging, there was giggling. I don’t know if it was the champagne or just the different mood of the occasion, but suddenly we weren’t a group of mums anymore, we were women, women who have sides to us that don’t revolve around our kids. We talked about current affairs, debated about politics, lamented about why no dads at our local park looked like the park dad on Brothers and Sisters and agreed that if our husbands looked like Rob Lowe we’d never leave the house, let alone go to the park. We relaxed.
Some brought their kids, some of us made the most of kindy or grandparents and came solo. But the kids who were there played happily outside together, incident and intervention free. And it was certainly no big drinking session, most had only a glass or two, so were still able to focus on the kids if needed. Although, we definitely overindulged in the cheese platter!
And when six o’clock came everyone packed their kids in the car, waved goodbye and went home, feeling just a little more like themselves. And the experience has reminded me how important is for us mums (or stay at home dads) to take that time out for ourselves, to put back into our reserves. We give so much, so consistently, that we need to put back or we’ll run on empty. And I don’t want to be the type of mum who is always harassed and exhausted, I want to remember who I am, I want to giggle.
So from now on Friday after work drinks is becoming a fortnightly event in our circle. Feel free to take the idea and adopt it as a tradition in yours, and roll on next Friday!
What do you do to have some ‘me’ time and how important do you think it is to take some time out for yourself? I’d love to hear your thoughts…
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